I stood at the open door watching as Jasper moved like a bullet shot from a gun off into the distance. Well, actually I couldn't say that I so much as watched my friend as I marveled at his speed. If only I could move that fast. It would make me much more efficient.

I sighed thinking it was not so long ago when joining the ranks of the likes of Jasper was all, but a certainty for me. Although, now that my main reason behind being part of that world was gone there really wasn't any desire left inside me to become a vampire. My main center of that wish had always been Edward. Now that he was dead, immortality along with all the other special quirks that came with being part of the undead lost its appeal. No, I would never want to live forever in a world that did not contain him.

Turning away from looking at the landscape outside of the Cullen home, I closed the door and decided to pull my mind away from the detrimental path it was taking. Seriously, Jasper had only been gone a minute and already I was delving into the dark part of my soul where I housed grief. Why was I so weak without him? It was like I couldn't function for even a second when I lacked Dr. Emo by my side.

And yet…

Jasper had admitted to just as much when we both looked into the face of our loss – the urns. He needed me as much as I needed him. For some reason this thought brought me a bit of peace against the misery my will tried to keep at bay. If Jasper felt the same way for me as I did for him then this meant he wouldn't tire of me anytime soon. My vampire savior would stay around and together we would pull each other through our suffering. I wrapped my mind around the certainty of his commitment to me and a wave of contentment surged through my body. His commitment to me and mine to him.

I found that focusing on this one detail sustained me just enough and probably would continue to do so until Jasper came back from his trip to get 'Clueless'. I smirked at the knowledge that the two of us would soon be watching such a girlie movie together. I was glad the film had a decent plot. Otherwise, I may have been embarrassed. Someone of his caliber might think less of me for liking such a girl centric movie.

Shaking my head slightly at the thought of us watching the it, I decided to head in the direction of main floor's restroom to do a face check. Half of my day had been spent crying and the little bit of mascara I managed to put on for work had probably smeared down my face along with the river of tears.

I could recount three exact moments when the waters works had sprung forth from my tear ducts. The first being while I stood witness as Jasper entered into Alice's closet and narrated a remembrance of each of her outfits. This had been difficult for him as well as me. Alice had lived and breathed fashion and seeing the many items of clothing displayed around the closet brought back images inside my head of her anytime I saw something I recognized. Of course, Jasper remembered so much more than I did, but the one item that caused the most emotion from us was Alice's white wedding dress. She had worn the lovely satin gown for their first sham wedding.

Vampires had no need to marry. Finding a deep connection with another of their kind that was strong enough to make them a partner for all eternity was like everything else in their world, an intimate moment shared only with the mate. The extravagance of a wedding was a human triviality, but when Alice and Jasper had joined the pseudo human life of the Cullen's a wedding had been inevitable. So, Alice had bought a dress and the two recited their vows to each other in the company of a few guests - some human and some vampire. While Jasper retold the tale, I found myself crying and by the story's end it was Jasper who had to comfort me.

Then there was Jasper's beautiful guitar work and also seeing the urns that had brought tears to my eyes. I shook my head once more. I had become such a blubbering fool as of late. My imagination conjured up images of just how awful I probably looked. Puffy eyes marred by mascara stains would no doubt be in store for me once I reached the restroom and sure enough, upon arriving at my destination I gasped as my eyes stared widely at the monstrous face looking back at me in the large mirror above the sink.

"Holy Crow!" I exclaimed.

Maybe my tendency to not splurge on makeup was coming back to bite me in the butt. Both my cheeks and the area underneath my eyes were coated in a thick layer of dark brown. Had Jasper seen me this way? Why hadn't he said anything? Well, the two of us had spent the majority of the day not thinking of such superficial things as physical appearance while we laid out our emotions for the other to see (or feel, in Jasper's case), but still … I looked hideous! How could my friend have kept a straight face during that whole time?

Taking the backs of my hands, I tried to scrub the dark smears from my face all to no avail. This was going to require more extreme measures and so, I headed back to the couch were my duffel bag was and brought it into the bathroom with me. I pulled out my toiletry bag and attempted to use face wash on the mess my face had become. It worked, but the feeling of cleansing my makeup away caused a want in me to take a shower. Jasper had said he would be back in 15 minutes. Did I have time? I glanced at the large tub to my left with its exquisite white marble surface and dainty cloth shower curtain that was covered in pink flowers. It looked so inviting. 15 minutes … I could manage. Then just like that my clothes fell against the stone cold floor beneath my feet and I stepped into the lavish tub.

The inside of the bathtub smelled fresh and brand new and as far as I could tell there was not a spot of mildew or corrosion on the sleek surface or the shower curtain. Then a thought occurred to me. Did vampires even shower? The tub seemed so unused. I glanced around for a random piece of evidence that would have answered my question – a bottle of shampoo, a bar of soap, but came up empty. I tried to recall a time when Edward might have felt the need to cleanse his body with water and soap, but there was not a memory for me to grasp hold of. Mentally I debated whether or not I should ask Jasper about it. Would the question be too personal? As my mind pondered this a sudden vision assaulted me or rather pleased me with its powerfulness and I quickly diverted away from the immense glory that was Jasper in the shower.

Where the hell had that come from?

For the third time since Jasper's departure, I found myself turning my head in a back and forth motion, but unlike before when I had done so in reaction to silly thoughts about myself, this action was done for a much different reason. I fervently wanted to shake the image of showering Jasper from branding itself further into my brain.

This is not right. I shouldn't think of Jasper this way!

Maybe hurrying up with my own shower might wash away the dirty images my brain felt compelled to conjure.

Damnit all! Why did I have to be so driven by my raging hormones? I suppose this was what eventually happened when your boyfriend/fiancé refused to make love to you and nothing, but your virginity was left as a parting gift. I grimaced at the cruelty of my thoughts. I had always understood Edward's aversion to sex with me, but that did not mean I agreed with it. I sighed knowing this wasn't exactly the first time I had daydreamed about a naked vampire, but it certainly was a change to have the focus of my naughty thoughts not be Edward. Just like with Jasper's voice residing inside my head, now he was taking a place inside my desires. Rolling my eyes, I decided to get on with my shower and leave such musings behind.

Quickly, I went about washing my hair and body before stepping out into the chilled air of the bathroom. Grasping the much too fancy towel draped over the rack on the wall, I hid my naked form underneath it and set to drying myself off. Then pulling out my meticulously chosen pajamas for the evening - a faded T Shirt of some band Edward had liked and then plain cotton bottoms - I began to dress. I wouldn't be hidden behind a large comforter tonight, so I wanted to make sure I wasn't going to be projecting the image of a slob in Jasper's presence and this meant my usual holey sweats were a no go.

As I was pulling the shirt over my head my ears perked at the sound of a door closing and I came to the conclusion that Jasper must have come home a bit early. It hadn't felt like 15 minutes. Either way, I hastened to dress myself and get presentable before I exited the bathroom. Once everything was in order I opened the door and stepped out examining the area for my friend. Only my eyes saw a much different person off towards the front entrance. During the short time I had been in the bathroom the sun had fallen lower in the sky causing the living room to be shrouded in dark shadows. If I hadn't been so terrified I might have turned on a light to see the person standing a couple yards away from me, but I couldn't be sure who he was and didn't dare. I only knew that it was a male and he was not Jasper.

I uttered an oath and ran straight back to where I had come from, slamming the door behind me. Of course, this would happen. The irony was so cutting from my point of view. Bella Swan, 18 years old, dead. The victim of a home invasion would be the words of my obituary … not death by sadistic, vengeful vampire … no, my end would come at the hands of a plain old ordinary human.

Just then, as I sat with my back against the door and my knees pulled up against my chest, I heard my cell phone ring. I had dropped the phone in my duffel bag and now that bag was sitting defenseless out in the hallway were my stranger could easily do whatever he wanted with it. I clenched down my teeth just waiting for whatever fate had in store for me. It was inevitable now. There was no way that the silly little lock on the bathroom door would keep whoever it was outside from coming in. The phone rang again and I figured it must be Jasper. He probably couldn't find the movie. Would he come back to find me alive? I knew how protective he had become of me … his reaction to the name Mike Newton was proof enough that Jasper didn't like it when others encroached on what was important to him, so would this mean that maybe when I didn't answer my phone a mental red flag to raise for him. Could I count on my over protective vampire to race home and rescue me in time?

While I desperately clung to this hope, something small slid underneath the crack between the door and the floor and skidded across the tile before coming to a stop inches from my legs. Instantly this device began to play the familiar tune I knew as my ringtone and without questioning how or why my phone was suddenly in sight, I reached out with my hand and grasped it.

"Jasper!" I breathed into the phone, without glancing to see who called… I didn't have to look at the number to know it was him, I just knew.

It was only after I finished conveying my fear to him and was once again left alone with that emotion, that a low and placating voice spoke to me through the door, "Bella, please come out. I gave you your phone as a show of peace. I just really need to talk to you before that blood sucker gets back."

"Jacob?" My voice was startled.

He was the last person I ever expected to visit a den of vampires. By nature he hated them and now that I was once again entangled in their lifestyle his feelings for me had taken the same direction as the ones he felt for Jasper. Why the hell was my former best friend here?

"Yes, it's me … just please open up." Jake spoke in a calm manner, but I could hear the urgency just below the surface of his voice.

I got to my feet then and swung the door inward to reveal Jacob Black standing on the other side sans shirt as always. Seeing him this way brought back the memory of the pain I felt the last time we had talked … when he had said goodbye. I couldn't help myself then when I scowled and in a scathingly mocking style said, "Won't Sam be upset that you decided to disobey his orders? I mean according to him I am not worth acknowledging as a person anymore."

I breezed past him only to have my hand caught from behind and then roughly jerked back to where I had to face Jacob once more, "Ugh. Seriously Bella there is no time for this. I'm not sure how long I will be able to keep Sam from reading my thoughts. Right now I can block him, but I'm new at this."

His words made no sense to me. Of course, Sam would read his mind as soon as Jake transformed himself back in a wolf, "What are you talking about?"

"Remember when I told you before that I was the true Alpha of the Quileute wolf pack … that I should have been their leader, but gave it to Sam, because I didn't want the responsibility. Well, ever since Sam decided to give all of us that stupid order about you I have been trying to hone that leader part of me and I've discovered new ways of blocking Sam out. This is actually my first attempt to do something that I really don't want him seeing in my head. I had to come, though … to warn you." He talked so fast that I barely had time to comprehend what he spoke of before Jake really hit me in the gut with the news he had been waiting to deliver.

"I still can't tell you everything since Sam has ordered all of us not to speak of it with anyone, but I have been working on that too. It's amazing, Bella … when I finally tapped into the fullest of my abilities as a wolf … the things I can do, but yeah no time for that. You see Sam is planning something big and it involves you and your new leech friend Jasper."

I cringed like I had been stuck in the face by one of Jake's huge fists. My reaction was not only in response to his choice of term regarding Jasper, but also at my sheer surprise at such a revelation. Sam had enough of an issue with my connection to Jasper that he was planning something big and I was pretty sure that the something big was not meant to be a positive. He wasn't going to be throwing us a party or something similar anytime soon. No, the way Jacob spoke conveyed just how unpleasant the meaning of the word big actually was. I wanted to press him for more details, but remembered his words – I can't tell you everything.

"Jake … I don't know what to say. This is not what I expected to hear from you. To be honest, I never thought you would speak to me again."

My friend took both his large tan hands and cupped my cheeks with them. Jeez, they were so freaking huge. I almost felt like he could have covered my whole head with them. Then Jake leaned in very closely to my face and whispered, "I'm so sorry about that, Bella, but I didn't have a choice. I've been trying so hard to find a way to talk with you again and see you without having to do it from a far away distance. But, I'm here now and know that I will never ever let Sam or anyone else hurt you."

His dark eyes stared into mine and I reached out to hug him tightly, "Thank you, Jake."

Then in an instant my hold on him was broken. Jacob was moving away from me, "I gotta get going before your vamp friend comes back and I lose my concentration."

I could see it in his face that although, he was okay with being close enough to me when the smell of vampire permeated my body, Jake had no intention of sticking around long enough to be near the originator of that scent.

"But, Jake you just got here and you really should tell Jasper about this yourself. It would be better coming from you." I was grasping at straws to get him to stay, because he was already inches from the front door.

"Bye, Bella." He said and was gone before I could protest his departure any further.

I stood there gazing at the entrance feeling dumbstruck. Had that really happened? The experience seemed to occur far too quickly and had a dream like quality … it just couldn't be real. Was I losing my mind? Shaking my head for the fourth time that evening I closed my eyes tightly and tried to comprehend all Jacob had told me. Could it be true? Was Sam planning something to cause me more pain … more loss? Did it mean I was putting Jasper in danger? My mind wouldn't even allow me to think further down that path. I just couldn't even imagine what it would be like to lose another vampire that I cared about deeply.

"Bella!"

I recognized the relieved voice of Jasper at once. My eyes shot open and I saw that he was standing in the doorway. His look was wretched. Worry was etched all over his features, but when his eyes locked with mine a peace fell over him and then in one of his famous vampire moves I was suddenly enclosed in a fierce hug. His voice trembled as he spoke into my ear, "You're fine … you're fine."

Jasper's hand stroked the back of my wet hair while he continued to murmur that I was fine over and over. He must have really been worried. "It's okay … I really am fine," I said while pulling him in tighter. "But, there is something I need to tell you."

"About Jacob, I assume." Jasper growled as he pulled away, but still kept his arms wrapped around my torso.

I nodded and could foresee a long night ahead of us discussing something other than our pain for once. Now we had bigger worries, because whatever Sam was planning would no doubt involve not only Jasper and I, but the rest of his family as well.