Title: Black and Deep Desires
By: Dr. Kim-chan
Me: Thank you, everyone, for a great year here at Black and Deep Desires. And what a year it's been! You can go to our forum and talk about your favorite chapters, moments in the fic, even your favorite muse! (I bet it's Plushie, isn't it?) Anyway, I am totally, honestly, really, really, really, very, totally, immensely sorry for the HUGE delay in bringing Chapter 35 to you. I will NEVER DO THAT AGAIN! (bows at your feet) Many things have happened in the past three months, among them a total writer's block. For another…
(A boatload of confetti drops down, and I put on a graduation cap.)
Me: I AM FINALLY FREE! FREE FROM THE SHACKLES OF COMPULSORY EDUCATION! FREE FROM THE LOCKERS AND BOOKS AND EARLY-AS-HELL MORNINGS! My friends, I HAVE GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL!
All muses: (clap, but are now worried for my sanity)
Me: Anyway, I don't expect to go to college until the following January of next year. Even then, this is VERY good news for all my readers. I get more free time; they get more chapters—faster this time! (Readers cheer in ecstasy.) I've seen your votes; I've heard your reviews. And so the call will finally be answered! ROLLING! (clicks remote)
Note: Snape is regular type; Lucius is in italics.
Note Two: There's also a new forum topic up! The subject: "Your Favorite Quote From the Fic Thus Far and Why?"
(Begin Chap. 35)
…As the evening began to envelop the Scottish countryside, shadows began to overtake the numerous hallways and stairwells of Hogwarts…which just went to show that even natural phenomena could have some sort of connection to people's emotions. Draco's situation seemed to be getting worse by the day, and now he was in the hospital ward for the second time in two months. Ron, despite continuing encouragement from Hermione, was still withholding his secret rendezvous from Harry. Hermione herself wasn't sure if she should break her confidentiality with Ron. Harry's trust in the both of them was heading towards a downward spiral. It was an unsafe web, the strings growing tighter with each incident.
On this night, a few more strings were added, thanks to Professor Snape.
We've taken note since Harry's fifth year that Snape was exceptional when it came to the arts of Occlumency and Legilimency. I ask you to also remember his odd behavior when Professor Mills first arrived at Hogwarts. Let's see how this returns to Lucius Malfoy.
After he made his rounds to ensure that the Potions storeroom was locked and the Slytherins were at least pretending to be asleep, Snape went straight to his bedchambers, which as I've said before is adjacent to his office. So much was out of harmony with the same old song: Draco's frequent visits to the hospital ward, Potter and his friends barely speaking to each other, the Memory Charm incident with the house-elf and the attack on Granger about a month ago, Narcissa Malfoy's death and Lucius's strange reaction. Speaking of which, where did Weasley come into the picture?
Snape stared intently into the flames of the candles standing on the top of his desk as they made their futile attempts to banish the darkness from the small room. Sending an owl would be too dangerous at the moment, not to mention it would take too long. But he had to contact his former comrade somehow. He decided, against his good judgment, to use Legilimency. His face in a thoughtful-looking grip using his thumbs and forefingers, his dark eyebrows furrowed in concentration.
"Lucius…where in blazes are you?"
…Miles away, in the mansion near the town of Wilshire, the stern blond wizard was also sitting at a desk in his study, continuing to go over a couple of documents. There had been at least two more mass meetings with the Death Eaters since Ron's departure, and from the dissatisfied tone of the Dark Lord's voice ("dissatisfied" being an understatement), Draco's mission wasn't progressing as it should. Their long-time spy at Hogwarts hadn't seen any further development in Harry's behavior other than the fact that he wasn't speaking to either Ron and Hermione, and that was Ron's own fault for being skittish with his secret concerning Lucius. On the other hand, Voldemort hadn't rushed the procedure, only giving warning for the spy to further monitor Draco's actions. He didn't seem worried in the least…
And yet again, an exposed secret that should have sent him to his death immediately was responsible for putting him in an even worse fate. He couldn't even see the parchments in front of him, he was so worried.
Was Ron really this important to him?
Suddenly, a slight pain attacked him in the back of his head. Lucius growled and held his forehead in his hand. Speak of the devil.
…"Lucius, I must speak with you."
"You are aware that this is gross misconduct, Severus. You're our vital—not to mention our only—connection to Hogwarts. Any—"
"Any unauthorized and unnecessary communication will be severely punished," Snape recited in what sounded to Lucius as a bored tone. "Yes I know, but this takes priority over any remote worry I have of disobeying the Dark Lord's word. The first of my concerns is that your son is in the hospital ward again."
"Again?"
"I decided to tell you first this time around. My guess is it's the stress of this mission…among other things."
"Among what other things?"
"I'm not exactly sure myself. Surely his mother's death and Weasley's newfound inheritance is a factor. But there are other possibilities. For one, the Malefecium Elixir itself is a huge risk. It hasn't been completed successfully in centuries. Who's to say it doesn't have adverse effects?"
"I'll make sure to ask Callisto about it."
"Now, secondly and most important, there is the matter of Weasley I've wanted to discuss since Narcissa's passing. I probably won't escape from this conversation unscathed, but do you think you owe me an explanation as well? If this is anything that will compromise our plans, then abandon all hope you have of sidestepping your duties."
"I already have."
"Say again?"
"To answer your first question, yes, I have some…emotions for Ron."
"…Please tell me I was mistaken in hearing you call Weasley by his first name."
"No you weren't," Lucius thought in irritation. A second later his words softened.
"It no longer does me any good to regard him as an unfamiliar object. We are much closer than you think, Severus—much closer. In that short moment of frustration and conflict after my wife's death, I felt unashamed to make sure our tie would never be broken. In some way, I thought that the best means for him to do so was for him to take Narcissa's place…at least, as my inheritor. I wasn't sidestepping my duties; I was adding one more to my list. Unfortunately all that's turned against me, none of which would have happened if Bellatrix knew how to mind her own."
"Where is this accusation coming from?"
"For a short while Callisto had to leave to tend to other matters. During that time he sent me a letter counseling me on what to do about Ron. Somehow the letter got into the wrong hands…Bellatrix's hands. Knowing already how desperately she aspires to stay on Voldemort's good graces, and how much she's hated me since Narcissa and I married, you would think you knew what happened next."
In all truth, Snape was a little frightened to make that guess. So, as usual, he expressed it through his trademarked sarcasm the best he could.
"If I'm correct, then how are you still alive, let alone talking to me?"
"Because you aren't. What's worse, Bellatrix enlisted the help of Pettigrew. I don't know how they did it, and I don't think I care to know. Either way I'm now forced to prove to Lord Voldemort that this is nothing but a sham to further his power. We both are already aware of Potter's current foul mood towards Ron. He runs to me during Christmas holiday, and I play the game further. Divide and conquer, it's that simple."
Snape noted the poorly-hidden misery in his voice, and there was a prolonged silence.
"You didn't expect this to end happily, did you?" he finally asked, starting to tire of this new, sentimental Lucius Malfoy. "We signed away our freedom the second Voldemort branded the Dark Mark on our arms. Your destiny is his destiny now. You've seen what happens to the fools who try and chase their own dreams. You heard of Karkaroff's fate. And why Weasley? You could have your choice of many others, many better."
"…It's something I cannot exactly explain. Perhaps, when he was here, he dared me to ask myself questions I'd been too arrogant to ask. Do you remember what I was like before I married, Severus?"
A dry chuckle. "There were two of you, if I must be honest. One nearly worked himself to an early death trying to live up to the Malfoy name. The other one was much happier, doing as he wished when he was attending Hogwarts, all the while still holding his noble airs. When you married Narcissa, however, the obedient side won over. Even after, your personalities constantly fought each other. Always deceiving, always charming, you eventually gained more than what you could ever ask for."
"Almost. For as long as I stayed with Narcissa, there was one thing I could never have. Only now have I fully come to realize that I've been neglecting my own needs. Ron fulfills that longing."
"Would you be willing to betray the Dark Lord in the process?"
"I have no desire to die, and I have no desire to give up what is rightfully mine. I still share Voldemort's views; I just do not think I have to be a total slave to his will in order to make that happen. Destiny or not, whatever the outcome is meant to be, I will have Ron by my side."
…October 23rd.
Draco left the hospital ward after only a day, but to defeat the purpose of recovery, he came out worse than when he went in. He avoided Blaise all together, and at first that posed a problem. He shared nearly every class with him, not to mention the same dormitory. One time he even felt prone to snap at Pansy Parkinson when she tried to offer her services, which only spelled trouble for the rest of the school. (Pansy was a complete nightmare when she was depressed.) Either way it went, Draco now had even less of a desire to run to Potter.
Ron, on the other hand, wanted to talk to Blaise as soon as possible. Blaise had been trying to avoid him lately, but Ron wasn't standing for it anymore.
It was the first minutes of dinner, so only a few students and teachers were in the Great Hall (Professor Mills was always the last to come, saying that she always had to perform quite a few spiritual vigils so she could get to bed at a timely hour). Usually Blaise had no fear of coming to dinner early. Despite the fact that he loved to eat, Ron almost always came a little later with his friends. But Blaise didn't count on tonight.
Not only did Ron come early, he came in through the other set of double doors—on Slytherin's side. By pure instinct Blaise looked up and blanched. He had no intention of jumping up and running away in public, even if there were only a few people around him—a Zabini never avoided a confrontation. But, deep in his chest, there arose the feeling which told him there was nothing else he'd rather do. The blue fire that was in Draco's eyes a couple of days ago had now jumped to Ron's. He marched right up and crossed his arms.
"There you are, you sniveling git. Where do you get off playing around with me like that?" he snapped loudly, making two Ravenclaws behind him jump in their seats.
"Listen to me. Nothing personal, Ron; it was for Draco's sake," Blaise answered coolly.
"Nothing personal! You made out with me just to make some ex-boyfriend jealous! Like hell it wasn't personal! I don't like Malfoy, and I never will, but even I know that what you did didn't do him a damn bit of good. What'd you think would happen?"
Blaise looked around and leaned in closer, his eyebrows now wrinkled in fierce concentration.
"Look, Draco isn't going to admit this himself, but there's a friend of yours he likes."
The redhead's eyes grew to near-gigantic proportions, and Blaise took it as a good sign. He had his full attention.
"Who?" Ron choked out.
"I can't exactly say, but if Draco doesn't stop obeying the wrong people the person he really loves is going to die soon," explained Blaise in earnest. "The only reason I went through with that damned ridiculous plan was to save Draco and that other person. Needless to say it didn't work…my own bloody fault."
This certainly took the edge off of Ron's anger. He didn't know what to think. As Blaise admitted, it was a stupid plan when one glanced at it in the long run, but it was for a good reason. And what "wrong people" was he talking about? His father? You-Know-Who?
"Zabini, if one of my friends is in danger, I gotta know what's going on," Ron pleaded. Blaise looked up at him in sympathy. There were many things he was going to put in danger by disclosing this information, among them his own life. But Draco would always matter to him even more. Besides, who said he couldn't pass his Pensieve test twice?
"After dinner, on the third floor. Meet me there."
…10:03 p.m.
In a lonely corridor hidden within the dungeons, Professor Snape was conducting his last inventory check of the day in his storeroom. It seemed like with each passing year, his storeroom was increasingly getting broken into. An extra step of prevention surely didn't hurt.
He was stepping down from the ladder when he heard a soft sound. He climbed off and stared out past the doorway. Uniquely-shaped shadows, created by the torches on the damp stone walls, flickered and changed with the rhythm of the cold drafts. Aside from that, though, there wasn't anyone there. Snape dismissed it as paranoia and walked out of the storeroom, closing and locking the door behind him.
The sound echoed again. There was no mistaking it. Someone was watching him—again.
"Good evening, Severus."
Snape turned and saw the all-too-familiar flash of reddish-auburn hair. Professor Mills was about four feet away, yet she could still burn a hole through him with her intense, violet eyes.
"What business do you have in the dungeons?" he demanded icily.
"As it so happens, it's my turn to assist Filch and the Aurors with patrolling the halls," she replied with a warm smile. "You know all the teachers have been taking turns with security—by the way, your turn will be approximately a week from now."
(Let it be on the record that there was no set schedule, and that the teachers were chosen at random.)
"Since that incident with Miss Granger, none of us can take chances anymore. For instance, your regular checks on your potions ingredients. All those thefts would give any self-respecting Potions professor a scare."
"I suspect you came here for more than talking."
"Always the practical one, aren't you Severus? Well, if you must know, it was fate that finally gave me a chance to come down here with a valid excuse. I should have come to you much earlier, though. I honestly don't know why you have to be so twitchy around me"—and suddenly her eyes narrowed and ceased to sparkle—"I'll allow you to finish what Voldemort sent you here to do. I have my own assignment to finish."
"The only reason I feel uncomfortable around you is because you can break through an Occlumens, and you'd have no trouble using anything against me. And furthermore, I don't need your consent. I had been given this position by both Voldemort's ingenuity and Dumbledore's shortsightedness. You just worry about the Order."
Umira let out an exasperated sigh. "Of course I am. For Merlin's sake, Severus, we hold the same standing in our master's eyes. I'll admit, you're more adept at this than I, but I'm sure I can hold my own. But, speaking personally for a moment, can you inform me as to why Draco is slow in carrying out his mission, and yet Voldemort hasn't said anything?"
She raised her eyebrow, and Snape actually stepped back for a moment.
"It isn't like him to act this way. He has a hidden agenda."
"Those were my suspicions as well. Unfortunately I am not aware of his true plans, so I couldn't tell you."
"You don't need to. It took me a long time to perform it successfully…there were too many energies at work. But I've finally got the ghosts off of my back and went to the cards. I know you have no respect for Divination—"
"I have no respect for Sybill Trelawney. You, on the other hand, are a true Seer. You can stop being humble; what did the cards reveal?"
"It was certainly a reading I won't forget. I did it from Draco's perspective to get the most out of it, and usually I just get three, and I ended up with nine! First I turned up with the Hanged Man, the Knight of Cups, and the Lovers—all reversed. Then I went in-depth to see what the Lovers card referred to. Got King of Wands, Two of Cups, and the Star reversed. To put it in words: 'Draco is blindly following orders, ignoring his own personal needs and what he knows is right. The problem is further compounded by the fact that his master has deceitful intentions. This will result in the loss of a love.' This love was represented by the King of Wands—a dark-haired hero who wields both awesome power and deep compassion—"
"It wouldn't be…," Snape started to say. Umira grinned deviously.
"The Two of Cups indicated that they would be a perfect match. However, the reversed Star says that Draco's been taught to forsake the emotions of his heart in the name of tradition."
"And the last three cards?"
"The Sun reversed, the Chariot, and the High Priestess. 'Despite immediate complications, light may certainly come from this situation, but only through the bold actions of a woman. Specifically, the High Priestess represents—"
"A female Seer?"
Umira looked at him knowingly. "You're beginning to catch on."
"I hope you won't be too bold," Snape warned. "Voldemort hates deviants. Just a couple of days ago I had to warn Lucius of the same exact thing."
"Severus, I'm a double spy. Finesse has always been at the core of my success."
(End Chap. 35)
All: (gasp VERY loudly)
Me: And so the secret has been revealed!
Harry: I trusted that woman!
Me: For a three-month break, I hope I satisfied my fans...or lack thereof, since I took so damn long. Again, I apologize. I'll just have to get my swing back after not writing for so long. See ya in Chapter 36, everyone!