Much thanks to the many good readers, reviewers and favoriters (Not a word, but roll with it) out there!
Theme is being CUED UP!
...
Okay, seriously, this is the seventh time I've called you this week! Come on, pick up! Ah, right! Hello, listen, I'm up in Shepperton Studio, recording room number 130? Yeah, look, you've been sending me batches of footage, and for whatever reason, there's been problems with equipment once I get it. The last one was the worst, I'm recording it with Mr Starr now- Oh, that reminds me, go ahead Ringo!
Thanks mate.
Yeah, I'm here. What do you mean, there's nothing wrong with the footage!? Look, do I have to send you the goddamn-
...
One day, Henry wanted to rest at the Harbor, but Percy was busy entertaining some engines. Henry moaned as he spotted the three of them sitting together, thick as thieves. It had been rather a long day.
Henry had recently taken up working a sort of night shift of kinds at the Harbor. Thus he was privy to all the workmen's rumors flying about, but in particular, that of a mysterious crate that had cracked open in the night. The mystery had been further confounded by another rumor, spread not just by workmen, but by engines who had briefly come from the mainland to work, of seeing a black shadow move around the sheds and yards, watching. There was almost never anyway to prove that this thing had even existed beyond the starved imaginations of tired people, but even stranger was that both workman and engine agreed alike that this did not resemble a steam engine.
Henry was jolted from his thoughts by discovering the points to the shed.
...
Percy, meanwhile, was telling them about the time he had braved bad weather to help Thomas. Which was pretty damn incredible, considering as that hadn't happened yet.
"It was raining hard! Water swirled under my boiler! I couldn't see where I was going, but I struggled on!" Percy frowned, he had no idea where these thoughts were coming from but he fed them.
"Ohhhh Percy, you are brave!" said one of the twin engines, feeding his ego.
"Well, it wasn't anything really! Water's nothing to a engine with determination."
"Tell us more Percy!" exulted the other twin.
"What are YOU engines doing here?" hissed Henry snappily. "This shed is for the Fat Controller's engines! Now go away and leave me alone!"
"But we are!" protested Twin 1.
"Are what?"
"Fat Controller's engines!" Twin 2 explained. "We just wanted to get out of the Clay pits and get some actual airtime before the camera crew officially come to our place!"
"I repeat my last sentence!" snapped Henry. "Silly things! Camera hogs!"
"Says the person who had a entire season to him last time." muttered Twin 1 as both engines moved off.
"I HEARD THAT!"
"They're not silly!" snapped Percy angrily. He had been enjoying himself. "A bit...naive perhaps, but not dumb!"
"You only say that because they'll listen to your made up stories! They are silly, and so are you!" Henry scoffed. "I mean, you've basically turned into us at this point with your flaunting and your peacock like fascination with getting acknowledged! Did the signal teach you nothing?!"
"Only that bad things lead to me getting a new friend to help us in the fight against tender engine supremacy!"
"And for another thing! Water's nothing to a engine with determination?! PAH! All the determination in the world won't help when you've got your fire damp!"
"Anyway-" slyly remarked Percy. "-I'm not afraid of water, unlike some other green engines I know of. I like it!" And he ran off singing. "Once a engine attached to a train, was afraid of quite a few drops of rain!"
"OH HAR HAR!" Henry roared after him. He sat upon his wheels, depressed. "No one's ever going to let me forget about the time I wouldn't come out of the tunnel in case the rain spoiled my paint." he huffed.
He glared at the seagull. "And what are you looking at?!"
...
In another part of the harbor, Percy puffed up alongside Thomas, still sniggering. Thomas was sitting and looking next to a board on the Quay. "Danger!" He said aloud.
"Will Robinson? Also, I can read, you know."
"We mustn't go past it. That's orders."
To Percy, this was like pulling out three red flags and waving them at a line of angry bulls. "Why!? When did you ever listen to what you were told!?"
"Danger means falling down something." Thomas said, in a rare instance of being incredibly naive. "I ran past danger once, and fell down a mine!" Thomas paused upon reflection. "Plus side, they closed that place down years ago, so there'll be no chance of me- US getting trapped down there again."
"I can't see a mine!" said Percy, being stupider than usual. He didn't know that the foundations of the quay had sunk, and the rails now sloped downwards into the sea. He could have plainly seen it, if not for two reasons. One, he was a idiot. And two, he was so determined to spite this attempt at orders that even if he had seen it, he would have rationalized it as something else.
"Stupid board!" snapped Percy like a child...and so he began to make a plan.
Thomas, meanwhile, rolled his eyes and decided to see if they could get their hands on a spare crane for when the inevitable happened.
...
Later that day, as he pulled some trucks along Tidmouth way, he whispered to the trucks. "Will you give me a bump when we get to the quay?"
This was a new experience for the trucks, as they had never been asked to bump a engine before. They giggled and chatted among themselves. "Driver doesn't know MY plan!" bragged Percy, and Carlin gave him a funny look.
"Oh **** this one needs some goddamn pills!" he snapped to the Fireman, who shrugged.
"On, on, on!" cackled the trucks. Percy, whom I believe we establish was a idiot today for whatever reason, believed that they were helping him.
"I'll pretend to stop at the station, then the trucks will push me past the board! Then I'll make them stop! I can do that easily." Every wise engine, and nearly all of the stupid ones, know that you cannot trust trucks. Especially when you have told the trucks to bump you. There was also another problem that Percy had failed to put into his plan, which will be revealed shortly.
"Go on! Go on!" shouted the trucks, and bumped Percy's driver and fireman off the footplate.
"Oh!" Percy was jolted, and began to try and brake. It was then that he remembered the first flaw of his plan, that he couldn't stop without at least a modicum of control from Carlin and his fireman. He slid past the board.
It was then that he realized the second flaw, as previously mentioned. "OH BALLS THERE'S NO STATION HERE!" He was frantic. "THAT'S ENOUGH! OH GODDDDD-GLUGGLUGLUG-"
It should go without saying that the glug glug was the sound of Percy sinking into the water. Carlin, for once lost for words, gestured wildly to the fireman in absolute bafflement, not that his fellow crewmember could provide any helpful insight into the mind of Percy.
Percy was sunk.
...
"You are a very disobedient engine!"
Percy knew that voice. At least he assumed that it was who he thought it was, being face down in the water was doing havoc upon his eyes. "Please sir! Get me out sir! I'm TRULY sorry sir."
"No Percy, we can't do that until high tide! I hope this teaches you to obey orders! Now, ferryman, get me back to the ground before I puke!"
"Yes sir!" A fish popped up and squirted water in Percy's eye. This was just the end of a lovely day for him.
...
"See, Percy, I feel like I should be saying I told you so about falling down things."
"OH SHUT UP THOMAS."
It was dark by the time anyone had brought cranes to rescue Percy. He was too cold and stiff to move by himself, so they dumped him on a flatbed and left him for the morning.
But what no-one had noticed was that in the background of this great palaver, there was a engine moving. A solid engine, with no funnel or dome, just a square body painted entirely in jet black. He looked at Percy, and grinned even more savagely than before.
"So-" he murmured softly. "-after all this time, you are still here. You seem to be settling in very well." Laughing to himself, he headed off towards a old haunt of his. For he knew his way around. After all, for a while this had used to be his home.
...
Next day, Percy was to be sent to the works on Henry's goods train. Percy had spent the entire night praying that it be anyone, even Gordon and James, rather than Henry. Obviously he had not been loud enough.
Henry had remained remarkably quiet until coupled up and ready to steam. "Well well well." he chuckled. "Did you like the water?"
"No." said Percy with as much misery as possible.
"I am surprised! You need more determination Percy! Water is nothing to a engine with determination." Henry smiled even wider. "You'll like it better the next time." And he started off.
Percy was quite determined that there would never be a next time.
...
"Sir Topham, the new engine."
Hatt smiled and ambled over. "Ah, good morning. I believe you are the experimental BR Class 08 Diesel shunter I ordered?"
"Indeed sir." The voice was deep, and practically dripping with honey and charm on it.
"Ah, good. The new coat of paint looks good. What's your name?"
The diesel smiled. "Well sir, if it's all the same, I'd like to be called...Diesel. I can't wait to get to work! I've heard so much about your...engines."
The Fat Controller could not escape the feeling that he had seen this engine somewhere else before.
...
NEXT TIME: THE DUCK AND DIESEL TRILOGY BEGINS.