Sorry for the delay, everyone. I hope the chapter's OK. Steamy one next so you can't be too upset with me... Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Not mine, not making me any money.

"Robin." He lifted his head from Bertrand's shoulder to look at him properly. "You said we'd talk about-"
"In ten minutes, I said-"
"It's been twenty-five. Robin, I know you don't want to talk about it, but it's important. What do you want to do about your family?"

Clearly, snuggling was no longer going to delay the awkward conversation. Robin supposed he was just going to have to face it... Or not. He pulled Bertrand closer and kissed him, hoping to distract him and pleasantly surprised when Bertrand didn't object to being wrapped in his arms. The vampire did, however, pull back.
"That's not going to get you out of answering." Robin huffed.
"Well, I don't know! What do people usually do?"
"People are usually taken off the streets, Robin, they're usually murdered. Some even have funerals before they wake up. You're something new."
"Can we... I mean, do you think Vlad would mind if we... got him to lift the mind-wipe?"

Bertrand thought about it for a moment.
"Well, I suppose he might – your sister already knows, after all."
"But they... they're still gonna get old and die and I'm not. Maybe I should just... not watch. I could have a funeral. I wouldn't be breathing or anything, all I'd have to do is lie still-"
"There are two problems with that plan, love."
"Are there? One day I'll get a plan right..." He sighed despondently. "Go on, let's hear them."
"Well, for one thing, you couldn't stay still if your unlife depended on it."
"Can too." Bertrand raised an eyebrow at him. "Look, I'll prove it." He flopped against Bertrand and concentrated very hard on trying not to move. "See?"
"Talking might give the game away a bit, Bran." Robin stiffened again, and he thought he was doing quite well until Bertrand wrapped his arms around him and began kissing his face, one hand trailing up his leg.
"Bertrand! That's not gonna happen at my funeral. Look, I can-"
"You'd burst into tears the moment the eulogies started. You might be able to pretend you've died, if that's really what you want, but no funeral. Not with a viewing, at any rate."

Robin huffed.
"Alright then, what's the other reason?" Suddenly Bertrand was looking at him with an expression of infinite kindness and love, and Robin was just glad he was still wrapped in those strong arms, because he had a feeling what came next wouldn't fill him with warm fuzzies the way Bertrand's tenderness did.
"Even if they think you're dead, you won't be able to stop watching them. You'll check up on them. You'll follow their triumphs and their failures and one moonlit night you'll find yourself standing by a gravestone and wondering what happened." Robin was about to ask how he could be so sure, but Bertrand shook his head gravely. "It was a long time ago. I only had one sibling, the line ended within two generations."
"My family... there are hundreds of us, we'll go on forever." He saw the problem. "And so will I, so I'll always watch." Bertrand nodded sadly.
"Probably. But I'll be here for you. Unless... it's not too late, Bran. You can still walk away from all this. I won't leave you, I'll stay with you as long as you want me-"
"Don't be an idiot." He kissed him, surprised by the tension in Bertrand's body as he threw his arms around him. "Are you alright?" Bertrand's eyes were wide, staring into the distance at something Robin couldn't see, and he backed away to give the vampire some space. "B. B, you're alright. Sorry." He seemed to come back to him slowly, glancing around the room as if to get his bearings.
"No, I'm... I'm sorry. I suppose I'm still a bit shaken." Robin patted his hand awkwardly and changed the subject back to their original discussion. "Could we just not mention the vampire thing?"
"You want to see them, don't you?" Robin nodded.
"Well, yeah, I mean if I'm going to watch them all get old anyway..."
"Then don't you think they'll notice when Chloe overtakes you in age? They already think I have some kind of secret beauty routine." He grimaced. "Your Mum spent an hour quizzing me about it last time we went round."
"Fog. Yeah, we're gonna have to come clean. They'll be fine with it, I'm sure. We need to ask Vlad if he'll lift the mindwipe."

"Hello, Mrs Branagh. Yes, it is. We're very well, tha- Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Actually, we were just wondering if we could drop round for a bit... Tea would be lovely, thank you, if you're sure. We thought maybe tomorrow afternoon? Are you sure that's alright? It has been a while, hasn't it? Of course we'd love to see the twins, if they do drop by. Well, I'd better not talk your ear off now, or we'll have nothing to say tomorrow. I look forward to it. You too, Mrs Branagh. Bye."

He hung up and glared at Robin.
"What's so funny?" The boy completely gave up on stifling his smirk and burst into unashamedly raucous laughter.
"You, on the phone. To my mum. You're just... priceless."
"I don't understand-"
"Your telephone voice, it gets so much more pronounced when you talk to my mum-"
"I don't have," he wrapped an arm around Robin's waist and pulled him close, "a telephone voice."
"You do," Robin protested, snuggling in nonetheless, "and now you're using your coffin voice."
"Mm, am I now?" He snapped out of it, though, as he remembered that they still needed to go and talk to Vlad before night fell. "Are you calling Chloe?"
"Yeah, I suppose." The younger man made no attempt to move out of his lover's arms, though, simply reaching out to snag the phone and dialing a number from memory.

"Chloe, it's your favourite brother! What do you mean, what makes me say that? Look at the competition. Alright, whatever, you're not getting anything off us for Christmas this year now. How are you, anyway? Yeah, we're alright. Better half is debatable-"
"No, it's not," Bertrand teased, nuzzling at Robin's hair, and from the way Robin rolled his eyes he knew Chloe had heard.
"You two bully me, you know. I should make a complaint. I don't know – whoever you complain to about siblings and four-hundred-year-old know-it-alls. Anyway, yeah, he's fine, but we're going over to Mum and Dad's tomorrow for tea and we thought maybe you could get yourselves invited as well. Mum says the twins might pop in and it'd be good to see everyone."

There was a long pause as Chloe said something on the other end of the phone.
"Up to something? No, why would you- hey!" Bertrand plucked the phone out of his lover's hand and took over.
"Alright, Chloe? Yes, we are up to something; no, we can't tell you what it is. You'll find out tomorrow, hopefully. We've just got to get clearance for something off of Vlad." Then, before she could ask any questions, he handed the phone back to Robin.
"I really can't tell you, Chlo. Just trust us, OK? And... well, we could use you there tomorrow, crowd control I guess. Yeah. No, we're alright, promise. Yeah. Yeah. Alright, see you tomorrow." He hung up. "You don't do it to Chloe, you talk like a normal person. What's so special about Mum?"
"She's your mum, Robin. A little respect never hurt anyone."
"Whatever. Suck-up. Let's go and see Vlad, yeah?"

In fairness, Robin supposed, Vlad had heard him out before he refused the request.
"No. I did that for a reason, Robin, I'm still not completely happy about Chloe knowing-"
"But things are different now. Besides, Chloe's fine with it, it's not like she's signing on with the undead or sharpening a stake. I'm sure Mum and Dad could cope with knowing vampires exist."
"And knowing you're one of them? I'm not sure this is what they wanted for you when you were a kid and they thought about your future."
"No, they wanted me to be happy. And Bertrand makes me happy, they know that."
"Even," Bertrand interrupted, "when I stop you sneaking around with Jonno making yourself ill?"
"Even then," he promised, turning back to meet Vlad's quizzical gaze. "I told him."
"And everything's alright between you two?"
"Never better," Bertrand's arm slipped around Robin's waist and squeezed gently. "But Robin doesn't want to lose his family. I don't want to lose his family. And I don't think they'd be too keen to lose him."
"Us." Bertrand glanced at him, confused, at his firm correction. "They wouldn't be too keen to lose us. You're..." He hesitated, but there was really no point skirting round the subject. "You're part of the family, B."

Vlad sighed.
"Fine. Fine, but I'm not sticking around to explain. I'll come in, lift the wipe, and then leave you to it. Alright?" Robin's face lit up.
"Thanks, Vlad, I knew you'd understand."
"I still think it's a terrible idea. When are we doing this, then?"
"Tomorrow afternoon. We were going to borrow one of the cars-"
"I'm driving, then." Vlad had a small fleet of cars with tinted windows; they'd be able to get close enough to just speed into the house. "Actually, we'll take two; then I can drive home and you still have somewhere to hide when they get the stakes out."
"That was a dream, Vlad."
"Still. Two cars. And Bertrand had better drive."
"You know I can't-"
"Neither can Robin." The Grand High Vampire found himself shrinking back from two fierce glares.
"Robin is a perfectly safe driver-" Bertrand began, at the same time as Robin retorted,
"Oi! I've got a licence."
"Oh, well," Vlad shrugged, "your terrifying rollercoaster of doom."