First off, I'm sorry for how long it took me to update but life's been busy as heck with weddings, births, birthdays, engagements, tests to be revising for and then relaxing whenever I could! It's almost over now though so updates should be back to their usual pace, sorry again for making you guys wait :(
Isa627 - I'm glad to have you as a new follower, hope you enjoy the rest of the story as much :)
Enjoy and as always, let me know what you think! Not that I deserve it!
"Lily Evans is the queen of everything and James Potter is a big headed toe-rag peasant." I tell the portrait of the cello playing, cigar smoking donkeys.
The password was of course Lily's doing much to James' disappointment/admiration…his idea of a good password was "I, Lily-pad Evans do hereby declare James is a sexy beast and want to bite his firm and luscious tushy."
Needless to say Lily got there first.
An hour later I'm dressed and Lily's just finished putting the finishing touches on my make-up.
My hair's wavy and tousled with two bits from by my ears plaited and clipped back - it admittedly looks better than it does straight and I'm dressed in a tight black vest top that covers my boobs nicely, it's tucked into silky navy shorts, with a sheer black lacy jacket to go over it. She's picked out ridiculously high black heels with a small red platform and a navy blue strap round the ankle. Lily's dressed in a short blue and purple dress what in the 90's is referred to as a go-go dress with her hair in a high ponytail and purple thick heeled platforms.
Even as an 80's baby who has spent her more fashion appreciative years in the 90's and many hours laughing at the previous decade's fashion sense, I can see she's bloody working it too.
It's amusing how both of our clothes contrast so much.
I've explained the meeting with Dumbledore to her as much as I could, simply saying that useful information had been sent back from the future that would help kill Voldemort sooner and that I'd be gone fairly often in the next few weeks to catch up on the information.
She absorbed my words quietly, asked if I wanted her company and accepted it when I said as much as I did, it wouldn't work out.
I genuinely want her company but the risk of her seeing something is too great.
"I can't get over the fact you have a common room to yourself." I mutter looking around at the smaller replica of the Gryffindor common room.
I don't want to talk about or think about reality right now.
I may have accepted it but I need a break.
The stairway that would lead to the boy's dorm is simply a door to Lily's room and vice versa for the one on the right being James's.
"I know, I wish I had a kitchen though."
"You'd never have to leave here except for lessons." I smile passing her the mascara to pack away.
Lily opens her mouth to respond but the sound of the portrait door opening diverts her attention.
No one comes in.
"Err, are you girls dressed?" Rik's voice calls.
"Yeah." We chorus and he enters.
Lily lets out a cat-call and I turn to see a rather sexy looking Rik.
"Looking very dapper, Mr Rik." She eyes his navy jeans and black shirt as he turns to smile at her.
His shirt sleeves are pushed up above his elbows to show his forearms.
His sexy, defined and slightly veinyforearms.
What is it about when a guy pushes his sleeves up?
"Next to you two I don't think anyone's going to be looking at me."
"You and Mia match!" She chirps.
It takes a moment for the words to sink in past my sudden uprising of lusty hormones.
Internally I squeak.
Externally I make some kind of disinterested noise that makes Lily glare at me.
"Well obviously Rik has impeccable taste in clothes." I grin at him. "Just like moi."
The glare intensifies.
"Oh, so I spent 20 minutes choosing your outfit and another half an hour on your hair and make-up and you get to take credit?"
I flash her a toothy smile. "Sounds about right."
"Brat."
"Ignore her." I tell Rik in a faux whisper. "Her gingerness makes her cranky."
She responds by throwing my shoe at my head…I can't be bothered to move out of its path therefore it hits its target.
"Could you pass the other one too?"
This time I decide to show off a bit and catch it one handed.
"Thank you." I say sweetly.
She tells me to stick it in a rather unsavoury place.
She doesn't communicate with me until half way up to the Room of Requirement when I have enough of trying to coerce her into loving me again.
"Fine, I owe everything I may or may not look like to Lily Elizabeth Evans who had the loving courtesy of picking out my outfit while I wasn't even in the dorm, knowing that if you have your legs out, your boobs stay covered and being able to toe the line between putting together an awesome outfit that looks awesome but not slutty enough to make James complain." I tell Rik grandly.
She sticks her dainty little nose up in the air snottily.
"She also did my hair and make-up without me even asking her to because that's how loving and wonderful and perfect she is." I add seriously to Rik and he nods looking suitably impressed without having to be told his queue.
"Magnificent, Lily. Seriously, getting Mia to stay still and stop whining about "girly bollocks" long enough to get all that done? That's really something."
What?
No.
"Oi!" I huff to their amusement.
"Exactly! Someone realises the nightmare that is getting this girl ready!"
"I do not complain that much!"
"Mia, you refer to my eyelash-curler as an eyeball-gouger."
"That's because it looks like it'd take the entire fucking thing out, socket and all with the clamping and the closing….no freaking tar, Mia will stick to mascara, thank you very much!"
Lily just sighs and gives up as we get to the seventh floor.
Guilt?
Really?
I look sideways at her and while she doesn't look annoyed I pounce on her hugging her from behind anyway bringing her to a stop.
"Thank you." I whisper and kiss her on the cheek.
"I'm not really mad at you, you know? We were only kidding."
Relief.
"I know. Thank you anyway." I insist, my chin on her shoulder as I turn my face to look up at her. "You're the best."
"Traitor."
Shut up.
"I know." She snarks, grinning. "You're stopping in the Head dorm with me tonight by the way."
"Heathen." I say as we separate to walk arm in arm.
I can't help but keep noticing Rik and how good he looks.
Seriously, I want to jump him.
What the hell is wrong with me?
We do a quick check over on each other before we go in and jokingly check over Rik too – although I'm more taking an opportunity to perv than anything else.
Although I do notice he has a really peachy bum.
I want to squeeze it.
"Oh, Mia heads up, James and Sirius are intent on getting you drunk tonight."
I love how she waits to tell me until after we've walked through the doors and James has already caught sight of me.
"Thanks." I inform her drily.
"Aaaye, Rik's arrived with the two best girls in aaaallll of the schooool!"
You wouldn't think that if you knew everything.
"Drunk already are we, brother?"
"Almost, lovely sister!" James replies grinning hugely unabashed. "Won't you join me in my merry inebriation?"
"No, but I'm sure Lily wouldn't mind and where is everyone?"
There's about twelve people here.
Not that I mind.
The less the better.
"Actually, some of us are taking our position as Head of the student body seriously." Lily eyes James disapprovingly. "You remember we've got first patrol tomorrow?"
"And I shall be there, oh, ye of little faith! People will start arriving any minute, it's only 7th years and maybe a few 6th."
"In what state is what I'm concerned about."
"Your concern for my well-being warms me to the cockles of my heart, dear Evans." He looks thoughtful for a moment. "Or maybe that's the fire-whisky…but my point's the same!"
"Don't get too full of yourself, I just don't want a headache from you complaining about yours."
"Alright girls?" Adrian greets us both with a hug and kiss on the cheek while we both answer in the affirmative. "Had a good holiday?"
We go to answer but he continues.
"How silly of me, of course you have! Fighting off Death Eater's, kissing each other, sleepovers, kissing each other…Rik, did I mention they kissed?"
Lily and I exchange amused glances while Rik just rolls his eyes.
"You don't believe me, ask them!" Adrian points excitedly. "They kissed! Sirius was there!"
"We hardly fought Death Eater's off and quit making it sound like the kiss was some weird sort of orgy." I complain. "It was just a peck."
"First of all, there's a little girl and her father who would disagree and second, hey!" Lily protests.
"Can we stop talking about this?" James whines.
"It was an awesome peck." I ignore him and the reference to the little girl and the man who turned out to be her father.
I could hardly have been any help without Sirius there.
"It was her first peck. One that lasted 12.5 seconds." Adrian says gleefully. "Your first kiss was from a girl."
Rik turns to look at us, surprised. "He's not kidding?"
"Nope, I took Mia's first kiss." I don't know why but Lily sounds insanely proud of this.
"So it's true?" Some guy I don't recognise asks. "I thought that was just a rumour. Ha!"
I turn to Lily. "You realise that his time tomorrow everyone's going to be convinced that we've embarked on some big affair."
"Some big lesbian affair!" Adrian rushes to add in.
"So are you?" The random guy asks.
He look so eager for the answer I don't think he even hears James' angry "piss off!"
Lily and I both roll our eyes.
I let her answer.
"No. Mia and I are both straight and the peck was just… a dare of sorts by Fabian Weasley."
Their disappointment is palpable.
Hahaa!
"Disperse away from my g- my sister and Lily!" James demands grabbing my hand and pulling me away.
I quickly grab onto Lily who grabs Adrians who grabs Rik we all kinda lead in a procession over to where Remus has saved us seats.
"Blame Sirius."
"I thought that was the natural response to when anything happens." Lily states sardonically, everyone chuckles but I notice Sirius' smile doesn't meet his eyes.
That's not like him.
He notices my gaze on him and stares me down defiantly until I look away uncomfortably.
"Are you drinking tonight?" Sirius asks loudly, his steely grey eyes still set on me.
I shake my head.
Have I pissed him off?
"C'moooon, we'll look after you!" James cajoles.
"You drank a bit on your first night here." Sirius adds.
Yeah and I had to stop because I almost had a panic attack as soon as I started feeling even slightly tipsy.
"I didn't like the feeling."
Plus my head's kind of a bit packed right now, I don't want to blurt something out or have a panic attack.
"You need to face your fears at some point." James points out. "When better than when we're here to look after you?"
"You're afraid of getting drunk?" Adrian asks incredulously.
"James, if she doesn't want to then leave her be. It's her choice."
"I don't want you to look after me, I want you to have a good night without worrying if I'm off somewhere taking my top off."
James and Remus look alarmed, Sirius however looks intrigued.
Definitely not drinking.
"Not that my top comes off." I add hastily.
Not technically anyway….just up.
It was just girls around.
And two boys.
But they weren't looking.
I think.
"I'm just saying that who knows what alcohol can make you do in the spur of the moment." I add.
They seem convinced.
Except Sirius.
"We'll have a good night without you pulling a disappearing act and leaving us all night for Rik." James states and immediately I feel bad.
"James." Lily scolds.
"Please?" He pouts. "I just don't want you to have any lingering hang ups if you can help it."
"Oh shut it, mate, you just want her to do something embarrassing so you can hold it over her head in the future." Sirius scoffs.
He nods instead of denying it. "That too. Look, Remus is being boring and you can even sit right here with Rik and not move like you usually do. Just do it drunk."
I don't want to.
Sirius walks over to stand by James and leans over me making me move back in alarm.
He leaves barely any space between us and brings his hand up with a shot in the middle.
"Neck it."
I don't want to.
"No."
"I dare you."
Those words don't have the effect it's have on a normal Gryffindor and Sirius can see that.
"No."
His eyes narrow.
"Lemme talk to you." James interrupts and pulls me to the corner.
"When you get back I expect you to stop being a sissy." Sirius calls.
"Do none of you listen to her? She said no." I hear Rik say.
"Yeah, let's just let her grow into having a phobia of something that majority of people do and she'll no doubt be around at parties and events because we're too fucking soft to push her." Sirius sneers.
"It's not soft when she's obviously trying to tell you she's not ready."
Oh noo…
"Remus will make sure they don't come to blows." James mutters offhandedly.
I think that was meant to assure me but it really doesn't.
Although I may be feeling slightly warm and tingly because Rik stuck up for me.
Merlin, I'm pathetic.
Rik takes that moment to turn away from Sirius and look over at me.
"You okay?" I mouth.
The anger on his face fades as he nods once. "You?"
I nod back.
"Mia."
"Wha- oh, err, yeah?"
His raised eyebrow tells me that drunk though he may be, that little conversation wasn't lost on him.
"If you're genuinely not ready for this then I understand but can you understand why we're pushing you?" he asks gently.
I nod.
"You don't want me to have to have a phobia."
James nods too. "You know how helpless those Death Eater's made you feel the night you were attacked?"
He takes my flinch as a yes.
"This is a 'fuck you' to them from you. They're not here and you are, so show them where to stick it by moving on."
"And alcohol will help me do that?" I ask drily.
"And overcoming a fear you've had since that night will help you do that."
Even drunk he wins.
"Do you remember that chat we had about you making sense?" I ask.
"Yyyyes!"
"I still don't like it."
"Tough."
"Ass."
"I'm a Potter, I might drive you potty, but you can't help but love me. It's what we do." He tells me with a big grin.
"Don't use my words."
"Tough."
As is usual with him, I can't help but give in.
I'm beginning to wish I had a bit of a backbone when it comes to them.
"Fine, but promise you won't all hover around me. You have to have fun tonight.
"Deal as long as you promise to come to one of us if it gets too much or anything."
"Deal."
"And your top stays on."
Maybe I shouldn't have blurted that out…
"Deal."
"Good. Shall we." He offers his arm grandly.
"We shall." Is my haughty reply.
We skip back to everyone else and I stand in front of Sirius who holds out the drink challengingly with a small smirk.
Infuriating bastard.
I think he expects me to back out.
I want to.
"I'll drink, I'll get drunk but I'll do it at my own pace." I tell him. "If I don't want any more then that's it and I am not going to drink to the point I throw up."
He doesn't move.
I eye the drink.
"What is it?"
"Tequila."
Great.
The one drink I hate.
"Salt and lemon?"
Sirius takes my hand surprisingly gently and pours a line of salt and passes me a slice of lemon. Maybe he heard the break in my voice.
"Neck it."
And I do, before I can change my mind.
And it's as vile as I remember.
I could do vodka.
I could handle Bacardi if I had to.
Firewhisky's alright.
I loved Sambuca.
I freaking hate tequila.
Lick the salt.
Suck the lemon.
Before I get my face sorted a flash makes me flinch again and laughter rings out.
Yes, I'm glad my discomfort amuses you bastards.
Remus passes me a bottle of butterbeer to wash the taste out.
"Thanks."
Over the course of the night I get steadily drunker and more and more uncomfortable.
I can see the boys' eyes watching to make sure I'm okay and I pretend I am.
Lily asks me at least once every half hour if I'm okay.
I pretend I am.
I keep having to stop myself from flinching every time someone so much as brushes past me.
But…I'm having fun at the same time?
At the times when I manage to forget my fear and get caught up in the moment I'm genuinely having a good time and it's confusing me.
I know that with the memories, we're a step closer to achieving our goal – I feel a it lighter than I have in a while.
I had forgotten one of the effects alcohol has on me...I'm horny as hell but right now it's worse than ever…I think I'm actually wet.
I'm literally frothing from frustration.
Lily and Marlene have made up, they're currently dancing away with two Ravenclaws, Sirius, James, Peter and Remus are holding a shot drinking contest that Remus is currently winning and I'm sat to the side watching.
James didn't insist too hard on me joining in seeing as the competition was basically whoever can last the longest without chucking up. Lovely.
I've pretty much danced with everyone I like and April and I even had a dirty pint chugging contest … I lost considering it tasted vile.
I've gotten boring.
Rik had gone off to talk to some short, pretty little Hufflepuff.
I don't like her, I've seen her around with a few guys since the party started.
I want to hit her.
Actually if we're talking about the things I want to do let's just come out with it and say I want to fuck him.
And then cuddle the shit out of him.
And then fuck him again.
Idiot.
My horniness seems to be focused on him.
Is Lily right?
The party's a huuge success, everyone's having laughing, the atmosphere's completely on point, the music's good – everytime an Abba songs comes on, Lily literally pops up out of nowhere and we dance like lunatics, there's constantly something to laugh at and be entertained by ad all the houses are presents but no one's kicking up a fuss.
Sirius was in charge of the music, he liked all Muggle bands like The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, AC/DC, Sex Pistols and even the occasional Fleetwood Mac song.
He'd also taken it upon himself to place enchanted mistletoe that traps you with someone until you kiss them for a minimum of 20 seconds pretty much every five feet.
Rather than take advantage of this, which I had assumed he would, he and Peter just lured unsuspecting random people under and laughed loudly at the consequences.
James has been trapped a few times, each time by Sirius, unknowingly or planned by some female.
"Mia?"
I look up to find a slightly blurry Adrian grinning down at me goofily.
"Come dance with me." He grabs my hand and directs me to the dance floors.
I can't dance but thankfully neither can he so we simply content ourselves by acting like complete bellends and finding it utterly hilarious.
"'t's working." He tells me.
I'm not that drunk but I have no idea what he's talking about. I don't get to ask as just then a very loud, screamy song by some group 'The Screaming Banshees' that's very big in this age and mine comes on ad everyone loses their shit.
I forgot about those annoying morons.
They broke up about a year before I came here, they had a tendency to pen very personal songs about Harry Potter, the Weasley's and his family.
The final straw came when they dedicated a song to Ginny, her "Weasley red hair, legs up to there and breasts that make men stop and stare."
Yeeaahhhhh, I didn't say they were original but it's safe to say after that, they weren't heard from again.
I also lose my companion as Aid jumps into the crowd and starts hip-thrusting here, there and everywhere.
I'm about to go and join him when a tap on my shoulder makes me jump and whirl around.
"Oh, hey." I greet Raj, one of Rik and Adrian's dorm-mates.
"You looked lonely."
I did?
How can someone look lonely while laughing at their lunatic friend gyrating his way across a dance floor?
"Can I get you anyth-"
"MIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"REEEEEMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" I respond in kind.
"I brought you two shots of Sambuca and the company of the CHAAAMPIIIOOOON!"
I love drunk Remy.
"If you don't mind crazy dancing as a substitute for bad dancing." Adrian jests having returned.
"Yeah, he's not kidding, I can't dance." I inform my Remy.
I down the shots and override my body's new natural response to throw it up knowing that the buzz that was fading is going to come back.
I'm a lightweight.
I dance with Remus and Adrian for several songs until Adrian does one too many spins and starts turning green.
I take him over to the only space available which happens to be next to Rik and the Huffflebint.
Great.
Adrian isn't the only one suffering either, my stomach is kind of twisting and churning plus I feel dizzy and panicky.
Ignore it.
I can't have one fucking night of fun and just be normal.
"You wanna sit down, Aid?"
"Nooo, the room's dancing and I'ma dance with it!" He sings, spinning.
Wow, drunk people are doofuses.
"I don't think – aaaaand he's vomiting."
All over the floor and people are just backing away.
And Remus is snogging a brunette who I notice is actually really hot on the dance floor.
Go Remy!
"M'bad." He mutters.
Vanishing the vomit I move to support him. "It's alright sweety, I'm going to sit you down. Do you feel like you're going to throw up again?"
"N'ye."
"Not yet?"
"Mmmm."
What?
I sit him down, manage to transfigure a plastic cup into something that sorta resembles a bucket for him to throw up in.
"Is he okay?" Lily appears next to the sofa.
"He went up against Remus in the drinking contest." I answer wryly to an "aaahh" of understanding. "Listen Lil, James is planning on not sleeping, Sirius is going to hook up with Emmeline, I think Remus is going to get lucky with whoever that is and Peter's currently over there cuddling one of the group's cling-on's so I'm going to take him back to this one dorm and keep an eye on him."
She goes to protest but my attention is on Adrian as he vomits again.
"You and Marlene have just made up." I tell her rubbing his back. "We've spent pretty much the entire holidays together and I don't want to take you away from the friends you've had for years any more than I have."
"Mia, you haven't-"
"I haven't intentionally, but you can't deny things have changed since I got here."
Her expression says it all and I just smile. "Spend the night with them, catch up with them because I seriously can't bring myself to leave him alone when he's like this and it's hardly a two ma- woman job."
She understands immediately.
There's no way in hell I'm going to leave someone drunk to fend for themselves.
"We'll make up for it tomorrow?"
I love her for understanding.
"You've got head girl duties, a meeting with McGonagall to discuss head duties and a study session planned, when do you plan on relaxing?"
More retching.
"And since when do we do anything but eat, talk shit, dance and sleep?" Lily asks sardonically. "If you're that worried we can skip the dancing."
"Are you sure you can cope with not teaching me your stup-" Her expression advises me to shut the fuck up before she cuts me. "Err, let James know what I'm doing so he doesn't flip a shit, I'm going to take him to be- errr, I'm going to put him to bed now."
"You don't have to leave, I can take him back." Rik speaks up.
Oh, and what about your Huffle-whore?
"That's alright, if I stay the boys will likely put me in the same state as him." I smile. "C'mon, you." I heave Adrian up with minimal help on his part.
The weight lessens as Rik grabs him from the other side. "At least let me give you a hand, he can get rowdy."
"YOU can get rowdy! KNOB!"
Rik doesn't bother replying other than to roll his eyebrows.
"If he gets too much I usually just stun him." He tells me once we've got out of the RoR and no longer have to shout due to the blaring music.
That surprises me, I can't picture him doing that.
We don't make it far before James and Sirius catch up with us.
"Anyone who wants to stay is spending the night in the Room of Requirement!"
"YEAAA-" Adrian cheers until we silence him.
"Hurry up before Filch comes," James tells me very intently.
Or drunkenly would be a better word.
"What about Aid?"
"Lily remembered she brought a bunch of Sobering Solutions, he can have some."
"James, he's been throwi-"
"Mia, we've been planning this for months, if he misses any part of this night he is going to be so pissed."
He's already pissed enough.
"Fine." I mutter, unhappy about it.
At least he won't be so pissed.
"You too, Rik!" Sirius takes hold of Adrian and James grabs me and Rik and marches us straight back the way we came.
It's another hour and a half before everyone who isn't going to stay the night or wants to hook up with someone first leaves – although many disappear into rooms within the Room of Requirement to get frisky, including Remus and his hot girl from earlier.
Naughty wolf.
Finally, we all settle into a circle – minus Remus who's probably still 'occupied' and with a just-about-managing-to-sit-up-on-his-own Adrian.
It's time for spin the bottle.
I've actually never played this and I'm not looking forward to it.
According to James and Sirius, the choices are truth, dare, double dare, kiss, snog, confess, command and promise. That sounded bad enough but you can't choose the same on twice in a row, if you choose truth, you have to put your finger between what looks like a clothes peg that Lily's enchanted so that it can detect lies and then answer, if you take longer than 5 seconds to choose between the option then the bottle spinner gets to choose for you and if you refuse to comply at any point or lie you have to neck 5 shots and suffer the default punishment which is to spend the rest of the night in your underwear and become a target for James, Sirius, Remus and Peter's chosen prank.
Oh and if anyone even mentions the attack in Diagon Alley, let alone asks questions about it then the boys have free reign to hurt, prank and generally humiliate them in any way they see fit too.
Now do you see why I'm not looking forward to this?
I'm not allowed to sit out either.
On the upside James had took me to the side to tell me he'd make sure no one asked any questions that I can't answer.
I'm sat between Rik and Lily, the latter of who is pissed despite her previous refusal to James.
I manage to make it over 15 whole minutes without the damn thing landing on me, the spinner's some sixth year Hufflepuff I don't know.
"Pick one." He grins, smiling evilly at me.
"Errrrrm…" It doesn't help that everyone's counting back from 5.
"5."
What do I pick?!
"4"
Shit.
"3"
Oh my God!
"2"
"Dare!"
"Oooooooooooh!" The group choruses.
I glare before looking apprehensively at the sixth year.
He's still grinning like a devil.
"I dare you tooooo…" He pauses his crow for dramatic emphasis "kiss Lily again."
That. I can do. I think, relieved.
I turn to look at Lily who's already grinning and wriggling her eyebrows at me.
Cheers erupt around the circle and neither of us can hold back the giggles in response and pull back to laugh after like 5 seconds of locking lips.
"You should've got them to snog, idiot!" Someone yells making the Hufflepuff look disappointed in himself.
Ahh well.
My first snog is still yet to be given it seems.
"Mia, your turn to spin the bottle." Lily chirps.
"Oh yeah."
I lean forward and wait while the bottle spin, spin, spins, ignoring whatever it is that's making Lily snicker from behind me.
It lands on her.
I turn suspiciously but she just shrugs.
I'm pretty sure she made it do that.
But then how could she with the entire circle looking in this direction?
"Truth!" She calls before the countdown can start.
"Did you like my kiss?" I ask cheekily winking at her once her finger's in the truth detector thing.
"Loved it." She sings winks back.
I can hear James' grumbling from here.
My bad, bro.
I don't pay much attention as Lily spins the bottle until she grins over at me again.
No.
Not me.
Behind me.
Rik.
Drunk Lily = no boundaries Lily.
It's safe to say my stomach's in danger of falling out of my ass.
"I suppose I may as well get the double-dare out of the way." He mutters eyeing her calculating expression warily.
I can tell from her expression she'd hoped for this.
I can tell from his expression that he's regretting his choice already. He was hoping she'd be nice.
Rik had already used up truth, dare and promise.
"I dare you to kiss the girl you have feelings for on the cheek before…wait, what's the time?...04.38...before 06.00am. You're not allowed to kiss anyone else on the cheek."
He stares at her for a beat and I move my attention to the ends of my hair.
I'm getting split ends again.
Does Lily know who he has feelings for?
Maybe I should get a trim…
Does he even have feelings for anyone?
He's going to kiss the Huffle-bint.
"Fine."
I refuse to acknowledge the ridiculous anger at the girl who's done nothing to me.
Other than to call her a Huffle-slut in my mind once more.
She's not good enough for him.
It's not that I have feelings for him, he's just hot and I have the hots for him. That's it.
"And your second dare is…" She pauses for dramatic effect with a truly wicked smirk on her smug face. "-that you-" she points to him…or rather a little to the side. "-have to kiss…"
Don't do it.
No, do it.
No, don't!
"Trudy."
Who the fuck is Trudy?!
Turns out that "Trudy" is the Huffle-hoe he currently has his lips on. The kiss is brief but the jealousy whirling around is making want to throw up and punch someone *Trudy-the-slut* in the face.
Ahh shit.
I think I have feelings for Rik.
That shouldn't have made me jealous…but it did.
Maybe it's just because I'm horny and she has a better chance of shagging him than I ever will.
"Mia!"
"What?" I look around at Sirius who'd called me impatiently.
"You have to pick one again."
You've got to be kidding me.
Someone's got to be hexing this.
I turn, slightly confused to Rik.
"4"
"What?" This time I sound more confused than pissed off.
Shit!
"What happened to 5?!"
"3"
"Dare! No! Shit!"
"2"
"Errrm, dar-fuck!"
"1"
I'm panicking so bad! "FUCK!"
"OUT OF TIME!" Everyone calls at the same time.
"FUCK!"
It's up to him to choose one of the options for me.
I'm at his mercy.
Please be nice.
"Promise." He picks quietly looking at me intently.
Oh God.
"Promise what?" I ask unsure if I should be worried.
What if he asks me about my past?
Or about why Fabian and Gideon really come as often as they do.
"I'll let you know later."
Several people protest but Remus points out –finally having come back about 5 minutes ago with his hottie - that it's not against the rules.
Rik's still looking at me so I just nod and spin the bottle again.
I figure life hates me as it lands on Alice.
Here we go.
"Confess." She says after a moment.
I don't say anything but simply wait with everyone else for whatever it is she wants to confess.
"I'm sorry for the way I treated you last year."
…
Oh.
That's not what I was expecting.
These past five minutes or so are proving to be very intense.
Or is that just for me?
She eyes a stony Marlene before continuing.
"You were new here and going through so much– the way we treated you was horrible and the fact it was for no reason is even worse."
Is this actually happening?
If it is then I'd rather it wasn't.
I kinda just wish I'd magically disappear and land in my bed.
I should probably do something other than stare blankly at her.
"-day by the lake-"
I don't want to talk about that.
"-I just want you to know that I don't think any of the things that I said or was said by the group as a whole. I think you're strong, you treat everyone with respect and those you love, you clearly cherish. No one can deny that. You caught up on the curriculum really fast and you never called us out on things a lot of the time even when you had every right to."
Frank puts his arm around her from next to her in silent support.
Am I supposed to say something?
Silence fills the room as I still kinda just still continue to stare at her as though she's sprouted wings and a baboon's bum on her forehead.
"I – I just wanted to say that I'm sorry." She says quietly. "Really, really sorry."
I don't feel thankful for her apology.
I appreciate the effort and pride she must've swallowed but I'm not affected either way by it.
At least this way I might be able to be somewhat in her life enough to be of help so that she and her husband aren't tortured into insanity.
"It's alright." I mutter awkwardly. "I appreciate the apology."
"It's alright." She almost whispers.
Err…
"It's er, it's your turn to spin the bottle." Is the only thing I can think to say.
Eventually the awkwardness fades and everyone gets back into the game and thank God the bottle doesn't land on me this time.
Eventually everyone gets bored of this game and moves onto a very drunken and expletive game of 'Never Have I'.
I don't like this game either.
I take a shot when Adrian yells gleefully he has never kissed a member of the same sex – although I notice all of The Marauders do.
I'll be asking about that later.
I take a shot when Remus declares he has never worn a pair of frilly knickers on his head in order to cheer up a pouting 4 year old with an injured knee.
I take a shot when Sirius decides to tell everyone 'Never have I worn a 34D bra'. Although thankfully Remus' brunette follows suit before we nod understandingly at each other because boobs are a pain in the ass.
My stomach's turning and I don't think I'll handle it when the effects settle in…
I reluctantly take another shot when Lily giggles that never has she danced around her living room with a lollipop stuck to her bare ass.
I take a shot and barely manage to keep it down when James calls out that never has he sang in the shower and tripped on a bar of soap.
I take a shot when Daryl calls out that never has he said he abandons the man she referred to as father of her twins.
I take a shot and glare at a snickering Lily when Peter calls out that never has he walked around with his knickers on backwards and only realised at dinner time and just about reject the rising vomit.
That's about the point I decide I've had enough.
It's stupid but I feel ganged up on, emotional and stifled.
Is this how Esme felt when we'd tease her?
Oh hello guilt, it's been a while since I felt you. Not.
"Mia's going for a walk before she embarrasses herself."
Not that they're not doing a fantastic job of that for me.
"It's late, I'll come with you if you want."
I don't bother replying, focusing instead on managing to stand upright and hope to God the room stops spinning.
I don't like this.
I don't like this.
I don't like this.
I'm drunk and I don't like it.
The panic is mounting and so's the anger at myself.
I really don't like this.
Rik opens the door for me and I remember that I owe him a promise.
Is he coming with me?
Is that why he's coming with me?
I don't notice Adrian wrestling James to stop him from coming after us.
Or Lily's and Rik's Hufflepuff friend's smug looks.
Or Marlene's glare.
"Thanks."
I walk carefully but casually wishing there was another Sobering Solution but everyone had used them so that they could stay conscious and carry on drinking.
Ridiculous.
Although if this was a year ago it wouldn't bother me in the least. I loved being tipsy. I loved being drunk. I loved having fun.
"You alright?"
"Hmm? Oh. Yeah." I mutter keeping my eye on the window I'm heading towards.
I need air.
I need somewhere to vomit without the guy I'm panting over being right behind me.
"Here." He hands me a bottle of the potion I wanted but had thought had been used up. "I know you're not comfortable drinking so I saved one."
What if it's not a Sobering Solution?
Why would he try to poison you?
It's Rik, you trust him.
"Thank…s."
I sip it warily. It tastes normal so I chug it back.
"Mia, do you want to go outside?"
Outside?
With you?
Alone?
Do I trust him enough for that?
"No, this is fine."
I figure I do trust him but it's dark and I don't want to be too far from the boys and Lily.
I think I'm going to be sick.
Please don't let me be.
I turn my head towards the window trying to get some breeze on my overheated face and not really caring how stupid I must look right now.
"Thanks." I say quietly turning to him when I wind my neck back in. "For the potion."
"It was nothing. D- do you want to go down to the kitchens?"
Yes.
No.
Why are you here?
"You don't have to babysit me, if you want to stay in there with the Hu – Trudy, I'll be fine. I'll be back in inasec."
The mention of food has the same effect it always has after I've had a drink.
I want something meaty and then something chocolatey.
And to pretend that I don't think I might have feelings for you until they go away.
"Trudy's fine, she's got her friends in there."
I don't say anything.
"I'm kinda hungry though if you want to come down with me?"
"Alright."
We walk down in silence.
My stomach is squirmy which at first I put down to the potion not having fully taken effect yet, but it gets worse when I think of Rik kissing Trudy.
It's obviously her.
He normally stays with me on parties but he's been stuck to her.
Without alcohol clouding my thought processes I note that my reaction to this isn't rational for someone who claims not to have feelings for him.
Maybe Lily's right and I'm being blind.
…But I don't want to have feelings for him.
I can hear Jamie's voice in my head saying "pull your head out of your ass".
My head is everywhere right now, there's so many situations and things to think about…I'm trying so hard to focus on whatever's happening at the present but it feels like a tug of war between each and every thing instead of being able to focus and my mood is somewhere between anger at Lily for pushing the situation like that, anger at myself for letting myself have feelings for someone when I have more important things to focus on, annoyance at the boys for pushing me to drink, annoyance at myself for not having said no, annoyance at Trudy for existing, anxiety about walking through Hogwarts in the dark, confusion about the sudden possibility that I may like Rik, annoyance because I don't want to, thankfulness that he came out with me, bringing the potion and wariness over the promise.
I decide I'm ignoring the fact he's going to be kissing some girl he likes to let her know how he feels about her.
Then again he might not and decide to take the default punishment instead.
If he does then I'll tell the boys to leave him be.
We're walking in silence through a third floor corridor when a crash followed by gleeful cackling.
We stop and turn to each other, seconds later it happens again but this time closer.
"Peeves."
"Quick, over here." He drags me over and we hide behind the suit of armour.
"You think he'll come this way?" I ask my voice barely a whisper.
"Hopefully no but-"
"But Filch and Mrs Norris." I supply grimly. "Great."
Another detention.
I don't have time for any more and if I miss any practises with Alastor he'll go off on one.
If I miss one with Dumbledore, he may think I'm not serious about all this.
I turn to Rik and smirk. "Run?"
His lips echo my grin. "Run." He confirms.
We run, thanking our lucky stars that we were only two floors up from the kitchen. We're almost there…literally one corridor away from the kitchen when Filches muttering and wheezing comes from that corridor.
He's headed right towards us!
"Quick! In here!"
For the second time in the space on five minutes he pulls me out of sight – only this time into a broom cupboard.
Interesting.
The fire lamp on the wall ignites automatically on our entrance.
The broom cupboard's small but not so small that he needs to be holding me against him.
I had a dream about this not too long ago.
Except in my dream I was more physically occupied with his body as opposed to wondering why he's holding me so close to it.
You know in movies when someone's really high up and they keep repeating "don't look down'?
Yeah, same except I'm telling myself not to look up either.
Don't look down, don't look up.
Don't look down, don't look up.
Don't look down, don't look up.
If I look down I'll be looking towards his penis.
If I look up I'm going to jump him.
If he had a boner I could totally feel it.
He doesn't.
I'm not sure if I'm glad about that or if I'm disappointed.
I want to kiss yo- actually no, I want you.
His arm's resting on my waist and his hands are low down on my back.
Did he do that on purpose or….?
No.
My hands are resting on either of his arms – and damn if I don't love it.
I know the exact moment he realises how close we are when he stiffens - his body, not his penis.
I wonder what he'd do if I came onto him?
Probably scream.
He moves back slightly.
"Sorry, I errr, I didn't think."
"I just smile and shake my head. "It's fine. Do you think he's gone?"
"I'll che-"
The proximity is still a bit much for my hormones so I step aside him, gently open the door myself, taking care not to make a noise and peek through the crack.
"No one to the right." I whisper and stick my head around to check the other side. "We're good." I smile and walk out.
Wait for it.
Wait for it.
Wait fo-
"I'm sorry about… in there." He begins as I knew he would. "I didn't – I-"
"It's alright."
"No, I know you're not comfortable when people touch you too mu-"
"I'm comfortable around you." I cut him off. "I didn't freak out, I wasn't uncomfortable and I'm not freaking out so quit treating me like I'm about to run screaming from you."
He doesn't reply.
"I'm serious, those kiddy gloves you're handling me with, you take them off."
Along with your pants.
The drunkenness may have faded…these hormones need to go too.
I think I'd actually rather deal with the panic.
At least then I wouldn't be tempted to embarrass the shit out of myself when he pushes me away.
"I didn't realise I was doing it, I'm s –"
"Nope."
"But-"
"No."
"Mia, if I made yo-"
"Arrrghh! How stubborn are you?!" I complain to his slightly alarmed face. "I'm fine, I trust you, I'm comfortable around you enough not to get freaked out because we basically hugged with the actual hugging and the kiddy glove thing may have been an over-exaggeration but I'm not going to spazz out on you."
By the time I've finished he's trying to smother a smile and holds his hands up.
"Okay, okay. I'm so- I get it." He corrects hastily.
"Good."
We begin walking again.
"Let's make a deal." I say after a few beats silence to keep walking towards the kitchen. "If I ever feel as though I want an apology from you, for whatever reason, I'll let you know."
"Deal." He grins. "Shake on it?"
We pause outside of the portrait of a bowl of fruit, Rik tickles the pear and steps aside to let me through but I pause frowning, a new thought coming to mind.
"Don't they ever sleep?"
Twinky comes to see me at any time if I'm awake when I'm at ho – The Manor.
"House elves only need about 3 hours sleep, even then they tend to have small naps here and there throughout the day so that they don't miss out on too much work."
"Oh." I frown.
Is that all they sleep?
Twinky does so much, does she get to have that much?
"Mia? You alright?"
"Yep." I smile airily walking into the kitchen.
He's right, there are still about two dozen elves bustling about.
How do they do so much on such little sleep and always be so chipper?!
"What can Lissy do for Miss Potter and her Mr…?"
"Hello Lissy, just call me Rik. Could I have a cheeseburger, curly fries and a coffee please?" Rik asks before I can correct her.
He's not my Mr.
He does have a good taste in food though.
And he's distracting me sufficiently.
"Mia?"
"Same but tea instead of coffee please. Ooh and a bacon sandwich too. With ketchup if that's okay."
"Same please."
Lissy bows and scurries off.
"Thank you." We call at the same time before smiling.
We sit in the comfy armchairs in front of the fireplace and rather large – width and length wise - coffee table and I subtly cast a charm to stop the heat of the fire from getting anywhere near me.
After the attack my aversion to fires has been a hell of a lot more potent.
"I think I want cake as well."
"I think I'll get a chocolate one." Rik agrees.
"Mmm. One of those warm, melt in the middle ones with a side of ice cream."
"Wouldn't that mean it's not cooked properly? Isn't -why are you looking at me like I just kicked your kitten?"
"You – I – you've never tried the melt in the middle chocolate cake?" I ask incredulously. "Wait, but you were there when Mum and I baked them and you guys stole them."
James had gotten clapped around the head from that.
I laughed and then did the same when I realised there were none left.
"James ate mine before I got to it."
I snort fondly. "You should know by now, when you have food around them, you eat it as fast as you bloody can…those boys are fiends. I swear he's pouted more chocolate out of me than favours to do with Lily."
"That much, huh?" He grins wryly, laughing slightly at my wide eyed, very serious nod.
"That boy's pout could get a nun to sell her soul to the devil just to make it stop." I shake my head. "And he damn well knows it.
And Remus is just as ba- no, actually, he's worse." I grin.
It's approaching that time of the month that he gets all grumpy and it kills me so I just ply him with chocolate, hugs and make sure he knows that if he wants to vent or sit in a moody silence, I'm available.
I'm sure he does it on purpose sometimes.
"I'm gonna get one once I'm finished with the meal, you can try it if you want. I can't believe he did that to you – no, wait we just established that I can, but still." I shake my head, smiling slightly.
I can literally just imagine the sneaky yet smug look on his face as he smuggled the goods away from Rik.
"You're fond of him." He points out rubbing the back of his neck.
"Remy?" I ask to confirm.
Rik nods.
"I love him." I state simply as Lissy places our plates and cutlery in front of us. "Thank you. He's the one person I know I can tell anything to without even the fear of him judging me."
"Oh."
"I always wanted a sister when I was little. I'd beg and beg my parents but they said one of me was enough…it's not until I got here that I realised just how amazing brothers can be.
And endearingly annoying.
And insanely protective.
And oddly enough, how often they will steal your bra to use as a bloody balloon sling."
Water balloons and paint filled balloons that is.
Those poor neighbourhood teens never even saw it coming and it was hilarious!
"Well, they're not exactly known for their quiet, relaxing natures." Rik replies, amused.
I chuckle. "No, I don't suppose they are."
And I wouldn't change it for the world. They're perfect the way they are.
We lapse into silence while we eat our food only talking occasionally, but it's not awkward this time. Several times I find myself unconsciously doing things like eating slower than usual to not look greedy, waiting until I've swallowed to talk and covering my mouth if he does say anything that makes me smile or laugh while I'm eating.
Get a grip. I think scathingly at myself as I notice myself brush my mouth for crumbs or a ketchup smear.
I'm not messy enough to smear food all over myself on a normal occasion and this isn't any different.
This doesn't even qualify as an occasion.
"Can I ask you something?"
I look up from the last bite of my bacon and curly fries sandwich warily. "Sure."
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah, the potion sorted my head and stomach."
I'm faced with a blank look before he continues. "I mean after the err, after the attack in Diagon Alley."
Oh.
Yet another thing I've now got in my head.
"M'fine." I mutter stuffing the rest of the burger in my mouth. He just waits until I've finished slowly chewing.
"I have a habit of saying the wrong things to you, haven't I?" he sighs more to himself than anything. "It's just, I – I was worried."
Oh.
We're all here in one piece." I shrug.
Just about.
I don't want to think about it right now.
Thankfully whatever he was going to say in interrupted when Lissy appears with the warm melt in the middle chocolate cake we'd been talking about sided with vanilla ice cream.
I can't even remember if we had asked for it yet but we thank her for it and wait until she's gone.
"Yeah, you are." He says, looking me over. "Were you hurt?"
"Nothing major."
My answer only serves to make him frown a bit more, but he doesn't push it. "I'm glad you're okay."
Bless him.
I think he genuinely cares.
"You and me both." I smile softly to make up for my slight stand-offishness. "Hurry up and try it so you can thank me."
"Merlin, are you always so demanding?"
"Do you always ninny about when there's chocolate cake to be eating?" With a mouthful of my first bite having momentarily forgotten that a part of me wants to impress him.
My response makes him laugh
His response to the chocolatey piece of heaven makes me smug.
He loves it.
I can tell from how his eyes widen slightly at first and he's now concentrating wholly on the cake and ice cream.
"Told you so." I tell him smugly.
Two more slices each later we both leave with bloated but extremely satisfied tummies.
"Merlin, I think Mum would ground me if she saw how much junk I just ate."
Rik smiles, his hand brushing mine as we walk.
My heart skips baffling me but I pretend not to notice and keep my hand where it is.
What the hell was that?
I can literally hear Lily's voice in my head. Well, that's what happens when you spend so long blocking what you bloody feel, you idiot!
I'm beginning to think maybe I do have feelings for him.
I'm always make an effort to speak to him, I like it as opposed to feel uncomfortable when he casually touches me in some way, I'm always aware of him, I care about his opinions, I notice little things about him, like around 9-10pm he starts developing slight stubble.
It's hot.
He doesn't like tea.
He's protective.
No matter how much I cast my mind back I can't think of why he seems familiar to me. I don't normally tend to remember faces but something about him – his eyes in particular keep bugging at me.
I note at least three times a day how amazing his eyes are.
Our hands brush again.
I know why I'm not moving mine but why isn't he moving his!
Maybe because he's sane and doesn't think it's a big deal.
He probably hasn't even noticed.
We make small talk, taking care to keep our voices low for any sign of Peeves or Filch as we walk back up but Rik gets increasingly quiet and withdrawn until we end up in silence.
We're not even half way up the stair case before I give up giving a shit on how I look.
"One sec." I tell Rik as I sit down on the step to take these stupid, bloody shoes off.
My feet are killing me.
"I don't know how you managed to make it this far in those things let alone run the way you did earlier." Rik states eying the shoes from hell.
"I forgot I was wearing them." I mutter as I'm one shoe down but struggle with the strap on the other one. "God damn it!"
His hand moves mine aside gently and he starts to de-whatever the strap.
I think my heart just about stops each and every time his fingers brush my ankle.
That's not even normal, they're bloody ankles! You'd think I'd been transported back into the Victorian times where a touch like that is the equivalent to him groping my boobs.
He can totally grope my boobs.
"Almost…I think. The hole's too small."
"Just what every girl wants to here." I snark without thinking and then mentally smack myself as his hands pause. "Ignore me, I get inappropriate sometimes. One of the effects of living with two boys. Well, three considering Remus is pretty much always at The Manor." I babble.
I am so stupid.
He manages to get the shoe off after a minute and conjures up a pair of fluffy socks for me.
"Thanks." I smile.
He doesn't return my smile. Hell, he doesn't even turn my way to notice it but mutters "It's no problem."
By now we're almost to the seventh floor – thank God for shortcuts! I think I'm going to get James to let me go to bed, I'm so exhausted I'm on my fourth consecutive yawn.
That and I don't think I'm ready to face the idea of having feelings for someone, it's hard enough being friends with people. Not that I think anything would come of it, of course, he has Trudy.
Just as we're about to walk out of the portrait covered shortcut Rik stops walking and blows out air. "Mia, I – I need to talk to you about something."
Did I say something?
"S- sure."
The narrow space between the small staircase we've just come up from and the portrait exit is dimly lit I can't fully see his expression to see if he actually looks as nervous as he sounds.
"Lumos. What's up?" I ask feigning nonchalance as though a thousand possible reasons as to why he's stopped us aren't running through my head.
"There's – I… I need to tell you something."
I watch as he rubs at the back of his neck frowning, I wonder if it's what he wants to tell me that's making him nervous or my reaction.
I'm a sane person, it's not like I'm going to freak out on him.
Hell, he's never seen me freak out.
"Okaay, go ahead."
I want to say something that'll put him at ease but I'm at a loss as to what to say.
"Right, well…err.." I don't interrupt as he struggles, hoping he'll say what he needs to get off his chest. "The thing is…" He runs out of stem and blows out air looking annoyed.
Is he annoyed at me?
I haven't done anything. I think.
"Forget it. Come on, James will be wondering where you've got to."
That's true. Actually, I'm rather surprised he's not followed us or come bounding out of some random nook or cranny scaring the bejeezus out of us.
He's done it several times…I think he enjoys it. Actually no, I know he does because he's admitted he does.
Goof.
"Rik?" He pauses with his hand reached out to open the portrait. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"
He hesitates for several seconds before turning, face expressionless.
"You've gone out of your way several times to tell me the same and it goes both ways. Whatever it is you want to tell me, I'll listen to you."
He turns and I dither with my hand in the air before putting it on his arm.
"If you need to talk, we'll talk, if you want advice – well, I'm not all that good with advising and stuff but I can do my best - whatever you need."
I can't put a name to the expression on his face and his silence is making me nervous.
He sighs and rubs the back of his neck. "You know the dare Lily gave me?"
"Yeah." He goes to talk but I finish my sentence. "To kiss Trudy."
He begins nodding before blinking and shaking his head. "Yeah, wait, no. To kiss the girl I have feelings for."
Potato, pot-ahh-to, quit rubbing it in.
There's nothing to rub in.
Stop being a drama queen.
Wait…does that mean Trudy's not the one he has feelings for?
"Yeeaah?"
"And that I couldn't kiss anyone else on the cheek?
"Yeah."
My repetition seems to be annoying him…or putting him more on edge, I can't tell which – maybe both.
"You remember I said I'd get back to you on the promise?"
Nod.
"I ne- I need you to promise not to freak out on me before I can explain."
That makes me frown, confused. "Why would I freak out?"
I gasp.
I get it!
It's not Trudy and it's someone he thinks I'll freak out over so it's Lily!
I'm protective over her and don't tend to let guys near her. Guys that aren't the ones I know and trust anyway.
"You fancy Lily!" I point at him accusingly.
James is going to be pissed.
That's why he doesn't want me to freak out.
I think for a second and try not to show that I'm completely gutted when his shocked expression gives me all the confirmation I need. "I g- I getet why you'd think I'd freak out, because I completely believe she belongs with James – not that you're not good enough for her because you're one of the few – well, four guys that I actually think is good enough for her but yeah. Are you going to tell James, I don't think that's a good idea but it's up to you. I won't let him prank you, I sw-wait no, then why would she make you kiss Trudy? Unless she doesn't know that-"
"It's not Lily!"
"-you like –wait, it's not?"
He shakes his head and now I feel kind of dumb.
And wholly relieved.
"Oh. Then why would I freak ou- wait."
Oh dear God no.
"It's not Marlene is it?" I ask kind of scared. "Because I know I don't think anyone's good enough for you, but seriously? You deserve so much more."
"It's not Marlene." He smiles, soft again.
"Alice?"
He shakes his head.
"Emmeline?"
"Mia, stop." He laughs slightly.
I get the impression he's trying to sound less nervous but his laugh sounded a bit strained.
"Well, what are you telling me that you think would freak me –wait." I looks at him and tilt my head.
I hadn't considered this possibility.
"Is it Remus?" He looks startled. "Or Sirius or James? Because that wouldn't freak me out, infact I had a gay friend back at home…I didn't like him very much and I used the term friend lightly back then, but that's more to do with the fact he was a bit of a twat."
I miss him.
"Mia, I don't have feelings for Remus."
"Oh."
"Or Sirius or James."
Well, I'm stumped.
Unless it's someone Sirius is shagging.
"Should I stop guessing and let you talk?" I ask sheepishly.
"Not that you're not entertaining but yeah, please." He smiles slightly.
I don't think I want to know who it is he has feelings for because I think I might be jealous.
I already know he can do better than her.
"Well even if I sounded a bit crazy, at least I made you smile again."
My response brings out that genuine, eye-crinkling smile on him that makes me melt.
How did I not realise my feelings sooner?!
Now that I've noticed it strikes me again how obvious it is.
He leans forward about a foot but then moves back, cursing under his breath. "Promise me you won't freak out?" He eyes me nervously.
I nod.
"Say it." He urges.
"I promise I won't freak out." I oblige feeling more nervous by the minute.
He doesn't move or say anything just watching me carefully while I stand waiting for whatever it is he wants to say.
He leans in gain but this time he doesn't go back when he hesitates, he kisses me gently on the cheek.
He smells really good…and familiar.
Unlike most guys he hasn't smothered himself in cologne, he smells clean, soapy and kinda…musky.
I get a waft of strawberry as he moves back from the strawberry laces that he seems to consume like air. I'd bet Mr Moose that he's got some in one, if not two of his pockets at least right now.
"Mia?"
I start out of my little daze. "Mmm?"
God, he didn't notice my little zone out, did he?
He looks at me again in a way I can't quite decipher…almost as though he's bracing himself for something.
Did I say something stupid out loud?
"I ju – I just kissed you." He tells me slowly. "On the cheek."
Riiight.
"Yyeeeeaaahhh..."
Why's he telling me what's obvi-
It hits me like a freight train.
Rik just kissed me.
On the cheek.
My cheek.
His dare.
He kissed me on my cheek.
Did he forget he wasn't supposed to kiss someone else and is being friendly?
"Yo- your dare."
He nods.
He remembers?
"You kissed me?"
He nods again looking nervous again. "Are you freaking out?"
"Di- … did you mean to?"
"Kiss you?"
I nod once.
"Yes."
My eyes widen.
"Me?"
"Yes."
"Oh."
I don't get it.
"I have feelings for you."
His words reverberate in my head while I stand there in sheer disbelief.
Since when?
Why?
How?
"I thought that…maybe I did when your – errm, Mr and Mrs Potter came back from their trip the day before everyone came back from the Christmas holidays and I ahh, I knew for certain on your birthday after you left for a few days. I- I don't know what to say about the why, there's loads of reasons. You're strong, funny, caring, I love spending time with you, you make me smile, you're genuine –"
I'm not even certain I'm taking in his response to what I thought were my thoughts.
He kissed me.
He has feelings for me.
"-f the best people I've ever met."
Silence.
"I don't expect anything from you. Y-you can even forget I said this and we'll go back to normal, I just needed to tell you and Aid and Lily have been on at me for months to do so as well. Ahhh… Lily said you were ready to hear it but if you're not then we can take this anyway that's most comfortable for you. I – it's…" He trails off before pinning me with a frustrated, searching look. "What are you thinking?"
I'm still trying to process that he has feelings for me of all people.
On the upside I was looking for a distraction to focus on…I'm focused…sort of…mostly confused, but still.
It's hard to believe that he likes me.
At least Marlene was pretty…she had something going to her.
"Is this a prank?" I ask quietly, finally having found my voice and look at him. "Did someone dare you to prank me, or are you doing it for a bet or something? I don't understand…I – it doesn't make sense."
"No! Mia, of course I'm not. Why doesn't it make sense?"
Because guys like you don't have feelings for me.
"It just doesn't." I whisper.
He approaches me slowly and places the tips of his fingers on my cheek gently. "I'm not pranking you, I'm being 100% honest. It makes perfect sense."
It doesn't.
I want him to kiss me but at the same time I'm suddenly terrified of him doing so.
Where would that leave us?
Where are we now?
"Are you processing?" He asks.
I'm trying. His proximity isn't helping.
This is too fast…I'm still trying to get my head around the fact I have feelings for him.
I just realised I have feelings for him…it's happened too fast.
"You have feelings for me?"
Alarm and acknowledgment that I'm a giant idiot flows through me.
"Shit! Ahhh, maybe I should've let that go, I know you think aloud sometimes. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed that."
I said that out loud?
"I said that out loud?"
He nods.
"Tha-that I-I… have errr, have the- have f-feelings for you."
He nods again.
Oh.
I swallow.
"I only just put it together th…it hasn't – I mean that – I knew I was attracted to you bu- I hadn't even thought that…"
"You've only just realised yourself?" Rik supplies gently.
I nod.
"Do…do you need some time to process and…think?"
I want to say yes…but I don't want to be stringing him along for any amount of time.
"Just…give me a minute."
I let it sink in as much as I can and let some rationality sink back in.
"I take it Aid's told everything I said when he'd question me?"
Guilt flashes over his face. "I told him to stop that…but I didn't stop him from telling me everything either."
"Did he tell you everything?"
"That you don't want to get into a relationship because it couldn't continue after graduation and you don't like the idea of seeing someone casually."
I haven't changed my mind about that.
"I understand that and I won't press my feelings or what I want on you." What you want? "So, for now how about we carry on like the friends we are until you've got your thoughts together and then we'll talk properly."
Despite everything, all the confusion, disbelief and slight paranoia, I feel warm and butterfly-ish in my stomach that he understands I need time and that he still wants to be friends even though my reaction probably wasn't the best.
"Shall we get back to the Room of Requirement before James starts to think I've kidnapped you?"
"Pardon?" I start out of my thoughts. "Oh, yeah. Yeah, okay."
Honestly all I want to do is go to bed but I follow Rik out of the portrait exit and to the end of the corridor. He paces and brings the door to us and I put my hand on his arm to stop him before he opens the door.
"Thank you for…getting it." I say stiltedly, trying to think of the right words. "For not pushing me and…and saying all the right things… I'm sorry I -I couldn't react like a sane person."
"You are a sane person, just ask Fabian." His response makes me blink, smile and then laugh slightly. "At least I made you smile again."
It takes a moment for me to recognise my own words and I can't help but smile again. It's at this point that I know for certain I do have feelings for him.
I have feelings for Rik.
"You don't ned to thank me or apologise to me for anything, alright?"
I don't bother replying to that sentence. "Hug?"
I'm surprised I said that…had I thought about it first I'd have held it back but Rik smiles at me and leans in. My arms go around his neck, his go around my waist and while it starts off light we both kind of hold on tight after a second, I can't help but to bury my face into his shoulder, facing his neck.
When we pull back I kiss him on the cheek gently.
"Shall we go in?"
He blinks several times when I talk and then nods. "Yeah. Yeah, let's go in."
We open the door and walk in together only to be confronted by James' voice before we even see him in a big pile up people.
"About bloody time! I was about to send out a search party for my kidnapped sister!"
Rik and I exchange a smile at his predictableness.
"Now come on, we're seeing how many people we can pile on top of Petey before he wakes up!"