I'm a little speechless that Mick would find and rescue me. Maybe he doesn't hate me.
"Celeste, answer me." He says at my silence. I glance at him, feeling a little nervous.
"You're angry with me." I say with unintentional sad eyes. Mick goes to answer, but when he looks into my eyes, nothing comes out of his mouth. His expression softens and he takes a deep breath before answering.
"Yes, I'm angry. I find out I'm immortal and just as I look for answers, you disappear. Then I have to get you out of that place and…" he says, letting his sentence fall. He glances over at me again, but this time I look outside the window. My avoidance adds to his silence before he continues. "What happened in there?" Mick asks, his voice soft with empathy, realizing that this might be more important than what had happened to him.
I can't answer.
"Celeste, talk to me. I know something happened. You're not yourself." He adds and I snort.
"Do you know me?" I ask and he's silent for a brief second.
"Enough to know something's wrong." He says and keeps glancing from the road to me. I sigh and skim through the details, deciding that I can't keep being afraid of rejection.
"The seer said she knew where to find the book of the Moirai. It was lost after Atropos' vessel vanished. However, she wanted me to give her back her youth. Once I got to the hospital, I was unaware of the spell she placed on the damn building. Once in, I was trapped. The only way out was to kill her and I did." I say, keeping my gaze away from him. He's silent for a moment, which makes it awkward.
"Alright." He says, just like that. I glance over at him, a little stunned.
"That's it?" I ask and he looks over at me, arching his eyebrow.
"It explains why you were there for eight days; tricked by your guilt, trapped by a spell." He says and I look away, a little too fast I think. "There's more?" He asks and I bite my lower lip; yup, I looked away too fast, a sign I'm hiding something. Damn. "Again you withhold information from me." He says, as if talking to himself. I'm beginning to think Mick really hates being left in the dark about things he should know. I can't blame him, he probably was left in the dark all the time with the British Men of Letters and he probably hoped I wouldn't be like them. "What happened?" He asks and I take a deep breath. Maybe I should just tell him everything. If we're going to be connected because of me resurrecting him, then we should try for a good relationship, open communication, and all that shit.
"The seer's spell cut off my communications with Clotho, so I had no idea how to make the seer younger. She tormented me with nightmares and she hurt me. I had to summon the original Clotho, the first true vessel of the Moirai, and I tricked the seer. I killed her. That was a couple of days ago. I didn't keep count." I reply and Mick is silent. I can't look at him for some stupid reason.
"You broke the spell, yet you stayed? In isolation? For a couple of days?" He asks and I know that he knows that I'm not telling the whole truth. Damn. Well, I certainly can't tell him that my dreams of him throwing my ass to the curb with hatred is what drove me to isolation; my pit of self-pity.
Mick slows the car and pulls it over, putting it into park. I look over at him and see this softness that makes me want to tell him everything, just so I can curl up in his arms to cry. I so badly need to do that. I think he sees that because he goes to look ahead, but stops himself.
"Why did you ask to be isolated?" He asks, so empathetic. I twist in my seat and when I look at him again, feel like I'm going to cry. So I quickly make an escape.
To the back seat.
Yup, I'm a coward, but at least I'm not teleporting this time.
"Where are you going?" Mick asks and then my legs sort of get stuck. He helps me and I crash in the back seat, certain that he won't look at me like that, making me want to cry. He sighs, opens the driver's door, closes it and opens the passenger door, getting in with me.
Damn.
I go to sit up front, but he blocks my exit with his arm, then locks the doors with the remote he detached from the key that remains in the ignition.
Damn.
He's too good.
"Celeste, stop running from me. Please tell me. I'm listening." He says and tears begin to flood my eyes, threatening to fall. He places a hand on mine and I crumble. I begin to sob and I turn to him, inviting myself to cry on his shoulder, whether he's comfortable with it or not.
I fucking need this.
Then he hesitantly wraps his arms around me in a comforting embrace which makes me cry more, but with relief.
"I deserved to be locked away in isolation." I say, my words barely audible over my sobbing.
"Because of binding the Moirai to your cousin and her friend? Because you resurrected me as an immortal?" He asks and I shake my head. It's part of it, but it's Emily. I'm still having a hard time believing I did the right thing. Since accepting Clotho, what good have I done? Any good has hints of bad. I brought Mick back to life only to screw his life over with a lifespan of forever.
"I killed my friend." I say and he listens, waiting for me to continue. "She asked me to help her die. She knew I could. She wanted to end her life, unable to tolerate her mental illness. I had to change her fate. She died in her sleep. I didn't want to kill her." I add, crying, pretty much soaking the shoulder of his trench-coat with my tears.
"Although it's hard to end someone's suffering, you mustn't blame yourself. She trusted you." Mick says, rubbing my back as I feel his breathing against my chest. I can even hear his heart beating if everything is quiet.
"I was so scared. The seer twisted my dreams into nightmares. Everyone hated me. No one wanted me around. It hurt so much." I say and his arms tighten around me and then I feel his hand on the back of my head. "I thought you'd hate me." I conclude. It's all I can say. I don't know how much he'll understand how much my heart broke, how my confidence has been shattered. I don't know how that makes him feel. Maybe nothing.
"Why would I hate you?" He replies after a small moment of silence. "I may not be pleased, but I could never hate you." He says and I clench my eyes shut, feeling a load of pressure lifting off my shoulders. Clotho was right. "No one hates you." He adds, softly, like he's just saying that to comfort me, thoughtlessly.
I pull back and look at him, unimpressed. He gives me a twitch of the lips, like he'd like to smile, but feels it's inappropriate at the time.
"No one? Try Amelia and Lindsey." I say and put myself back in his arms, not ready to put an end to our embrace. It feels so good to share my pain and have someone hold me. Mick puts his arms around me again, no back rubbing or head holding this time.
"Do not mistaken their self-pity as hatred for you. They hate that you bound the Moirai to them. As it turns out, once the essences of the Moirai are within you, there is no –" he adds and I say the word before he can.
"Extracting the essences." I say and he's silent. "I can't see your future, being an immortal and all, but I can always see your past, even if it's yesterday or an hour ago. I'm sorry, there's no privacy with me." I reply and I feel his hand on the back of my head, his cheek pressed against my head. This feels so fucking good. However, I know something that might make him feel good.
No, not sex. Although I hope that's in our near future.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I didn't know how to tell you." I say and make a mock example. "Hey Mick, welcome back to life! Guess what, you're immortal. You can do all the things you could before, just not the dying part. Oh, and you can still suffer from infections, contract illnesses and all that fun human stuff. Are you ready to kick some butt as a non-indestructible guy?" I add and he laughs a little. We remain silent and despite my enjoyment, it's getting a little awkward.
I pull back, wiping my eyes. Mick pulls his handkerchief from his breast pocket, handing it to me to wipe my eyes. I'm guessing this is the only reason guys have these on them, the epidemic of crying women. It's pretty thoughtful, actually.
"Thanks, Mick." I say, keeping my gaze away from him. He shifts a bit and when I look over at him, he takes off his trench-coat. He mustn't like having my tears on his coat. But, I'm wrong when he somewhat puts it on my back.
"You should rest." He says and I give him a sad and somewhat content smile. "We have a long way back." He adds and sort of returns the smile before opening the door, getting out, closing it and getting back in the driver's seat. He waits for me to make myself comfortable, and then he puts the car into drive.
I don't even know at what point he started accelerating because I had fallen asleep.