A/N: Part 2 of the truth amnesty. Hello to all the new followers of the story too, hope you guys are enjoying it. Thanks to firefrog25 and Librarybook for the reviews as usual. I love waiting for the reviews to come in after I post - it lets me know there's someone out there :-)

"Shit, I knocked a glass of water over in your room. Sorry, I was on my way to clear it up. Lemme get a towel." Alex ripped some paper towels off and headed back to start mopping up the mess.

Piper followed her to the bedroom and walked to the bed, crawling under the covers, so ready for some sleep by now.

"Mmmm, sleep….Help yourself to a shirt." Piper closed her eyes and curled up, signalling she was done with talking.

Alex stood for a few moments awkwardly lingering by the side of the bed, before heading to the bathroom to get rid of her make-up and change into one of Piper's grey College tees and a pair of shorts. She came back to the room, feeling suddenly awkward about getting into bed with her ex. She had wanted to sleep in the same bed when Piper was staying over at Christmas, but that was when things seemed simpler. Piper had run out on her only a few hours ago after a particularly stormy conversation that had barely started and there was still a lot to talk about between them. For now, Alex took some solace in the fact that Piper had returned and was speaking to her still, both of which she hadn't expected if she was honest. She lifted the covers gently and slid into the bed softly, careful not to wake the sleeping blonde who was facing away from her. She turned onto her stomach and faced away from Piper, knowing that facing her would be too tempting to reach out to her as they slept. It took a long while for Alex to find sleep, but the sound of Piper's regular deep breaths next to her eventually lulled her to close her eyes.

XXXXX

It was after 11 when Alex was aware that her phone had been ringing on and off for about half an hour in the other room. She turned to see that Piper hadn't moved at all and was still curled up facing the window and sleeping soundly. Alex carefully climbed out of the bed to get her phone in the lounge. There were 7 missed calls from Polly and a voicemail. She called her without even checking the message to see what was so urgent.

"Finally! I've been calling you all morning!"

"Er, hello. What's the emergency?"

"Have you seen Piper? I was expecting her to be in the shop with me this morning and she's not picking up her phone. She's not supposed to be on her own…."

"Shit. She's at her apartment, I'm with her don't worry."

"Great that she's OK, but next time you two are overcome with lust can you at least send me a text to let me know? I nearly had the cops out!"

"It's not like that, we had a fight last night."

"About what?"

"She knows it was me who turned her over to the Feds. She ran out on me and didn't come back until 4am."

"Damn…..How is she?"

"Asleep right now, but she came back and I'm still here."

"Do you still think it's a good idea being back in her life? She's changed a lot since you guys were together and I can't run around cleaning up the mess around running this store on my own at the moment."

"I know what you're saying….And maybe you're right. It's complicated. But I need to find out. We need to find that out for ourselves. I'll ask her to call you when she wakes, OK?"

"Alright. Don't do anything stupid Alex. I don't think she's as over that attack as she's making out and…she's got….history…of doing crazy shit."

"I won't."

She hung up the phone and put some coffee on, sighing deeply as she leaned on the counter. She'd never put up with Piper's tantrums in the past because she didn't have time and because she didn't have to deal with any arguing for more than a couple of days when she was home before she was on a flight out of there. Piper would usually cool off with the distance between them and things would go back to normal again. Guilt was making it different this time. Guilt was making her humble and making her grit her teeth to confront their shit. It was new for both of them – blowing up and sticking around to work it through. Only now, Alex was acutely aware that Piper was covering up a lot of her past, her emotions and was a lot more guarded generally than she had ever known her to be.

She poured a coffee and went back to the bedroom to find Piper was sitting up in bed when she returned.

"Hey, did I wake you?"

"I heard you talking in the other room, but I was already waking anyway."

"It was Polly, just checking you were OK. She was expecting you in the store this morning."

"Ah…yes, forgot I'm not a lady of leisure anymore. Was she pissed?"

"No, just worried. I said you'd call her later. Do you want a coffee? I just made one."

"Not yet thanks."

"Can I sit down?" Alex was hovering again with her coffee.

"Yeah."

Alex put her mug down on the bedside table and sat against the pillows, bringing her legs up to cross them in front of her before reaching to pick the mug up again. The silence was thick between them suddenly and Alex was punctuating it with her frequent sips from the mug, more for something to do than because she was thirsty.

"Piper?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we talk about last night?" Alex was looking into her mug as she spoke.

Piper sighed heavily, as though she was annoyed by Alex bringing it up.

"Is there any point? What's done is done. We can't change the past by dragging it all up." Piper was trying to appear to be matter of fact, but there was still annoyance beneath the words.

"Honestly? There is every point in talking about it. You've not given me a chance to explain anything before damning me to Hell last night and I think the least you can do after I waited for you to blow off steam is to listen to my reasons."

Piper didn't say anything, so Alex continued.

"I didn't take any of the decisions I made lightly Piper. I didn't ask you to carry that money without knowing without doubt that I didn't have any other options. I didn't turn your name over to the Feds without knowing there was no other option for me either. I would never willingly hurt you, no matter what has happened between us. Please know that above all else."

There was still a stony silence emanating from Piper. She wasn't even looking at Alex as she spoke.

"Do you hate me?"

"…No." Piper didn't look up from her position.

Alex swallowed hard and drank her coffee, thinking what to say next.

"I hate that you weren't punished like I was punished. That's quite the fucking revelation frankly….. At the time, when I thought you turned me in and assumed you had already been sent down - I tried to hate you, at first….But I had a lot of time to think about things and there was more time than there was hate…And also, I learned to accept that I had committed a crime and I was being punished for it. I knowingly committed a crime and the law brought me to account for it."

Alex could sense the anger again and thought it best to let the blonde say what was on her mind while she was in the sharing mood. It was better than her running out as at least she could understand where her head was at with this. After a while, it was clear that Piper wasn't going to continue.

"Can you forgive me?" Alex whispered, knowing she was asking for something so big it could be understandably refused.

Piper stood upright and walked to look out of the window by the door before responding softly. "Forgiveness is something I can only consider when I understand why you did it…Was it to get me back for leaving you in Paris?"

"No Piper. I could never do something like that to you out of spite or revenge….. Please know that….Will you sit with me and hear me out? I'll tell you anything you want to know, I promise." Piper sat back down on the bed, mirroring Alex's cross-legged position now.

"I drank a lot after you left, but the hangovers and missed days were no good for my work. Plus it made me more miserable, so I ended up using the stuff we were supplying. Just a little at first to pick me up and give me a buzz when I was out with mules…I….got involved with a couple of them and started taking more….Too much… and I got careless. I was completely out of it one day when the hotel room I wound up in got busted by the cops. The girl I'd been with got out and left me there. The cops were just responding to a complaint from the neighbours about the noise, so it wasn't even a drugs bust…" The irony wasn't lost on Alex that something as innocuous as a noisy hook up ended up being the frayed thread that caused everything to unravel.

"They weren't even going to take me in for processing because they couldn't be hassled with the paperwork for a druggie when all they wanted was to bark out an order to pipe down and be on their way….I could have taken a rap on the knuckles for noise and been left to sleep it off, but something inside me saw an opportunity on my doorstep. So I told them I had information that would interest them about a drug cartel."

Piper was surprised to hear Alex saying she had volunteered information about the cartel to the police when she'd gone to great lengths over years of working with Kubra to hide all manner of illegal dealings. She shuddered to think of what Alex might have seen or ordered in her years working for Kubra, glad to have been shielded from that by Alex.

"When was this? Recently?"

"Um, maybe 6 months after you left I think….They made me get clean while I carried on working for Kubra and I had to basically work for them and help them build a case. It took them a year to finally get what they wanted…A year of living in constant fear of being found out….I've seen what Kubra did to people if he even suspected they were ripping him off or thinking of leaving. It was an awful existence, stabbing people in the back who had been my friends in a ruthless business for years and knowing the cops would drop me in a beat if I became compromised. I gritted it out because I saw a legitimate possibility of being able to leave the cartel and that was the only thing I could see that might make you want to be with me again. I lived on coffee and adrenalin for that year, always sleeping with one eye open and letting nobody get close. Kubra thought I was over you and now extra-committed to my work, so he was more than happy when profits were increasing as I worked harder than ever to pull off bigger deals."

"You turned in evidence against Kubra?!" Piper was shocked that this was the way Alex had managed to leave the cartel. She knew of more than a couple of people who mysteriously disappeared when Kubra got paranoid and it wasn't the kind of job where you could hand in your notice and train up your replacement for a month before skipping into a new career.

"Yes."

"Fuck."

"I think the profits increase blinded him to anything that he'd normally got suspicious about. In fact, he gave me more power to do things my own way as time went on. It was dangerous because the stakes got higher and more people lower down the food chain were gunning for me to fall on my face."

"Shit Alex…. He could've killed you…."

"I knew that before I even spoke to the police. But I looked at what my life had become…it was all about the work…It was a constant struggle to maintain my position in the cartel…hook ups with mules who only wanted to be with me for my status in the cartel, not trusting anyone and constantly moving around without anyone to care if I lived or died anyway. I might as well try and leave or die knowing that I tried to do the right thing."

"So, they offered you a deal?"

"Yeah."

"What was it Alex? What was it they offered you instead of a prison sentence?"

"They wanted the people at the top, but they knew I wasn't bothered about turning them in. The deal I was working for meant me serving no time at all and securing some of my assets so I had something to live on when my life in the cartel came crashing down….I was risking my life and a very nasty death for a year by bringing down one of the biggest drug rings operating in mainland Europe. My Lawyer was going to get the best possible deal in exchange for that kind of information." Alex took Piper's hand in both of hers and looked at her closely as she spoke now.

"The only way they would honour that is if I gave everyone up, without holding back on the information. I knew one of the others would turn you in without so much as blinking when they started bringing people in and if I kept your name off the records, they would take the deal off the table and I'd end up in prison with nothing but a certain death by shanking. Enough people knew you were my girlfriend, even if they didn't know about you transporting the money and they would have brought you in…..I had no choice Piper…..Do you understand that?"

Piper said nothing, but looked away.

"Piper I know you think I got off lightly. And after what you told me earlier, you're right. I can't imagine what you went through in there and I will never forgive myself for doing that to you. Knowing only a little of what you've been though makes me sick to my stomach, but please believe that my life in that deal was on a constant knife edge and I've been very lucky it came through. The odds were stacked against me surviving that from the start and I made myself accept that I'd meet a grim death, I just didn't know when it would happen."

Piper was quiet for a while, looking down at their hands before pulling hers away and stuffing them underneath her legs.

"That took some balls."

Alex thought about it for a moment before replying. "Not really. When you have nothing to live for, you don't worry about dying either." The words hung in the air between them, each lost in their own understanding of that simple sentence for a while before Piper spoke first.

"What happened to Kubra?"

"At the time the Feds were planning to move in and make the arrests, he was going through some serious turf war stuff with a guy they called El Wapo who was a South American kingpin with a rival cartel. There had been a few not-so subtle threats exchanged between them over a couple of months – each time the message was a little more brutal and there were body parts going in either direction. Kubra was on high alert and when the Feds were arranging a location to swoop and pick up the top guys in the cartel, he thought it was El Wapo and the Feds walked into a bloody gunfight with Kubra and his head honchos. There was a heavy body count on both sides and Kubra was killed along with the rest of his top guys and henchmen…..They got Fahri too."

Alex went quiet, thinking of the friends she had sent to their deaths through her deal to get out of the cartel. She hadn't expected it to end like that, but it had a degree of finality about it that meant there were fewer witnesses to her double-crossing them. It didn't change the fact that nobody had forced her to get involved in the cartel and Fahri had simply made her an offer of a better lifestyle where she wasn't scratching around for money like her Mom had all of her life. Alex had accepted it and had a Hell of a good life in terms of the places she got to see, the lifestyle she had afforded and the thrill of the big deals being pulled off. She had repaid their faith in her by getting them killed, all the while pretending to be on side and friendly with them. She didn't have many friends and turning her back on them was against every principle she had. But it was also the only way out of the cartel and there were no other options open to her other than her own death. It was a close call even on those terms.

"The Feds made it look like a gang war shoot out and El Wapo didn't dispute it as he could take over Kubra's territories and take the kudos of taking out his main rival. They made a few lower level arrests when the dust settled after the shoot out to make it look like it was unrelated activity from the Police and the ring was effectively shut down. Everyone arrested assumed I was taken out in the gunfire and I was released to get on with my life as long as I kept a low profile away from my old area of business."

Piper rubbed her head wearily and clenched her jaw as she digested everything that Alex had told her that morning. Knowing the truth about something that she'd already filed away as being dealt with was like throwing her past up in the air and shifting the perspective. She wasn't sure how she felt about the new version of the truth and sensed Alex's eyes on her, looking for at least some confirmation that she had heard her words.

"I need to process all of this Alex. It's a lot to take on board at the moment…" She smiled weakly before uncrossing her legs and standing up. "I'm going to make a coffee. Did you want to freshen up?"

"Yeah, I'll get a shower actually if that's OK? Can I borrow some sweats since I slept in my dress last night?"

"Help yourself, just look through the drawers here when you're done."

XXXXX

Piper was sitting at the breakfast bar, finishing a text apologising to Polly when Alex came in wearing her yoga pants and a Red Sox hoodie.

"Hey."

"Oh hey. Feel better after a shower?"

"Much. I wish your bras were my size though." Alex smiled.

"Yeah, I guess I'm still a late developer. You want some toast?" Piper stood and walked to the fridge to see if there was anything more filling than the couple of slices of toast she'd just made do with.

"I was thinking maybe we could walk to a coffee shop and get some fresh air and lunch if you fancy it? I think we could both use a leg stretch."

"Actually yes, that does sound good. Let me shower quickly and I'll be right back."

Piper locked the door behind them and they walked in silence for a couple of minutes after they decided where they were heading. It was tempting to smooth over the earlier conversation and switch to another subject, but Alex wanted to square things off properly before that happened and spoke first.

"You OK?"

"Yeah…It just…changes things you know."

"Like what?"

"Like…I don't know. Just…like things I've known as my truth have been changed and I don't know how to deal with that I guess."

"But the result is the same. Your feelings then and now are the same. It's just you know more information than you did when you were having those feelings originally. Nothing changed only I told you my side of things. Your side is the same."

Piper thought about it for a moment before replying.

"Well, yes. But I guess I filled in your side of the story with my own version of events and that's the truth that changed."

"OK. I get that…. But your version says I turned you in and you were right. The only thing that changed is that you know why now. Surely knowing I did it to leave and bring down the cartel is better than you thinking I did it out of revenge?"

"I know…..It is. It's just a shock I think."

"Alright….If you have any questions, just ask me. I've been honest with you, as you asked. You scared the shit out of me running off like that last night."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do."

"Maybe it was the right thing to do, but I want to go with you if it happens again. I don't want you running away from me every time you get angry and I think maybe we need to think about that exercise to get the anger out of your system."

Piper shrugged as she felt Alex's eyes on her.

"For now, let's get some hot food and strong caffeine into our bodies in here."