Title: Beer Very Bad
Author: Golden Waffles
Rating: T. For occasional mentions of sex. But not in this chapter.
Disclaimer: If I owned the characters or settings of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Tara would never have been killed off. I don't. But I did write the situations I put them in here.
A/N: This was originally the first half of a chapter. I've reluctantly split it because of length. The next chapter has some very important fallout and will be posted within the week. It's a difficult one, so I'm taking advantage of the split to do some final adjustments.
A/N2: It's not exactly canon, but I always liked the idea of Tara gravitating towards Buffy's mom. I mean, after what happened with her own, and her family situation besides that… well, there's some potential there for an interesting dynamic. So this is (in part) my interpretation of that idea.

Chapter 36:
Movie Night

Willow sat on the couch, trying to relax and enjoy the movie. Tara was only a few inches away, but those empty inches felt glaringly intentional after their almost-fight the day before. Buffy shared the couch with them, curled on the opposite end, while Xander took the armchair, Anya in his lap. From the kitchen, they could hear clinking dishes as Mrs. Summers cleaned up their mess from dinner.

Willow glanced up again at the girl beside her as she sensed movement. Tara was grimacing again, turning her face from the screen. An old monster movie was playing, and she seemed to look away from the screen more than she looked towards it. Willow tried reaching for her hand a few times, but Tara subtly withdrew from her every time she reached out, until she finally stopped trying.

In the movie, a young man screamed and clawed at himself theatrically as his skin turned green and tentacles sprouted all over his body as he once again transformed into the swamp monster. The Scoobies had a tradition of watching old, kitschy, fake-looking monster movies. After all the time they spent dealing with real ones, the ones from the movies were usually either adorable or hilarious in their ineptitude. From what Willow could tell, though, Tara did not share their thickened skin.

"You okay?" she whispered, leaning over and putting a hand on her girlfriend's arm. Tara uncharacteristically jerked free of her grasp, then gave a self-conscious smile that was more of a grimace.

"Yeah. F-fine. I just… I don't like monster movies much. At least ones like this, where people…" she glanced at the transformation on the screen for a minute and shivered, but seemed to give up on any further description, awkwardly clearing her throat and shaking her head.

"We could watch something else," Willow offered quickly. She wasn't really sure what Tara meant by 'ones like this,' but they did have a huge number of movies at their disposal, and many of them were nothing at all like the one playing. And if it made Tara feel more comfortable… "I mean, none of us really care—"

"N-no," Tara interrupted, shaking her head. She looked embarrassed and avoided Willow's gaze. "But… I, uh, I think maybe I'll go outside for a minute. Get some air?"

"Want me to come with you?" Willow asked, hoping with everything she had that the answer would be 'yes.' Then, they could sit outside and talk things over and maybe things could be less strained between them again. And then they could come back and cuddle on the couch, and—

"No." Tara rose to her feet, but motioned Willow to stay put. "I'll be fine."

Willow's heart sank, stinging from the rejection. She thought about arguing her point, or saying that people in Sunnydale were safer in pairs, or that saying that she didn't like the movie either and wanted to get some air, too.

"The backyard is safer," she said instead. The night before, as they both lay awake, recovering from their almost-fight, she had silently vowed to give Tara the space she needed to figure things out. But now that it came to actually acting on it, she started to feel like maybe it was a stupid idea. Maybe forcing the issue would be better. Maybe Tara really wanted to tell her, but just needed a little push.

Tara gave a small smile of thanks and began to walk back towards the kitchen. Willow forced herself to follow her with her eyes instead of her feet.

"Something wrong?" Buffy asked from the other side of the couch.

"I don't know," Willow murmured, still watching the spot in hallway where Tara had disappeared. "She said she doesn't like the movie very much."

"We could watch something else."

"I told her that. I guess she doesn't want to seem like she's bothering us." Willow sighed. "She said she's just getting some air. Alone."

She heard the back door creak open, pause for several seconds, then shut again. She assumed this meant that Tara was in the backyard, until she heard the low cadence of her voice in the kitchen, followed by Buffy's mom's. They were talking, their voices rendered vague and indistinct by distance and walls.

Willow tried to pay attention to the movie, but her curiosity and jealousy were eating her alive. She said she wanted to be alone, but now she's talking to someone. Someone who's not me.

She spent a good five minutes fidgeting restlessly before giving up and scanning the room for some excuse to go into the kitchen. The popcorn bowl between her and Buffy was about two-thirds empty. Close enough. She crunched down the last several handfuls of kernels in the space of a minute, as Buffy looked on with an arched eyebrow.

"I'm going to get some more. From the kitchen," she explained, fighting back a blush. Buffy just smirked and turned her attention back to the movie. Willow scooped up the empty bowl and tried to keep her steps silent as she approached the other room.

"You don't have to do that," she could make out Mrs. Summers's voice first.

"I don't mind," came Tara's response. "I've, um, been washing dishes since… well, forever, I guess. S-since I was a kid."

"Well, if you're willing, then I'm certainly not going to stop you."

Willow entered the room quietly, but not quietly enough to escape their attention.

"Out of popcorn already?" Mrs. Summers asked brightly from where she stood by the counter, stacking clean plates in a cabinet. Tara stood at the sink, hands mindlessly scrubbing at a pan with smooth, practiced motions.

"Yeah. I guess." Willow hadn't really planned for this part, but she adapted quickly enough, bringing the bowl over to the microwave and finding another popcorn bag.

"Tara, you were friends with Willow before you met Buffy, right?" Mrs. Summers picked her conversation with Tara back up. Tara nodded, looking up at her with an expression Willow didn't recognize.

"Yeah. We met back in Fall."

That was the understatement of the year, but Willow had no plans to amend Tara's drastically shortened, G-rated version of the story.

"And you're a witch, too?" Joyce frowned suddenly. "That's the right word, isn't it? I mean, it's not offensive or anything? I never thought to ask."

Tara gave an amused smile that warmed her eyes. Willow had to suppress the urge to furrow her brow. Tara seemed perfectly at ease now. Almost relaxed. It was different than she had been around Buffy and Xander, or even around Giles. Why?

"It's okay. 'Witch' is fine. And, um, yes… I am one."

"Was your family-"

Joyce was interrupted and Willow was brought back to reality by the sound of the microwave beeping and the smell of burnt popcorn. She hadn't been paying attention to it. Regardless, she emptied the bag into the bowl while Tara seemed content to leave the unfinished question unanswered. Unable to think of a good way to delay her departure, Willow started to walk back towards the living room in a path that would let her walk past Tara.

"Hey…" she murmured, pausing by the sink, where Tara methodically cleaned another large dish. "Do you want to come back in? We can put in a different movie. No one would mind." She didn't want Tara to feel ostracized from their group for something as meaningless as movie preferences. But Tara shook her head, not quite meeting Willow's eyes.

"It's alright, Willow. You guys can finish the movie. I can stay in here for a little longer." Her gaze flitted towards the sink, then up to Mrs. Summers, then back to her girlfriend.

"I just… are you sure?" Willow could hear the confusion in her own voice. Tara would rather wash dishes than watch a monster movie? It sounded crazy. But then again, Willow would rather go toe-to-toe with a vampire than with a sink full of dishes, so she allowed the possibility that she was biased. "You should have told us how much you don't like monster movies. We wouldn't have put one on if we'd known."

"Willow, it's fine. I'm fine in here." Her voice sounded sincere as she set the clean dish on a cloth by the sink to dry. "Just go back and finish the movie with the others. I'll be fine." Her face still held an expression that Willow had never seen before, and Willow once again felt like she was sitting for a test she had never gotten the material for.

"Okay," she relented. She wanted to squeeze Tara's hand for reassurance, but she wasn't sure she could handle Tara pulling away from her again. "I'll come tell you when it's over. Okay?"

Tara nodded again, and Willow reluctantly withdrew to the living room. This time, though, she deliberately sat on the floor on the kitchen-adjacent side of the room, just close enough that she could hear the voices in the kitchen if she really strained her ears over the sound of the television— which she did.

"Is everything okay?" Mrs. Summers was asking now.

"I think so." Tara answered, then paused for several seconds. "I think… we kind of had a fight yesterday."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that." There was another short silence, punctuated by more screams from the television. "She didn't seem mad. When she and Buffy fight, she mostly just avoids her. If she came in here to-" Noise from the movie covered up the rest of Mrs. Summer's reassurance.

"-hope so," came Tara's voice once the movie quieted. "It was my fault, though."

Even though Willow wanted Tara to open up to her, her heart twisted at the guilt in Tara's voice.

"Well, between you and me, Buffy's said and done plenty of things over the years that had them fighting. But it never lasted. Whatever it was, I think if you're already talking again, it was probably nothing to worry about."

Something about the phrase 'between you and me' hit Willow right in the chest, and her own sense of guilt flooded her. By eavesdropping, she was horribly invading Tara's privacy. Which was exactly what she had been trying to avoid with her vow. Ashamed with herself, she stood from her awkward place on the floor and made her way back to the couch, where the two voices faded into an indistinct rumble on the other side of the wall.

"Everything okay?" Buffy asked. Willow nodded.

"She's just talking with your mom." About me. About how she's worried that I'm mad at her. It was a weird thought. She hadn't ever considered how Tara might interact with Buffy's mom. But I guess… she doesn't really have any close friends she could talk to about it… As far as I know…

"Oh. Okay." Buffy's eyebrows rose a little, as though she hadn't considered that option either.

"And washing dishes," Willow added absently. More weirdness.

"Huh. Why do I get the feeling that's going to get me in trouble later?" Buffy rolled her eyes and put on her best mom-voice. "'You know, Buffy, your friend Tara helped me clean up after the rest of you tonight. When was the last time you did that?'"

Willow smiled and shrugged helplessly.

"I tried to get her to stop, but she wanted to stay."

"She hates the movie that much?"

"I don't know. Maybe. I want to ask her on the way home. But I've been getting the feeling lately that there's a lot she doesn't tell me." Willow looked at Buffy critically for a second, trying to decide whether or not to say anything. Finally, she decided that if Tara was in the other room talking about their fight, it must be okay for her to talk about it, too. "We kind of had a fight last night. I accidentally yelled at her for keeping secrets from me."

"How do you accidentally yell at someone?" Buffy asked, tilting her head and furrowing her brow in confusion.

"It's a weird story."

"Obviously." Buffy smirked. "Well, did she give you a reason?"

"No." Willow's eyes stared off into the doorway to the kitchen. "But I think it's something big. I think she's really scared to tell me too much."

Buffy raised her eyebrows, surprised.

"She doesn't seem like the type to have a checkered past."

"I know…" She's so quiet and sweet. What could she possibly have to hide? What could scare her that bad?

Willow spent the remainder of the movie lost in thought, trying to imagine what the problem might be. Buffy nudged her when the credits started to roll, jerking her out of her reverie. This version imagined Tara as an undercover FBI agent sent to investigate Sunnydale, X-Files style. Would Tara be Mulder or Scully? This requires additional thought.

"It's over?" Willow verified. Buffy nodded, and the redhead immediately jumped to her feet and made a beeline for the kitchen. The sink was empty. Tara stood with a dishtowel, drying the dishes and handing them to Mrs. Summers to put away.

"It's… um, it's kind of hard to explain. I mean, my mom's side of the family was Wiccan, but my dad-" Tara broke off as she noticed Willow. "Hey. Um… is the m-movie over already?"

Willow felt like she'd been electrocuted. Tara was talking about her family. To someone else. Like it was nothing. Like it was normal. Like it wasn't a subject she had always gone to exhaustive pains to avoid at all costs around Willow. What did that mean? Was Tara finally willing to open up about her past? That was the best case scenario. The worst case scenario was much more terrifying. Could Tara's avoidance of the topic be specific to Willow?

She knew she was just standing there dumbly, and tried to remember what Tara had asked her.

"Yeah. It's over." She was spared having to form additional sentences as Buffy, Xander, and Anya trickled into the kitchen as well.

"We're going to head out, I think. Thanks, Mrs. S., as always," Xander said. He gave Anya an expectant look.

"Yes, thank you for letting us eat food and watch movies at your house," Anya recited, offering a forced smile. "Was that right?" she stage-whispered to Xander, who nodded and shushed her.

"You're very welcome. Be careful getting home. It's dark," Mrs. Summers reminded them, pretending not to have noticed Anya's slip-up. Xander nodded gratefully, and they took their leave. Willow noticed Anya give an extra wave to Tara on her way out, and suppressed a sigh.

As the door closed behind the departing couple, Tara looked awkwardly between Willow and Mrs. Summers.

"Um… I can stay and finish if you want. There's not much left," the blonde offered after a moment of confused silence. Mrs. Summers smiled and shook her head.

"No, you two can go on home. I think it's Buffy's turn to help clean up." She raised an eyebrow at her daughter, who seemed to shrink under her gaze. Buffy shot Willow a quick 'I told you' look before accepting the towel from Tara. "I appreciate the offer, though. Maybe your helpfulness and manners will rub off on everyone else," she teased. Willow blushed, but Tara just smiled shyly. Mrs. Summers began walking them to the door. Willow pulled it open and stepped outside, but Tara hesitated in the doorway. Mrs. Summers took the opportunity to squeeze Tara's shoulder. "It was nice to meet you, Tara. Remember, you're welcome back here anytime."

Tara nodded, suddenly looking much younger than her nineteen years.

"Thank you," she said simply, before following Willow out into the night.