Okay guys, a warning, this chapter is sad. It's not as sad as some future chapters but it's still sad. This is the normal length of my chapters.... I think. I hope anyway and I hope you like it. It's not as emotional as I would have liked but some of the chapters I have coming up are more emotional than this one. I like this one despite that I got all teary-eyed when I wrote because I was getting so into the story. I actually cried when I wrote the next few. So good luck. In Hold Me Close I made people cry.... I wonder if I can do it again.

Enjoy... or... well.... yeah enjoy.

I was in a good mood at the start of the New Year. Our other performances went on flawlessly and Miss Alike told Fang and I that she wanted us next year and we agreed having enjoyed the musical more than we thought we would, surprisingly.

School went back for the term and we started studying Catcher in the Rye in English, Mr Callahan moved me from Government to music class and in Drama we got to watch the video for the musical.

So you can imagine my surprise when I woke up on a Thursday morning with the strangest feeling of unease in the pit of my stomach. I sat up frowning. What on Earth could be wrong? I got up, trying to figure out if there was anything that I wasn't looking forward to while I dressed and went out for breakfast.

"Good morning, honey," Mum said. I smiled at her and sat down as she put a plate of bacon and eggs in front of me.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

"What's wrong?"

I looked up and Mum was frowning at me anxiously.

"Nothing," I replied. "That's what's wrong. I feel real gross and worried and I don't know why."

Mum shrugged. "Did you have a test today?"

"No." I shook my head and started eating, slightly confused.

Ella got up and questioned my mood, also confused about how I was feeling. I just ignored her speculation and waited for the sound of Zac's car. When he arrived I grabbed my bag and left to escape from Mum and Ella's worried questions.

"Morning," I said as I sat in the front seat of Zac's car. I leant across and he gave me a kiss which I returned only half-heartedly. Zac pulled away, frowning at me.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," I replied. "I'm just being silly."

"About what, sweetie?" Zac asked as he pulled away from my house. I took a breath and paused. I told Zac everything, I assure you, but for some reason this was one thing that I really wanted to discuss with Fang first.

"Nothing," I replied. "Just a bad dream." Zac glanced at me sideways but shrugged, frowning out the windscreen. I felt bad for keeping him in the dark and lying to him but I just wanted to talk to Fang first, that was all.

Zac pulled up in the student parking lot and that reminded me that I hadn't gotten my permit yet. Fang had his but he said he didn't like to drive and Iggy couldn't be bothered getting his. I shook my head as I climbed out of the car.

I looked for Fang by the passage between the car park and the hall but he wasn't there like he usually was. I frowned and Zac stepped beside me.

"Is Fang away today?" he asked, also confused by his absence.

"No, not that I know of," I replied. "Let's go." I took Zac's hand and we walked up to where Fang, Iggy, Zac, Steve, Damen and I usually sat of a morning. Iggy and Damen were the only ones there yet.

"Hi!" Iggy and Damen shouted. I waved and Zac and I joined the two boys.

"Where's Steve?" I asked, sitting down.

"He caught a stomach bug," Damen replied. "He won't be at school until next week."

"Okay," I said agreeably. Maybe Fang had caught it to… no, he would have texted me about that. Zac put his arms around me and frowned.

"And where's Fang?" he asked.

"I was hoping you guys would be able to tell me," Iggy replied.

"I have no idea," I replied softly. Now I was even more worried than before. I looked around hoping Fang would just appear out of nowhere with a good excuse as to his lateness. He was never late so this was so, so weird.

Fang didn't show up all morning and I wasn't the only one who was worried. Iggy and I shared a wide-eyed anxious look before he went off with Damen- who kept looking around hopefully- to homeroom.

"I hope he's alright," Zac murmured as we walked to homeroom. I felt a little flutter in my heart at those words despite my worry. Zac couldn't be more wonderful. I was so glad that he and Fang were on such good terms. They were actually pretty good friends.

"Same here," I murmured. Zac kissed me on the cheek.

"He'll show up," he assured me. "Angel's probably sick and he's taking care of her or something."

"Maybe. See you at lunch."

"See you." Zac left me and I went into homeroom and sat down, folding my arms on the desk and resting my chin on them. My day would be so boring if Fang wasn't here and not to mention how worried I was. I waited for my phone to go off but it didn't which just made me worry even more.

Mr Varner was busy writing on the white board and everything was talking quietly. Nobody seemed to notice that Fang wasn't here yet. Just as Mr Varner turned to take attendance the door of the room opened and my heart leapt as I looked around.

"Sorry," Fang muttered tonelessly as he shut the door.

I was taken-aback. I'd expected Fang to flash our teacher his brilliant smile, apologise charmingly and then look at me and wink before sitting with me and telling me why he was late and apologise. But instead he just mumbled something that nobody understood and came to his sit and sat down, slumped with a kind of dejected atmosphere around him. He didn't even look at me.

I frowned. What was wrong? I was suddenly even more worried than I had been when he hadn't showed up. What had happened to put him in such a mood?

When the bell went I grabbed Fang's arm before he could slope off without me.

"What's wrong?" I whispered. Fang didn't answer, he just pulled his arm away from me and walked away. I felt three things simultaneously: hurt at his rejection, worry at his mood and anger at his refusal to talk.

I followed him to science and we sat together but Fang acted more or less like I didn't even exist. And that's how it went until lunch when he asked me what I where I wanted to sit. Iggy, Damen and Zac were already at a table so I pointed there and he came with me without a word.

"Fang!" Zac said happily but his face fell when Fang ignored him. Both Damen and Iggy already knew about Fang's mood both having had a class with him this morning. I sat next to Zac and snuggled into his side, upset.

"Max?" Zac whispered.

"I don't know what's wrong with him," I whispered quietly as Fang moodily stabbed at his pasta. "He won't talk to any of us. Not even me."

"Want me to try?" Zac asked softly.

"Please?"

Zac nodded and we all ate in tense silence but when we were done Zac stood and stretched.

"I'm going for a walk," he stated and I frowned up at him. He looked at Fang. "You wanna come, man?"

"No," Fang replied darkly.

Zac frowned and walked over to Fang. "Seriously, come with me."

"I said no," Fang snapped. Zac straightened up and ran a hand over his face. "Leave me alone." We all looked at Fang who stood up and left.

I think something in me snapped at his attitude- which was so not like him- because I stood up, grabbed my bag and marched after him. I grabbed his arm and spun him around to look at me. He glared at me and I glared back despite that he was so much taller than me.

"Tell me what is going on right this instant or so help me I'll kick your arse from here to next year," I snarled. Fang glared at me for a moment and then I saw something flicker in his eyes right before his whole façade fell and his face turned lost, confused and upset.

I froze as Fang looked at me and I floundered for a moment and then I dropped my voice and looked at him worriedly.

"Fang?" I whispered. "What is it?"

Fang closed his eyes for a moment and I thought he might be holding back tears, the thought of which really frightened me because Fang never cried.

"It's my Mum, Max," he choked out. I blinked. Was Alice okay? "She has ovarian cancer. She's going to die."

--

I walked home with Fang that day, after calling Mum to tell her where I was going. I kept one arm around him the whole way. He was silent and down. He didn't look at me, didn't say a word. When we got to his house he didn't want to go in the front way so we jumped the fence and he unlocked the French doors of his room and we dumped our things in there and then Fang went back outside and leant against the tree next to his swing.

I sat on the swing and Fang looked at me and he was the frightened, lost boy again from the cafeteria.

"Fang…" I didn't know what to say. What could I say?

"She doesn't have all that long," Fang mumbled. "A month, a month and a half? The doctors aren't really sure. Her specialist says that it's one of the worst cases he's ever seen. It's really advanced."

Fang took a deep breath and once again got frightened by the knowledge that he was holding back tears. I didn't want Fang to cry. It would set me off if he cried and it would hurt too much to see him cry.

Fang sank down onto the ground and I slipped off the swing and knelt beside him, touching his shoulder gently.

"I know you're wondering how to comfort me but there really isn't anything you can say," Fang murmured, glancing at me sideways. I nodded slowly. "I just want you to sit with me for a little while."

"Where's Angel? And your parents?" I whispered.

"Angel's at Nudge's place and Mum and Dad are… are discussing options," Fang whispered. He closed his eyes tightly and leant his head back against the tree trunk. I sat down properly and Fang took my hand and I squeezed his and leant into him. Fang turned his face down onto my shoulder and I touched his head comfortingly.

That was how we sat for god knows how long until we heard Peter's car pull into the drive.

"Mum…" Fang's whispered word was strangled. He stood up, pulling me with him and kept a tight hold on my hand as we went into the house through his room and out to the front door. Peter was carrying Angel into the house and Alice was looking distant and distressed.

"Fang?" she whispered when she saw him. I looked at Fang's face and saw the pain and terror there. I released Fang's hand and he went to his Mum and folded her into his arms, hiding his face on her shoulder- he was at least half a foot taller than her- and for that moment, he didn't seem like my Fang. He seemed like a little boy who didn't understand what was happening.

"Hi Max," Peter said while Alice cooed to her son and stroked his longish hair. I tried to smile at Peter but it came out as more of a grimace.

"I think I'll call Mum so I can go home," I mumbled, not wanting to intrude on their family sorrow.

"No," Alice said looking up at me. "You can stay, if you want."

I frowned. Fang raised his head and looked back at me.

"Could you stay?" he asked me in a quiet, broken voice. "Just until after dinner at least." I took one look at the hopelessness in Fang's eyes and my heart broke slightly at that look and I knew in that moment that I would do anything to take that look away from Fang's eyes and replace it with his usual happiness.

"Of course I can," I whispered and Fang's eyes flared with gratitude before he turned back to his Mum. Alice took Fang into the lounge room and I looked at Peter who was taking Angel to her room. I helped him calm her down and promised to read to her later.

Angel curled up with one of her stuffed animals on her bed and I went into the kitchen with Peter. I could hear Alice speaking softly to Fang and I felt my throat thicken, I wanted to cry so badly. I knew Peter did too.

"A month," he whispered. I wasn't sure if it was to me or himself.

"Are you sure I can stay?" I asked. I didn't want to leave Fang but Peter needed to be alone it seemed.

"Of course," Peter sighed, sitting at the kitchen table. I sat down too and he gave me a sad smile. "Fang needs you. You're the only one who'll be able to keep him sane. Me on the other hand… well, I'll try for Angel and Fang but…" Peter shook his head.

"You'll be okay," I whispered, unsure. If my soul mate died, I think I would die inside. Peter seemed to know what I was thinking and he nodded.

"That's what'll happen to me," he sighed. "But Fang won't… he's stronger than me but he'll need you. You don't see the change in him that Alice and I do, Max. He smiles more, he sings without music now and he laughs for no reason other than to laugh. We see a change in Fang that came around because of you. You'll be the only one who can keep him from losing his sanity when…" Peter shook his head and I found a tear running down my cheek.

I shook my head.

"I'll be here, so will Mum," I told him.

"I know," Peter said. "Alice called Valencia before we came home and she told us that you were with Fang and that made Alice relax. She wants you to look after Fang for us."

I nodded.

"I can do that." I sighed.

"We should start dinner," Peter murmured. I helped him throw together fried rice and then I went and got Angel to come out and eat. I didn't want to interrupt Alice and Fang and neither did Peter.

We looked at each other, waiting by the lounge room door, wondering. We eventually sighed and went back into the kitchen. Alice and Fang came in to eat with us and then Fang and I went to read to Angel and settle her down before bed.

"Are you okay?" I asked Fang stupidly.

"I'm better when I'm with you," he replied as we shut Angel's door. It wouldn't be her bed time for at least another hour normally but right now she was tired and upset so we'd gotten her to sleep already.

"Do you want me to stay the night?" I asked.

"No," Fang murmured. "You should go home." But I could see that he wanted me here.

"I'll stay," I said and Fang rolled his eyes half-heartedly. I called Mum and told her that I was going to stay with Fang and she agreed that that was probably best and wished me goodnight. Alice leant me a pair of pyjamas and I changed into them and went to Fang's room. He was sitting on the window seat, staring up at the darkening sky. He seemed to be mouthing something to himself and I noticed the evening star. Fang didn't believe in wishing on the evening star but he was doing it now.

I felt another little tear in my heart and went and knelt by him. Fang looked at me. Neither of us said anything as I rested a hand on his knee and gave him a comforting look. Fang rested his hand on top of mine and looked back out at the sky.

I don't know how long we sat like that. Until my knees were aching and my feet were numb. But I didn't say anything. Fang seemed to guess how I was feeling though and he motioned his head towards to bed but I shook my head, refusing to leave his side.

Fang groaned.

"Sleep Max, we have school tomorrow," he told me. He stood up and went to the bed and I followed him. We sat next to each other and Fang glared at me. "Go to sleep." His voice was firm but I shook my head.

"No," I told him.

Fang rolled his eyes, grabbed my shoulder and forced me to lie down, resting my head on his leg. I blushed as he rested his hand on my hair.

"You shouldn't worry about me," he whispered.

"Too late," I replied and he just laughed humourlessly. It was a sad, broken sound and my heart gave a painful throb. I sighed but closed my eyes. "It's going to be okay, Fang."

"Sure, sure," Fang murmured. "Just go to sleep." I yawned despite myself and found myself drifting off to sleep, worrying about Fang.

--

Fang stroked Max's hair as she slept and he leant back on his headboard and looked at the window again. The stars glittered in the night sky. It wasn't late but he wanted Max to have plenty of sleep and plus he wanted her unconscious for another reason.

Fang closed his eyes and felt the inevitable pain fill his heart and then tears seeped out from under his closed eye lids. He hadn't really cried since he thought Max was going to die. Now his Mum was going to die. The tears wouldn't stop. Fang made sure none of them fell onto Max because he was positive she would wake up if that happened.

He couldn't lose his mum. She was… well, she was his mum. He loved her and she was always there. She gave brilliant advice. She loved him. She understood him. She took care of him. His mum was the kindest person he knew and the most loving. Angel took after her a lot.

Fang wondered what it would be like for his Dad if his Mum died. Peter was a strong person but his whole world revolved around Alice. He loved her so deeply and strongly that Fang didn't think he could stand the pain in his Dad eyes if Alice died.

Fang took a deep breath and was hit with another thought.

What would it be like for him if Max died?

Fang looked down at her and knew that he wouldn't be able to live through something like that. He silent vowed to protect Max forever.