Nicole's A/N: All I'm going to say is, this has been written for a while… before the thing we shall not speak about happened. This is my canon. This is how I want to remember Meredith and Derek, and I hope you'll agree.
This is the second to last chapter before Storm 2. I want you guys to know that no matter what crap Irene and I put Meredith and Derek through in the future, they'll always end up together and stronger. We give them conflicts to make them stronger, not to tear them apart forever.
So, yes, you're going to notice some similarities between this chapter and 11x19 and 20, but I can assure you, our outcome will be completely different. Now, let's all enjoy some happy, fluffy, (and porny) MerDer...
Chapter 37
Derek doesn't know why they had bothered putting on clean clothes after their failed storm sex adventure. What he does know, though, is it's time to shred those clothes, once and for all.
Gentle, he reminds himself, remembering Dr. Ryan's warnings, as his hands travel across Meredith's waistline, causing a shiver to elicit from her body as she wraps her arms around his neck. He tries to be gentle with her, but Meredith seems to have a different agenda in mind. It's hard to be benevolent when she presently looks like she's ready for a wild adventure, and he's missed their reckless, crazy sexual endeavors.
Meredith practically assaults him as she pushes his back against the armrest, digging her fingers into his waistband. She pants heavily and determined. His wife, never ceasing to take his breath away, is a woman on a mission.
She shreds her own pants as his fingers run underneath her shirt, moving up until he finds exactly what he's looking for. He unclasps her bra, before discarding and throwing it to the side with the rest of their clothes.
He groans, before she splays her bare legs across his unclothed lap, her palms sliding below his rib cage. "Meredith," he elicits a low moan as his fingers pine through her hair.
"Mmmm. I'm gonna ride you, Derek," she says is a low, seductive voice. He's pulsating against her inner thigh, as she strokes him lightly. His arousal grows, his heart erratic. Meanwhile, his fingers work their way down to her buttox, curving inward to her lower lips. She's wet, and he's just on the outside. He plunges one finger inside, and a moan vanquishes her lips as she pushes his finger away.
She positions herself on top of him. Her determination has never been clearer. She's prepared to take control, and he's prepared to die on this trip to euphoria.
His hands glaze over her waist, gripping tightly onto her, fully strapped in for the ride. Then his thumbs nestle around her bloated stomach, as if only to guard and protect the bean inside from the rough ride ahead.
He knows she's still mad at him, and that she's about to lash out all her anger on him for her own gratification. And he's prepared to take on the ramifications. Every bit of it. She's allowed to have her way with him. He knows he's in for a vicarious punishment, and he's not complaining at all.
She handcuffs his wrists with her hands, riding him in full force. Her hips sway up and down as she rocks him into Heaven. His head is in a haphazard, dangerous daze. It's been so damn long since they've been on this kind of ride.
Gentleness shifts into a forgotten virtue. Her thrusts strengthen and she grips hold of his shoulders, galloping like a mad horse. She's out of control. They've both lost all sense of control in this newfound treacherous oblivion.
"What are you doing?" she pants furiously when he picks her up. Her screech pierces his eardrums, though he's the only one who can hear her. Not one soul is here to save her. His plans are a go.
"Stairs," he heaves, carrying her over to the stairwell, disattaching from her only to walk. "You said you missed the stairs." He smirks, watching her face light up in delight, neither bothering to think of the ramifications that could follow.
He carries her to the top. "Wait!" she cries out in desperation.
"What?" he says, her naked body still cradled in his arms.
"Pure zone!" she squeals.
Derek chuckles, his hands stroking her breasts. "How far are we willing to go?" he asks her, fully prepared to seduce her to his will.
Her head spins into a delirium, and she's completely sober. Had Derek drugged her water? She knows it's stupid to think that, since she knows Derek is baby crazy. Still, she can't count the number of times he'd forgotten about the sex ban, and she had to remind him. Had she not reminded him they would have had sex hours ago.
She's kind of glad they didn't. Being with him like this, as much as she hates corniness, feels magical, and she wouldn't change their reunion for the world.
It's really hard to be mad at him when he's looking down upon her, his eyes sparkling, melting her insides in every which way. He murdered his freaking career, but here he is, looking as dreamy as ever, and she can't hold that against him. Even if she can't shake the feeling everything is going to come crashing down on them in the near future. She hates that it feels like she's always waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's how she's wired.
She can't think like that right now. Not with him holding her, cradling her like she's his whole world, on their perfectly pure stairwell. Their children aren't home, nobody is due to barge in tonight. There's no time like the present to christen these perfect steps that were made for sex. The opportunity might never come again.
"Well...it's not like we're doing it in our kids' bedrooms," she giggles, and Derek releases her from his arms at the stop of the stairs. She twirls into him, hugging him tightly, resting her head into his right areola. They spin around together, laughing and giggling like old times. Pre-kids times. He picks her up again, this time placing her on the stairs, where she kneels, Derek support her from behind.
She feels dizzy, like she might fall.
"I've got you," Derek says, rubbing her shoulders.
"You better not let me fall," she teases. Well, mostly teases. It's been a long time since they've been on the stairway to heaven. He could easily accidentally let her slip and she would end up tumbling down the stairs, landing on her face, and breaking her nose. Or worse.
"Why would I do that?" he asks, slowly rocking his hips against her, supporting her fully with his palms. "You don't trust me?" he purrs into her ear, despite their earlier serious conclusion about not trusting each other.
She responds with a loud moan. This might be one of the only times she trusts him one hundred percent. Cutting into brains and sex are indeed his specialties. She feels like she's about lose consciousness when every single muscle in her body tenses, her heart pounding harder than it's pounded in ages, her temples throbbing into a short-lived oblivion and she falls back, unable to control herself any longer.
Fortunately, she's caught by Derek's embrace.
"Told'ja I wouldn't let you fall," he teasingly whispers in her ear, and she lays motionless in his arms. At first it's for the bliss. Every muscle in her body is relaxed for the first time in weeks. She can't remember the last time she felt this at ease, at peace.
Then suddenly she's spinning. Her stomach drops, and her head feels very light. Dizziness falls over her in full force, like she's on a merry-go-round. And not in a good, orgasmic way. She feels like the kid who's about to vomit her last meal all over the playground.
"Meredith?" Derek's teasing tone is replaced with worry. "Are you okay?" He cradles her, like he would one of their children.
"F-Fine," she manages to stammer, grabbing the railing so she can sit up on her own. She sits her bottom down on the step in front of Derek and faces him directly. Her hands cup his shoulders. "That was amazing." She flicks her eyelids, and the room comes back into clear focus. The dizziness seems to subside as well.
"Amazing," Derek echoes, though she can see the concern hasn't left his face. "Are you sure you're all right?"
"Derek, I'm fine. I'd be better if we did it again," she protests, her insides already throbbing for more now that the room is no longer a merry-go-round.
"Mmm," Derek smirks, leaning in closer and nuzzling his nose against hers before softly kissing her lips. He then wraps his arms around her, picking her up again.
"Ahhh!" she cries out. "Where are we going now?" She soon realizes he's carrying her to the couch, where he sets her down then begins putting his pants back on. "And why are you getting dressed?" she pouts.
"Dr. Ryan said we should take it slow," he reminds her sincerely, tossing her shirt and bra at her. "And you looked like you were about to throw up a few minutes ago…"
"I wasn't, Derek, I swear. I was just a little dizzy...I'm fine now. See, not dizzy." She stands up and twirls around. Meredith throws herself back into Derek's arms, tugging at his drawstrings. She hopes to convince him to go for another round right now.
"Mmm," Derek murmurs, pecking her forehead before pushing her hands away. "I would just feel better if you would lie down for a few minutes…" He rubs her swollen abdomen, his thumb circling her bellybutton. Then he glances into the kitchen. "Besides, I should clean up the kitchen and do dishes…unless you want to help…"
Meredith groans in disgust. "I saw enough mountains of dishes for a full lifetime while you were away. I'll be happy never to do them again."
"That's what I thought," Derek chortles. "So, lie down for a few minutes while I do the dishes, and then we'll see where the night takes us." Derek winks and gives her one more kiss, before breaking away to pull on his shirt.
Meredith has no choice but to relent. She redresses, and lays down on the couch as Derek begins filling the sink with soap and water. Meredith makes sure to position herself to where she's facing the kitchen, with a perfect picture view of her gorgeous husband. Her eyes can't help but fixate on his beautiful, firm butt that she longs to squeeze.
Her eyes don't leave Derek's butt as he walks to the kitchen table to blow out the candle flames. She imagines her hands on his butt, squeezing it, sliding in between his pants and underwear. She imagines her hands stroking his bare buttcheeks, working his pants back off. Meredith pictures her hands moving all over his body, the centers of her fingers stroking all of the places she knows will make him moan like there will be no tomorrow.
Derek is back. He's really back. Meredith hasn't really allowed this new reality to sink in yet. It seems so surreal that he's actually here to stay. After weeks on her own, making it work without him, she's not able to fully wrap her head around it all just yet.
After the candlelights are out, Derek steals a quick glance in her direction and snaps her out of her fantasies. "You can, you know, take a quick nap," he suggests, making her feel like she's one of the kids. Even though it irritates her, he looks too handsome for her to yell at him. His after-sex glow makes her want to jump him and do him on the kitchen table right now, if only their dirty dishes weren't in the way.
"The kitchen table," she says, point blank. Derek looks perplexed as he picks up their dirty plates and carries them across to the sink, which is now full of water and soap suds.
"You want to nap on the kitchen table?" he looks befuddled when he turns toward her.
"No," she giggles. "The list, remember? We're going to make a list."
"And you want to put the kitchen table it?" he asks, raising his eyebrows.
"Yeah, why not? We've never done it on that table," she says. They'd had their share of sexcapades on the old table they'd given to Goodwill when they moved out of the frat house.
"True," Derek laughs, placing the dishes in the sink and allowing them to sink as he grabs a washcloth and drying towel. "Might as well add the kitchen counter, then, since we haven't done it on this counter, either." Meredith, meanwhile, slides off the couch. "What are you doing?" Derek is quick to ask.
She opens up one of the end table drawers and pulls out a notebook.
"We said we're making a list, so we need a piece of paper," she replies, taking the blue ballpoint pen that also conveniently lies in the drawer . She plops back on the couch as Derek continues washing the dishes. She writes the number 1) kitchen table and then 2) kitchen counter. "Okay, where else?"
"Well, you want to have sex in the rain," Derek reminds her, and she giggles.
"I do," she says, writing: 3) in the summer rain.
"We've never done it in the laundry room," Derek notes.
"This laundry room," she corrects, recalling some rather promiscuous laundry room adventures in the frat house laundry room as she writes 4) laundry room. "That's only four...our list is short. We need to think of more."
"I think we have plenty of time to add to the list. We're not going anywhere anytime soon," Derek answers nonchalantly.
Meredith glares at him. "We have survived an unusual amount of bad things," she reminds him. His breaths hitch for a moment, and she heaves a deep sigh. "Besides, we need to cross some of this off our list before turn into a pumpkin. Like there's no way I'm going to be able to get up on the counter when I have a bowling ball inside me. And there's no way we're going to have time for sex with a newborn and Bailey and Zola. Remember how long it was before we had sex after Bailey?"
It was the gala six weeks after Bailey was born, and she had puke stains all over her. Definitely not their fondest moment. But it was magical, despite the circumstances. Afterward, they'd reminisced about prom.
She can't even remember their next time. Those months, leading up to the president calling Derek, are a blur. Hell, the last two years of her life are a blur. They've been so busy, between work and the kids, they've barely made time for themselves.
Maybe that's the missing piece: Time.
"I don't," Derek replies, chuckling. "I just remember falling asleep in the grocery store parking lot when I went to get milk."
"Meanwhile, I was at home with the baby, not sleeping," she rolls her eyes, scoffing.
"Well, you did fall asleep on the bathroom floor when you went to take a shower. I had to wake you up because I was hungry and my nipples were no use to him," he laughs, recalling the memory.
Meredith exhales sharply, declaring definitively, "We're never going to have sex again."
"You said that after we adopted Zola. Miss We Can't Have Sex in Front of a Rubber Duckie," Derek mocks her with a teasing smirk on his face. "And obviously that wasn't true. Otherwise we wouldn't have Bailey, and I wouldn't have you knocked up again." Derek winks.
"I hate you," Meredith attempts to hold back laughter.
"You love me," he grins widely, which she does. Even when she hates him. Meredith slides off the couch, raging, leaving the short list of places behind on the grey cushion. She bursts into the kitchen just as a roll of thunder shakes the quiet house.
"Nope, pretty sure I hate you," she giggles, murderously darting in his direction. She tosses her arms around his waist and tugs playfully at his waistband. His soapy hands clasp over her knuckles, transferring the suds to her fingers. Her fingers leave traces of soap suds on his sweats as she gently moves them to his behind and she squeezes his buttcheeks in an affectionate badinage.
"Hey!" Derek cries sharply, laughing loudly as he spins around, facing her directly. "What was that for?"
"I like your ass," she shrugs in a nonchalant, composed tone, her arms snug around his waist. Then she stretches her arms toward the sink and pokes her finger into the water.
"Meredith, what are you doing now?" he asks, suspicion visible on his face as his eyebrows raise.
She flashes him a nefarious smirk. "Oh, wouldn't you like to know?"
Meredith lifts her sud-filled fist out of the water.
"Meredith…" Derek's voice quivers before Meredith rubs the suds across his face, drawing him with a clean foamy mustache.
Derek can't deny his wife's irresistible beauty when she's nefarious like this. He would admit without one ounce of shame that it turns him on. The soap suds run down his face, over his lips, and he shakes his head, amused by his wife's game.
He dips his already soaked hand back into the sink water, the warmth soaking up his shriveled skin.
Meredith's arms leave his waist and her eyes widen. "Derek, what…"
"What? Two can play this game," he smiles, and before she can turn her head, he covers her face in foam, quite a bit more foam than she had put on his face. It wasn't his intention to take that much foam out of the water, but he had. The suds drip from Meredith's chin and seep into her T-shirt.
She inhales sharply, her jaw drops in awe. Meredith brazenly shakes her head, and she smiles mischievously. "Oh no you didn't." And her eyes explode. "This...this is war," she declares.
"Wa-?" before he can finish his thought, she throws both of her hands into the water and splashes a handful of lukewarm, dirty water in his direction, which ends up splattering across his face, neck, and T-shirt. A splash even ends up in his mouth, getting caught in his mouth because it wasn't expecting it. He swallows thickly, blinking the water out of his eyes, and takes his wife's water fight initiation like a champ. "Oh," he grins confidently. "You did not want to go there," he chuckles. "You're only messing with the king of water fights. Big mistake."
He had won his share of water fights against Mark and Lizzie when he was a kid, after all.
And so he turns on the water, grabs the sprayer, and without hesitation shoots it at Meredith's forehead. Her shrieks pierce his ears as she spins around, only resulting in her getting even more wet.
"Too bad there's only one sprayer," he laughs, still gripping onto the sprayer, though no longer squeezing the trigger."
"You ass!" a soaked Meredith shrieks, and she demands, "Give me that!" She reaches for the water sprayer, which he moves above her head and around, though her hands follow his. He's enjoying razzing her.
That is until she, all of a sudden, freezes. Her hand trembles over her forehead, and she woozily grips hold of the counter. "Oh, Derek, I don't … "
"Are you okay, Mere?" he asks, a sudden panic coming over him. Had he pushed her too far? He was just playing with her, and she was the one to start. What if he's taken it too far, and now she's sick? Could something be wrong wrong with the baby? Guilt overwhelms him as he realizes he should have been more careful with his pregnant wife. She was supposed to be taking it easy, and he should be protecting her, not riling her up even more.
She bends over, placing her hands on her hips. "Oh, Der, I-I don't know," she stammers, and he leans forward to place his hand on her shoulders. She lunges forward. Only after she has the sprayer in her hand does he realize how conniving his wife can be, and he had fallen for her scheme. He grunts, unimpressed.
Moments later, Meredith is having the time of her life, and he's drenched head to toe in water.
"Hah! You've been defeated! Did I forget to mention I'm the queen of water fights?" she taunts him, satisfied with her victory. Derek frowns, giving her a stern look. He's not happy about the decoy she'd used. "Oh, come on, don't be a sore loser," she rolls her eyes.
"This isn't about me losing or you winning," he says matter-of-factly. "You can't do that. Pretend like you don't feel well and use it to your advantage. I thought something was really wrong. And it's hypocritical. You yelled at me for crying wolf with the OB, and then you do just that…"
"I was not crying wolf. What I did is no different than a trick play in football," she argues.
"Meredith, do you even watch football?" he laughs, trying to recall a time he'd seen his wife watch a football game.
"Well, no, but…"
"What you did was nothing like a trick play," he assures her. Derek takes her into his arms, feeling grateful when she lets him. "You had me scared to death, Meredith. So please, just promise me you'll never do that again. Ever. No fake fainting or feeling ill, even if it's to trick me so you can win a game we're playing."
She sighs loudly, then nods obligingly. "Okay, no more tricks."
He gratefully pecks her cheek. "Thanks."
There's just something about being his arms. Even when they're both head-to-toe drenched. She can't put her finger on it. But it feels safe, and being in them warms her heart to its fullest. She wishes she could just stay safely and securely in his arms forever.
She sinks into his deep, wet embrace, feeling confident that together they can conquer the world. That everything will be okay as long as they are together.
"We're soaked," Derek murmurs in her ear.
"Mmm, I know," she says, smiling, a chill sweeping down her spine.
"I guess we should get out of our wet clothes, then," Derek smirks, moving his eyebrows up and down.
"We should," Meredith agrees. She leans in and kisses him, while he runs his hands under her shirt, lifting it above her head and tossing the wet garment on the floor.
They remove each other's damp, heavy clothes and scatter them all over the kitchen, their skin still moist as their bodies tangle together in a game of kitchen love.
Derek pulls her onto the freshly cleaned countertop, her fingers pine through his wet hair as she throws her legs around his waist. His hands hold steadily onto her waist as he pushes inside her. Their kitchen counters were built for this, yet they had never done it. Between being surgeons and being parents, they had missed so many great sex opportunities.
She claws her nails into his shoulders, the second orgasmic wave hitting her in full force, and then she falls forward into his arms, burying her face in his chest. His wet skin presses into hers.
"God, Derek." She catches her breath. "You're amazing."
"Thanks, but I didn't need the ego boost," Derek responds with a gloating smirk on his face. She freezes, and then rolls her eyes. "Kidding, kidding. You are the one who's amazing, Meredith. You're the boat that keeps us afloat. I sink so fast when I'm not in your arms...you have no idea how much I need you, Meredith." She starts to tear up, and she has no idea why, so she blames the stupid pregnancy hormones. Much to her dismay, Derek notices. "Mere, what's wrong?"
"Nothing," she's quick to respond, then the tears start to spill out of her eyes. Derek puts his hand on her shoulder and pulls her into him. "It's just...this is too good to be true. This feels too good to be true. I'm just so happy. I can't remember the last time I was this happy. It's like I forgot what it felt like to be happy."
He rubs her back in a gentle circular motion. "So, you're crying because you're happy?"
"Yeah…" she mutters, rolling her eyes. "It's the stupid hormones…"
"Ah, right," he chuckles.
"You find my hormones funny. They're not! You have no idea what it's like to cry for petty reasons like being happy, Derek! Or other stupid reasons. The other day I cried when I saw a picture of a kitten. A kitten, Derek!"
Derek laughs harder now, and she clenches her fists together, pulling away from him.
"Believe me, it is so not funny," she scowls.
"Oh, but it is," he says, leaning closer to her, but she pulls away.
"No, it's not," she protests, and her eyes land on the sink where some of their remaining dirty dishes remain. Derek already dried and put away the already washed dishes. "Should we finish those?"
"You mean, should I finish those?" Derek asks, sounding unconvinced that Meredith would actually offer to help finish the dishes.
"I could help," she offers sincerely. "I mean, it'll go quicker if I help."
Derek stares at her point blank, clearly surprised by her offer. "I thought you never wanted to do dishes again," he chuckles.
She shrugs. "I don't, but I'll do anything with you. Extraordinary together rather than ordinary apart, remember?"
He laughs at that. "Okay, then. Let's be extraordinary together and finish these dishes." His eyes sparkle as he tosses her the drying towel and lifts the handle to refill the sink.
Together - both still completely naked - they finish washing the dishes. Another first. They've never been able to so freely walk around together without clothes. Whenever they had sex, aside from the bedroom or bathroom, they were always quick to put clothes back on. There were the roommates, and now the kids. They've never had this kind of freedom to just walk around naked.
She inhales deeply, ravishing in the surreal moment as she and Derek's eyes never unlock, even as he scrubs the food residue from the pots and pans and she dries them. This moment is too dreamy. She feels like she must be dreaming.
"Pinch me," she says aloud as she puts the last pot in the cabinet.
"Why?" Derek laughs, wrapping his arms around her nakedness, his palms landing on her completely exposed bump.
"Because I'm pretty sure I'm dreaming," she says, falling freely into his sturdy arms. She rests her head against his chest and listens to the soothing sounds of his heart beating, and she exhales slowly, tranquility having already emasculated all of her worries.
"Must be an interesting dream: doing dishes in the nude," Derek teases.
"Oh, it is," she giggles.
Derek's smile is bright, his eyes sparkling. The warmth of his body presses against hers, and she feels content.
He can't remember the last time Meredith clung to him like this. It's usually the other way around: him clinging to her. He likes clingy Meredith, though. For the first time in a real long time, he feels like he's really wanted and loved by his wife. It's been a long time since he's felt this loved.
They will be okay. Now that he's home for good, they can be okay. His family and marriage is far more important than a government-based job. Anything that takes him away from the family he worked so hard to create simply isn't worth it.
He remembers how hard it was to even get Meredith to go on a date with him. Then once he finally got her, Addison showed up and ruined everything. He made the mistake of not telling Meredith about Addison. He's made a lot of mistakes, choosing not to tell her stuff. He's tried to shield her from the truth, in withering attempts to protect her from pain, or to prevent him from losing her. In the end, he's only caused her more hurt.
He's not going to do it anymore. He's done shielding her. She's right, he needs to trust her, he needs to be completely honest with her. Omission is still a form of lying, and he doesn't want to lie anymore. He doesn't want to lie to anyone anymore, especially her. She's the love of his life, and he needs to show her that. He needs to do everything in his power to prove it to her.
"Mmm," he breathes passionately into her ear, his eyes catching a glimpse of their wet clothes scattered on the hardwood floor. "I guess there's no point in getting dressed again," he says in a low, teasing voice, also thinking that now might be a good time to start laundry. The hamper in their bedroom was full, and he imagines the kids' might be full too. He figures Meredith hasn't had much time to do laundry, either, between the hospital and running after the kids.
"I guess not." Meredith's eyes glimmer.
"Maybe you should put a robe or something on?" he suggests.
"Why?" She wrinkles her nose, and he can't deny her adorableness. She wriggles out of his arms, crosses her arms together and shivers. "I never get to walk around the house naked, and tonight might be the only chance I ever get."
"It's just...I don't want the baby to get cold, and you're shivering," he insists as he opens up his arms and pulls her back into his chest. She leans her ear against his shoulder, hugging him tightly.
"I'm not cold now," she says, even though her skin is freezing, and he traces her goosebumps with his fingers. "Not when I have my own personal furnace."
Derek laughs at that, glancing at the clothes on the floor again. "I was thinking I should start laundry. I wouldn't want our clothes to get moldy, and I noticed the hamper was full."
"I haven't done laundry this week," she admits. "There just aren't…"
"Enough hours in the day," he completes her sentence. "I know, Meredith. I get it."
"Well, we did put laundry room sex on the list," she teases.
He stares at her. "We can't cross everything off our list tonight, then we won't have anything left for tomorrow."
"We'll add to the list, then," she replies confidently. "And we need to cross as much off as we can before I turn into a watermelon, remember?"
"I thought you said you were going to be a pumpkin?" Derek asks, taking advantage of his wife's inconsistent pregnancy metaphors to tease her.
"Watermelon, pumpkin, whatever! They're the same thing. They both make my bladder the size of a grape!"
They laugh together. Derek doesn't tell her, but he secretly can't wait until she's the size of a watermelon or pumpkin. He can't wait to explore her large, swollen belly, and to feel their baby kicking. He can't wait to relive all those moments they had when Bailey was growing inside of her. Those were some of the happiest moments of their relationship, and knowing they'll get to experience it all again truly feels like a blessing, considering it wasn't too long ago that one healthy pregnancy seemed out of the realm of possibility. Now Meredith is pregnant again, and they are going to get to do it all over again. He can't begin to describe the elation and gratitude he feels in this moment.
He collects the wet clothes from the floor and heads into the bedroom to collect the rest of the dirty clothes. Meredith trails right behind him, though she immediately disappears into the bathroom when they enter the bedroom.
"Meredith, what are you…?" His heart starts to speed. He hopes she isn't vomiting. She didn't look nauseous. She did mention her bladder, though.
A few moments later, he hears the water run, and then she reappears in her purple bathrobe like he'd suggested.
She rolls her eyes, crossing her arms together. "You were right. I'm cold, and I can't hold onto you while you're doing laundry." He laughs, picking up the hamper and carrying it into the laundry room. Meredith follows after him.
As he sorts through the white and colors, his fingers find the oversized I love Derek shirt he'd noticed when he changed earlier.
Meredith blushes when she sees him studying the tag of the striped shirt.
She'll never forget when she first laid eyes on the shirt. She definitely wasn't seeking it out.
Last week, Zola needed a new pair of tights to go with the new dress Amelia had bought her, so she'd made a quick trip to Gordmans, planning to just be in and out. In the midst of her journey through the aisles, the unmissable tag had caught her eye, like it was fate or whatever.
She never even bothered looking at the size. Bailey was fussing in her arms, and she wanted to get out of the store as quickly as possible, and she'd had a moment where all she could think about was how she wanted Derek with her, so she'd just grabbed the first shirt one the rack then headed for the check-out line. It wasn't until she got home that she realized the shirt was two sizes too big.
She'd decided there was no point in returning it, since it wouldn't be long before she would need it as a maternity shirt anyway. It also was purchased around the time she'd realized she was starting to show, so it was a win-win situation, because baggy shirts definitely helped hide her growing bump.
Derek's eyes sparkle into hers and he grins. "Really, I'm flattered," he chortles.
"Don't be an ass," she playfully taps his shoulder with her fist.
"Did they have an I love Meredith shirt, by chance?" he asks with a genial smile on his face. He adds, winking, "Because I want that shirt."
Butterflies swarm her stomach, and all she can do is smile as she watches him finish filling the washer. She picks up the detergent to hand it to him, but he quickly takes it from her.
"You shouldn't be lifting that," he insists, and she rolls her eyes.
"It's not that heavy," she protests. "And I've been lifting it with you away."
"But I'm not away anymore, so you don't have to. I'm going to take care of you, Meredith. You and the kids. All three of them, I promise," he tells her, reaching out his hand and petting her abdomen. She normally hates the hovering and Derek's constant need to protect her. But right now, her heart feels so full. The idea that Derek is here, is really here and isn't going anywhere, is boggling her mind. Her heart is too full, her thoughts too muddled for her to be mad at Derek's overprotectiveness.
"Okay," is all she can say, smiling hesitantly, still trying to wrap her mind around all of this. Derek is home. He's really home. It sounds so glorious in her mind as she replays the sentence in her mind. Derek's jolly laugh warms her heart as she watches him pour the detergent into the washer.
Before he turns the dial, though, she can't help herself from wrapping her arms around him from behind, and pulling him close.
"Mmm, what's that for?" he asks in response to her hug.
"For being here," she whispers, not wanting to take hands off him.
He turns toward her. His warm, vibrant grin makes her melt on the inside.
"I can't imagine being anywhere else," is his response, before he leans forward and kisses her. She moves her palms up his biceps, eventually reaching the crook of his neck. She kisses his lips, and then his cheek, and then his clavicle.
"Mmm, laundry sex?" she murmurs into his ear, adding with confidence, "It's on the list."
He chuckles at that. "You're taking this list pretty seriously, huh?"
"I am," she flickers her eyebrows, smirking as he pulls her closer and his hands feel all over her body. His lips lightly press against her clavicle and a soft moan elicits from her lips. He tugs at her bathrobe rope.
"Still cold?" he murmurs, loosening her rope.
"Not at all," she replies, her arms wrapping around his neck, and her robe falls to the floor. He springs her into his arms, then pushes her on top of the fully loaded washer, supporting her knees with his palms.
After round three, Meredith's entire body is buzzing with radiating warmth. Derek's hands rest on her hips, and his sparkling blue eyes dazzle her with an enchanting gaze. She catches her breath, exhaling slowly.
"We should probably start the washer." His eyes dart toward the dial, which is still set to "Off."
She laughs. "We should."
Though she's not sure if she can fully stand up without collapsing. Her legs feel numb. Nonetheless, she pushes herself off the washer, and using Derek's shoulders for support, manages to fend just fine. She collects her robe from the floor and quickly covers herself as a chill sweeps down her spine.
She's now the one hovering over Derek as he starts the washer, listening as the loud gushes of water begin circulating through the machine. She grips onto his arm, his body heat radiating against hers.
"You know what would be perfect?" Meredith whispers into his ear as they leave the laundry room, her warm breath pressing on his eardrum. He notices her arms are still covered in goosebumps, so he keeps his arm wrapped around her, hoping to transfer as much of his body heat to his wife as possible. Even with the goosebumps, though, her cheeks are glowing. Possibly showing off a perfect combination of pregnancy glow and sex glow.
"What's that?" he asks as they enter the living room together, his arm wrapped securely around her shoulders, his thumb massaging her deltoid muscle.
"A bubble bath," she answers definitively, her eyes widening with excitement as she cocks her head so their eyes lock.
"A bubble bath," he echoes, a wide smile coming upon his face.
"Yeah," she breaks free from his embrace and nods eagerly.
"A bubble bath it is, then," he chuckles, delightfully pulling her right back into his arms and then lifting her feet off the ground as she giggles uncontrollably.
God, he's missed this version of his wife. Her infectious laugh and smile rubs off on him, so he can't help but laugh and smile along with her.
Their bodies are enclosed by bubbles. Meredith adjusts herself in the tub, reclining comfortably into Derek's lap. Her eyes met the flickering candlelights. Derek had gone the extra mile and had moved the candles from the dining room table into the bathroom, setting up the perfect romantic scenery for their bubble bath.
She allows herself to sink into his embrace under the suds of bubbles, relaxing in the warm, savory bath that happens to also include Derek. Two of her favorite indulgences: bubble baths and McDreamy. She feels her heart rate slowing, and her body entering a complete state of relaxation. In this very moment, her mind is completely at ease.
Months' worth of struggles are finally gone. Derek is here, in her bath, and he's here to stay, and she's happy. She's really happy. Maybe she's still disappointed in him for getting himself fired, but she's too selfish to be upset. She doesn't want him to leave her side ever again. Not even to go back to DC to get his things. She can't bear to spend another moment apart from him.
They've never been those people: the people that call each other every moment of every day, the couple who text non-stop all day. Even when they worked in the same hospital, there were days they didn't see each other, and she was fine with that. They're both busy doctors who have lives to save.
Right now, though, the thought of not knowing exactly where Derek is, and what he's doing, terrifies her. She doesn't want him to leave her again, and she certainly doesn't want him to have to fly back to DC on his own.
She wants to cry when she thinks about how fortunate they are. Many couples who've gone through what she and Derek have never recover. She thinks of Callie and Arizona, for example. Arizona went to Africa for a period, and they broke up...and got back together...and broke up. They've been on and off again more times than Meredith can count in her head.
Over the last months, she can't count the number of times she thought that she and Derek were on the verge of being over for good. It scared her to think that, and many of those times she'd convinced herself she would be better without him. Without the drama. Without the pain. Without it all.
But she was wrong. So, so wrong.
Because you can't experience joy without pain.
"Mmm," Derek hums into her ear, breaking her thoughts. "What are you thinking?"
She swallows thickly, intertwining her fingers with his beneath the bubbles. The warmth rejuvenates her body. "I was just thinking," she begins softly, "that we're so blessed, Derek."
"Hmm?" She feels his hot breath on her neck. "We are, aren't we?"
Derek knows Meredith isn't a religious person, and to be honest, he didn't even know the word blessed was in her vocabulary. Yet, he can't think of a better word to describe how he feels right now: Blessed. They are, indeed, blessed.
He has everything he's ever wanted in life. It's right here, in Seattle. Meredith and the kids are everything. They're everything he used to dream about when he was a kid. Growing up, his dream was to become the father that was taken away from him at such a young age. He wants to give his kids everything that was stolen from him and his sisters.
Changing the face of medicine was never his dream, but watching his kids grow up... that's everything. That's his dream.
"You...and the kids, Meredith. You're everything to me," he tells her. "I'm going to do everything in my power to prove that to you. I promise. I don't want to break anymore promises to you and the kids. I want to be here. I need to be here."
She's silent when he says that, and then out of nowhere, she blurts: "I don't want you to go back alone. I want to go with you."
"What?" It takes him a minute to realize that she's talking about when he has to go back to DC to pack up his stuff. This bliss had clouded his memory of the fact he has to go back to gather his stuff.
"When you go back to DC, I'm going too. Maybe we can take the kids. Make a weekend trip out of it," Meredith suggests, taking an earlier thought he'd had right out of his head.
"And we could take the train up to see Mom, or maybe she could meet us in DC," Derek adds, suddenly liking this idea very much and he's happy to hear that she's game for it too.
"Oh, the kids will love to see their grandmother again," Meredith says. "And they should see her."
"Mom will be ecstatic. I'll call her tomorrow."
"It'll be fun," she responds happily.
He wraps his arms around his beautiful wife and pulls her as close as he's able, overwhelmed with gratitude just to have her. He's so lucky to have found Meredith, and he needs her to know exactly what she means to him. He was lost in the wind, but she saved him. She's saved him more than once.
First, after he found Addison in bed with Mark. He felt like his life was over, like he was worthless and he had virtually no reason to believe in true love. He'd given up hope when he'd moved to Seattle, having full intentions of living life alone and never opening his heart to anyone ever again, in order to protect himself from feeling that kind of pain again.
And then he saw her, and his entire world turned upside down. There was something about her mystical, blue-green eyes that grasped his attention, that turned his world upside down. The minute he looked into her eyes, though, he knew there was no going back. He needed to know her.
Of course he couldn't have foreseen that she would end up being his resident. He could have easily had a one night stand with her, though, and have never seen her again. When he saw her walking toward him on that morning at Seattle Grace Hospital, in her light blue scrubs and intern lab coat, he knew it was destiny or something. He was supposed to know her. Student or not.
It was fate. It had to be. They've been through Hell and back, but here they are, in this bathtub in the house they built from scratch, and he feels like they are stronger than they've ever been. He believes together they can conquer the world.
"Meredith," he says softly.
"Yeah?"
"Thank you," is all he says, his voice gentle and genuine.
"For what?"
"For choosing me. Ever since you came into my life, I've had a constant light, a constant guide to keep on living and to become a better person. Meredith, you are the sun, because without you, I would be nothing at all."
Meredith is speechless and slightly floored to hear those words come from Derek's mouth. She waits for someone to pinch her, to wake her up from this amazing dream she's having. No one does, though her eyes are quite heavy. She feels like she might be able to fall asleep right here in the bathtub in Derek's arms.
"I'm glad I chose you," she says softly, before her mouth stretches into a loud yawn. "I couldn't imagine choosing anyone else."
"I love you," he whispers into her ear.
"I love you, too," she yawns again.
"You're sleepy, aren't you?" he asks, running his fingers through her damp hair.
"Exhausted," she confirms, in the midst of yet another yawn.
"We should get some sleep," he suggests, yawning himself.
She's glad her knight in shining whatever is home.
Irene's A/N: Everything that was here to say, Nicole said it first. She wrote this incredible chapter, healing my heart a little bit. And that's what we'll keep doing now that we don't have them on the show anymore, they'll keep living in our heads together, forever.
This is where we are going with this story, you know? In spite of all the crap they'll have to go through, you can trust us to keep them together until the end. We (and they!) aren't going anywhere. Hang in there for one more chapter for this Part 1, but be prepared, Part 2 is coming! Thank you for showing up during this sad time.