Part 25 – Barely A Moment
Tam Estate, 2506
A wonderful morning, followed by a wonderful afternoon. A soft, sweet breeze whistles through the trees, and the sun casts a warm golden blanket over the land.
Regan, Gabriel and their children enjoy the sun as it begins to slowly set. Gabriel and Regan lounge together, swinging back and forth on the garden seat. Simon and River are playing.
"I wish it could always be like this..." Regan smiles. Gabriel raises her hand and kisses it.
The peace is broken by the soft metallic swoosh of the back door as it opens, and then closes.
Regan looks towards her house and sees Mrs Mavel coming towards them.
"Mrs Tam, I'm sorry but...there's a gentleman here...he says he wishes to speak with you."
Gabriel gives his wife a rueful look, and whispers in an undervoice, "Spoke too soon."
Regan shared a look with her husband and got to her feet, "Did he say who he was?"
"He said his name was...Robert Taverley..." she replied, as if she doubted the truth of this, "I've shown him into the red sitting room."
Gabriel watched his wife grow pale and nervous upon the mention of the name.
"Regan? What's the matter?"
She shakes her head, forcing a smile, "It's alright...just stay here with the children. I'll be back in a moment." She gave him an encouraging smile and disappeared into the house.
She walks down the hall, her chest tight with anxiety. Regan stops outside the sitting room door, her hand hovering just above the door handle. For the slightest of moments she contemplats turning back but just like with everything, she throws her heart over and pushes the door open.
Upon her entrance, a man, who had been standing at the window, turned around. He is past his prime, but has about him, an air of vibrant energy and elegance. It shines through his eyes, as young as full of life as they ever were, though they are framed by wrinkles. There is a portliness, around his middle, but his height made this forgivable. He was dressed with a certain degree of gentlemanly nattiness, in a casual cream suit and light blue striped shirt.
"Regan..." a slow smile grows on his face, his voice is cultured and soft, "I had forgotten how beautiful you are." The compliment is excessive and slightly theatrical, but there is no hint of extravagance in his voice. "You know who I am?"
The door slams behind Regan. Her expression has turned to stone. Her voice was just as hard. "As much as I would wish it, it's surprisingly hard to forget the father who abandoned me when I was nine years old." Regan sneered.
Taverley seemed to accept this and shrugged amiably "Cardinal was a good replacement I dare say…he made a better father than I would've ever done."
"What do you want?" Regan demanded without wasting time to hear him. "Is it money?"
"Oh no…I have sufficient funds for my needs, thank you." He said taking her uncharacteristic manifest hostility as a matter of course, "Actually, "I'm here to see my grandchildren."
The implication of those words take a moment for Regan to process. Her fury does not allow her to be silent for long however.
"How dare you?!" Regan hisses venomously, "You don't have the right to even speak of them."
Taverley sighed a little and looked at his hands meditatively, "Come on now Regan... let's be reasonable."
This stops Regan in her tracts. She narrows her eyes dangerously, "Get out." The words fall like heavy stones, straight to the bottom of the well, with a sharp thunk.
"I understand your feelings. And I dare say I deserve nothing better than to be given my marching orders, but you have to listen to me Regan-"
"I don't care how many times you apologise...nothing entitles you to even be here!"
He regards her gravely, "I haven't come to ask your forgiveness."
She can only shake her head in reply, overcome with feelings as she is, "You hurt us too many times to make that even remotely possible."
He nods, acknowledging the hit, "I treated you and your mother very badly. I wasn't meant to be a family man," he continues with scholarly reflection, "We were badly matched your mother and I – I was frustrated with it all-"
"Yes, thank you – I was there."
He smiles, "You speak just like her..."
She glares at him challengingly.
"You look like her too – just as lovely." he continues, "But then again your mother made sure you were beautiful. She spent weeks with the doctor deciding your eye colour. She wanted you to be perfect..."
"This is ridiculous..." Regan laughs mirthlessly, "I've already told you, I don't want to see you and I won't allow you to know my children. So just leave..."
"Did you think I didn't love you?" he goes on, ignoring her command.
"What is wrong with you?!" her voice breaks inspite of herself, she stands and moves towards him as if she wants to claw his eyes out. "How can you...?!" she can hardly speak for her anger.
"You're wrong if you think I didn't care. You're my daughter – of course I-"
"Don't you dare say it." She warns him.
He sighs, "I made many mistakes. So many mistakes...but from mistakes, come success..."
"You're speaking nonsense - Is...is this it? You're suffering from some sort of early dementia? This is the reason – you're dying and you've come over all nostalgic-"
He holds a hand up, stemming her speech, "I am dying. But this has nothing to do with me. This is about your children...your daughter..."
"River?"
He takes a breath, looking around the room, at the rich furnishings and expensive antiques. He approves. His gaze alights on a particularly remarkable stiletto. Ancient clearly, a priceless heirloom from earth that was. Gold and encrusted with jewels at the top. He picks it up in his hands and marvels at it.
"Have you ever beheld true perfection, Regan?"
Regan is silent.
He looks at her, "Neither have I." Taverley says softly looking wistful, and puts the stiletto down, "It's a dream you know...a beautiful dream. The human race has come a long way. We have suffered, and like the phoenix we have been born anew...many times over. But we are flawed...my daughter, we are flawed in the most...fundamental ways..."
"There's nothing wrong with being...flawed..." Regan said her mouth feeling numb with fear. "It makes us human."
"Exactly." He voice turns sharp, "But why settle for that, when we have the potential to becomes gods...?"
She doesn't reply, but her eyes are wide with misgiving.
"Regan...we keep climbing, further and further towards the peak of our evolution. We've struggling for millions of years...don't you think it's time science gave us a helping hand?"
"I don't know what sort of sick idea this is – what has this got to do with River?"
"Everything!" Taverley takes her hand, "It has everything to do with her!"
Regan pulls away disgusted. "You're delusional."
He still has that irritatingly amiable smile on his face, he turns to the window, and gestures for her to come closer.
"Look at her Regan."
It takes Regan a moment, before she walks to the window. Simon and his father and throwing a ball back and forth, but little River is in a world of her own. She has her hands out to the side and her face looking up at the sky. And she twirls. Faster and faster, never losing her balance – just in a whirl of endless, blissful, childish joy.
"She is our future. And she's perfect." Taverley looks to his daughter "You were special too Regan...everything that is exceptional. Except you are flawed. Your design, has a kink in it which cannot be worked out. But with your daughter...you put in the last piece of the puzzle and you made it perfect."
Regan's memory jolts.
River.
"An unusual name...but fitting...for an unusual child."
Things fall into place. Other things come crashing down.
"Mistake..." she repeats in a hollow voice, "Before...when you said mistake...I was the mistake?"
"An initial experiment..." he agreed brutally. His manner has changed now. Gone is the loving father, replaced with the fanatical scientist. This is the man that Regan remembers well. And the man, whose vision and determination chills her to the marrow.
She looks away.
"With River we'll do better. But I'll need your help. Let me make her everything she could be. Let me show you the 'verse, the meaning of perfection...embodied in this little child. Isn't that what you've always wanted for your daughter Regan? To become the best she possibly can be?"
"I want her to be happy –" even to her, her voice sounds feeble.
"The best…is what you deserve Regan. And River is going to be magnificent. A person remembered and revered long after her death. I see it in your eyes…it's the future you have chosen for yourself. And it's the future you will choose for your daughter. You just have to trust me with her-"
"You won't…you can't take her away from me." Regan's fear is evident in her voice.
"And we won't…yet."
Regan shook her head, "I won't give her up."
"Then you'd be depriving us all of something glorious. Don't be selfish Regan. I know you're angry. You wished it had been you. But it's not…the universe has a plan for us all…it was just not in yours to become…Regan please…."
"How dare you imply that I would sacrifice my child to my own vanity?!" she looks fit to murder him right then and there.
Taverley retreats, "You can keep her…raise her until it's time for her to come away with us. Give her all the advantages any daughter of yours would enjoy, but when the time comes Regan, it would be better if you let her with us willingly. We wouldn't want any unnecessary…violence."
He turns his head, and Regan feels an iciness take over her body, rigid with fear – as she follows his line of sight which comes to rest on Simon who plays with his sister.
"No…no you wouldn't-"
"Nothing will happen to him…as long as you do your part."
Regan has never hated anyone more than she hates Robert Taverley at this moment. He just looks at her with that impassive face of his. This is the face of man who has hurt her, abandoned her, asked too much of her and then left her in the gutter. And yet, she believes his every word. Every, terrible, word.
It is a mere second. Barely a moment. But a single gap in time and space that will decide the future. The future of everything.
A mere second. Barely a moment. Forever.
"Promise me you won't hurt them..." Her voice has lost its anger. It is a plead for hope. "Promise me..."
Robert Taverley is rocked off balance for the first time during this interview. He was prepared for anger, and hostility. Whatever guilt he has is assuaged by the stings and barbs she throws his way. But this is not the Regan he knows. This is a daughter, pleading to her father for reassurance.
He takes a step towards her but stops short. When he next speaks, he speaks as her father - "As long as there is breath in my body they will not be harmed. This is your sacrifice alone Regan...Simon and River will not suffer for it. But they won't let her go...even if it means holding your son's life for ransom."
He turns and begins to walk to the door, ready to take his leave, but before doing so, he pauses, and says to her, "I know you love your children Regan– but if you want to avoid breaking their hearts, I suggest that you make sure they don't love you back. It's less of a shock to be betrayed by someone you hate than someone you love – isn't it?"
Regan meets his gaze. Her anger has rekindled and returned full force. "Don't you ever come back here. Or I swear to God, I will kill you with my bare hands." Her voice is barely above a whisper but her strength is blinding.
He nods, and leaves without another word. So quickly, does he disappear that for some moments afterwards Regan wonders whether he was ever there.
The scamper of feet down the hall. Before she can react, the door flies open.
"Mama!" River has come back into the house, in search of her mother. "Mama!" the child runs across the room into her mother's warm embrace.
Regan folds her in a crushing embrace. Only when River makes a noise of protest does she releases her. Only then does she realise she is crying.
"Don't cry Mama..." River reaches out and wipes her mother's porcelain cheek with a small warm hand, "He's gone now..."
River is looking at her with so much trust. So much love that it kills her. The tenuous hold she has on herself snaps and she cries out, "Oh God..." Regan collapses, "Oh God...River, I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry,"
Her mother's pain, distresses River, who tries to comfort her. But instead of accepting the soft touch, her mother tears herself away and runs out of the room.
Later, when Simon enters the sitting room, followed closely by his father, both having come in search of Regan, they instead find River, tears staining her cheeks, sitting meditatively on the floor in the middle of the room, her arms hugging her knees.
"Darling," Gabriel goes to her, "Where is your Mama?"
River raises her eyes to his. For a moment she says nothing. As if not understanding the question. But then, she looks past her father, at Simon who is looking at his sister with bewilderment and she smiles – a smile that her brother, nor her father will ever understand and says in a voice which does not seem quite her own,
"She's letting me go."
THE END
A/N: The fic has been ages in the making. I don't know why it's taken me this long to come to the point, but I hope it wasn't too anti-climatic. I have endeavoured to tie up all the loose ends left hanging by previous chapters and hope you have enjoyed reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it! Please comment!! I love feedback.