BPOV

I woke up the next morning feeling even more tired than before I went to bed. No real surprise there, seeing how I hadn't gotten much sleep during the night. No nightmares, at least not that I could remember, but I had been tossing and turning most of the night, unable to relax and find a comfortable position. And my mind had kept wandering.

Edward had been in my thoughts constantly since he dropped me off outside my house yesterday. I kept wondering what he was doing, if he was okay, and I had nearly called him about a dozen times, just to check on him. But in the end, I had decided against it, as I figured he could probably need some time and space.

And to be perfectly honest, I needed some time as well, to process everything. So instead of calling, I had settled for sending him a text message, just telling him I hoped he was all right and that I'd see him soon. I had also added that he could call me anytime he wanted to - which he already knew, but I felt it was worth repeating. And then I had waited for his response.

It never came.

I had kept my phone in the bed - next to my pillow - just so I wouldn't miss Edward's reply. But the damn thing had remained silent throughout the night. Needless to say, I was in a miserable mood. Why wouldn't he respond? Didn't he realize I was worried about him?

It was still early - merely seven-thirty in the morning, and it was Sunday - but I couldn't bring myself to stay in bed another minute. So I dragged myself up and out of my room, and headed for the bathroom, hoping a long, hot shower would make me feel better. I almost called Edward then, but figured he was probably sleeping. And either way, he obviously didn't want to talk to me.

Yes, I realized I was being irrational. Edward had probably just turned off his phone last night. He must have been every bit as worn out and exhausted as I was, if not more. Things had been intense, to say the very least. I just hoped that was the case, and that he wasn't avoiding me because he was ashamed or anything.

The thought of Edward pushing me away again was almost too painful to bear.

While the shower was nice, it didn't do much to improve my mood. And things just seemed to go downhill from there. On my way out of the bathroom, I managed to stumble on the threshold and stub my toe. After limping back into my room, I started to get dressed, only to find that my favorite pair of jeans had gotten a hole in them.

I angrily tossed them away and stomped over to the dresser in search for something else to wear. Ten minutes later, I entered the kitchen, and almost walked right into Charlie, who was busy packing his fishing bag. He looked up, frowning when he saw my grim expression. "Morning, Bells. Woke up on the wrong side today?"

"Just tired," I muttered, failing to stifle a yawn. "Didn't sleep very well." Seeing the concerned look on his face, I quickly changed the subject, "Going fishing, huh?"

He nodded. "I'll probably be away most of the day. Will you be okay by yourself?"

I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes, what was I - twelve? "Of course."

"Good." He sounded relieved, and I couldn't help but wonder what he had expected me to do. Throw myself on the floor and beg him to stay? Realizing I sounded bitter, even in my head, I took a deep breath and silently counted to five. Then I put on a strained smile. Charlie closed the bag and put on his fishing hat, looking so silly I had to smile for real. "Well, I'm leaving. Oh, and don't forget to call Phil."

My smile disappeared.

Five minutes after Charlie had left, I was still standing on the same spot, in the same position, considering my options. Unfortunately, I came up blank. I realized I should just make the call and get it over with. A part of me felt a bit bad, knowing Phil had to be looking forward to hearing from me. After all, I had barely talked to him since I moved here, aside from an occasional email.

We had been pretty close once, and I knew he was probably missing me a lot. In a way, I missed him as well. And yet, I dreaded making this phone call.

After debating with myself for another couple of minutes, I finally told myself to stop being such a baby, and picked up the phone. I nearly laughed when I noticed how my fingers were trembling, but somehow managed to dial the number. The signals went through, and I found myself hoping he wouldn't be home.

Of course, I wasn't that lucky.

"Hello?"

I immediately recognized Phil's voice, and struggled to sound cheerful. "Hi, Phil. It's Bella."

"Bella!" He sounded genuinely happy to hear it was me, and I instantly felt guilty for not calling him more often. After all, he was all alone now. "It's so good to hear from you. How are you?"

"I'm okay." Hesitating a little, I then asked, "How are you?" My voice sounded polite, too polite, and I cringed, hoping he wouldn't notice. There was a time when I had been able to talk to Phil about almost everything, and now, it just felt awkward and forced.

He was quiet for a moment. "Honestly, the last couple of months have been tough, but I don't have to tell you that."

No, you really don't, I thought, closing my eyes for a moment. An image of my mom's smiling face flashed through my mind, and I snapped my eyes open again, biting my tongue to keep from letting out a sob. God, how I missed her. This was the reason why I avoided talking to Phil these days. He reminded me too much of when my mother had still been alive.

I could hear him clear his throat. "So, how's school up in Forks? Kids treating you well?"

"Sure." I was relieved - it seemed to be a safe enough subject. "I've made some really great friends."

"That's good. I'm glad." A pause. "Listen, Bella, how would you feel about coming home to Phoenix next weekend? It's been so long, I was hoping we could spend some time together."

I suppressed a sigh, knowing this would come up. "My home is in Forks now, Phil," I told him quietly, avoiding his question.

"Oh. Of course. I didn't mean it like..." He hesitated. "Bella, I'm just asking you to come for a visit. I miss you, kiddo."

"Well..." I bit my lip. "I'm sorry, but I've already made plans for the next weekend." Before he could object, I went on, "Actually, I have a lot going on right now. It's not really a good time." I paused. "Maybe I could come down a couple of days when school's out for the summer. The we can-"

Phil cut me off, "Bella, I'm selling the house. I'll be moving out by the end of next month. So if you want to-"

"What?!" It was my turn to interrupt. "What are you talking about, Phil? You can't sell Mom's house!"

"Bella..." He suddenly sounded very tired. "Don't take this the wrong way, but you chose to leave. Now, I understand why, and I don't blame you. But I'm asking you to put yourself in my situation. It's hard, living alone with all the memories. There's just nothing left for me here. I need to move on, just like you."

"But..." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. The house in Phoenix was where I grew up. I still had some of my stuff there. Not that I wanted to live there anymore, not after what happened, but it felt good to know I could go back some day if I really wanted to. Losing the house would be like losing a part of myself.

Or losing the last connection to my mom. I let out a shuddering breath, feeling a headache coming up. Luckily, I had a spare bottle of painkillers down here. There were times when it made me feel like a pathetic addict, but right now, it was a blessing. "Phil, please don't do this."

"I have to." He was starting to sound annoyed, which surprised me. Phil barely ever raised his voice. He was patience personified - a necessary quality when dealing with Renee. They had been perfect for each other. His words there's nothing left for me here suddenly tore at my heart, because I realized he was right. My mom had been his world. And now he had nothing.

Still, I couldn't accept his decision. I knew I was being selfish, but I couldn't help myself. "Just give it some time," I all but pleaded. "I mean, you've got friends in Phoenix, right. You're not alone. Just wait a couple of months, and-"

"I've already waited long enough." I could tell by the sound of his voice that his mind was already made up, and it scared me. Phil continued, "I'm sorry, Bella, but it's happening. I'm selling the house. If you want to see it one more time, and get what's left of your belongings, then I suggest you make some room in your schedule pretty soon."

"You asshole!" I exploded, unable to keep the fury from welling up inside me. "I hate you, Phil! How can you do this to me, and to Mom! She loved that house. She..." A sob escaped my throat, and I couldn't go on.

"Bella, I'm not doing this to hurt you. Listen to me..." Phil sounded totally shocked by my outburst, and I couldn't blame him; I had never spoken to him this way before. But it was just becoming too much. I had been in a bad place even before talking to him, and his news had somehow become the last straw.

Phil was still talking, rapidly, on the other end - without doubt trying to calm me down - but I didn't want to hear anymore. So I disconnected the call without a word, and angrily threw the phone away from me. It started ringing almost immediately, but I ignored it, knowing it was Phil calling me back. I'd most likely call him later and apologize, but right now, I desperately needed to get out of the house.

Before I lost it completely.

Five minutes later, I was driving my truck through town, raindrops falling on the windshield. Somehow, the weather seemed to be linked with my mood, and I wanted to cry more than ever. I briefly considered calling Edward, really wanting to hear his voice, but I didn't want to bother him with my petty problems. God knew he had more than enough to deal with already.

I rarely allowed myself to think too much about what happened to my mother. It was just too painful. I preferred to remember the good parts, not dwelling on what her face had looked like when... Shaking my head, I struggled to clear my thoughts. Not going there.

It suddenly hit me that I had somehow ended up outside the Cullen's large house, despite my intentions to give Edward some space. Hesitating for a couple of minutes, I then turned off the engine and jumped out of the truck, deciding I could always hang out with Alice if she was home. And why wouldn't she be? It was not even nine o'clock yet.

Who was I kidding? It was Edward I wanted to be with right now, not Alice. I took a deep breath, and rang the doorbell.

I didn't have to wait long before the door swung open, and Emmett was standing in the doorway with a frown on his face. When he saw it was me, he gave me a tentative grin. "Morning, Bella. Here to scold me?"

Blinking in confusion, I shook my head. "Why would I...?" Then I stopped as it occurred to me that the few times Emmett and I had actually been having a conversation, I had mostly been giving him a hard time about Edward. I blushed, recalling my accusations about him not caring about his brother. "Look, Emmett, I-"

"Relax, Bella, I'm just messing with you." He chuckled. "Wanna come in?"

"Sure, thanks." He took a step back, allowing me to enter, and I stepped inside. "Um, is Edward or Alice around? I kind of need to talk to someone."

Emmett raised a brow. "You telling me I'm not good enough?"

My eyes widened in horror, and I hurried to stutter an apology. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean..." My voice trailed off as I noticed his amused expression - apparently, he was still messing with me. I tried to smile, but it felt strained. Holding back a sigh, I realized I was definitely off balance this morning, and decided to do my best to stay cool from now on.

"Bella!" I spun around at the sound of Alice's excited voice, watching as she came bouncing down the stairs with a huge smile on her face.

She rushed over to me and threw her arms around me. Unfortunately, the friendly gesture was all it took for my resolve to crumble. My bottom lip started trembling, although I forced myself to put on a brave smile. "I'm sorry to just show up like this, I didn't mean to impose. I-I can leave if you want."

Alice's smile disappeared, and her face turned concerned. "Bella, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, really," I mumbled, realizing by the skeptical look on her face that she didn't believe me, and sighed. "I'm just having a really bad day."

"The day's barely started," Alice pointed out, giving me a sympathetic smile.

I rolled my eyes. "Don't remind me. I just want it to be over, so I can curl up in my bed and sleep for a year."

"Aw, Bella..." Emmett walked up to me and patted my shoulder a few times, leaned in and whispered - not too discreetly, "It's that time of the month, isn't it?"

"Emmett!" Alice shouted, glaring at her brother. "My God, were you raised in a barn? You can't just go around asking girls if they're PMS-ing!" Then she glanced at me. "It's nothing to be ashamed of, Bella. You know what always works for me? Yoga! I have this book up in my room..."

I couldn't help it - it was just so ridiculous - I burst out laughing. At least it started out as laughter. But soon, much to my horror, I realized I was crying. And what was even worse - I couldn't seem to stop. Alice and Emmett immediately became silent, staring at me in shock.

"I think she's losing it," Emmett mumbled to Alice.

"Shut up!" Alice hissed, taking a hesitant step towards me. "Bella, Emmett's an ass; don't listen to him. I think Mom dropped him on his head when he was a baby. It would explain a lot."

"Hey!" Emmett protested, clearly not pleased with the insult.

Now I was laughing and sobbing at the same time. Emmett was starting to look very nervous, and I couldn't blame him. In fact, I half expected him to run out of the room, waving his arms in the air and screaming in terror about crazy, hysterical women. The mental picture made me sink to the floor, howling with laughter.

"Okay, this is getting creepy, even for me," I heard Alice mutter somewhere above my head. "Emmett, go get Edward."

I sobered up immediately at the mention of Edward's name. "No, no, no, not Edward! You shouldn't bother him. He doesn't want to talk to me. I texted him last night, and he never... he never..." The floodgates opened again, and new tears spilled down my cheeks. God, I really was losing it. I felt beyond embarrassed.

"Bella, come on." Alice tugged gently at my arm, pulling me to my feet and all but dragging me over to the couch. I sniffled pathetically as I slumped back against the cushions. She sat down next to me. "Talk to me. What's this all about?"

I let out a groan. "God, I feel so stupid. You must think I'm an idiot."

"Of course not." Alice shook her head, firmly. "But Bella, I'm kind of worried right now. What the hell happened?"

Before I got the chance to respond - and I didn't even know where to begin - Edward came rushing down the stairs, Emmett in tow. "Bella?" There was a hint of panic in his voice. "What's wrong?" He came to a halt a few feet away, obviously not sure whether or not to come any closer.

My heart skipped a beat at the sight of Edward. His hair was toussled, like he was coming straight from bed. I even thought I saw pillow marks on his face. Yet he looked absolutely gorgeous, as always. And here I was, with red-rimmed eyes, blotchy cheeks and a snotty nose. I had never felt less attractive in my life. In that moment, I wished the floor would just open up and swallow me.

"Bella?" he repeated, somewhat uncertainly, and I realized he had asked me a question - which I had yet to answer. Too bad my brain wasn't fully functioning at the moment.

"I'm okay," I mumbled, feeling even more humiliated by the minute. I'm just making a fool of myself. Again.

Alice's eyes narrowed. "Bella, you're not okay. You were crying a moment ago, and I wanna know what's going on. Please, just tell me..." Her voice trailed off as Edward suddenly stepped forward, stopped right in front of me, and held out his hand without a word.

At first, I just looked at him in confusion. He tilted his head to the side, then nodded towards the stairs and raised a brow in a silent question. Finally snapping out of it, I took Edward's hand and allowed him to pull me up from the couch. He led me across the living room and up the stairs, leaving Alice and Emmett to stare after us.