XXXVII

Soma

"How are you feeling?" My father's voice echoed in my head.

I tried to open my eyes to see him, but found that I couldn't. I was in some place warm, that much I could tell. There was no ground to be felt, and my breaths were more laboured than usual. It felt like I was underwater, as strange as that was.

My mother answered. "Fine… And physically well too. I can't wait for your birth…"

It was the same thing as the video before. My mother asked for Sakaki, there was a birth charm, good wishes… But she added something that wasn't caught on camera, something only between the two of us.

"You…will bring joy to this world. Protect everyone from…the Aragami…"

The warmth faded, replaced by the harsh voice of the Director. "You were born to rid the world of all Aragami. Listen to me… Exterminate them all!"

Now they were taunts, whispered in disapproving tones, reminding me that I wasn't human.

"His basal metabolism is abnormally high, compared to that of normal children…"

"That boy…he needed 8 stitches for that injury…but the wound healed by the next day! He can't be human…"

"H-He has acute hearing, too…so be careful what you say, or the doctor will be angry with you."

"So, um… Is there anyone from his squad who's survived?"

"I'd rather not team up with that one if I can help it."

"In the last few days, Eric and Lindow have been killed, right? That's beyond crazy."

"Hey…hey…the doctor told me that your mother died…because of you…"

Shit! Get me out of here!

I was suddenly awake, being shaken violently.

"Dammit!" I swore, and the shaking stopped. I noticed Song jumping back, surprised by my sudden awakening. She must have been the one to wake me up.

"Oh!" Alisa was just as surprised as Song and more than a little angry. "R-really, you shouldn't scare people like that!"

All three of them were looming over me. As I fully awoke I remembered where I was: sitting, back against the wall of the shack that served as the starting point for the Tranquil Temple. Our mission was to take down a Borg Camlann, if I remembered right.

"Seemed like you were having a nightmare. Are you OK?" Kota asked amiably.

"Yeah…" I answered, reassured now that the dream was gone. My God Arc was at my side, and with it I could fight real terrors, not the cowardly ones that came to me in sleep.

"Huh? That's not like you, to be so civil!" Kota made his surprise obvious.

"Back off!" I growled. "Just shut up…"

Kota grinned. "That's more like it… You're fine… Come on, let's go!"

He turned around and headed off the platform as Song rolled her eyes. Alisa quickly followed Kota.

I rose to my feet as Song signed: -Are you alright?-

"I'll be fine." I snapped.

She didn't seem convinced. I felt her eyes on my back as I leapt off the platform.

X

In the letter you never wrote to me, you said that you loved me. You said that it wasn't my fault you're dead.

You told me to speak again.

Song growled, ripping the paper from her notepad before crumbling it and tossing it across the room.

"That was good." I told her tiredly. "You shouldn't have thrown it away."

My parents would never say something like that.

Her writing was an angry scrawl, so unlike the looping, neat letters her writing usually resembled.

I took the notepad from her hands, tore that paper out and repeated her action. The crumbled ball joined the many others littering the floor. It was a stark contrast to the usual cleanliness of Song's room. The only other ruffled things in the room were the blankets on her bed, and that was only because we were lying down on it.

"Again." I commanded.

Song glared at me, but dutifully returned to her notepad. Ever since our deal, she had been grumpy around me. Probably because I was intruding into her room every night now and making her do these exercises until I decided it was enough.

She could have easily avoided it. She could have locked her door, but she never did. It wasn't like I was forcing her to do anything she didn't want to — she'd accepted the deal, after all. Besides, she didn't seem like the type to go back on her word.

That was until she reared back, suddenly sitting up but only after tossing her notepad away. -This isn't working!- She said angrily.

I growled. "It's because you're not letting it work."

She frowned at me, picking up the notepad she'd just tossed. I thought she would start trying again, but instead she flipped it towards me to show what she'd written.

This isn't working. You're not a good teacher.

"I'm not a psychologist!" I snarled. "How the hell am I supposed to know how your head works?!"

She bit back an angry response, calming down.

You're right. Sorry.

I sighed. I thought about apologizing, but decided against it. "So how the hell do we fix this?"

She was silent, obviously. When I looked to her for an answer, she just shrugged, her eyes dropping a little. I glanced at the clock in her room. It said it was shortly after 11 p.m.

"Fine. We'll stop for now and continue this tomorrow."

Song nodded and I let myself out.

A voice interrupted the silence of the hallway.

"Oh ho ho. What are you doing out so late?"

I whirled around, seeing Sakuya about to enter her room. She was looking at me curiously and…somewhat mockingly.

Shit.

"What do you want?" I growled.

"I would like to know exactly why you were in Song's room so late." That little smirk on her face was really pissing me off.

"That's none of your business." I snapped, heading towards my room.

"Oh, come on." Sakuya said sweetly, grabbing my arm to stop me from moving. "You can tell me. I won't tell anyone else."

I frowned at her. Maybe she could be useful. She was a medic, after all, and she was able to figure out Song's disorder. Would she know how to cure it?

"Come on, I'll make some tea and you can tell me all about it."

"Fine." I sighed.

She seemed surprised by my agreement, but a moment later it was replaced by a grin. "Great! Come on in!"

She dragged me to her own room. I sat on her couch while she started to boil some water.

"So are you finally ready to admit to it?" She asked, sitting down beside me.

I glared at her. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh come on! You know, how—"

"Doesn't matter." I snapped, cutting her off before she could say something horrible. "I need your help."

"Girl trouble?" She asked with a little smirk.

"Damn it! Take this seriously!"

To my surprise, she sighed. "Sorry. You're just too cute when you're angry."

I growled at that. She obviously wasn't taking this very seriously.

"Alright, alright." She raised her hands in defeat. "No more teasing. What do you need help with?"

I looked searchingly at her face, relaxing when I realized that she was finally serious. "Song and I made a deal."

Sakuya was silent, waiting for me to continue.

"My end of the deal was that I would teach her to speak again. I've been trying for the last few days, but nothing's working and I'm all out of ideas."

"What's she doing for you?" Sakuya asked.

I frowned at her. "None of your business."

That warranted a raised eyebrow. "I could infer a lot of things from that, Soma." She said with a mocking smile.

"I thought you were being serious now." I reminded her, annoyed and wondering what the hell I was doing here.

"Right." She was back to business again. "So you're trying to teach Song how to speak again. That's quite an ordeal, alright. So you want my advice on how to do it?"

I nodded.

"Well what have you had her do?"

"Not much." I frowned, trying to remember. "For the first couple nights we just talked, mostly about how I wasn't dead. Tonight I tried to get her to write letters about what her parents would have said."

Sakuya didn't seem impressed. "I can see why that didn't work."

I swore. "Well, I'm no psychologist"

"Do you think I am?" Sakuya pointed out gently.

"No." I grumbled.

She smiled. "But I think I have an idea at least. You need to find the exact cause of the disorder and work on easing that."

"It was her parent's death, and then her foster father's death." Why was she asking such an obvious question?

"Then defeating that Borg Camlann and a Quadriga, because I'm pretty sure the missile she described was from a Quadriga, should have cleared it up, right?"

I was surprised. It made sense, but somehow I thought that her problem was deeper than that.

"There's something more, and you need to figure that out before you can fix it."

Something in her expression made me feel like she had an idea of what it was.

"You know, don't you?" I growled.

She smirked slightly. "I have a hunch."

"Tell me." I snapped.

Sakuya just seemed amused, completely unfazed by my anger. "Well then. How about you make a deal with me?"

"A deal?" I gritted my teeth. What was it with women and trying to make crafty deals that only benefitted themselves?!

"Don't worry. It's nothing bad." The amusement never faded from her eyes.

"Our definitions of bad are quite different." I grumbled.

She giggled at that. "Don't worry. You'll be fine. This will be easy for you."

"What is it?" I snapped, wanting her to just get to the point.

"Watch after her."

There was a moment of silence as I tried to process that…but I couldn't. I was expecting some huge, horrible thing, but this was beyond expectation. Watch after her? Wasn't I doing that anyway?

"I don't know why," Sakuya continued, "but I think you're the closest person to Song right now. She might seem friendly, but she only relies on herself. She's put up a shell and she thinks that she doesn't need her teammates for anything — and if she does rely on someone, she thinks it's because of a personal weakness. You're the closest one to her, so I want you to make sure that you're there to help her whenever she needs it."

I was the closest one to her? There was no way. Kota or Alisa were much better friends than I was. But I nodded anyway, thinking that if I protested Sakuya would find a worse deal to make.

"Alright." Sakuya smiled, happy by my agreement. "I already practically said what her real problem is…she doesn't have any trust. She's terrified that people will die because of her — because of a weakness of hers. It's no wonder that she would believe that one simple thing, like a voice, could cause or stop death. She needs that security barrier. She believes that her parents' death was her fault, and the only possible cause was her voice. She doesn't trust people. She thinks that they'll just die. If you can get her to trust in people's ability to live, maybe she'll no longer need that security barrier and she'll speak again."

Phew, another chapter! Hehe. Italy was nice, if a little rainy. Oh well, still lots of fun! The homework after coming back wasn't any fun, though. .

Anyway, till next time! Thank you all for reading!