Chapter 35
The clock on her bedside table had Sara blinking in the darkness. It was a quarter past three in the morning and she was wide awake in bed with a dull headache. Throwing back the covers, she climbed off of her comfortable mattress and ambled into the dimly lit hallway. Grissom was nowhere to be seen, so Sara assumed he went home for some peace until she heard the soft rumble of his snore. Eyes wide, she walked to the open door of the guest bedroom and saw his body splayed out on her old bed. His loafers were by the nightstand, but otherwise, Grissom was fully clothed. She watched him for a long moment and then made her way to Brenda's room to check on her. Unlike Grissom, who seemed to do his best to take up every inch of the mattress, Brenda was curled into a corner of her bed, her comforter kicked off. Sara moved to cover the little girl once more, smoothing her pale hair before tucking it behind her ear and out of her face. She wandered around the room, stopping at the aquarium to lightly tap on the glass, hoping to attract the attention of little Horton. Brenda's desk was orderly as usual and Sara smiled at the preciseness of it all. Everything was just so. She flipped through the little girl's day planner, frowning when she saw a line crossed through 'Trip to NYC with Mom!'
They had been all set to leave that day. They would have touched down in New York on Wednesday afternoon, spent Thursday getting acquainted with the city and Friday celebrating Brenda's tenth birthday. Sara cringed when she realized she had no plans for Brenda's birthday now that they knew they were staying in Las Vegas. She sat down in the girl's desk chair, massaging her temple as she evaluated her situation. Taking Brenda somewhere that Friday was out of the question; she was still too sick and couldn't risk getting worse. And the presents…the trip was meant to be part of Brenda's birthday present, along with the camcorder and a few other trinkets Sara had hoped to pick up in New York. As it was, she had nothing, not even a birthday card to give her daughter.
Exhaling, Sara turned on Brenda's computer -- checking over her shoulder frequently to make sure didn't wake the girl -- and trolled through the internet for gifts to order. The world wide web was entirely too big to tackle without a map, so she referred back to Brenda's day planner for her itinerary. The girl had a list of places she planned on visiting, and Sara scanned it for names of stores. Recognizing the famed FAO Schwarz, she immediately looked it up and found the toy store's website. Sara added the store's signature stuffed bear to her shopping cart, along with a CHEM 2000 kit and a giant Erector space center. After choosing next day air mail, she looked on Brenda's list for another store. Among the museums and landmarks was a doll store Sara had recalled Norah tell Brenda about weeks earlier. After managing to find the site, she spent the next half hour scrutinizing the selection of dolls, finally ending up with one that looked a great deal like Brenda. After furnishing it with several accessories, Sara placed her order and sat back, her anxiety eased a bit. She sighed, clumsily putting the day planner back on the shelf, knocking down some other things in the process.
"Shit!" she whispered loudly, and turned around lightening-fast to see Brenda sigh loudly, scratch her nose, and dig her face in her pillow. Sara licked her lips and picked up the fallen objects, pausing to glance at the label on a DVD.
"Horton and…Gil?" said aloud, confused. The words were indeed in Brenda's handwriting. She found a pair of headphones in the drawer and popped the DVD into the disk drive. For ten minutes, Sara sat watching almost silent footage of her daughter's bright orange goldfish explore his tank. She heard a knock at the door and immediately glanced at Brenda's doorway. It was empty. Looking back at the screen, Sara realized the sounds were coming from the home movie.
"Brenda?" came Grissom's voice softly from the hallway.
The camera jerkily swayed from the fish to the door. Brenda's could be heard but not seen. "Come in."
The door opened slightly and Grissom peeked his head in. "Um…oh, good. You're dressed. Well, um…it's eight o'clock and we'll be picking up your mom in a few hours. There's, uh…not much food in the kitchen so I thought we could go to the store and pick some stuff up."
"Okay."
Grissom pressed his lips together. His hair looked wet, as if he had showered, but he was wearing the clothes he wore Monday night. She guessed they stopped at his home at one point on the way to pick her up from the hospital so he could change. Sara watched him nervously run a hand through his wet hair; she could see he was more than uncomfortable. "Do you want some breakfast?"
"No." The camera turned back to the fish.
Sara half expected that to be the end of it. She was mildly shocked to once again hear Grissom's shaky voice. "Are you sure?"
"Yes," came Brenda's reply. "I don't eat when I'm nervous."
"W-why are you nervous?"
The camera turned once again on Grissom as he stood at Brenda's side. The upwards angle did him no favors, but as he fearfully tried his best to reach out to her daughter, Sara had never thought him more handsome. "I'm scared for my mom."
"She'll be fine. You heard what the doctor said," he reminded her consolingly. "All she needs is rest and some fluids."
"She's in the hospital. I don't like that."
"I don't either," Grissom said honestly, and the camera turned once again on the aquarium. "What's your fish's name?"
"Horton."
"After Horton Hears A Who?" he asked.
"It was the first book my mom read to me."
Sara felt confusion followed by an acute pain in her heart. She was well aware that Brenda lived with a family for the first four years of her life, but it hurt to hear the girl she thought of has her daughter refer to someone else as Mom.
"Is that your favorite book?" Grissom asked.
"No," Brenda answered, focusing once again on the man next to her. "It was just a book at the hospital."
The hospital? Sara wracked her brains. When was Brenda at the hos….
She swallowed the lump in her throat as she recalled the time spent with Brenda years earlier, remembering her desperate attempt to entertain and distract her while they waited for a psych consult. They drew pictures and unsuccessfully attempted to play with dolls. Finally, Sara had picked up the first book on the waiting room table and opened it. The loud crack of the spine seemed to call out to the four-year-old and she walked over and managed to sit in peace for twenty minutes while Sara read aloud to her.
Relief poured over her as she watched Brenda and Grissom continue their conversation.
"What is your favorite book, then?"
"Little Women."
"Ah, just like your mom," Grissom said.
They were quiet for a few moments, the lens still on him, when Brenda finally reciprocated. "What's your favorite book?"
"I am a big fan of Dr. Seuss myself: The Cat in the Hat."
Sara frowned immediately. She had received the same glib answer from Grissom when she asked that question months earlier. She leaned forward.
Brenda didn't share her mother's annoyance. She waited a moment before asking, "Why is it your favorite?"
Grissom shrugged. "Because it's the last book my mother ever read to me."
Sara's arms fell to her sides, dead weight dragging her down. She couldn't breathe at first, but began gasping for air as Brenda asked the question she feared.
"Did she die?"
"No," Grissom said simply to Sara's relief. "My mother went deaf when I was five. By that time, I was old enough to read things by myself."
Sickness washed over her. When he had told her his favorite book, she dismissed it as a joke. He was being honest with her, letting her in, but she shut him out. Sara was beginning to realize Grissom was much more delicate than she realized.
"Didn't your dad read to you?" Brenda asked.
"My parents got divorced when I was little. I didn't see my dad very often," he explained.
The trill of a telephone had Grissom reaching into his pocket. He glanced at the display. "That's your mom calling. Why don't you answer?" Brenda's small hand reached out to grab the phone from him and the screen went blank.
After taking a few deep breaths and shutting off Brenda's computer, she left her daughter's room, pondering all that she had learned on the homemade DVD. Grissom's mother was deaf. His parents divorced when he was young and he was raised by his deaf mother. He told this to Brenda as if it were common knowledge, yet her mother had no idea. She couldn't tell if this new information was a piece of the puzzle that was Gil Grissom, or if it just made him more of a mystery to her. Those two new facts didn't explain everything, far from it. Sara couldn't tell if Grissom had built his sheltered life as a result of his upbringing or if his propensity towards being an extreme introvert was just part of who he was. She leaned against the wall, massaging her forehead as she contemplated what it all meant.
"What are you doing?"
TBC…