"Ugh, I gotta get back. For real this time. And the pick-up line for today is: You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life. Aww…how sweet can I get huh. See you tomorrow." Tony said with meaningful haste, bending down to give her a peck on the cheek instinctively.
Without even realising it, he rushed back to his post.
Tony swung the door open enthusiastically like he had every day for the past two weeks, his highlight of the day being his visits to his partner's bedside for their talks.
"Good day belladonna. Just so you know, our three week deal is ending. Like, in a week. The doctor says he can't be sure but I think you'll wake up when our deal is up." The senior agent spoke like he knew the world's secrets.
His brows furrowed for a while, as a sudden processing thought called for a speech.
"Y'know, I think there's something going on between McGee and Abby. They're giving me vibes. Tingly vibes." His fingers were wiggling in the air, emphasising on the effect of his words.
"Ahh I don't know. I don't mind it actually...they look cute together. We look cute together too, even cuter maybe. Not that I've been putting much thought to it. No way." Tony shook his head adamantly as he rambled on, musing to himself in denial.
As per usual, he folded his arms on the side of Ziva's bed to make a pillow for himself, laying his head down and burying his cheek into the fabric of his sweater.
"Gibbs has been nicer to me since you uh...this. I know he thinks I'm still sad, blaming myself and all." He spoke in sudden seriousness, feeling the hot puffs of air on his forearm through his clothing.
With a voice thick with emotion for just a split second, he continued "I am."
He shifted his head, tilted his neck just enough to look at her while he slipped behind slight humour again, "Just not too much. Gotta stay DiNozzo-ish for your return to the Land of the Conscious right?"
"Well, if you don't mind I'll just take a short nap while I'm here. Okay with you?" He asked expectantly as he hooked his pinkie with hers under her blanket, having it become a habit.
Of course, the reply he got was non-existent.
"They say silence means consent y'know." Tony burrowed his nose into his sleeve, finding warmth.
He looked intently out the small window into the dark skies outside which seemed empty to him right now.
"If stars would fall every time I think of you, the sky would soon be empty." He mumbled dejectedly.
"As promised, another corny pick-up line. Sweet dreams Ninja."
And he closed his eyes.
The week passed grudgingly slow, with Tony being extremely expectant of something great happening every time he went to visit Ziva. The actual day that Tony picked out for his one-sided deal with his partner finally knocked at his door and he all but flew to Bethesda with high hopes that a new scene would finally greet him this time.
Tony picked at stray thread of his pockets as he brisk-walked his way to the room he has become so accustomed to. But it wasn't a scene he welcomed at all.
He stared down a made empty bed.
His jaw went slack, on the verge of hyperventilation or a mini panic attack. His ears picked up a scurrying of feet, and he turned back in time to see a nurse approaching. He swallowed thickly, his throat feeling like it had grown tighter in a matter of mere seconds.
"Wher-Where's uhh...my friend?" He pointed at the made sheets, staring at them at the same time.
"Skin grafts. That's what I was trying to tell you but you kept on walking." The mousy voice informed.
A string of laughter resounded for a straight ten seconds.
"Okay, scared myself for a while there. Thank you for the heads-up, I appreciate it." Tony exhaled heavily, a slightly crazed smile on his face.
The nurse made an awkward retreat while the Senior Field Agent dropped into the armchair the hospital was so kind to replace just for him, laughing mechanically again to himself for a full minute. At last, his short manic display was over and he heaved a very deep sigh of relief.
His fist pounded against his temple and a few words came through clenched teeth, "What the hell am I doing?"
And then he ran home like a puppy with its tail between its legs.
It was probably about a week after Ziva had been wheeled back safely into the room after whatever surgery she had before Tony came to visit again. This time, an antsy man was waiting impatiently in a corner. As soon as the nurses had everything in check and left, Tony flew to her side and launched into his speech.
"Hey you, how's my favourite partner doing after her skin grafts? I missed you today. And all the other days...I'm sorry I broke pattern and stayed away for so long. I needed to do some thinking." He picked up her hand gently, careful not to jostle any new bandages.
He gave a few beats of silence before he failed to resist the temptation to break it.
"You know, stuff happened at work a couple of days ago and it made me think. Things between us have been different since that day in the restaurant, and I can't tell you how sorry I am. We never really had a talk, so wake up and we're gonna do exactly that." Tony carried a heavy heart, unable to shake off a sense of uneasiness.
An outsider's ear would be curious and yet baffled by the sudden reappearance of such an issue. The intentions behind the bearer of those words reared even more confusion.
Tony thumped a frustrated fist upon his lap while his voice came off with a demanding edge which concealed despair, "I don't know if you can hear me but I need you to wake up. Deal's a no-go. You're overdue. You need to wake up right now."
Nothing changed of course. If his words were law and he could alter the elements of life, he would be God. But a mere strong-willed human being he was. And his partner remained the same. Asleep.
Tony took on a slightly offended expression which masked a little hurt as he admitted shamefully, "McGee insinuated that I was getting a little nuts. And Gibbs agreed. I know that because he said nothing."
Although he was obviously alone, Tony felt the need to cross his arms across his chest defensively. He tugged at his lower lip with his teeth, launching his mind into motion as the wheels inside it turned vigorously.
"Am I, Ziva? Am I crazy?" He asked the air.
Flashback
Days at NCIS without Ziva couldn't have been more uneventful. It was as if the criminals were taking pity on Tony and decided to not kill navy personnel for a while. Ridiculous. Tony hated the peace and quiet. He kicked himself in the ass for feeling that way, for wishing that there was some case to take his mind off things.
But no. Higher powers from above had bestowed upon him all the time and silence for him to mull over things. To make Ziva's absence as omnipresent in his head than any other time. It was like when she first left. Only worse.
As he leaned back in his seat, Tony took to writing notes in some scrap paper and crushing them up into paper balls. Like the child inside him, he launched them over to his partner's empty desk. In a matter of minutes, the area around Ziva's space was littered with white rubbish.
McGee for one sat back and observed silently. The only movements he made were of his eyebrows and his eyes. His brows scrunched up together whenever Tony embarked on new strange behaviour, and his eyes would slowly glide over to those striking blues of his boss.
Gibbs never failed to catch his agent's gaze. He had also been keeping tabs on his Senior Field Agent discreetly, though his actions worried him by the second. He responded to McGee's rising brow with a subtle yet distinct shake of the head. He was letting Tony ride it out his own way.
The short exchange was interrupted as Tony got up painfully from his position on his chair to stride across to his partner's desk. Two pairs of eyes stalked his movements, not that he would notice.
He all but fell unceremoniously onto her seat and toyed with everything on her desk. From the computer screen to the mini flags, even her stationery. His fingers stilled on one of the pens, which he randomly picked out and held it in his grasp. Out of the blue, he smiled and then chuckled softly to himself. Aiming towards his own desk with his tongue stuck out in sheer concentration, he threw the pen as hard as he could.
It hit the separator behind his seat and fell clumsily onto the floor, at which he laughed aloud at a volume his co-workers could hear. Thankfully, the other teams were out and the rest were on break, which left McGee and Gibbs the only audience to his actions.
"Tony?" McGee probed uncertainly.
"Ziva once caught a pen I threw at her when her eyes were closed and she threw it back at me. It got stuck in that separator. Went right past my ear. Whoosh!" Tony explained animatedly, his fingers wiggling beside his ear like they once had.
"Tony, this has to stop." McGee gave up his daily silence at Tony's behaviour.
"Stop what Tim?"
"We know you're sad that Ziva isn't here. We are too. But what you're doing is not helping. And frankly, you're starting to scare me."
"And what exactly do you mean by that?" Tony's lips formed a stiff line and his eyes accusatory.
"You're overcompensating her absence." McGee held his breath for a second and admitted the rest quickly.
"Is that what you saw? What I just did didn't mean anything." Tony laughed nervously, already starting to doubt himself at the back of his mind.
"Just yesterday, you were kicking the photocopying machine like she used to."
"So? It wasn't working."
"A few days ago, you were sharpening your letter-opener that she once said she liked."
Whatever trace of a smile left on Tony's face was wiped off clean as McGee pointed out the obvious. It was true, but Tony refused to listen just yet.
"I don't hear Gibbs saying anything about it." He reasoned stubbornly, looking towards the father figure in his life recently.
Gibbs shrugged slightly, allowing his eyes finally to betray what he was thinking. Those eyes that could stare into one's soul, burned holes in Tony's. He was taken aback. Gibbs thought he had a few screws loose too. No words were needed after that.
"See Tony? It's getting out of hand." McGee tried so very hard to tread on lightly.
"I don't see anything! But I do know who I'll be seeing. Ziva. In fact, I'm coincidentally off work and I'm going there now." Tony brushed off the concern he knew his colleague had and grabbed his things angrily.
Muttering to himself of how ludicrous it sounded, the disgruntled agent promptly got into the elevator as McGee and Gibbs stared on.
"Boss?" The resident geek prompted uncomfortably.
For maybe the umpteenth time in the span of a short few months, the fearless leader of the bunch sighed.
"Go." The white-haired agent pinched the bridge of his nose, as he looked on while his young agent sped down the stairs.
Timothy McGee raced down the stairs, a few steps at one go and as fast as his legs would carry him. He needed to get in an extra few words with Tony, which he hoped would knock some sense into the guy who was subliminally turning his state of mind inside out.
TBC
Haha an early update, well this is rare! Nah, actually I'm just trying to finish this fic by New Year's day. So...this is like the second last chapter. Finally. Getting hard to keep up with it with all the homework thrown. The education system here is hell, but meh EDUCATION IS GOOD FOR US GUYS heheh and that you don't hear everyday! xD
Anyways, I'm so appalled that this fic has garnered more than 400 reviews! You guys always make my day, thank you:) With that said, enjoy the last few days of 2012! We survived the apocalypse!