Disclaimer: Characters are SM's.

A/N: Thank you to all reviewers and readers. I am as always, only soo appreciative to hear your generous thoughts ( bad or good) on each chapter. Anyway, this chapter explores the other side of the coin - what if is it's Jasper who gets to feel what the others feel like when he falls ill.

Summary: An incident forces Jasper to introspect.

This Invisible Band that I Wear: Part 2

~I would be reminded again and again of this invisible band that tied the three of us in the coming weeks and months.

It just never occurred to me though that I could also easily lose either one of them just as easily as they could me.~ Jasper Cullen

JPOV

The day had started well enough. We had gone through the treasure chest a few days ago and coincidentally, dad mentioned to us that Jacob and Seth were back from national duty for a bit. They were both serving in the navy. It was perfect timing for a well deserved visit to one of our childhood haunts and also to catch up on old friends. We left for La Push and the reservation on the Saturday morning with the intention of spending a few hours there. From a few hours we ended up spending nearly half the day there, only leaving after having a late lunch at Seth's place; his mom's grilled fish was the best in the greater part of the Olympic Peninsula.

The heavy rain and thunderstorm started just as soon as we pulled out of the Quileute reservation and headed home. As Emmett had driven us on the trip here, I took the wheels on the return leg and drove mom's Audi with the girls while Edward and Emmett drove in the smaller hatchback Volvo behind us. I was quite glad that Bella decided to join us in this return trip, as much as I was confident that Edward was a good driver, the relative size of the Audi sedan made it a much safer option in such bad weather.

"Call Edward Bells, tell him to drive slowly," I instructed Bella as I carefully maneuvered the car through the winding and dark road towards home. I could barely see the Volvo's lights behind me, much less 1 foot ahead of the road in front of us owing to the sudden torrential rain. The dense canopy cover on either side of the road made the visibility even worse.

"Shit.. no reception Jazz." Bella cursed. My worry feelers seemed to be going off for some reason.

"Jazz, can you turn the heater on? I'm cold," Rosalie muttered suddenly. Alice shuddered just as she said it.

"Sorry ladies..," I turned the heater immediately. Hot air blasted into the confined space instantly, warming us up quickly.

We were passing through the wooded parts of La Push road now, sometimes a dangerous road to be on because it cut through national park and therefore wildlife trails. It was not unusual for a buck or a wild animal to just jump across the road when you least expect it. I slowed even more.

My phone beeped suddenly. Alice held it out for me and pressed loudspeaker on. It was Emmett. I sighed a breath of relief immediately.

"Can you believe this rain?" he spoke through the speaker. A mixture of disbelief and idiotic excitement in his voice. Only Emmett could find joy in everything. Even dangerous weather such as this one. I shook my head.

"Babe there's nothing fun about this weather!" Rosie yelled through the phone. The rest of us snickered after her. I thought I heard a whimper there followed by Edward's laugh from the other side as well. Still nothing funny about the weather, but Emmett being put on a leash over the phone was however quite funny.

"Anyway, Edward wants to drive ahead, and you could tag behind.." he stated a second later. I almost smiled. They read my thoughts easily. It would be safer for the girls if we trailed them instead of leading. As it were I could barely see more than 1 foot of the road ahead. Without my glasses, in this sort of weather, even my infinitesimal visual impairment could be of a huge consequence. I watched the road ahead for signs of oncoming traffic before flashing a quick sign to Edward, and giving him room to cut me quickly. I released a tiny breath of relief once they were in front of us. With Edward's Volvo in front of me, there was a point of reference of the road ahead of me now, and I could feel myself relaxing into the seat once more. I kept a fair distance from Edward, close enough to see his taillights. Bella and Rosie were chatting quietly at the backseat; while Alice rode in companionable silence with me up front, her tiny hand absently rubbing soothing circles over mine on the shift stick.

We were about 20 minutes on the road and a little more than 10 minutes to the turn off into the road home when suddenly I saw Edward's car swerve sharply to the right, the same instant that my hearing went deaf as three girls' shrill screams pierced the confined space of the car. My poor heart lurched to a stop it seemed, from the hysterical screaming and the sudden appearance of headlights heading dead straight into our direction. On instinct, I stepped on the pedals, causing the car to speed up instantly and swerved left into the other lane immediately before skidding to a stop back on the right lane 50 – 60 feet ahead. It took all of 5 - 10 seconds for us to avoid the oncoming vehicle and stop where we were now, but it felt as though hours had passed.

Thank God for good tires!

My eyes scanned the girls swiftly even before any of them had the chance to calm down. They looked visibly shaken but otherwise unscathed. My mind went to my brothers at once.

"Everyone, calm down!!!" I almost screamed through the ringing in my ears as I unbuckled myself quickly. I realized that I hadn't heard any crashing noise but I couldn't be sure if it was because I just didn't hear it due to the girls' screams and the pelting rain outside.

"Jasper, what are you doing? You can't go out into the rain!"

Alice. I flashed an incredulous look at her for a split second. I knew she was worried about me getting sick but my brothers were out there!

"Call for help," I instructed to no one in particular as I yanked the door open and ran into the freezing rain, racing back to the scene of the near collision; ignoring for once my current state of health and what the rain and cold could potentially unleash in me soon. We had skidded farther than I thought, probably about a 100 feet from our original location. Cold horror swept through me as the scene played out in full in front of me. 50 feet ahead of me a red van was lying uselessly on its side, and a few feet ahead of it, closer to me, was a wide broken gap in what used to be a wooden barricade on the road, meant to keep passing traffic from the obvious; plunging into the icy river below.

We were on a fucking bridge.

Oh God.

My mind spun frantically.

Oh God No…No….NO.

I ran to the gap, I could hear my heart beating loudly in my ears. The river had risen to an angry level. It must have rained heavily upland for the river to be bursting the way it was now.

I couldn't see the Volvo anywhere. Oh God. I felt faint suddenly.

"No!!!"

I realized it wasn't me who had vocalized it.

My head snapped back to confirm it was Bella. She had run after me, and the scene was easy enough for her to read. She stopped dead on her tracks, falling to her knees, screaming in the middle of the road. Rosalie and Alice slamming into her shortly after. It took them seconds to realize why Bella had screamed. I heard Rosie's shrill cry then and my heart plummeted even as her decibels increased. I looked back at the skid marks on the tarred road again and at the gap on the bridge.

The invisible band in my arm tightened painfully.

A vision flashed in my head. Bella and Rosie – garbed in black, eyes hollow, reflecting the void inside. They were dead. Mom and Dad shattered. Our family fallen to pieces.

I saw them now, crumpled on the ground crying. I saw my girl, standing beside them, her face a picture of sheer horror. She caught my eyes then; it didn't take long for comprehension to dawn on those teary grays on what I was about to do.

Her plastered head started shaking at me even as her beautiful pink mouth puckered into a horrifying No.

I love you Alice.

"Call for help!!!!" I gave one last scream to the widening horrific eyes of the three women we, my brothers and I loved even as I ran for the gap and jumped.

Words ringing in my head as the raging water came up to meet me.

"..I know this is probably not easy for you to accept...but I love you and I nearly lost you. ….. You'll have to just get used to the fact that I am going to be hovering close by until you get better.. okay?"

"Those were some of the best years I've had.. I couldn't just throw them away.."

"….I had you and Edward, I couldn't have asked for better siblings to grow up with. I wouldn't trade you guys or our childhood memories for anything in the world.."

"We're a fucking tripod. We keep each other standing."

"We're a band of brothers, we die for one another.."

Emmett…

Edward…

Hang on… I'm coming!

……..

……………….

……………….

………………..

.....................

***********

Alice POV

I stood there beside them, shaking from the rain, shaking from the knowledge that had just presented itself to me. Their car had gone through the barrier and into the river below it!

Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

What do we do? I looked down at the two women who I considered family now, and I shared their sorrow. They were too lost in grief to be of help though. My eyes sought Jasper's at once. He would know what to do. I wished right then I hadn't caught his eyes. Or his look.

He wasn't thinking of jumping after them was he???

My head started shaking at him instantly just as my mouth opened to tell him not to do it.

"NO!"

I love you Alice. His eyes spoke to me endearingly, only because he couldn't.

He screamed for me to call help again even as he ran for the gap, even as I ran for him, wanting to stop him. I screamed with all my might.

"Jasper!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"

My heart plummeted the same time I saw him jump beyond the bridge's edge. My legs finally stopping at the edge itself as I watched with growing horror – my center, my sun, swallowed by the raging river below.

The utter void I felt when Jasper had died in my dreams cloaked me instantly.

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't breathe.

Oh God please…please don't let him die.

Help him. Help them!

*************

JPOV

The first thing that registered in my brain was the freezing icy water and how it made every muscle in my body spasm and contract against the assault. I gasped fiercely against the icy cold and the innate need to just curl into a ball to preserve my body heat. I focused instead on gauging where the car could have plunged into and swam towards my first guesstimate as quickly as my legs and arms could carry me.

………..

*************

Alice POV

I surfaced for a breath instantly when I saw his head bob out from under the murky water. He was alive! I watched him swim a little further before he went under again. He was looking for them. My mind went into work instantly. I dialed for 911.

"What can we do?" I heard Rosalie and Bella come up behind me shakily just then.

"We need to check that van for survivors, and we need to flag down help!" I instructed. I saw Bella's horrified eyes for a second again and I had to look. Jasper had resurfaced again and he seemed to be looking still. Worry ate into my heart. How many minutes had passed? How long could he stand that freezing water before he…he?

I pushed the morbid thought away and was grateful when I saw a car coming from the other direction. I ran to the middle of road instantly and flagged it down.

"Please help!! A car went into the river.. our family.. there's someone down there but he needs help!" I explained quickly. They didn't hesitate for a second.

Help is coming Jasper. Help is coming.

………….

JPOV

I took a lungful of cold air and dived in.

I resurfaced, swam a bit more and dived in again.

And again.

My heart was hammering inside me. How many minutes had passed?

I swam a little bit more to the left and went under again. My eyes strained against the turbidity of the water. I was about to surface for more air when I thought I saw a flash of silver and royal blue ahead of me. It was the car.

I swam towards the car frantically.

Edward! Emmett!

I wavered for a second as my own heart clenched tightly inside my chest when I caught sight of their unmoving bodies inside the car.

Were they dead?

No. They couldn't be. They couldn't be.

I pushed the thought away and banged at the window forcefully, trying to wake them even as I tried to pry the door open. Water was filling into the vehicle quickly. Despite the freezing water, my lungs burned ferociously inside.

Fuck! I need to surface for more air!

I tore myself away from the car and swam upwards again.

I surfaced and gasped for much needed breath. It was then I saw that someone else had jumped into the water after me. A second one swimming behind him, holding a big wrench of sorts.

Help. Thank God!

"They're unconscious! Below!" I screamed over the pelting rain and raging water, showing 2 fingers to indicate to them how many people there were. At their nod, I took another lungful of air quickly and dived in again; new strength surging inside me with the knowledge that I now had help. The guy with the wrench started hitting at the passenger window on Emmett's side while I swam to the other side to try and pry Edward's door. I managed to open his door just as the man broke into Emmett's side. Water surged into the car immediately, filling the space and the car creaked at the force of it. I grappled to release the buckle off of Edward's unresponsive body as the other two men fought to pull Emmett's bulky form from his seat. They freed him just as I pulled Edward out. My lungs were burning painfully now as I pulled Edward's deadweight up towards the surface. We broke surface in seconds and I gasped painfully for the air, noticing with alarm that my own grasp of consciousness was now waning. I was barely holding onto Edward by the time we neared the banks.

"Help!" I gasped as I pushed him to the muddy ground with what little strength I had left. I felt someone come up behind me and push me up as well and I spluttered and choked out river water even as I grappled for Edward's unconscious form on the muddy bank.

"Edward! Emmett!"

I thumped at Edward's still frame. He did not respond. I saw Emmett lying on the bank not far from where we were. Unmoving. Still.

Don't die. Don't die!

I could not hold on to the light as much as I tried to. My own consciousness was fleeing me. I grabbed on to Edward as a last measure of effort; willing him to live as my own grasp slipped.

Please don't die…

********************

Alice POV

I didn't know how many minutes had passed since Jasper dived under again with the two men following after him but suddenly I saw three heads breaking surface. It was the two men and Emmett was between them.

Where was Jasper?! And Edward?!

My heart nearly gave way when I saw Jasper break surface the very second, with Edward in his grip.

Oh God he was struggling.

"Help him!!! Help him!!" I screamed, hoping to God they would hear me above this God- awful noise from the rain and the river. The EMT units arrived just as Jasper reached the banks. My heart twisted at the sight of him struggling to get onto the bank. He was greatly weakened. I didn't have to be a doctor to see just how much weakened he was.

It took all our strengths it seemed to not just scramble down to the banks and get to our respective partners.

"Where are they? Where are they?" A distraught voice pulled our attention instantly.

Carlisle. He must have arrived with the EMT. He looked absolutely beside himself.

………

……………

………….

***********

JPOV

Minutes passed. Hours?

Freezing. I was freezing.

Where were Edward and Emmett? Were they okay? Did they escape the accident?

I woke up to the sound of beeping and something whooshing beside me. My eyes squeezed shut from the harsh light and it took me a painful second to crack them open again. Worried brown and gray eyes looked into mine. I tried to breathe but my lungs were on fire.

"Shhh…Jasper..take it easy.." Mom.

What happened?

Accident. Volvo. River. Edward! Emmett!

I struggled to get up even before my head had time to register that my body was too weakened to cooperate fully.

"Ed…Emm.." I gasped painfully beneath the mask. My chest was physically burning but the pain I was feeling right now had nothing to with it.

"They're okay... they're in the next rooms," Mom told me cautiously. I looked at her worried eyes.

Not. Good. Enough.

I needed to see them. Now.

I forced myself up, ignoring the pain that assaulted every inch of my body as I exerted myself.

"Jasper please!" Alice pleaded to me. I looked at her.

I need to see them Sunshine. Please. Help. Me.

"Need.. to see them." I gritted through the heaviness in my body and pushed myself up again. Pulled the mask away. I felt tears streaking my cheeks. Partly from the pain, partly from the gnawing worry in the pit of my stomach now.

Something was wrong.

I could feel it.

"Please.. I ..need to see..them," I begged through my tears. I struggled to find the floor. I was grateful when Alice came to my aid, torn as she probably was, as my bare feet finally found the floor. My knees buckled under my dead weight, nearly dragging her down with me. I ignored mom's frantic worrying as I dragged myself towards the door, my sunshine barely holding my weight.

"Carlisle do something!" mom's frantic voice rang painfully in my hazy brain. I shook my head to clear it and took another shaky step forward. Someone blocked my path then.

"Jasper," Dad.

"Son… you need to rest," he reasoned, placing his hands over my shoulders, trying to guide me back to the bed. I bristled against his hold.

Let. Me. Go.

"I need to see them." I meant to say it firmly but it came out in a breathless gasp instead. I caught his apologetic eyes just as I felt the prick on my shoulder. Betrayal flashed in mine.

"No…" I gritted my teeth in anger and tried to make for the door, even as the medication took effect. I slipped into his waiting arms.

Darkness.

"I love you Jas.. you just have to accept.. fact. .hovering by you..you're better,"

Edward?

Edward where are you?

'I'm sorry Jas..'

Edward! I'm coming! Don't leave me!!

I was under water again. Struggling to open Edward's door. He was awake behind it, in the sinking car. Horrified eyes pleading at me. Jasper help me! He was screaming. I pulled at the door forcefully but it wouldn't open.

'I can't open the fucking door Edward! Kick it! Kick it!' I screamed at him. He kept banging at the door. Kept screaming for me to help him.

The car was filling with water now. And he was drowning. He was drowning!

I'm trying Edward…..

Bloated body now floating in the car.

No!!!! No Edward!!!

………..

…….

Where was Emmett?

Emmett was with Edward wasn't he?

Emmett? Emmett can you hear me?

"Damnit Jas..now you've got me misty eyed.."

Emmett..Are you okay? Where are you? Where's Edward?

"Edward wants to drive ahead Jas.."

No. Don't. Stay behind me. Please.

I saw the Volvo cut in front of me and moments later it hit the gap and plunged into the river again.

Emmett! Edward!

No..please no.. don't leave me!!

I saw the floating dead bodies of my brothers in the sunken car in front of me.

No!!!!

……………

………

…………………….

………

I choked awake.

I had been crying in my sleep again.

Was it another bad dream?

Where was I?

It took me a second to realize where I was again.

The same second it took to realize what had happened to both my brothers. I gasped and curled at the intolerable pain hitting my chest like a wrecking ball.

"Jasper?"

"Alice?" My voice was raw and raspy. Before I knew it, I had started hyperventilating again. Soothing arms came round to rub my back, gentle warming voice shushing me.

Were they dead?! They were dead weren't they? My brothers were dead!

Oh God.. It hurts! It hurts!

"Oh Jazz,"

"No… No…" I curled into myself even more, moaning against the indescribable pain blooming in my heart now.

I had lost them.

I had lost them!

I was too late.

"Jasper … they're alive…do you hear me? They're alive…." Alice's placating voice pierced through my anguished mind. I felt her soothing rub against my hunched shoulders, her calming breath against my neck and her cooling tears against my burning skin.

I pulled the mask away from my face.

"They… they… are?" I asked through hitched sobs, peering worriedly into her eyes. She… she wasn't lying was she?

She nodded. Her eyes did not lie to me. Her hold on me did not loosen.

"Please…I need to see them.." I pleaded.

"Jazz..you're sick..you need to rest," she started again, looking at me worriedly. She looked haggard.

"Alice… please..I can't… not until I see them, please… please," I begged desperately.

There was only one way I could calm down. I needed to see for myself that my brothers were indeed alive. She knew this. She bit her lip for a second.

"Hang on… I'm going to go find a wheelchair… wait, okay?" she said to my face quickly and ran out. I lay curled on the bed, shaking against the cold and worry. I pulled the IV out, ignoring the bleeding it left on my arm. She appeared a few minutes later pushing a wheelchair in front of her. I pushed myself to the floor and nearly fell, if not for my hold on the bed still. The cold tile floor was soothing under my bare feet. I steadied myself before she helped me into the wheelchair.

"You pulled the IV?" she asked horrified as she pulled the blanket from the bed and bundled it around my shaking figure.

"You dad is going to kill me…you know this? " she hissed. I pulled her hand down quickly and she nearly tumbled down in front of me. Grateful eyes looked into her worried gray ones.

Thank you.

She smiled. I kissed her hand quickly and she positioned herself behind me and pushed.

"How..long?" I asked through chattering teeth. I pulled the blanket around me closer.

"Two days," she answered swiftly. We took the lift. She pressed for ICU. My eyes flashed worriedly at her. She knelt in front me.

"Emmett is on the same floor as you.. he's alright now. .. he's awake, just bruised in the chest and a broken ankle I think.. "

Why didn't you take me there?

I meant to ask her but she read my mind faster than my mouth could put it into words.

"Your dad is in there… and your mom and Rosie, I figured you'd want to see Edward before he chained you down," she explained. I almost laughed at her remark. I would've had I not been worried about my brothers now.

Edward was in ICU.

"What's wrong with Edward?" I whispered worriedly. Did I get to him too late?

"Edward…is still unconscious..he... he's got some swelling in the brain.." she supplied a little cautiously.

I started hyperventilating without thinking again. Her eyes narrowed at me nervously.

"Angel...are you okay? Can you breathe??" she asked, rubbing my cold fingers briskly. I nodded and sought to calm myself. No point worrying her needlessly, my mind managed.

We arrived on the 3rd floor not a moment too soon. She wheeled me out smoothly and we headed towards the ICU unit.

"Family, he's Edward's brother," Alice mentioned to the lady behind the desk. It was Emily. I smiled at her. She cocked her head towards the door quietly. I mouthed a quiet thank you and Alice pushed me swiftly.

I braced myself as we neared Edward's room.

"It's okay baby..he's alive..," Alice whispered to my ear as she pushed me in quietly. I stopped breathing anyhow, the moment I saw his lying figure on the bed. Unmoving.

Bloated body floating in the car. Dead.

I closed my eyes. Willing the horrible image to go away.

"Jasper?"

Bells.

"Oh Jazz…" Warm, forgiving hands wrapping themselves around me. I almost pushed her away. I didn't deserve this.

"Be..lls… I..'m so…sorry….I should've been quicker…" I croaked, tears threatening to escape my traitorous eyes. I was too late.

Disbelieving, bloodshot eyes peered into mine.

"Oh God…no Jazz…Sweetie..no..it's not your fault.. how could you even think that?"

"Sweetheart, if anything you...you saved him!" she sobbed as she enveloped me in her arms again. I clung to my best friend as if she were my lifeline now, as images of the scene of the accident, the horrified looks on the girls' faces, of seeing Emmett and Edward in the water flashed back into my mind forcefully. I reeled from the onslaught in my head painfully.

"He..he hit his head on the window…" she explained sobbingly.

"Help me up.." I asked as I gripped the wheelchair's arms tightly and tried to push myself up. I barely had any strength left in me. It took all of Alice's and Bella's strengths to help me up to my feet so I could see Edward properly.

My heart constricted tightly at how pale he looked. A huge bruise marred the one side of his head. I blinked back tears furiously.

I nearly lost him.

I swayed at the force of the pain stabbing at my chest even as new thoughts surfaced in my awareness.

Was this what they felt when I was lying in coma? When I had had my cardiac arrest?

Was this the pain I put them through?

Fuck… It hurts.

It hurts too much.

"Jasper?"

I belatedly realized I was swaying on my feet again. I felt Alice's hands come up to hold me steadily in the hips even as I planted my feet harder onto the cold floor and leaned further into the bed frame.

I took hold of his hand, and my heart calmed slightly to find it warm. He was alive. Not dead. Not dead.

"Hey Eddie… it's Jas. Time to wake up bro," I whispered with a mirthless smile. Why did people always laugh or smile on reflex when what they wanted to do was really cry? What was the deal with that? It wasn't as if it made the reality any different or the pain any less.

My mind reeled back to the day in the center when he had made that emotional speech in front of Emmett, dad and me. How stubborn I'd been when all he wanted to do was spend time with me. I'd take it all back…

"You've proven your point alright? You win.. you can hover around me however you want..I'm not gonna bitch and moan..I promise,"

I'd take it all back….

"Just wake up.."

I'd take it all back….

I frowned. I felt the heavy feeling settle in my chest again and I had to steel myself against the volley of pain hitting me. The careful mask finally slipped. Eyes closed. Tears fell.

"Please… Edward, please wake up…"

I murmured through clenched teeth, my hand furiously wiping at the tears running down my face now.

……

……..

"Jazz, you okay?" Bella asked me worriedly, her hand reaching out to hold me.

"Baby... maybe we should get you back now.." Alice's worried voice. Her grip on me tightened slightly again.

"I'm fine, I want to wait here," I mumbled to her softly. I had settled down on the wheelchair again.

"Jas…the nurses are going to be looking for you," Alice reasoned.

Fuck the nurses. There was no way I was going to move until Edward woke up.

"Alice, please. Make yourself comfortable. I'm not moving." I responded impassively.

Minutes passed. Maybe an hour.

My eyes suddenly snapped to, at the hand I was still holding. I almost shot up from the wheelchair.

"Eddie?" I whispered loudly, standing back up and leaning close to his face again.

"Grip my hand if you hear me Eddie.." I urged. I stilled myself if only to make sure I hadn't been imagining it. Sure enough I felt the almost imperceptible grip on mine. I released a breath I didn't know I had been holding.

Bella started calling him now. Urging him to wake up.

And then the sweetest noise I'd heard since Alice. An audible groan.

Oh Thank God!

"That's it… wake up Eddie." I said a little louder.

"Ed….wward.." I thought I heard him mumble weakly. I nearly laughed out loud at the sheer absurdity of his statement. I glanced over at Bella, hopeful brown eyes trained on her fiancé's face. We saw his head stirring slightly.

"That's it baby, come back to me," she urged softly through shaky voice. Her hand was gently stroking his head. I could see tears forming in her eyes again.

Jade eyes struggled to flicker open. I never thought I'd be so happy to see those familiar orbs again.

My own vision flickered in relief.

*********

"There you are.."

My head snapped swiftly towards the familiar voice at once; and my body reacted instantly against the sudden movement. I felt the floor tilt for a moment.

"Emmett?"

He was sitting in a wheelchair, one foot in a cast, looking extremely pale but otherwise..

Alive. They were both alive.

The tightness in my chest returned sevenfold. I felt tempted to just claw the feeling out.

"My brother, the hero." He said audibly, his voice was rough and raw. Rosie pushed him in. Mom and dad following closely behind.

It was all too much suddenly. I drew a shaky breath in.

"Jasper?" Alice's worried tinged voice vaguely penetrated my foggy brain.

I wondered why the light in the room was suddenly flickering like crazy.

*********

Emmett POV

The moment he said my name, I felt tears prickling at the edge of my eyes. He sounded as if he'd never see me again. I had never seen him look so devastated.

We must have really scared him.

"My brother the hero.." I murmured lightly but somehow my voice came out raw and rough.

He saved us. He jumped after Edward and me and fucking saved us. My sick brother. He could have died there too.

"Jasper?" Alice's worried voice pierced the silence and I saw her hold on his tightened instantly. His eyes started flickering rapidly before us.

Oh Fuck.

Dad shot out from behind me and caught him just as he collapsed in front of me, nearly taking Alice down with him.

*******

"How is he? Is he okay?" I asked worriedly when dad finally came out of Jas's room.

"Yes…he's.. he's just exhausted himself," he murmured tightly, rubbing his temple hard.

I found out later that by exhausted dad actually meant that Jasper had gotten ill again, pneumonia this time – from having choked on dirty river water and freezing his ass off in the rain and the river.

They had to put him under a respirator again. He was out for an extra two days before he came to. Shit. And this was supposed to be his time off from the hospital.

Edward came to two days after our untimely accident. He'd banged his head against the window quite hard when we hit the barricade. Thank God there was no lasting damage. I had been worried about him when dad told me that he was unconscious still. I seemed to be the one to have escaped the accident least hurt.

While I wasn't happy that we got ourselves into an accident, I was relieved that it had been our car in front when the van lost control and swerved into our path. Had we stayed behind the Audi, it would have been the girls and Jasper who'd have plunged into the river instead. I shuddered to think of what could have happened then.

******

"How are you feeling?" I looked at Edward. It was day five after our accident and the bruise on his face was still very much angry looking.

"I've had worst days.." he smiled wryly, wincing slightly when he moved his head too quickly. We chatted for a bit.

"I'm..so glad you're alright," I muttered softly to him finally. In the last couple of days, I'd been having nightmares still over the fact that I had nearly lost mine and his life.

Fuck. It had been too close. For all of us.

"How's mom and dad?" Edward asked softly.

"Rosie said they were beside themselves when we first got in, but they seem better now. Maybe just a little worried about Jas," I supplied. At his name, Edward's face creased a little.

"Bells said he wouldn't leave until I came to," he muttered softly. I could hear the wetness behind his voice.

I smiled.

"Well..you're not the only stubborn Cullen you know?" I responded lightly, looking at him pointedly. He chuckled weakly.

"Is he okay?" He asked concernedly now. He hadn't been able to move around as much as I could since we got admitted. Jas only woke up yesterday from one of his heavily medicated slumbers again. When I saw him this morning, he was feeling and sounding a lot better.

"He seems to be on the mend now… hey, you up for a little exercise?" I asked him. I had a feeling Jas would appreciate a little visit from us this evening.

"Sure.." he answered easily and got up from bed slowly and sat himself into the wheelchair next to his bed. We rolled ourselves to Jas's room.

********

Edward POV

"Hey..Jas..you awake still?"

He stirred in his bed. I frowned at how ghastly pale he looked.

He looked worst than we did.

"Hey guys…..yeah..I'm awake," he answered as his eyes cleared. He sat up immediately. A tired grin was pasted on his face.

"How are you Superman?" Emmett queried teasingly. We chuckled. I couldn't help but notice the pained crease between his eyebrows though as he did that. I wondered if we should have left him to rest instead.

"Much better thanks," he responded anyhow, rubbing his chest and coughing slightly. He turned to see me.

"How the head?" he inquired. I gave a wink and nodded my head subtly to let him know that I was fine. He inquired after Emmett next.

"I get another two weeks leave…so I ain't complaining," he responded upbeat. Trust Emmett to turn a near death experience into something positive. I almost rolled my eyes. Jas laughed quietly in response.

"Anyway, we just wanted to come see how you were and thank you, for saving our asses back there.." Emmett started.

"Yeah Jas.. thanks for going after us, that was very brave of you.." I supplied gratefully and leaned in quickly to clap his back.

He grinned back. "Eh," was his only reply.

"Like I said, Superman." Emmett teased again. A round of chuckle rang between us.

We sat there staring at each other and Jas's interesting hospital blanket suddenly.

Being brothers obviously didn't spare us from getting caught into awkward moments. And we were caught in one right now. It reminded me of the evening when Jas was first admitted and we had had a brotherly bonding time and was caught in a similar moment. One would think after 6 months of countless emotional upheaval and practice, we would be more adept at handling this. Apparently not.

Emmett coughed and broke the silence finally. Everyone's hand went up to their head at once. Synchronized swimming flashed in my head somehow.

I couldn't help it then. I laughed out loud. Ignoring the jarring pain that the movement sent to my head. My brothers joined in immediately.

"Awkward much?" Emmett prompted after our laughing had died down.

"I was thinking more along the lines of synchronized swimming," I offered teasingly, referring to our shared nervous tic. Another round of laughter.

"Yeah…if our recent performance is of any indication, we certainly are a model for that aren't we?" Emmett quipped after our laughter had died down. He was referring to our recent dive into the Bogachiel River, of course.

It was a bad joke.

Emmett regretted it the moment he said it. We caught the pained look on Jas's face immediately. I could understand why he was taking this harder than us, he and the girls had been the ones to witness our unexpected dive into the raging river. They must have thought we were dead. And I understood his feelings now because it had been that hard for me when he had slipped into coma in my arms.

"I thought I lost you guys," he said softly to the both of us suddenly. His voice was tight, controlled. Walled up tears were evident in his eyes as he looked at either of us.

"I'd never been so scared in my life…not being able to see the car at first," he swallowed. I swallowed the lump in my own throat.

"….and then… seeing the two of you in the car, not moving at all …..I thought…" his voice trailed off, he couldn't finish. His lips were trembling visibly by now. When his eyes closed, the walled up tears escaped and rolled down his face silently. My heart clenched. I reached for his shoulder at once. He was shaking his head, trying to still himself.

"You didn't lose us okay...you fucking saved us Jas.." Emmett muttered, trying to ease his distress. I could see he was also trying to control his mask.

He sniffed and opened his eyes to look at us again. I didn't think it was possible for him to look anymore anguished than he did now.

"I'm sorry for putting you guys through so much shit…." He whimpered softly. Emmett and I looked at him a little confused. What was he talking about?

He swallowed again. His voice next was barely audible.

"It can't be easy watching your brother die.… I know how it feels now.." he croaked, and his forehead creased even more.

"It fucking hurts..it fucking really hurts..," his jaws clenched. I bit my lip, if only to hold my own sob from coming.

"I don't know what more to say but that …I'm sorry…I'm sorry for putting your guys through this pain every time I get sick.." he whispered tearfully at us.

My arms were around him instantly. The pain I felt when he had died briefly revisited my chest again. He was right about it fucking hurting. It nearly killed me inside that time. He spoke to me.

"My shit about you hovering over me like a mother hen, I take it back. You can hover, whatever. I'm not gonna bitch, I promise," I had to grin. He pulled away and spoke again.

"Edward, thank you. For saving my life the other time. I never quite thanked you for being there. Things would have probably been worst if you hadn't." I could see from his eyes that he meant it sincerely.

For nearly killing him he meant? If I had been more observant, he wouldn't have slipped in the first place.

"We'll consider it even then, tit for tat," I responded coolly, throwing him a smile to hide what I really thought about that incident and clapping his shoulder lightly. His eyes looked at me contemplatively for a second.

Emmett interrupted.

"Okay ladies…if you two are through with crying and being emotional, please can I have my brothers back?" he chimed, teasingly. Jas's face mirrored mine. We scowled at him. He smirked in return.

He turned to Jas.

"Now that you know that it really hurts…do us a favor, don't get yourself into shit like septic shock again?" Emmett asked this time, wearing a serious look on his face. He was really good at diffusing "tense" moments like this. He grinned when we both chuckled. He pulled Jas in quickly for a brotherly hug.

"Seriously though Jas.." Emmett sighed,

"you need to stop running yourself down with this guilt thing. It's not your fault okay? You didn't ask to get sick. I know you feel bad about mom too, but there's nothing you can do about it, you know what I mean? Stop being a martyr for all of us. The only thing you need to do is focus on getting better."

He peered at Jas seriously now. A little bit like dad. There wasn't a trace of the usual comedic or jester Emmett in the person saying those words just then. It was just Emmett, our big brother - the one who always knew just what to say or do, and made things better when we were small.

I saw Jas nod in acquiescence. Emmett clapped his shoulder.

"And that goes for you too Silas," he quipped looking at me now. He meant it, but the court jester was back. I laughed.

Never in a million years would I have thought that I would have Superman and The Joker/Mr Incredible as my brothers.

What a lucky son of a gun.

I felt the bands on each of my arms tightened again and I welcomed the safe and comforting feeling that they rendered me.

"What's going on in that head of yours now?" Emmett queried a second later.

"Synchronized swimming," I said easily. My brothers laughed again.

If anyone saw us that evening in Jas's hospital room, us sitting around his bed, chatting and laughing quietly among ourselves, they wouldn't have guessed that we had nearly lost our lives just a few days ago.

A/N: Okay peeps, hope you liked this one.

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PS: Michele - thank you for your review - Much appreciated!Tears are good!