The phone rang while Snape and Celeste were still kissing. Snape swore ("Sevykins!" Celeste said to him reproachfully), and tore himself away from his girlfriend.

"Who is this?" said Snape rather angrily. "Not another telemarketer!"

"I'm not a telemarketer!" Sirius cried, annoyed. "It's…It's Sirius Black. I just wondered how you were getting along with Celeste."

Snape was momentarily stunned. "You…you…I…oh…what?"

"That's right," said Sirius. "Remember when you called me? Asking for my advice, I mean? Well, it's just, well, I was wondering how you were doing."

"Thanks," Snape muttered.

"You're welcome," said Sirius, sounding a bit embarrassed, too. "Listen…hmm…I know we're still enemies for the rest of forever, right, Snivellus?"

"Absolutely."

"Yeah…but we shouldn't say really bad things to each other," said Sirius. "At least, not in front of Meg and Celeste, because they really like each other. Meg doesn't really like you, but our wives are really getting along well, and I know they don't like when we fight, you know?"

"I know," said Snape.

"Okay, so, now that we have that settled, I wanted to get along to what I called you about, like how you and Celeste are faring." Sirius paused. "Unless you don't want to tell me, of course."

"No, it's okay," said Snape quietly. "Here…well, heh, we actually, you know, it was just sort of quick and without thought, and I don't know whether we should've, but—"

"You had intercourse?" said Sirius.

"Well, no," said Snape. He sounded heavily embarrassed, which was only enhanced by the fact that he was talking to his old school enemy in this conversation. "I mean…we thought about it."

"Well, that's a start," said Sirius.

Suddenly, there was a crashing noise from Snape's end of the phone. Sirius heard Celeste speaking a bit to Snape, and Snape speaking back to her, and then finally a woman's voice was talking on the phone line. He rolled his eyes.

"Hello?" said Celeste. "Hi! I'm Celeste!"

"Oh, hi," said Sirius. "You're Snape's girlfriend, aren't you? I met you at Molly's Christmas party. So how do you like Snape?"

"You mean Sevykins?" said Celeste, apparently unknowing of how Sirius had just been momentarily taken aback. "Oh, he's been great, you know, really kind, and sweet, and wonderful…"

"Oh that's no surprise," Sirius muttered to himself.

"What was that?"

"Nothing," said Sirius. "Well, anyway, I've got to be going, now. Bye."

"Bye!"

"That was Sirius Black, wasn't it?" Celeste said. "Oh, well, he sounded nice. Why were you telling him about our love, Sevy?"

Snape, personally, would have slapped anybody but Celeste who called him that name, but when Celeste said it he found he rather enjoyed it.

"Because he asked," said Snape. "I called him earlier to ask for his advice on our relationship, and then he called to check up on how we were doing."

"Why did you need advice? I was under the impression we were doing fine."

"Well, I was uncomfortable," said Snape, sounding even more embarrassed. "I knew you sort of wanted to have intercourse with me, and I was…was sort of nervous. I didn't know how to—well, I knew how it worked, obviously, but I didn't know how to go about it. So finally we just…didn't."

"Oh, Sevykins!" Celeste cried, looking tearful. "Why didn't you just tell me you felt that way? I mean, before you called Sirius Black? Honey, I was nervous, too! Everybody get nervous on their first time, didn't you know that?"

"That's what Black said," said Snape. "I just…you know, I just thought you wouldn't like me anymore or something like that. I mean…it's not that, I just wanted to seem like I never got nervous about it. I wanted you to think I was on top of everything."

"Oh but Sevykins, I already knew you weren't on top of everything!" Celeste told him. "I already knew that nobody is on top of everything! It's impossible to be perfect."

"I know it is," said Snape. "It's just…nobody's ever really romantically loved me before. Well, you know I bewitched Meg, but that wasn't real love, of course. You can't manufacture love. You're the first one who's ever loved me back, and I felt so strange in a relationship, actually."

"Well, we'll both muddle through, together," said Celeste.