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Disclaimer: Is Lee getting chased by Seme's that want him as their Uke? No? Then I don't own Naruto.
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Title: Cherry Lotus
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"Ino's been asking a lot of questions about you" Shikamaru said as they walked down the streets of Konoha towards their spot. Lee blinked then nodded.
"Sakura told her the truth." Lee admitted, "...Do you think..."
"Ah..." Shikamaru mumbled, a little frown pulling at his lips.
Lee wanted to kiss it away. The thought made him blush despite their conversation topic. He couldn't help it, he'd grown...addicted to the kisses Shikamaru gave him. He always wanted more.
"She's gathering info on you before she confronts you." Shikamaru said, "She's probably conflicted. She knows it was you during the exam and before but at the same time, you were pretending to be Sakura. But if she knows the whole truth then she'd understand. She'll be on your side."
"You think so?" Lee murmured, uncertain.
"I know so. Ino's got a good head on her shoulders...when she's not thinking about Sasuke." Shikamaru grumbled and Lee blinked again, a little surprised at the exasperation.
"What is wrong? I thought that you did not mind Sasuke-kun?" Lee asked.
"I didn't. But he's close to you too. I'm already fighting against three other people here."
"Three...what?" Lee asked, confused, "You are fighting three people? Shika, why did you not tell me? Do you wish to fight alone? Why would you be fighting Sasuke-kun though? I-" Lee paused as Shikamaru started to chuckle. Then the boy leaned down and kissed him, halting all of his thoughts.
Lee closed his eyes and kissed back, his hands automatically finding purchase in Shikamaru's shirt.
He felt dazed when they finally separated.
"You still so dense, you really don't see it... I swear, anyone else and this would be way too troublesome, but it's you." Shikamaru said, sighing slightly even as he gave that smile Lee liked so very much. Lee made a noise of confusion.
"I can't believe I'm actually going to tell you..." Shikamaru sighed again, "Lee, you-"
"Lee, right?" Ino's voice came and Lee jumped in surprise, his face immediately flushing red. He whipped around but Ino didn't act like she saw what they had been doing.
For a moment she looked a little confused and a little worried before she noticed Shikamaru behind him. Then she was giving Shikamaru a look. Shikamaru groaned.
"Don't worry, I'm not doing anything bad." Shikamaru said, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Just hurry up, I'll be over there while you two talk." he tilted his head to a bench and went to it to sit.
Lee stared at Shikamaru, almost wishing that the boy would have stayed. But no, this was a conversation better done one on one. So he turned back to Ino and gave her a polite smile, clasping his hands in front of him.
-Of course he channeled Sai, how could he not? Sai was the one who he went to when... Some things were still to hard to think about, even now-
-Would Sai be proud of him now?-
"Ino-ch-...Ino-san, good afternoon." Lee said, "Sakura informed me that she told you?"
Ino's nose scrunched, the expression still cute on her face. He wondered what caused her her dislike. Was it that he still called her Ino? Would she have preferred Yamanaka?
The thought made him a little sad.
"Yeah, she told me...Is it true?" Ino asked, crossing her arms as she stared right at him.
It still showed that she was uncomfortable in some way. Lee closed his eyes for a moment but kept his polite smile. He took a breath then nodded, "Yes. I truly am Lee." he said, the most he could say without saying too much.
"Then-...everything really did..."
"Yes, it all fell."
"And this was an accident?" Ino's eyes went down to his body and Lee nodded again.
"Yes." He said, "None of us thought that it would happen. And I promise, I would have let Sakura take her rightful place when everything was done. I would have left her strong and with all the friends I could give her."
Ino began to frown, her hands tightening into fists, but then she made herself relax with a harsh exhale, "Well that's not needed now right? You two are twins. You have your own lives, right?"
"Yes," Lee said, a little surprised, "Sakura has her life, I swear. She is settling wonderfully in with Team Seven, it is like she was always there."
"Of course. Sakura wouldn't let herself be pushed to the side." Ino said with full confidence, "I'm not worried at all. What's your plan?"
Lee's brows furrowed and his polite smile faded as he tilted his head in confusion, "I am going to continue as I have."
"And after?" Ino stressed the word, stepping closer. Her eyes narrowed and Lee didn't know how to answer her.
"I-...I do not know. It depends, I suppose." Lee said, uncertain. He would like to stay with Shikamaru after as it was slowly sinking in that Shikamaru really loved him. Lee loved him as well though he did feel like he was dragging Shikamaru down. Shikamaru did deserve someone better, someone truly happy and light, but Lee was slowly becoming selfish with this too and if he did survive till the end, then he doubted that he could let Shikamaru go.
"Depends on what." Ino practically demanded an answer and part of Lee was amused by it. Ino reminded him of a kitten trying to be a tiger. He knew she could be one but he was not an actual enemy and she was so young.
"I am going to be doing some very dangerous things, Yamanaka-san. You understand, yes?" Lee asked and Ino's expression twitched to anger before settling on something between worry and irritation.
"That's why we're helping isn't it? You're not doing it alone so everything will be fine, right? And drop the san! Why are you calling me Yamanaka?! You'd been calling me Ino-chan the whole time, why are you changing it now!?"
Lee blinked, staring at Ino with wide eyes. His thoughts stalled as what she said sunk into his mind. Then his expression fell, "Ino-chan..." He was happy, so happy that she wanted to help, that she thought that someone was going to help him for later. Lee smiled instead, soft and thankful, "Thank you, I-...just get stronger, please. Things are going to keep happening. What happened in the Forest was only the beginning. Get stronger and stronger, you can do it. You are so much more than even you think."
Lee smile slowly widened, "You and Sakura, you two become so amazing."
Ino who would take on any mission even if there was a great chance for her death, who always put everything in to what she did because it was all or nothing for her. She never gave up even if the odds were against her. Then Sakura who he had nothing but praise for, who had taken Tsunade's titles of strongest, number one medic, and even one for most beautiful. Both of them who would never abandon a friend. He had nothing but praise for them both.
Ino had a soft blush on her cheeks even as she flipped her hair and said, "Of course, I'm amazing after all. So don't think you're getting away with anything. You better keep me in the loop, I'll find you if you don't!"
Lee laughed, feeling warm. He nodded, "Yes...Thank you, Ino-chan."
Ino sniffed, the blush still there as she nodded. Then she looked at him and sighed, her shoulders falling as her own gaze grew gentle. "Be careful, okay?" She said, quiet. Lee nodded then sound himself pulled into a soft hug.
"Seriously, you're my friend too Lee-chan. You signed yourself up for it the moment you came back in our lives. So be careful."
Lee felt his eyes start to prick with tears but he pushed them back and hugged Ino back. "Thank you." He repeated, "To be your friend is an honor. I will do my best."
"Good." Ino said, pulling away, "I'll get going now, but don't think you've seen the last of me." She grinned at him and Lee had to grin back. He said goodbye and watched her run off, seeing again why Sakura stood by Ino after. Ino was...someone special.
"Ino-chan is amazing." Lee said just as Shikamaru stepped by his side again. The boy just chuckled and took his hand. Lee looked at him and smiled, "Shall we continue to our spot?"
"Yeah, I'm tired."
"You always are though!" Lee giggled, squeezing Shikamaru's hand
"Can't help it, your nice to use as a pillow." Shikamaru teased.
Lee blushed but he was grinning too. He nudged Shikamaru slightly, "Oh yes, you found out my secret power. The ability to be a good lap pillow."
"Damn good secret power too. Extremely effective."
Lee shook his head, grinning. He stepped closer to Shikamaru and took a little chance. He laid his head on Shikamaru's arm. Shikamaru linked their fingers together and caught his arm beneath his own in response. Lee blushed again, hugging Shikamaru's arm.
-He only did this too one other person before, acting so shameless as to hug onto an arm and lay his head there as if it belonged. But he didn't like to think about such a bittersweet time. It was still too painful. Would always be until he had that person back and was able to do the same things again-
"What were you going to tell me earlier anyway, Shika?" Lee asked, lightly nuzzling Shikamaru's arm. Shikamaru smelled nice, like lacquered wood and grass. Like, and the thought made him giggle because of course, shogi boards and the thich grass Shikamaru liked to lay on when he watched the clouds.
-So different from the one who smelled of paper and ink-
Shikamaru was quiet as he maneuvered them between the thick roots of their tree. He sat down first then gently pulled Lee to sit in his lap. He smirked a little as he saw the flush on Lee's cheeks again but blushed as well when Lee nuzzled against his chest. Shikamaru held Lee tightly, pressing his face into his hair as he actually had to fight the urge to squeeze too hard.
"You're cute, too cute." Shikamaru said and he had to ignore Lee's little confused sound. His grip tightened as he felt Lee try to pull back to look at him, "You're always happy, always helping. You treat everyone like each one is special. You look out for everyone, willing to believe the best about them and help them become the best. You give everyone a chance. So it's not surprising at all, even if I hate it."
Lee felt like his face was burning. His heart was racing in his chest and the butterflies he thought had finally left had come back with a vengeance.
"Sh-Shika?" Lee stuttered.
What did Shikamaru hate? Was it something he did?
"Everyone loves you." Shikamaru said, "I confessed first but I know if given the chance, someone will steal you from me." Shikamaru sighed against Lee's hair, nuzzling it, "I hate that but at the same time-..."
He knew he was going to have to share Lee. He wanted to keep Lee for himself but he also wanted to keep Lee safe and happy. He had a feeling that bad things would happen if Lee rejected the others, or even is he began to pull away, which Shikamaru would never ask Lee to do. That would be too cruel of him since he knew Lee was just that type of person. He also knew Lee would, if he asked. That made him feel a little better.
"No one will steal me from you, Shika!" Lee said, his insides squeezing with guilt. What did he do to make Shikamaru feel that way? And what could he do to fix it?
"I know, I know you wouldn't go willingly. You're that type of person too...but the ones who love you aren't. You're so kind to the ones who are broken. You become their light."
"What? I do not-" Lee began but Shikamaru continued.
"You don't see it. I know that too. You're too close to see it but I do. It's there, in every action and reaction..." Shikamaru said then he finally pulled back, just enough to look into Lee's eyes. Those eyes that looked at him with such worry. Shikamaru smiled for a moment.
"It's there in Gaara. He comes to you at night and stops himself from killing if you ask. He gave you a gift of courtship, that tongue to prove that he would take care of those who threaten you. I doubt that he'd even give it a second thought if you asked him to renounce Suna and stay in Konoha instead. He'd just agree." Shikamaru didn't even pause as he continued, "I've seen it in Hatake Kakashi. He turns to you whenever you're near. You catch his attention and keep it like you're the lock and key and he doesn't even try to break away. When your attention isn't on him, he tugs at you with words and 'intimidates' the competition. Then you give him a kind touch and he melts to you, making himself a mold that covers only you."
Lee's mind was filled with static. He wanted to cover Shikamaru's mouth, stop him from talking and making him see, but he couldn't move. His ears were taking in each word unwillingly and cementing them into his brain.
"Then there is Kabuto. He's the one I'm afraid of the most. Kakashi seems like he would keep watching from afar if you reject him. Gaara would go mad but you'd be able to talk him out of it...Kabuto...I think he would simply take you even if you said no. He keeps smiling at you in that way and it makes me want to take you far away from him. He looks at you like you are the only real one there and everyone else is just an extra in a story he doesn't care about. He's always touching you, constantly pushing to see how much you will allow him. I have a feeling if you told him you were seeing someone who wasn't an heir, they'd suddenly disappear and he'd be the first one to 'comfort' you...No, I don't think he'd care if it was an heir either."
Lee felt like cold fingers were trailing up his spine before gripping his lungs. He fought to breath but could barely take in any air. He wanted to deny it all but...but deep in his mind he knew Shikamaru was telling the truth. Shikamaru wouldn't lie to him and maybe some part of him knew that all of that was happening yet refused to acknowledge it -like with Gaara several nights ago. It wasn't bloodlust Gaara had been feeling. And the biting now wasn't just...-. He still tried to deny it, thinking that it just had to be because he looked like Sakura, but-
"And you know it's not because you look like her." Shikamaru said, like he could hear what Lee was thinking. Then his fingers curled into Lee's hair as his other hand pulled out the tie that kept it back and braided. Pink hair unraveled, forming waved that fell over his shoulders, "What does it matter that you have pink hair or green eyes. She is pretty and will most likely become a beauty as she gets older but looks are nothing compared to personality. They'd do the same if you looked like yourself. Hell, they'd probably fall even harder. I did."
Despite how his skin prickled in warning, like he was about to start shaking, Lee felt himself blushing as well. He swallowed hard, knuckles white as he gripped Shikamaru's shirt painfully tight. How could he feel the grip of fear yet feel so flustered at the same time? It was like he didn't know what was up or down anymore. What was he supposed to do with this? It was there in the open, forcing him to acknowledge what he'd been 'doing'. Maybe he could pretend that he still knew nothing but it would taint his actions, he knew that. Or he could be a true kunoichi and use it to his advantage for his mission but he didn't want to do that!
His mind whirled painfully and he could see spots in his vision from his restricted breathing. But throughout it all, his expression was eerily blank, his eyes like mirrors instead of windows.
Then he finally moved. He raised his cold hand and covered Shikamaru's mouth with his palm. Shikamaru's gaze darted down towards it, eyes widening for just a second before his brows furrowed.
"Shhh..." Lee gently hushed Shikamaru, his lips slowly forming a polite smile, "No more thinking of such things." He murmured
Shikamaru grabbed the hand against his mouth and pressed forward, giving a hard kiss to Lee's cold palm. Lee slowly tilted his head and pink fluttered in his vision instead of just in the corners. It made his polite 'smile' widen.
Shikamaru pulled Lee's hand to curve against his cheek, freeing his mouth while still having Lee touch him, "You're scared." He said, knowing it by how cold Lee's hand was. He saw Lee's 'smile' twitch. "And that's alright. It's always alright to be scared. As the saying goes, it's what you do with that fear that shows how strong you are."
"And what am I supposed to do." Lee's voice was a harsh whisper, ragged as his fingers began to subtly tremble.
Fighting, blood, war. Those he could deal with. What did he know about dealing with hearts?! He had his own ripped out and shattered, he had nothing.
"...Be you. Just...continue to be you." Shikamaru said, his brows furrowing again but this time like he wanted to frown. He looked away for just a moment before sighing and giving Lee a half smile, "More and more people are going to love you. And I know if I want the best ending, I'm going to have to share-"
"My heart is for one person alone!" Lee almost shouted, his eyes burning
"It isn't." Shikamaru spoke so gently, "I can see that too. You love me, and I'm so glad you do, I'm happy, hell, I'm over the moon about that...but you love someone else too. Before me, I'm sure, you just...get that look some times. I've seen it on others, widows who lost their partners. Then there's Kakashi and Gaara. You love them too, don't you?"
"I-, those two-, I do not love them like I love you!" Lee said, unable to speak about the other who haunted him if he wasn't careful. But it felt wrong in his mouth and his whole body began to tremble.
"It's okay Lee..." Shikamaru whispered softly, gently pulling Lee against his chest. He hugged Lee close, "Shh, it's really okay. You have such a big heart, it's what I like the most about you. You love us all and I know you'd never treat any of us as less."
Lee cried, the tears slipping down his cheeks as his shoulders shook, "How can you be so calm!? I cannot- I do not want to- It is like you are expecting me to cheat, to be unfaithful to you when I-"
"No, no, not at all. I swear." Shikamaru quickly said, holding Lee tighter, "I'm just saying that it's fine. Hey, if you find a way to only stay with me then I'm not going to argue against it. I just don't want to lose you... The path you're going down, some of those people might be dangerous, and I'd rather share your love than to have none of it at all."
Lee couldn't say anything. It still didn't feel right. It...It felt like he was so undeserving again.
Really...
Shikamaru deserved so much better...
Why was he being so selfish as to keep him for himself anyway?
Why did he want to dig his fingers into Shikamaru's very soul and-
"I love you Shika." Lee sobbed, pressing as close as he could to his love, wishing that they could merge if only to be even closer.
"I love you, my Lee."
Shikamaru sounded so soft and warm. It made his words hurt so sweetly.
Lee really was selfish but he still couldn't let go.
But Shikamaru was the same...wasn't he?
He had to be- he had to!
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