To Change
"I didn't drink at all during the First World War. During the second I only drank when I was off duty…I wish you better luck on your third war." "Alcoholics Unamious".
The kid has much ambition. Much like me when I was his age. Young. Restless. Ambitious. Ambassador of Peace. Surgeron. I thought I could conquer the world and no one can stop me. I was...well am a doctor. I believed there was fate in humanity all through the first war. I worked in conditions that made this place look like Hawaii. I didn't care; I was saving lives and that was my purpose. There were a few that could not be saved. Yes, it was horrible but I did not let it flatten me down very much. Others needed me and as the Hippocratic Oath says, I must abide by it. I barely acknowledged the bottle then.
During the second war, I didn't drink at first. I thought that this one would be just like the first one—a breeze… except for all the chemical warfare that was banned. The wounds would be the same, the faces would be young. No big deal. I was thankful for that… the damage that mustard gas did is unimaginable. But, during the second war, I don't know what happened. One day a few buddies were passing a bottle of scotch and I sipped. It was a great escape from all the bombs around me. For that, I was happy. I vowed to never get too wasted and not do my job. Sometimes I followed it; sometimes I didn't. I felt more alive and vicarious, just like this surgeon. The world was mine to own. And I did. Even then the pressure was tough and I leaned on that bottle more and more. It got me through the off days. It saved me.
Here I am now. In my third war. I'm too young to retire but too old to bear any more of this. The medicine and staff are one but the weapons of war continue to grow and cause more damage than can be fix. The contrasts between a young and old I am incredible. I used to think I can change this world for the better; I was wrong. I have become a mere sightseer waiting for some sort of direction. I have become the very thing I was fighting.
One reason why I do hide it within the bottle now…
I lift my glass in hopes that maybe, just maybe this surgeon will be the change I desperately wanted to be. Let's hope that it doesn't take him three wars to conquer it. And, let us hope he gets his act together before it is too late.