Mouth McFadden lay spread across his bed, can of Sunkist soda pop in one hand dangerously close to the laptop he was working on. Updating his site for Ravens Hoops, he sighed, taking a swig, waiting for the latest media changes to take effect. He had always been good with computers and multimedia. He had always loved basketball. He and his best friend, Jimmy Edwards, had been mock commentating Junk, Skills, Fergie and Lucas' games at the River Court for years. Then he got the big break he was looking for…popularity. With it came new friends and a new reputation. New status and a gorgeous new girlfriend. For a few months, Mouth had had it all. It was funny how life could change in an instant. What was given had been cruelly snatched away.

Heartbreak sucked, that was for sure and Mouth had learned the hard way. Public humiliation, betrayal and losing his first love. The first few days, he had literally curled up in bed and sobbed his eyes out. Life itself felt like it was over. Rachel had been his life. He loved her with all his heart. If there was no Rachel, then what else was there to look forward to? It was said there was five stages of dying…denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. In the physical flesh, Mouth certainly wasn't going anywhere but inside, he was slowly fading.

Denial. No! It couldn't be! Rachel loved him. She really loved him. They didn't know anything. Brooke was just jealous. Rachel would never cheat on him. She'd never hurt him. They just didn't know her. They saw the beauty and the confidence and just assumed she was a heartless bitch. But they didn't know her, not the real her, not like he knew her. She had a kind and vulnerable side. And no one knew their relationship. None of them were with he and Rachel in bed, when they made love and held each other and cried and she looked in his eyes and said he was the best thing that had ever happened to her. No, they didn't know that. And that's why it couldn't be. Rachel would never leave him. She wasn't interested in Cooper Lee. It was just a few innocent dance lessons. What did they know? He trusted her and why not? She was his girlfriend and she had given him her word. That was everything…or at least it was supposed to be.

Anger. Fuck it! He had trashed everything in the house. Hell, he had even put his fist through a wall, not even caring how much it hurt. He had screamed at the top of his lungs. How dare she! How dare they! What a fucking whore! He should have listened to everyone. You can't turn a ho into a housewife, right? Stupid bitch! He had given her the world. He had given her love. He had been there for her when no one else cared. He trusted her, he gave her his heart. He believed her, he believed in their future together. And what had she done? Shit all over him, spit in his face. And Cooper? 30 year old, trying to be hip, over played, over processed, pretty boy! Get a fucking life! Who the hell was that guy and what gave him the right, with all his money and Hollywood good lucks to just come and ruin Mouth's life? Then there were his friends, the ones who had predicted it. Well, damn them, too! In fact, damn everybody. Mouth was sick of being hurt, sick of being the "nice guy", sick of losing out. It wasn't fair. They didn't have that right to destroy his life! Didn't those bastards know just how much their actions were hurting him, killing him inside? Did they even care?

Bargaining. Okay. Okay, okay. If God or Rachel or Cooper or whoever could just turn back time and make it right, then everything would be okay. And Mouth would do anything. Eat Brussel Sprouts for a month, say his prayers every night, hell flip the script and sell his soul to the Devil if that's what it took. Whatever it took because nothing was more important than Rachel and their relationship and the happiness she had brought to him. And he was willing to do anything to get it all back.

Depression. Did you know if you cried long enough, your tear ducts would actually dry up and stop producing tears for a while? Did you know it's possible to stay in bed for a week straight? Or did you know when you put your thought into it, there were dozens of ways to attempt suicide? But Mouth didn't have the energy. All he could do was lie there and cry. He reminisced about the good times. He prayed for her to come back. He wished that it never would have happened in the first place. And nothing would ever be the same again. Life would never be as good. He'd never find someone as wonderful as Rachel. And why did it have to happen to him? He'd always tried to be such a good person. And for what? For nothing. For the dull, never ending ache in his heart?

Acceptance…

Mouth smiled as he received another IM from Jimmy. Modern technology was awesome and so was life…or at least it was getting better. He was able to smile again and even laugh. The only thing he could do was take it one day at a time and more and more often, the days were only seeming to get better. Time didn't heal all wounds but it certainly helped.

He heard the knock on his bedroom door and didn't even bother to turn around. Instead he took another sip from the soda can and pressed a button on the keyboard as he yawned. It was still early in the day but he had been on the website for hours. Maybe it was time for a break.

"What's up, Mom?"

"It's me", finally came a small voice after a rather long pause.

Mouth felt himself freeze as if time itself literally stood still.

"Rachel", he said, rather surprised as he got up.

She forced a meek smile. She was casually dressed and although tired looking, she was as pretty as ever.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"Can I…I mean, is it okay if I come in? Your dad said you were up here…"

"Yeah", he swallowed hard. "Um, come in. Have a seat."

She pulled up a chair and sat down close to him near the bed.

"How have you been?"

He eyed her carefully.

"Fine. And you?"

"Okay, I guess", she shrugged. "I see you're online…"

He let out a breath. Mouth could no longer take it.

"Rachel, what's going on?"

"Mouth…"

"Enough with the small talk. We haven't seen each other in weeks and we both know what happened then. I don't want to be rude, but why are you even here? Why'd you come?"

"I couldn't stay away any longer."

"Rachel…"

"I had to see you even though I know I'm probably the last person you wanted to see."

"Rach…"

"I know you must hate me."

"I don't."

"Why not? God, don't make this so easy. You are like the nicest guy in the world. Please don't sit here and treat me so good when I don't deserve it."

"You don't deserve to be yelled at or disrespected."

"But I really hurt you."

He took a deep breath.

"That you did."

"You didn't deserve that. You were so good to me and you deserved so much more than what you got."

"I know", he answered quietly.

"Mouth, I want you to know just how sorry I am…"

"Look, Rachel, I know you are…"

"I don't think you do. I am. I really am. I mean, there are no words to describe how I feel about what I've done. And I'm not just saying it because I got caught or because Cooper left."

"Then why are you saying it?"

"Because I was wrong. I wasn't honest with you. I wasn't even honest with me. I really messed up. I don't know why I did this."

He looked right at her.

"So why did you do it?"

It was a fair enough question that certainly deserved an answer.

"I, I don't know. I don't have an excuse. Nothing I say is gonna make it right or make it better. I was stupid, plain and simple. The grass looked greener on the other side but it turned out it wasn't. I couldn't help being attracted to Cooper. I knew it was nothing but bad news. I knew he was older and it would be trouble. More importantly I knew I had a wonderful and loving boyfriend already. I should have put my foot down and not let it get so far. I shouldn't have put myself in so many situations with the chance for stuff to happen. I…I wasn't thinking, Mouth."

"And Brooke?"

Rachel shook her head.

"You ever heard of toy box syndrome?"

"No", Mouth shook his head.

"There's a toy just sitting there hanging out at the bottom of the toy chest and it might be nice enough but the little kid never wants to play with it…"

"That is until another kid comes by and does."

Rachel hung her head.

"Exactly. Brooke and I compete over everything, you know that. I was being petty about this. It wasn't supposed to go this far."

"But it did."

"It did and I'm sorry. I am so sorry. You have to believe that."

"Rachel, I do."

"I am sorry for humiliating you and hurting you. I'm sorry for being dishonest. I'm sorry for not being the girlfriend you thought you had…or the one you deserve."

"It's okay but why are you here? I mean, why now?"

"Because I made the single biggest mistake of my life. You are everything, Mouth. I had it made. I love you very much. We were happy. I thought I needed space and I thought I needed someone else but I was so wrong. All I needed was what was right in front of me. I needed you."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying please take me back. I want us again."

Mouth closed his eyes.

"Rachel…"

"I mean it. I really mean it."

"I know you do. Look, this, you coming here really took me off guard. It's the last thing I expected. And that's crazy because for days, weeks all I did was mope around and want you to come back and say those words. It's what I've been dying to hear."

Tears of relief spilled down her cheeks as she reached over to hug him.

"I knew it'd be okay. Mouth, I love you so much and I swear I'll never ever hurt you again! We're gonna be so happy and…"

"No, we're not."

"What?"

"You heard me, Rachel."

"Mouth…"

"It's over between us", he whispered.

Her entire face fell as tears began to form.

"What? No. No, Mouth. Don't say that. You don't mean that. Please don't say that to me."

"Yes, I do mean it."

"I…but I thought, but you said you loved me, that you do love me."

"I love you with all my heart. Always will probably. Rachel, love isn't a fickle thing. It doesn't just turn on and off, at least not real love anyway."

"Then how can you do this to me? To us?"

"You did this."

"Mouth…"

"I'm not trying to be mean or play the blame game or throw what happened in your face but it is what it is, Rachel and you're the one that did this to us, not me."

Water spilled uncontrollably from her eyes.

"I made a mistake. Can't you forgive me?"

"Of course I can. I already have. I have forgiven you and I still love you very much."

"Then why can't we be together again?"

Mouth looked her square in the face.

"Because I can't trust you."

"I ruined our relationship. I know how much I hurt you. Do you honestly think I'd do something like that again?"

"I don't know."

"Mouth…"

"That's the thing, Rachel. That's what happens when you lose trust in someone. That's what happens when the seed of doubt has been planted. Maybe you won't do it again but how am I supposed to know that?"

"Because you just do. It's what is in our hearts."

He shook his head.

"I forgave you but I can't forget. And I can't live my life in constant fear or suspicion that you're gonna cheat on me. I can't be on edge every time you walk out the door and you aren't in my sight and I'm afraid that's exactly what would happen if we got back together. How am I supposed to know that if another Cooper comes along, you won't do the same thing?"

"Because I won't. I'm telling you."

"You did it before and I never thought you would have pulled something like that."

"That's not fair. Look at me", she practically begged. "It's me and you know the real me. Mouth, I made one mistake and you can't hold that over me for the rest of my life. I'm not a liar or a cheater and I won't ever let what just happened, happen again. I promise that. And you have to believe it because it's what I'm telling you."

"I'm sorry, Rachel. Those are just words. They are heartfelt words and I think you believe them and you have no idea how much I want to believe them but still, they're just that…they are words. Anybody can see anything but it's the actions that really count. You say one thing but you did another. You hurt me. I don't know if I can ever trust you again. And a part of me is still mad that I wasn't good enough for you. You chose another man over me, a supposedly better man than me and now it's like when he doesn't want you and it's not what you thought it would be, you come crawling back."

"It's not like that."

"Loyalty is everything to me. Without it, what kind of relationship, even friendship can we have?"

"But I love you", she cried. "I miss you."

"I love you and I miss you, too but it's better this way. Right now, it's the only way. I don't want hard feelings between us but it's just best that we go our separate ways."

"What can I do? What can I do to change your mind, to show you how sorry I am? I want a second chance."

"There is nothing, I'm sorry. I still care about you and I want you to be okay. Rachel, I was rooting for you when we were just friends, then when we became a couple and I'm still rooting for you now but I can't go back with you. What you did tore me up and I can get over that but things will never be the same."

She looked right at him, knowing that he was dead serious. Both their hearts were breaking but he had spoken. She knew she had messed up, just not that bad. But it was worse. The mental and emotional damage had been done and it was beyond repair.

"I'm so sorry…"

"Yeah", he replied sadly. "Me, too."

"I, um, I guess I'm gonna go", she stood, wiping her eyes.

He saw her to the door.

"Take care of yourself, Rachel."

She fought against more tears.

"Yeah…you, too."

And that was it. It was the end. Just like that. All she could do was walk away. Sometimes you just didn't get that second chance.