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Jameson is resting at home while Daryl does exterior patrols. She promises to take it easy but she's going a little stir crazy. After speaking to Carl and Rick the day before she's been feeling better about what happened. It isn't necessarily that she felt bad about killing the men but she felt that she took too much pleasure from it. They deserved to be dispatched from the living but Jameson knew that the extent of damage she inflicted on the one man was beyond normal.
All of the townies are avoiding her. She is a solitary person, even living in a town so it didn't necessarily bother her. Unfortunately she has heard that descriptions of what she did to the men were getting around. Some of it is exaggerated but most is pretty accurate. She had mutilated the guy and now people were talking. Sasha tells her that a couple townies are saying that Jameson shouldn't be trusted any longer, that anyone who can murder people shouldn't be allowed to stay. They are talking about how dangerous she is and not any better than the monsters beyond the walls. Jameson tries to not be bothered by their distrust but it still stings.
Deciding to take a walk for some fresh air, Jameson starts off along the tiny residential street. She sees John and Abby on their front porch and stops to see how they were adapting to town life.
"Hey Abby," Jameson says with a small smile.
"Jameson! Dad said you were back. What happened to your face?" Abby asks, hopping down the steps. Jameson looks up and sees John's pensive face. She curses herself for making everyone uncomfortable. It is obvious he has heard the details of the incident.
"Had a little accident. I'm ok." Jameson answers the little girl while kneeling down to give her a hug. "Ya been good while I was gone? Going to school?"
"Yep. Dad says I'm smart. I get to read the big kids books now," Abby brags with a big grin. Jameson smiles and nods saying, "I thought you were a smarty pants."
"How've you been John? They get you working the construction teams?" Jameson asks, trying to lessen the man's discomfort.
"Yeah, working with Jack and Abraham to get a couple new buildings done." John says shifting from one foot to the other. "Hey Abby will ya go in the house and get me a bottle of water?"
"Sure dad. Can I have a snack?" Abby asks bouncing up the stairs. " 'course baby girl. Grab a apple."
The girl bounds inside and John turns to Jameson.
"Look John I know that you've heard stuff but I'm not a danger or anything," she says, chewing on her lip.
"What? Why would I think that?" John asks his brow furrowed. "I was just gonna ask you if you were doin' ok. I heard….about what happened."
"I know people are talking about me losing it, that I'm dangerous. Just don't want people to think I'd do that here. It was just…a bad situation." Jameson says averting her eyes.
"Well I heard a stupid rumor but it doesn't matter. People who get scared because you did what ya had to, haven't been out there. Surviving out there is difficult in more ways than one." John explains, sitting on the steps. Jameson bit her cheek and nods, looking away. "Thanks." She says quietly and then adds, "I'm gonna take a walk. Thanks for asking, I'm ok." John scratches his beard and says, "No problem, if ya need anything just let me know."
Smiling Jameson nods and continues down the street. It wasn't that she was necessarily surprised that people are scared of her now. She scared herself but after all she has done for the town Jameson was hoping it wouldn't be a problem.
'Guess there's always gotta be a hater,' Jameson thought wryly.
At the corner she notices Deanna walking towards her and sighs. "Hi Jameson I was just coming to see you," the pinched faced lady says.
Jameson nods and asks, "Whatcha need Deanna?"
"I just wanted to tell you thank you. Alan told me how you saved Daryl and him, not to mention yourself. I just want you to know that I appreciate you getting everyone back safely. " Deanna says, surprising Jameson with her sincerity since the two women don't normally see eye to eye.
"Umm thanks Deanna. Just glad to be back," Jameson mutters, scuffing her shoe on the uneven cement pathway, feeling awkward with the compliment.
"Rick told me about...the assault. I wanted to let you know that one of our residents is a counselor. She used to work with rape and abuse victims. If you'd like I can have her visit with you." the older woman says, patting Jameson on the shoulder.
"I'm fine." Jameson says frowning slightly. She didn't know that the specific details had been leaked. Jameson feels embarrassed by the thought everyone knowing about the attempted rape. It makes her think they will see her as weak now. A stupid weak woman.
"Nothin' happened and I'm ok," Jameson adds, looking away from the woman's observant eyes.
"Rick and I were talking about when you're healed you teaching some self defense classes. There's also talk about requiring physical training. We need to get people in shape to take care of themselves and others," Deanna says looking at a group of women chat across the road and adds, "Our group needs to be able to defend themselves from people like the men you ran into."
Jameson nods and chews on her lip. After a moment she says, "Yeah ok. I could do that. Michonne and Jack would be good helping with classes also. They both know how to fight well and are good with physical training regimens."
Deanna nods and gives her a tight smile and says, "Ok well once you're able we will get everything up and running. Thank you again Jameson. I know we have had our difficulties but I want you to know that we appreciate what you've done for the town."
Jameson nods awkwardly and says a quiet, "Thanks."
They part ways and Jameson continues on her walk. Jameson doesn't know if she disgusts the townies or if they are just curious about what happened but she keeps her head down avoiding the prying eyes. Since her face is still bruised and her wrists are wrapped in gauze, there is no way to hide what happened.
As she approaches the construction site of a new building she sees Jack and Abraham bent over some blueprints. Thankfully Reg had already drafted up plans for additional buildings. All they need to do is follow them and possibly use them for future projects.
"Hey Jamesie, how ya feelin?" Jack asks while approaching her. He tilts her chin up to see the bruising around her eyes. "At least they aren't swollen shut." He comments with a small smile.
Jameson shrugs and says, "Not the worst black eyes I've had."
Jacks nods and gives her a one armed hug. She pats his back and pulls away. He juts his chin towards Abraham and asks her, "Ya wanna see the plans we got?"
They wander over and look at the giant paper plans on a makeshift table.
"Jameson." Abraham greets her and squeezes her shoulder with his large hand. "Glad your back."
Jameson smiles and nods in response. She looks over the plans and sees it is a drawing for a multi family home, small studio apartments that share a kitchen and living space.
"Looks good, definitely give us more space to spread out." She says while looking over at the foundation they've already poured. The two men point out a few issues they are having with the build and the lack of supplies. Jameson listens and thinks over where they might be able to find the building materials they need. She tells them she will look over the maps Daryl and her were putting together of the area north of town. They may have found more construction sites or building supplies stores. With a short farewell she continues her walk around town. Her stomach is hurting at this point but she doesn't want to go back to the house. Making her way towards the gardens she glances up and sees Derrick and Jonesy tilling soil for a new crop of vegetables.
"Jameson! Glad to see you up and about." Jonesy shouts while Derrick looks her up and down. Her eyes tighten slightly at feeling his gaze.
"Hey, heard ya ran into trouble. Didn't know it was that bad." Derrick tells her while walking over. "It broken?" he asks gesturing to her nose.
"Nah just bruised. It's fine." Jameson says feeling uncomfortable with his stare. Jameson would have avoiding talking to the man if Jonesy hadn't called her over. He still looks at her to intensely. She sees him looking at her bruised and scabbed hands. Derrick squints at them and then looks away. "They need to give you better back up when you're out there," He says flatly turning to look in her eyes.
Jameson glares at him for a moment and snaps, "I had perfectly good back. There are no guarantees out there. Shit happens." Jameson shakes her head and leaves the two abruptly, heading back home. She was fed up with people judging others actions or decisions when they have no personal experiences in similar situations.
She is walking up the porch steps when Daryl flings the front door open. "Ya ain't supposed to be walking around. Ya need to rest." He says angrily.
Jameson shrugs and brushes past him, walking into the kitchen.
"I need some air Daryl. Please don't get on my case. Would you wanna sit around all day not doing anything?" she says, pulling out a bottle of water.
Daryl follows her, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. "Just….will ya wait for me to come with ya next time?" he asks, biting his thumb nervously.
Jameson turns and looks at the worried man in front of her. "Ok Daryl but I will need to get back into the swing of things. Deanna and Rick want me to teach self-defense and PT to the residents. Once this stomach wound is healed I am gonna start training again." She tells him while sipping her water.
"Ok that's fine but ya gotta heal first." He offers, walking closer to her. He watches for any distress before reaching up, brushing hair off her sweaty forehead. Jameson leans in, placing her head against his chest as he wraps his arms around her. She wants to assure him that she will be fine. Feeling skittish after the attack is inevitable but she doesn't think it will be a problem with Daryl.
"Glad your feelin' good enough to walk around," he says quietly. "Just worry 'bout ya." He feels her nod against his chest as he tightens his arms slightly. "Me too," she mumbles suddenly feeling exhausted. "I'm gonna take a nap, wanna join me?"
Daryl looks down and nods, pulling her towards the bedroom. Crawling into bed they settle down and curl around each other. Jameson is happy her body isn't acting defensively. Truthfully she had been worried that her anxiety may take over. The first time she had been assaulted back when she was alone, she dealt with staggering panic attacks and nightmares. Feeling stronger and less effected by it was both assuring and disturbing. No one should be used to that type of violence.
Two weeks pass quickly and Jameson is feeling almost fully recovered. Her hand suffers from some nerve damage since the cut had been so deep. She can use it fine but there is residual numbness in her palm and pinkie finger. Her stomach is also feeling much better, having only occasional pain when twisting. Jameson is working on strengthening her abdomen and building her tolerance back by working out with Michonne every other day. Usually they do a handful of laps around the interior wall and then follow up with weight training. Jameson likes working out with Michonne because they do it in silence most of the time. Neither woman enjoys idle chitchat. They discuss pertinent information but leave the gossip for the others.
Physical training is now a requirement for citizens. They aren't as demanding as the workouts that Jameson and Michonne partake in but are improving the groups strength. Required self-defense classes are beginning that afternoon. Jameson is spearheading the program with Michonne and Jack subbing as trainers. Abraham is also helping with the physical training having had military experience with PT.
"You excited about doing self-defense classes?" Michonne asks as they pass the supply building a fourth time. Jameson nods slightly and says, "It's important. Hopefully they're quick learners cuz I can get frustrated easily with idiots."
Michonne laughs and gives her a grin. "You never!" she says sarcastically.
Jameson rolls her eyes and teases, "Ya ain't any better lady. I'm pretty sure you make them pee their pants with the scowls you throw around. You're as bad as Daryl with your stink eye."
Michonne laughs again as they approach the finish line they have designated. They do warm down stretches and decided to forego the weight training since they will be teaching a class. Walking over to their house for a snack before the class starts they look up to see Maggie and Glenn walking back from the clinic. Maggie has started to show from her pregnancy. Glenn has been more relaxed now that time has passed from the disastrous supply run. His face has a large grin on it as they walk down the sidewalk holding hands. Jameson smiles and asks them how their appointment went.
Glenn looks at Maggie with a questioning looks as she nods slightly, her cheeks blushing. "It's a boy!" he says with his eyes alight with happiness.
"That's great guys," Jameson says, giving Maggie a one armed hug. Michonne smiles and says congratulations. They speak for a little about how the pregnancy is going while they walk home. Once there they go their separate ways, Michonne and Jameson eat lunch and then head to the park where classes are going to be held.
The class is going smoothly. Consisting of eight women and two teenage boys, Jameson is showing them hand-to-hand combat skills. The next part of the class is going to be escape maneuvers. Jameson is slightly apprehensive since the last time she was grabbed was that fateful attack two weeks ago. However Jack is going to be playing the aggressor and assures her that everything will be fine.
"Ok guys we are going to show you techniques of escaping an attack from behind," Jack says while motioning to Jameson. Her breathing picks up slightly but she squashes her unease, reasoning with herself that its only Jack.
Jameson faces away from Jack and tells the group, "Now like I told you, the best way to avoid being taken by surprise is being aware of your surroundings at all times. For this demonstration though we are going to assume that you are caught of guard. Even veterans make mistakes." Jameson shakes her head slightly thinking about how she fucked up and what it almost cost her. Glancing over she sees Rick standing off to the side watching the class. She isn't sure if he is just checking up on them or if he is worried about her ability to do it but it makes her nervous all the same.
Jack stands closely behind her and says quietly, "You can do this. Just remember it's me and your safe." He can see the tension in her shoulders and the slight tremor in her hand. He carefully wraps an arm around Jameson, putting her in a loose headlock.
"Now your attacker has gotten you by surprise. He is going to want to subdue you and control the situation. In order to get out of this hold you will need to keep a level head and not panic." Jameson explains.
She slides her hands to Jacks forearm, pulling to loosen his grip but he tightens it.
Jameson takes a breath, quelling her anxiety. "You gotta try and loosen his grip. Pulling on his forearm can sometimes do it but if you are being grabbed by someone Jack's size you won't have the strength or the leverage. While pulling you want to duck your chin like this," Jameson says, lower her chin to rest on her chest. "This move keeps your attacker from tightening his arm around your neck. You also want to widen your stance allowing you more stability."
She relaxes her body slightly, widening her stance, she tucks her chin down to get his arm from under her chin, loosening his hold.
"Now we wanna get him to loosen his grip even more and to do that you gotta use the places you can reach to your advantage. Throwing an elbow back into his rib, stomping on his foot and elbowing or grabbing his groin are possibilities." Jameson demonstrates the options.
Slowly showing the move of an elbow into his ribs while demonstrating a stomp to his toes of the opposite side. "These two in combination can be enough to throw him off balance. If he is off balance the less likely he will be able to hold on to you." Jameson shows how she can now squirm away. "At this point if you have a weapon you can injury or kill him. If you have a blade aiming for the throat is your best bet. The chest won't work because of the amount of bone. You can aim for the stomach but it won't do enough damage unless you go in and then drag it upwards." Jameson says and looks around to all their faces. It's a mixture of horror and concentration.
"Now if you have no weapon, throwing hits like these,"Jameson says while showing the group punches to the throat, a knee to the groin and gouging in the eyes.
"Ok now we will do a full on example," Jameson says looking at Jack to make sure he wants to go through with it.
"I'll be fine Jameson. I trust you to not kill me," He jokes but raises a questioning eyebrow. Jameson smiles warily, feeling completely unsure how she's going to react.
They repeat the scenario but Jack holds her more firmly. His arm tightens more aggressively. Jameson's heart rate picks up as she has a flash of the event in the police station. She blinks her eyes trying to clear her mind as the panic that starts to roll through her but her instincts take over. She moves quickly, doing exactly what she's shown the class but hits Jack harder the necessary.
"Umph," Jack grunts out as he is elbowed in the ribs and has is foot stomped on. Jameson turns quickly pulling out of his grip, forgetting the practiced steps.
Sliding under his arm as he tries to grab her on unstable feet, she rotates around him like she did to the man in the police station. Her mind is clouded with a flashback. She doesn't see Jack or the class watching. All her body feels is the presence of danger. Jack says her name but she doesn't react.
Taking advantage of his shock from the rib and foot combo she hops on his back putting him in a chokehold. She wraps her legs around his abdomen and squeezes as hard as she can, crushing the air out of his lungs.
"Umphfuckdamn, JAMESON." He grumbles out loudly as she tights her arms so he can't get his hands under or duck his chin like she did to him. Jack drops to his knees and then starts tapping her shoulder with his hand trying to signal his surrender but her brain is overwhelmed.
Jameson without thinking about the action pulls a knife, putting it to his throat. She feels arms gripping her from behind but it doesn't stop her.
"Jameson, let got. Your ok. Stop!" Rick is hollering, pulling the hand back with the knife. She is panting and shaking from the adrenaline. Her mind snaps back into the present and she jumps back from Jack.
"Fuck, fuckin." She mutters, shaking her head. She tosses her knife down and bends over, hands on her knees while gasping for air. Jack is on the ground bent over coughing from the pressure she had placed on his neck. Jameson feels her eyes burning with unshed tears, her chest is heaving while her body shakes from the panic. Jack stumbles to his feet turning around and approaches her slowly. "Jameson, you're good. It's ok." He tells her touching her shoulder but she yanks away. "Don't," she snaps and takes a deep shaky breath. Out of the corner of her eye she sees the horrified faces of her class.
"Can't….Can't do this," she shakily, looking up at Rick. She turns her back to everyone walking away to the edge of the park, scrubbing her face. Jameson's chest clenches at the thought of what she almost did. She isn't sure if she would've really stabbed him or not but it is frightening her. Jack walks up but approaches her from the side rather than from behind. "Jameson come on, come with me." He says gently, reaching his hand out. Jack tries to assure, "I'm ok Jamesie, It's ok."
Jameson looks over, her face crumbling from the regret. Her eyes blur as he pulls her into a hug. "I'm s-sorry. I just…it. I don't" she stammers griping his t-shirt in her fists. "Jack I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry," Jameson keeps repeating, feeling guilt crush her.
Rick disperses the group telling them they will continue the class tomorrow. Everyone is murmuring and giving Jameson sidelong glances. She fears that she is provided them with more evidence of her instability.
Jack pulls away, wiping her face with his hands. "We shouldn't have put you in that situation. It's my fault. Come Jamesie please don't cry," He begs, pulling her into another tight hug.
They stand there for a few minutes before he pulls her along with him. His arm wrapped protectively over her shoulders. Jack glares at everyone who stares as they pass, snapping out quick 'fuck offs' to those who continue to send judgmental eyes their way. Jameson and Jack get to their house. They find Rick and Daryl speaking quietly on the porch. Jameson bites the inside of her cheek trying to subdue her anxiety. Daryl looks at her with sad eyes and it crushes her. Pity is not something she wants anyone to feel for her, especially Daryl.
'Just another fuckin broken girl,' she berates herself, walking up the steps. Daryl reaches out but she shakes her head once. Jack is still holding her close to his side and for some reason Jameson can't pull herself away. The fact that she almost stabbed her brother is ripping her apart.
They walk in and Jack sits with her in the living room. "It's gonna be fine Jameson," he says pushing her sweaty hair out of her face. Squeezing her eyes shut she takes a deep breath. "I almost fuckin' killed you Jack," she mumbles.
"Ya wouldn't have done it." Jack reasons but sounding less convinced of the statement. "We just won't do that scenario with you anymore."
"I don't think I am the right person to teach self-defense." Jameson states after a few moments of awkward silence.
Daryl and Rick enter the house after finishing their conversation. Rick walks over kneeling in front of Jameson. He puts a hand on her knee and says, "It's ok Jameson. It's normal to still have reactions like that. We shouldn't have pushed ya to do it. I shouldn' t have put ya in that situation." Rick looks at her with sad eyes, shaking his head. "Shoulda known better." He mumbles, looking down.
Jameson shakes her head and rants, "No I shouldn't be so fuckin' weak that I flip out like that. I'm fuckin' dangerous. I can't be trusted to teach them shit. My mind is fucked up. They already think I am a nut job. They all know what I did to that guy. I've heard them talking. I just showed them how fuckin' unstable I am." She stands up and starts pacing. Daryl reaches out grabbing her wrist. "Stop Jameson. Ya ain't unstable and ya ain't fucked up. Ya have every reason in the world to be upset like that. Fuck them for thinking you can't be trusted." He says, pulling her to him. She tries to pull away but he doesn't let her.
"C'mere girl." He says quietly but firmly.
Daryl wraps his arm around her, holding her against his chest. Jameson takes a deep breath but the weight of everything crashes into her all at once. A sob bubbles out of her chest, her fists clutching his leather vest like he's going to slip away. Cries wrack through her as her head pounds and knees weaken. Daryl doesn't hesitate, he slides his arm under her knees, picking her up and walking her into their bedroom. He leaves the other two men in the living room, knowing that Jameson wouldn't like witnesses to her breakdown. Daryl sits on the sofa in their room, holding her in his lap while rocking her slightly. Her cries lessen after a few minutes, turning into short gasps.
"You're ok. I gotcha. Gonna be ok, darlin'" he murmurs against her hair, kissing her temple and head. "You're gonna be fine. I gotcha."
Daryl makes me swoon. Sorry for all the angst but I wanted to show that despite Jameson's strengths she is still human, not superwoman.
I believe anyone would have some emotional issues after a incident like she experienced.I also want to say I am not a self defense expert! I did a little research but I am not going to pretend to know what I am talking about!
Thank you for reading! Please follow, favorite and review!