Happy Birthday To: Itsuki Marehiko, August 31st.

Word Count: 536

Rating: K

Genre: Humor.

Warnings: Not beta'd. CRACK.

Notes: For some reason, I had EXTREME difficulty with this chapter. It almost killed me. Or something. So that's why it's so random and cracktastic! Anyway... please enjoy. Oh! And read at your own risk. This author is not responsible for any brain melting that may be caused by Itsuki's over use of questions.

Itsuki Marehiko had never been big on birthdays. After all, what was the point? Why were they there? Why did they exist? Why did people only celebrate you ones a year? Why, why, why? No, he had never understood the point of birthdays (and nobody has bothered to take the time to explain them to him, since that would just lead to more questions). Nor did he understand the point of birthday cards. After all, they were just pieces of unusually colored paper with words written on them. Why? Why were they like that? Why were they not actual cards? Why were they made thicker paper? Itsuki did not know. At least, not until he opened the yellow (why was it yellow?) envelope that contained a green and white card that was covered in people (why was it green and white and covered in people?). He was about to go ask somebody why, when he saw a note on the inside flap of the envelope (why was it on the envelope and not in the card?).

"Dear Itsuki,

Don't ask questions, just read.

Happy Birthday.

-The Team"

Why did they want him to just read it? Despite his curiosity and the strong urge to go ask them, he decided that he should probably do as they said. Pulling the card out, he read:

So anyway, I'm standing in line to buy you a freakin' birthday card, and the line is like, seventeen billion people long 'cause the only thing the dumb teenage boy at the register is thinking about is the dumb teenage girl, at the other register, and some lady is turning her purse inside out to come up with "exact change," like she's gonna win some kind of "exact change trophy", or something, and some idiot starts up with his "This item was marked with the sale price" crap, and I just really hope you like this card...

Why? He wondered. Why was the dumb teenage boy thinking about the dumb teenage girl? Why was some lady trying to come up with exact change? Why was she going to – or not going to – get an exact change trophy? Why was that item marked with a sale price? And why did they hope he liked it? Why? This card was so confusing! Mentally frustrated, he opened the card and read the final few words.

Cause I stole it.

Happy birthday.

Lo and behold, there was the answer to his question! That was why they hoped he liked it!

But… what about birthdays? And cards? Why were they certain colors? And what was up with the dumb teenage boy and the dumb teenage girl? How about the old lady? Or the sale prices? Better yet, why did they steal the card? Why, why, why?

Two miles away, the Rokkaku regulars (minus the birthday boy) were grabbing a bite to eat. Around a mouthful of fries, Kisarazu Ryou asked, "do you think he card'll overload his brain and get him to stop asking so many questions?" The others gave shrugs and half-nods.

"Let's hope so," Bane said as the others agreed.

They had no idea what was about to hit them.

Ending A/N: Wooo! The end! Are you still able to function? Does your brain have yet to leak out of your ears? Then drop me a review! I'd really, really appreciate it! Also, Ahotep (much love!) told me that An's birthday was June 28th. I might go back and just post a chapter for her or something -- just add it briefly at the end of the summary, and put it in the correct chapter order by date and stuff. Any thoughts?

Next up: Higashikata Masami When?: September 10th.