To tell or not to tell?

Ryan stopped at Starbucks on the way home and picked up the breakfast he had promised Marissa. He couldn't stop thinking about all that Julie had said. He didn't know how to feel. It was all a little too much to take in. He couldn't believe how much his life had changed in the last 10 days. But one thing he did know was there was no going back.

---

When he got home the house was still quiet. He figured Marissa must be still in bed. He placed the breakfast in the kitchen and walked upstairs to wake her up. She rolled over as he walked in the room.

"Hey sleepy head." He sat beside her and lent in for a kiss.

"Hey yourself. Where's this breakfast you promised me?" she asked as she sat up pulling the sheet with her to cover her nakedness.

"Downstairs." He started to stroke his fingers up and down her arm that was on top of the sheet. "Are you coming down for it or would you like me to bring it up?"

"How about you bring it up here? I rather like the idea of breakfast in bed. I remember eating in bed with you last weekend." Her face broke into a big smile. "Those strawberries and cream we had were really delicious."

Ryan laughed remembering their activities with the strawberries and whipped cream. "Okay just give me a minute. Do you want whipped cream with your muffin?" he asked raising his eyebrows.

"Only if you promise to lick it off." She suggested.

"What the muffin?" Ryan asked innocently.

"No… me." Marissa smiled, loving the little game they were playing.

"You really are decadent…" He turned towards the door and called over his shoulder "and I love it."

Ryan raced down and grabbed the food, coffees and a tray and of course the container of whipped cream from the fridge and went back to the bedroom.

"Here we go. Just as madam ordered." Ryan said giving her his cute half smile as he placed the tray on the bed.

"Oh very fancy. Does madam get everything she orders?"

"Well within reason. What else did you need?" he smiled thinking he knew where this was leading.

"You to lose the clothes would be good start."

Ryan smiled and hurriedly went to pull off his shoes, jeans and t-shirt.

"Nooo. Do it slowly. I'd like to watch."

Ryan looked at her. "You're joking right?"

"No. Remember I did a strip for you last night after my modelling. I think the least you could do for me is to return the favour. I'll even hum the tune if it will make it easier."

Ryan laughed. "You really are asking for it"

"Yep. And I'm hoping to get it." Marissa smiled looking forward to Ryan doing a little striptease for her. She let the sheet drop a little, just to give him a small preview of what she was offering if he was a good boy and did as she asked.

Ryan groaned wanting to speed things along. He needed to feel her beneath him. "But Ris. It's alright for you. You're gorgeous. People would pay money to watch you take your clothes off. I mean. I'm just me. The bits all work but I don't really think you want to just sit there and watch. I'm scared you might change your mind about being with me." Ryan didn't know why he suddenly felt so uncomfortable about the whole thing. It was not as if Marissa hadn't seen him naked many times before. Hell she'd explored his body like no other person ever had….. or would, as far as he was concerned.

"Ryan. Let me assure you. If the building industry ever collapses, you could make a very nice living out of modelling. Women would gladly pay to look at your body. Although we could end up broke because I'd buy all the tickets. I don't want anyone else getting any ideas about you."

At her words, Ryan felt sick. He wondered if his reluctance to strip in front of Marissa was somehow linked to the little episode with Julie earlier. There's no doubt that Julie definitely had ideas about him when she had shoved her naked breasts in his face. Although he was sure it was more to do with trying to get some dirt on him than any attraction she felt. He didn't know how to bring up with Marissa where he had been. He was afraid that she would be angry. Hell, he knew she would be angry and so he had thought he would just put it off for a while. At least until after 'breakfast'. But he felt so guilty about keeping it from her he couldn't think straight. They had come so far and they had promised to have no secrets.

Marissa started to get worried by his silence. She couldn't help but think back to what had happened last night with Annabel. There was no doubt in her mind that Annabel definitely had ideas about him. But Marissa was hoping that she had put those all to rest. Had something more happened than she had realised. There was no doubt that Annabel had been almost as embarrassed as Marissa. Was there more to it? "Ry? What is it? If something's worrying you, you should just tell me. I know Annabel has a crush on you. So if you are thinking about her having ideas about you then don't worry. I think I made it pretty clear to her last night that you are off the market. And she seemed okay with it."

"What?" Ryan replied. As if he didn't have enough to worry about with Julie now Marissa thought that Annabel was interested in him. "I'm sure you're wrong."

"Typical male. You can be so totally clueless. But you're cute when you're clueless. I can assure you that Annabel definitely had ideas about you. And they certainly weren't of the employer/employee type."

Ryan thought back to the previous night. He remembered looking at Annabel sitting on the lounge after Marissa had fled back into the bedroom to put on some clothes. She was clutching her shirt around her neck and now that he thought about it, the buttons on her shirt were definitely undone. He had been too busy with everything else that was going on and his own predicament (the swelling in his pants) to really think about it but maybe Marissa had saved him from an even more embarrassing situation. If she hadn't walked in when she did, then what had Annabel been planning on doing with her shirt undone. He couldn't deal with thoughts about Annabel right now. "Well I'm sure she realises that I'm not interested."

"She better if she knows what's good for her…. Now about the clothes?"

Marissa could see that he was uncomfortable and she didn't think it was just about the clothes.

---

Ryan knew that he couldn't keep it from Marissa any longer. He had to come clean and tell Marissa about his visit with Julie. "Um. I don't want you to over-react but I saw someone when I went to get breakfast."

"Who?" Marissa thought she could already guess, just from the look on his face.

"Don't get angry. I just needed to see her. To see what she had to say."

"Why? Why couldn't you just leave it alone? Hasn't she done enough to us already?" Marissa pleaded.

"I just needed to. That's all." Ryan returned hoping that she would understand.

"And?" Marissa demanded.

"And what?"

"Was it worth it?" Marissa couldn't help but be angry with him.

"Well. In some ways I think it was. At least for me." Ryan looked her in the eyes silently pleading with her.

"What? Are you trying to tell me she had some plausible excuse why she would do that to us?"

"No." he looked at Marissa. There was no easy way out of this. "It's complicated."

"What's complicated about it. She lied. She broke us up. We've been apart for over 5 years all because of her lies. She didn't even care that I was being treated for depression because of it. It doesn't seem very complicated to me." Marissa could feel herself getting more and more upset.

Ryan could see that he was going to have to try to explain to Marissa why he had felt it necessary to talk to Julie. "Well I guess I was just worried that it was somehow my fault." Ryan tried to respond. "You know she has never approved of me. And I was worried that the whole thing had come about because of her need to get rid of me out of your life. I guess I wanted to try to plead my case that I was somehow…I don't know….maybe…worthy of you." He looked up and she could see the insecurities in his eyes.

At his words Marissa felt all the steam go out of her anger. Was Ryan really so insecure? "Worthy of me? How could you ever even think that?…. You are so much better a person than I will ever be and as for my mother…. I don't know how you could even consider giving her a chance to explain after what she has done to us."

Marissa sat and looked at him. He was now sitting on the side of the bed just looking out the window at the ocean below. She picked up one of the coffees and had a sip.

An uneasy silence ensued.

Marissa wanted to be angry with him but then she realised that Julie would just love that thought, the thought that Julie was still causing problems for them. Marissa would not let that happen. She would have to get past it and appreciate that it was just something Ryan needed to do. Just as… not… talking to Julie was something Marissa needed to do.

"So. What did she have to say?" she looked at him and he sighed, relieved. He could see that she was at least giving him a chance.

"Well let's just say that it wasn't just me. I was a part of it. But there were other things as well. I really think that you should reconsider talking to her. She owes you an apology if nothing else."

"Did you get one?" Marissa asked.

"As a matter of a fact I did." Ryan looked at her trying to gauge just how she was feeling and what would be the chances of her talking to her mother.

Marissa looked at him stunned.

"I know. I was surprised too. But I think our talk was good. I don't think she had probably even admitted to herself what her motivations were until I pushed her. I actually think she genuinely regrets what she did?"

"So what? You think we should just forgive her? And play happy families." Marissa asked.

"No. Nothing like that. I just think that maybe you should talk to her. Let her apologise and try to explain why she did it. If you still feel the same way after you've spoken with her then that's fine. You don't have to have anything more to do with her if you don't want."

"Well what were her other reasons...besides you?" Marissa asked.

"I think that's between you and her. I'd rather not get involved." Ryan looked back at her. She was deep in thought. "Just think about it. There's no hurry. Take your time. If you still decide that you don't want to talk to her then that's fine with me. I just don't want you to regret it in years to come."

"Okay. I'll think about it. But I'm not promising anything." Marissa didn't want to start her day thinking about her mother. She looked at the ring on her finger and it was as if it gave her strength. She realised that she was totally naked except for the ring. She used her thumb to wiggle the ring so that the sunlight made it sparkle. She smiled and reached for the container of whipped cream. "Now what were we about to do?" she smiled and pushed the sheet down to reveal her naked body. "Ah yes…I remember. I was going to put on my whipped cream bikini."

Ryan smiled. "I'm sorry. The slow strip will have to wait. I'm in much too much of a hurry right now." He had his clothes off in a second and joined her on the bed.