Aaaaand we are back in EC business! And its just never easy with these two lol! Enjoy! Please leave a review and let me know what you think. You guys are the best!
It had only taken a matter of hours upon his return to Snow before David found himself wishing to return to the farm and be with Regina. To be in her company, to talk with her. But he made himself wait, made himself give her the time she deserved before he made the journey to her. He wished he could just leave her there and let her live that new life uninterrupted. But he was also entirely unable to resist returning to her. It was almost as though she had been calling to him, pulling on his heart to come back to her. To come home.
So after two weeks had passed, he mounted his horse and just as before, he had arrived at the edge of the meadow three days later to Regina with the children, playing with Rocinante and one another. David stayed in the trees watching them play amongst themselves until they had dispersed throughout the small farm. The children with Rocinante to the barn and Regina in to the house, all of them laughing as they temporarily went their separate ways. He had waited until everyone was inside before he pushed his grey in to a walk and approached the small house. Then he left the horse outside as he stepped inside.
Regina's back was to him and she was humming a lovely tune as she worked over the counter, cutting something on the cutting board. It was a beautiful melody but her voice was even more so. It warmed him from the inside out, caused his heart to skip and flutter in a deep ache as he stepped closer to her. It was smooth and velvety, wrapped around him and made him feel as though he were at home there. It made him smile and he savoured the sound for he doubted it was something he was going to hear often.
But the quaint farm, the children, the simple clothes, the preparation of lunch, the humming, him returning from a journey and being happy to see her, it was all so very domestic. And as strange as it should feel, it didn't feel strange at all. It felt ordinary, it felt welcome, it felt like home. More so than it did when he went to Snow in that enormous castle. He loved it. And he hadn't been there even five minutes.
A part of him knew it was wrong to feel as such, a part knew that it was dangerous to settle in to it, but a bigger part of him and perhaps even the very biggest part of him, didn't give a damn. For this was the life he had dreamt of since before he could remember. And it was so easy to fall in to his place in it.
A beautiful wife, a working farm, a growing family. It was all he had ever wanted, it was so easy to slip in to believing it was reality. No, Regina was by no means his wife, yes the farm was a loan, and he hadn't a clue as to whose children were tending to the animals in the barn but it was all just enough to give him a generous taste of what it was like to live his dream. To have everything he had ever wanted. And Regina's beautiful voice was pulling him deeper and deeper in to the illusion that it was all real.
But he couldn't let himself humour the idea of that life any further. He had made his choice, he was married, loyal to Snow. He was only there to check in. And as much as he didn't want to break the illusion, he quietly tapped his knuckles on the heavy wooden table and Regina's beautiful humming fell silent as she turned her head over her shoulder.
And the very moment he locked eyes with her, he knew there was no hope for him. That she and this farm owned his very soul and there was nothing he was going to be able to do to change it.
She had turned with a smile, likely expecting one of the visiting children to have made the noise, and while she had to do a double take and her smile faded upon the knowledge that it was himself, it did not disappear entirely from her pink lips. She was content and that was something he had never truly been faced with when approaching her. He wanted to go to her and greet her with a proper kiss. And he almost did.
But he was married and he had to try.
"David," she greeted simply and despite herself, felt an anxious warmth flutter in her stomach. Perhaps it was the way he was smiling at her. Soft and tender. Like he had missed her and was happy to see her. No one was really ever truly happy to see her. Aside from the children. That, and she would be lying if she said that lately during his time away she hadn't mused over how nice it would be to have a man come home to her and love her at the end of the day. Not that this was her home. Nor did she have any such man. But it didn't mean she didn't yearn for it.
"You have a beautiful voice," he complimented in a tone that was far more tender than anything he had ever used toward her before. Her soft lips simply tugged in to a higher smile as she straightened her neck to focus back on the food she was preparing but he could not recall a more beautiful expression than the one he saw before she turned her face away.
"Thank you," she smiled softly as her knife sliced through an apple and hit the wood beneath it with a quiet thunk. And then the silence fell between them and Regina could feel the tension start to build in the space. The tension that came with not knowing where she stood in his life nor where, for that matter, he stood in hers. The tension that came with being utterly furious with him but also loving him dearly. But before tensions grew to an unhealthy level and before her thoughts could run too deep, she felt his fingertips trailing up her sides.
It was such a gentle touch that she had to pause to figure out what it was and once she had, she was letting out a quiet sigh through her nose and dipping and turning her head over her shoulder once more. David was right behind her, his fingertips starting at her hips and slowly moving up her waist and over her ribs and then back down again. It seemed to suck all the air from her lungs and filled her mind with things far deeper and far more true than simply lust.
She had known quite well she wasn't over him. But she had hoped she was a little further along than she apparently was, going weak in the knees at his very slightest touch. A touch that meant nothing more than an alert as to where he was as he navigated the small house to stand beside her. She had missed being touched by him.
"What are you making?" He asked as he came up beside her and let his hands slip away from her sides.
"Just cutting up some fruit for the children. A snack before they return home," she replied with a small shrug and a smile before she continued cutting and wished more than anything that she could sink in to him. And if he let her, maybe she would be sated and wouldn't claw his eyes out or stab him through the heart.
"Ah, I see," he nodded with a smile and watched her work for a little bit before he reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear. It had her pausing her work once more so she could turn her head to look at him and even though her expression was one of a deep and mutual yearning, he still managed a smile as he rubbed a thumb over her cheekbone, a gesture of affection.
"You are looking very well," he told her and she looked down a little, just enough to break eye contact, "I am glad," he nodded and she started cutting again, slowly carving the core out of the apple slices.
"I have missed you," she spoke softly and not a moment later, a rush of panic flew through her veins and made her shiver in unease. For admitting such a thing left her more vulnerable than she preferred. But it was the truth. He had made her stronger, had shown her she didn't have to be swallowed in darkness, he had taught her that she could be who she wanted to be and no longer had to be a puppet to someone else. The process had not been pretty nor had it been easy but he had stayed and he kept pushing and she knew she was still a work in progress, but she was no longer trapped.
He had given her freedom and she loved him for it. Even if she did hate him for leaving her and marrying Snow. She still loved him and she supposed she could understand his decision. Even if she didn't like it.
"I have missed you too," he assured softly and gave her a lopsided smile, one that she seemed to mirror. For they both wanted more but knew that they couldn't have it. For he was not hers and she was not his.
But he could not get over the peace that came with her presence. For so long it had been a presence of volatile anger and darkness and pain. But now it was a calm and quiet peace and it made him feel at home there with her. It felt good, it felt easy, and it made him smile as he took a deep breath and changed the subject.
"I see you have a few lambs on the property now," he noted to bring in a conversation and she smiled.
"Five," Regina confirmed with pride for she had helped each ewe with her birth all on her own, "there is even a set of twins," she noted and David laughed softly.
"Congratulations," he grinned and she laughed just as softly as he, neither one of them making any move to distance themselves from one another. "I suppose I could call you the shepherd now," he teased and her laughter dipped a little lower.
"Try it," she threatened and he laughed and grinned wide enough for his brilliant blue eyes to crease and make her smile.
"I am proud of you," he breathed softly and she hummed gently.
"Thank you," she breathed back and sincerely hoped that he understood that it was more than just a thank you for his comment. That she was so thankful to him for everything he had done. For staying with her, for yelling at her, for putting her in her place, for teaching her, for guiding her, for healing her, for being so unfathomably loyal to her despite the hell she put him through, for sending her to this farm, for everything he had done for her to get her back on her feet. It had taken them so long and she knew she still had far to go but she also could not ignore how far she had come because of him.
The stubborn shepherd. Whom she both loved and hated.
"You are welcome," he replied softly but made a point to ensure his tone carried just as much weight as hers had. He so desperately wished to kiss her and never let her go. Never had such a desire been so strong as it was then. "I am so glad you are doing well here," he told her and she smiled a little and he smiled right back.
"I am feeling better," she admitted with a timid smile and was both soothed and unsteadied when he lifted his hand once more and combed her hair behind her ear.
"God, I have missed you," he breathed as his fingertips lingered on her jaw, moving to her chin.
She was but soft clay in his rough hands, waiting and wanting to be moulded further by his touch. And has his fingers danced across her face, her lips parted ever so softly and her gaze fell to his lips. It was simply ridiculous how smitten she was with him. How deep he had burrowed himself in her heart without her notice.
"Miss Regina! Oh-!"
Abruptly pulled from their fantastical world of being able to kiss one another without consequence, David let his hand fall from Regina's face and turned to the young blonde girl frozen in the doorway. She wore a rather a startled expression but before he could greet her, Regina was already speaking to her.
"Yes, Sarah?" Regina smiled, both grateful for the interruption that kept her from making a mistake there was no turning back from and incredibly frustrated that the girl had taken away the chance of her getting just one more kiss from the shepherd.
"…There is a grey horse outside…Who is that?"
"This is David," Regina introduced with a small motion of her hand as she slowly inched away from him, carefully putting space between herself and the shepherd as she nodded toward the door, "and the horse belongs to him."
"Oh…"
"Hello, Sarah, it is nice to meet you," David greeted as he approached the little blonde, "I hear you have done excellent work in helping Regina with the animals," he improvised a compliment and the young girl beamed up at him as he crouched in front of her.
"I like to help her feed the sheep!"
"Well I don't know if there is a more important job than that!" He exclaimed with a playful exuberance and the girl grinned even wider. And it was not a moment later that the other two children skipped in to the house with grins of their own only to have them falter slightly in confusion as to who he was. A boy and a girl. The girl perhaps twelve, the boy maybe eight.
"Hailey! Sam! This is David!" Sarah introduced eagerly and David smiled as he stood, "he's Miss Regina's friend. But I think he has to be a very super good friend because they were kissing."
"O-oh…?" Hailey stuttered in surprise as she looked to David and her brother scrunched his face at him.
"We were not kissing," Regina objected immediately but her voice was not as steady and definitive as it should have been.
"Looked like you were going to," Sarah reasoned with a shrug and David shook his head.
"I was not kissing Miss Regina," David assured and the young blonde gave him a look that promised him she doubted his intentions very much. It was a look that nearly had him laughing.
"Please do explain that interesting tone, Hailey," Regina requested with a raised brow toward the older girl's confused disappointment.
"N-nothing, we just didn't know you had…someone," Hailey explained but her little sister was all too happy to elaborate.
"Daddy really likes you and wants to be your very super good friend so that he can kiss you-"
"Sarah!" Sam exclaimed and Regina's eyes widened in surprise and David put his fingers to his mouth to keep himself from laughing.
"What?! He does! He even was going to surprise Miss Regina with a picnic today!"
"Sarah, stop talking!" Sam groaned and his little sister pouted at him with her arms folded. But eventually the pin did drop and everything fell in to place in her young mind.
"Ooohh…" she drew out in revelation and both her brother and sister looked at her with wide and critical eyes.
"Your father what?" Regina pressed in shock and disbelief while David barely held himself together. And then everyone's attention was quickly snagged by the tune being whistled just outside the house. Everyone's head turned to it immediately and the man in question was seen passing the window and approaching the door.
Regina's eyes darted to David and that damn shepherd wore an expression of such wholehearted amusement, she could only scoff at him in disbelief.
"Regina!" Richard greeted as he got to the door and laid eyes on the woman, "have you a new horse?" He asked with a bright smile as his children stepped out of the way and Regina approached him with a smile.
"Richard," Regina smiled in hello and couldn't help but wonder what he had in that picnic basket in his hand that he had undoubtedly put an excessive amount of effort in to just for her.
"I was just thinking that it is such a beautiful day and that I should try and convince you to take a break and come outside and enjoy it with me over some lunch. I even brought some of that cheese you love so much," he added with a bright smile and she tilted her head and smiled back at him, "what do you think?"
She never once thought it would kill her as it did then to turn down a man's affection but there she stood feeling just so. So she took a deep breath and shook her head a little, "Richard, you are a very good and kind man and if the circumstances were different, I would happily accept your proposal for a picnic. But that horse is neither new nor mine, it belongs to David," she told him with a tip of her head toward the shepherd standing off the side, "and he is…well, he is my…shepherd..." she didn't know what else to call him.
"Oh! ...No, that is quite alright, I didn't realize you had someone," Richard forgave with an easy smile but couldn't quite hide the disappointment still lingering in his voice and then looked once more to the man smiling politely back at him.
"Well he's been away for quite some time and has only just returned this afternoon..."
"I am sorry, I didn't mean to cross a line, Regina. And to you as well, David, I do apologize."
"Don't worry, I know she doesn't talk about me too much while I'm away. She tends to get very focused in her work instead," David smiled for there really was no reason at all that he could fault the farmer.
"That she does," Richard laughed lightly and the woman gave a tense smile with a slight shake of her head. Then with a breath he nodded his head and changed the subject, "right, well I suppose then I will take these three off your hands so that you two may properly catch up," he nodded as he opened his arms and the children quietly flocked toward him.
"Thank you," Regina nodded with a smile, "you and the children are more than welcome at any time, do not forget that."
"Oh you and I both know I'll never be able to keep them out of your hair," he chuckled and the children smiled and laughed quietly, "good day, Miss Regina," he nodded and then steered his children out the door.
"Good day," she parroted and awkwardly watched them leave. Then she looked to David and he gave her a small smile, one that carried far more weight than she was ready to read in to. But she was quick to hurry out the door and called after him, "Richard!" She called and he turned with a curious smile and sent his children onward before he walked back toward her to meet her in the middle.
"Yes?"
"I just...I just wanted to say that I admire the courage it took to ask me such a thing. I know how hard it is to take that leap after losing someone you loved so dear and I do hope I have not taken that courage away from you," she told him more solemnly and the kind man smiled softly at her.
"Miss Regina," he said fondly and looked her right in the eye as he shook his head, "I appreciate that. And you must know that you have caused no such discouragement," he assured kindly, "I am sorely disappointed that I cannot take you out for a picnic, do not be mistaken," he noted and she smiled a little but it was quick to fade, "but I am not discouraged and you have not lost my company because of your answer. You are a wonderful woman, Miss Regina. And I do hope that David in there treats you as you deserve," he smiled at her and she shrugged a little with a small smile.
"He tries his best," she replied softly, "it is complicated."
"Well I hope it gets less complicated," he smiled and she hummed, "I'm sure I will see you tomorrow."
"I'm sure you will," she nodded and he tipped his head and left to follow his children. And after a moment, she turned and walked back to the house.
Once inside, she was faced with the shepherd leaning back against the kitchen table with a slight smile curving his lips.
"He is a nice guy," he stated and she nodded her head and went back to her cutting board.
"He and his children live on the next farm over. About a half hour's walk from here," she told him and continued to work on her apple, suddenly far more troubled than before, "he is widowed. His wife died nearly three years ago. Killed by a drunkard with a sword after she tried to help him."
"That is a horrible story," David frowned and Regina nodded but didn't say another word. So he allowed for a few moments of silence before he spoke up once more, "he's handsome," he noted for the man truly was. Dark brown hair, kind brown eyes, a fair amount of stubble, a good smile, a strong jaw, tall, fit, and well muscled.
"I suppose," she replied for she had noticed his looks of course, but had never thought to act on any of it at all until that afternoon. But David's line of conversation was putting her on edge and she was putting all of her focus and effort in to cutting her apple.
"If I had not returned today," David drifted off as he sat back against the edge of the table and watched the tension build in her shoulders, "would you have agreed to go on that picnic?"
"…Yes."
"Do you want to go with him?"
"You are here," was all she could reply with for she could not possibly say aloud that she wanted to spend time with him over Richard.
"Regina, I am being serious, please. I have been gone a long time and if you have started something and want to build on it then just tell me and I will let you," he pressed but she didn't say anything. Not a word. So he kept pushing but was sure to be kind about it, "he seems like a really good man, Regina. And his kids adore you."
"None of them know who I am, David," she told him and could feel the ache burn in her chest, "they think I am some woman looking after their friends' farm while they are away. They have no idea who I really am, they have no idea that I am the monster the world calls the Evil Queen."
"Regina-" he tried to argue but she spun around to face him with such distress in her expression it made him want to cry.
"I have no desire to see the looks of betrayal or hatred or disgust on their faces, David! They are good people who have gone through horrible things, I have grown to care for them and I do not want them to look at me the way everyone else does. Everyone who knows who I really am. And I have no desire to once again go through everything I did with you when I already have you here," she told him and hated how her voice had gone thick and shaky.
The silence built up between them once more, each of them daring one another to point out the one heartbreaking flaw in their relationship but neither one of them following through. But the silence could not go on forever and he did speak those little words that broke her heart.
"I am married, Regina," he reminded ever so gently and the first tears rolled down her cheek as she let out the softest and most pained little laugh before her expression fell in to a bitter heartbreak.
"There is no need to remind me of that fact, shepherd," she breathed miserably as she pushed herself away from the counter and left the house.
"Regina," David called with closed eyes but she didn't return and he didn't follow.
…
He had given her a few minutes to herself before he wandered in to the little barn across the yard and found her untacking and tending to his horse. She was always so good to his horse, always so gentle and familiar and his horse adored her. He was always happy to see the queen and as she poured a generous scoop of grain in to a bucket for him, the dappled grey gave her a nicker and the woman was helpless against the smile pulling at her lips in reply.
Then there was a whispered "here you go" and a kiss to his forehead as she swept away his forelock and gave him the bucket. David would never tire of watching her with horses.
"Regina," he called gently and only her dark eyes glanced toward him before she turned her back to him and walked across the small barn, "I do not want to fight, Regina."
"We are not fighting."
Shaking his head at her, he took a couple steps forward as she put the scoop back in the bag of grain. "You have built up a little life here, Regina. The last thing I want to do is to interfere and take away any chance you have at truly obtaining the life you want. The happiness you want."
"You are talking about Richard and the children."
Her curt tone had him taking a small breath to regain some patience before he shook his head and replied, "Regina, I am just trying to get a moment of honesty with you. I want to know if building a life with them is what you wish to do. Because if it is, I will leave and let you do so without another word. I will leave and I will not come back. I will not take you back to the Dark Palace at the end of your year, I will not keep eyes on you, I will leave you with them and let you live as you please, as free as you please. But, Regina, I need to know what you want and I need you to be honest," he told her, practically pleaded to the stubborn and prideful brunette as she kept her back turned to him.
She didn't answer right away. But she was thinking and that was such a relief to him. That she was actually weighing out her options and considering the outcomes. But her quiet reply only clawed at his heart.
"You already know what I want, David," she told him quietly and then slowly made herself turn around to face him with tears threatening to prick her eyes. The topic of her feelings for him would never not be raw.
His shoulders dropped as he looked at her and she settled with her weight against the wall and her arms folded over her chest. "Regina," he started with a shake of his head and an aching heart, "we can never…be."
"Why not?"
"Regina-"
"If you are so capable of pulling all of these strings and so ready to invest so much of your time and effort in to rehabilitating me and giving me every opportunity to have a life a would be happy in, then why, why, David, do you not offer yourself the same courtesy," she asked with a frustrated and desperate plea and he shook his head.
"I am married to Snow, Regina. I am in love with Snow."
"Are you still hoping that if you say it aloud enough times you will finally believe it," she jabbed quietly and felt a sharp shiver of unease ripple through her body. They were awfully close to a topic they only grazed in the past. Her feelings were always pressed upon. But so very rarely did they talk about his. And the stillness that came in to his body and the tightness in his jaw let her know she had hit a very raw nerve.
"I could very likely be happy with Richard," she started and her tears started to glisten in her eyes as she told the truth aloud for herself to truly hear. "If I gave myself the chance, I know I could fall in love with him. He would be so good to me. He would be so kind, he would be so tender. He has a good heart, he has a healthy and untainted mind. He knows what loss feels like and would understand the pain I carry. He would take care of me. He would love me and he wouldn't ever be afraid to show me or tell me. Life with him and his children would be perfect," she told him and her voice broke on the word as she shook her head and her first tears fell.
"But for whatever godforsaken reason, I cannot bear the thought of giving my heart to anyone but the man already holding it," she cried a pitiful and miserable laugh as she bowed her head and let her tears fall for a moment before she said the words that had needed to be said for far too long, "you have gotten too close. And now you are trying to leave as though you don't know what you have done," she shook her head and held his eye, "and that is not fair."
"I know exactly what I have done," he told her softly and she only seemed to get smaller before him, "and you are right. It is not fair. But there is nothing I can do to fix it-"
"There is."
"There isn't," he shook his head and she bowed her head with a miserable expression, "I cannot make this right. All I can do is try to make it better than what it is," he told her softly and she didn't argue but he could see her darling heart was breaking in her chest all over again.
She merely decided to leave. She walked around him without looking at him and left him standing in the barn alone with nothing more than a quiet, "you may stay in the loft."