A/N—And here we have Saturday, which starts out with yet another visit to the law office. Poor James just wants this whole thing to be over. :( Thank you for reading! This chapter cuts off abruptly but the next will continue where this one left off. And to those of you who read "It's Time We're Aware" thank you! It was a nice break from the sadness in this story.

Saturday morning brought with it light showers and gray skies. Kendall refused to take that as an omen. Instead he took the wheel of James' car and steered it to Black Forest, not wanting to make the same mistake of starting out their day without the coffee James needed.

Carlos was happy to see them, as always, and while waiting for their order James came up with the sneaky idea for him to leave his car parked at the coffeehouse and hire a driver to get him to Paul's office. "That way Logan will feel even more guilty about backing out on your date; you don't have a way home now and you'll have to wait around for hours until we're done and can drive you back."

"What if he just offers to drive me home instead?" Carlos fretted.

Kendall shrugged. "It's still time alone with him. Just not...as much."

Carlos groaned. "I really really want this to happen today. I feel like he was close last night, like that moment right before you guys came back he was starting to open himself up to the idea."

"Get that moment back," James commanded. "Get him talking about things that interest him. Like his work."

"I love hearing about his work."

"Weirdo," James chuckled. "But there you go. Oh, I love you," he said to Kendall, who was passing him a steaming latte. "You realize once we're married, I'm going to insist on you getting out of bed every morning to do this for me at home."

"Please, I'll be gone long before you wake up," Kendall teased.

"Fuck that, I'd get out of bed early for this."

"And for other things," Kendall smirked. He tugged on James' shirt to bring his head closer over the counter and whispered, "Imagine me waking you up with coffee and sex every morning."

"Jesus, are you the most perfect human being to ever walk the planet or what?"

Kendall grinned. "I'm just gonna make my mocha and we can get going."

James moved away as Carlos called out the next order. Kendall had almost finished his drink when Carlos nudged him and said quietly, "Uh oh." He followed Carlos' gaze to the front door, where Corey had been stopped by James and was looking like a deer caught in headlights. "He looks like he's about to piss himself."

"If James yells at him about the detective, I'm never making his latte again."

He picked up his mocha and started to move around the counter, but Carlos grabbed his arm. "Wait. Corey doesn't look scared now. He looks...surprised?"

He did. Kendall's heart filled with warmth. "He's apologizing. He's actually doing it. The things this man will do for me."

He waited another ten seconds to approach, squeezing James' shoulder from behind once he got there. "Hey, Corey."

"Kendall. Hey." Green eyes that were still uncertain moved between Kendall's face and James', then he nodded and said, "Well, I gotta get to work."

"See you next time," Kendall smiled. They were outside when he said, "Thank you. I know you did that for me."

"I'm trying," James admitted. "I still don't really like the guy, but...Noah would be proud of me. For being nice. I don't want him to see me as a monster so I need to start...not acting like one all the time."

"Babe, it's not all the time. You're a good person."

"I could be better," James shrugged. He allowed Kendall to kiss him before moving toward the car. "It was worth it just for that kiss." After a hearty chug of his latte, he added, "I'm ready for today. I've got my coffee and a kiss from the man of my dreams...I can face anything."

"That's great, babe, but can we face it in the car where it's warm and dry?"

"Wuss," James teased, though he did click the locks open. Once inside, he dragged Kendall in for a proper kiss. "Just to warm you up," he winked.

"That'll do it."

It was good to see James back to his old self and determined to win; Kendall worked hard to hide the anxiety he was feeling, not wanting it to spread to James. There was so much riding on this, on what they put together today. If they couldn't convince a judge James was a capable father...

Kendall shuddered just thinking about it. Not only might he never see Noah again, but James would be an empty shell of the man Kendall had fallen in love with. He stood to lose so much more than just a prospective stepson, because if they didn't win and remained a couple (which Kendall would absolutely insist on), James wouldn't be the same person.

Then again, after suffering such a blow to his confidence in law to make things right in the world, would he?

"Cold?" James asked, noting the shudder.

"A little," Kendall answered; it wasn't totally a lie.

James put the heater on before slipping his hand into Kendall's. For once, Kendall was glad James wasn't wearing the black leather gloves; the touch of James' hand was just what he needed.

"It's gonna be okay," James said softly as he drove. "Noah belongs with us, and the judge will see that."

He sounded so sure. As the rain came down heavier and blurred their surroundings, Kendall tried hard to believe it.

The first hour was spent putting together a script of questions/statements for those giving depositions. They narrowed down what were the important points to get across to a judge for maximum impact, and before they knew it Harvey was being shown into the conference room.

Somehow even rain couldn't make him look less dignified.

Logan also arrived right on time, Kendall picking up on his nerves immediately in the closed-off body language. Wondering if that was due to the deposition or the impending date with Carlos (or possibly both), he caught Logan's eye and gestured toward the door. "If you need to dry off a little, I can show you where the restroom is."

It was said in an offhand manner, but Logan got the message: Come with me. Now. "Uh...yeah. Thanks. I'll be right back," he said to James, Paul, and Tracy. Though James' eyes narrowed in suspicion, he let them go.

"You good?" Kendall asked out in the hall.

"Nervous," Logan admitted.

"About the deposition?"

"A little. I've never done this sort of thing before. I thought there would be a court reporter."

"Oh, she's here. She went to get more coffee, I think."

"Ah."

They turned into the restroom and Kendall laid a hand on Logan's shoulder. "Listen. I know you're probably second-guessing your plans with Carlos today."

Logan looked away, arms across his chest again.

"As his best friend, I'm supposed to give that whole 'Break his heart and I'll break your legs' speech. But since I'm a realist, I'll just say...if you honestly aren't interested at all, please don't give him false hope. Break the date today and just...move on. He'll get the hint."

"It's not a date," was what Logan finally said. He still wouldn't meet Kendall's eyes.

"That's what he said, too, but he wants it to be. You have to know that."

"I do," Logan sighed. "And it's what keeps tempting me to cancel. The thing is...I offered to take him because I know how much he loves the place. And I'm someone who understands why, who will let him take all the time he needs there and enjoy teaching him. But I also don't want to give him that false hope, you know? Because I'm really not interested in a relationship of any kind."

"How about friendship?"

Logan shrugged. "It's hard when I know he wants so much more."

"Look, do me a favor. Do yourself a favor. Just spend one day with him. That's it. If you want, I can talk to him and make sure he knows it's just one day and not to expect anything more from it. But hang out with him for one day and then if you really don't want to see him again, you don't have to."

"He's going to live with my best friend," Logan pointed out.

"That's not set in stone. I mean, yeah, we're moving him in tomorrow, but we might just end up moving him right back out Tuesday night."

Logan thought about that. "James isn't gonna let me out of helping him move tomorrow."

"Let me handle James. Do this for me today, and you're off the hook tomorrow. If you don't want to help us, you don't have to."

"Really?" Logan seemed skeptical. "You think you can convince James to let it go?"

Kendall smiled slowly; he was pretty sure he could convince James to do anything. "I'm not worried about it. He'll get over it. What matters most to him right now is you doing your part to help get Noah back. You do that, and he'll forgive anything else."

The apprehension was back. "What if...?"

"What?"

"What if the things I say end up hurting him instead?"

Kendall frowned, not following. "How is that even possible? You're just going to talk about the past, and how things were with Sherry and Shannon back then."

"I know, but...there's a lot of stuff I don't want to put James through again. He's left so much of that behind, mentally. Created a new life. It's not going to be easy for him to relive it all. I don't know how much he's told you, but I do know he's blocked out some of it. Especially where Shannon is concerned. Because she hurt him and...I just don't want this to tear him apart more than he already is."

Surprised by the words, as he'd never considered that Logan's reluctance to testify might be coming from the need to protect James, Kendall wasn't sure how to respond. His continued silence prompted Logan to head for the paper towel dispenser. He used some of those to absorb moisture from his hair and face.

"So your concern here is for James?" Kendall finally asked. "For his...mental and emotional health?"

"He's my best friend, Kendall. I know you two have become extremely close, but you weren't there for all of that, for the worst times in his life. Well...not that losing his son isn't horrible too, but..."

"No, I get what you're saying."

"He shut down in regards to Shannon. It was the only way he could cope with losing her when she cut him out of her life. There are..."

"What?" Kendall asked when Logan trailed off. But rather than finish the thought, Logan shook his head.

"Nothing. My point is James left all of that behind and moved on. Me bringing it up today is just going to send him back to that place. His suicidal tendencies pretty much went away when the drugs did, but there was a period after Shannon cut him out where I was worried about that. It was scary."

"I can imagine. But Logan, he's stronger now. And when he's not...I'm here. He's not alone."

"I know, I just...it's going to be hard for me to sit in the room with him and go back through it all."

"Okay, then he won't sit in there. Paul said if any of you object to his presence, you can say that."

Logan rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that's gonna go over well. It'll just piss him off."

"So what? As long as you go in and do everything you can to help him, he'll get over it. Let me worry about James, okay? You just do your part."

It was awhile before Logan spoke. "Okay. Get him out of that room and I'll talk."

"Deal. Spend a day with Carlos and I'll get you out of seeing him tomorrow."

Logan nodded. "Fine. Thank you."

"Thank you."

The restroom door suddenly flew open. "Hello, time is money, people! The longer you stand around bullshitting in here, the more I have to pay this court reporter. It doesn't take this long to pee."

Kendall laughed and reached out for James' hand. "I'm hungry. We should've picked up breakfast with our coffee."

"There are donuts in the conference room. Let's get back in there so we can get this moving."

"I need more than donuts. And Logan didn't have time for breakfast, either. Let's go get something from the bakery across the street."

James' brows drew together. "What, now? Are you seriously suggesting we walk out and go get breakfast now? What part of 'the longer we keep her waiting, the more money I have to pay' do you not get, Kendall?"

"We won't keep her waiting; Logan's gonna go do his deposition while we pick up breakfast." Kendall gently steered James out of the bathroom. "He said you'll know what he wants."

"Are you insane? I need to be there for this."

"No, babe, you don't. Trust Logan, and trust Paul. He knows what he's doing. I'm sure Carlos will be hungry, too, and the least we can do is buy them breakfast."

James spun around and looked past Kendall to find Logan, who was just entering the hall. "Is this your doing?"

"I'm hungry," Logan shrugged. "And...nervous about the Carlos thing. You know food always helps settle my nerves."

"Oh my god, Logan, he's not going to attack you. He knows it isn't a date!"

"Hey, you wanted me to give him a chance. I am. I just need food to get me through it. So..."

"It's fine," Kendall promised. "We already know what questions Paul is going to ask Logan. And we'll discuss everything after the depositions are done so that we know what we're working with. If I don't get actual food soon, I'll just get crankier. Come on, babe."

"Ugggggggh, I hate you both," James groaned. He pointed a finger at Logan. "You'd better not screw this up for me! I'm counting on you, Logan. I need you."

"I know," Logan replied, and the look in his eyes told Kendall that he did know and would do his part. "I got this."

"Fine. But I'm holding your croissant hostage until Paul tells me he got what he needs from you."

"Trust him," Kendall urged softly. "Come on." He pushed James toward the door leading outside, glad the rain had stopped momentarily so that James wouldn't insist on going back for his jacket. He glanced over his shoulder once, and Logan nodded. He would do what needed to be done.

Kendall only hoped it was enough.

Carlos arrived just as Logan was stepping out of the conference room. Kendall had convinced James to eat their breakfast in the lobby so as not to interrupt the proceedings, and they had a front-row seat to the heavy moment passing between Carlos and Logan as their eyes met. Seeing that fear come over Logan again, Kendall said a silent prayer that Logan would fight it and go through with the planned "non-date."

"Hey," Carlos said quietly.

"Hi."

The room fell silent and Kendall sensed James about to make a sarcastic remark, so he squeezed James' hand to shut him up. It worked, and the seconds stretched out.

"They're ready for you," Logan finally shared.

"Great. I shouldn't be long, Paul said it would be quick, so...unless you changed your mind about..."

Kendall and James both held their breath waiting for Logan's answer.

Which didn't come.

Dammit, Logan. You can do this.

"Hi, you must be Carlos."

Everyone looked over at Paul, who had stepped out into the lobby.

"Yeah, hi."

"You can go on in, I'm just getting more coffee. Logan, thanks again. We'll see you Tuesday, right?"

"I'll be there," Logan agreed. At least in that there was no hesitation, and Kendall felt James relax a bit.

"Here, eat your croissant that you had to have. It'll settle your stomach," James hinted.

"Thanks."

Logan took the bag, still avoiding Carlos' gaze. "Um...there are two."

"One's for Carlos," Kendall replied. "We thought you'd be hungry," he smiled. "And who knows when you'll eat again, with your big adventure planned and all."

That did the trick, Carlos' mouth widening into a grin. "I really am excited, I have to admit. So much to learn today!"

"Did you drive over?" Logan abruptly asked.

"No, I thought it would be silly since...I mean, I can catch a ride home later with these guys if..."

Logan waved a hand. "That's perfect. No rush on the deposition, we have all day at the museum. I'll just kill time eating breakfast and checking in with work."

All of Carlos' anxiety and hesitation melted away. He beamed as he said, "I'll eat while we talk, just to speed things up a little. Are we doing this or what, Paul?"

"We're doing this," Paul chuckled, not quite understanding the undercurrent running through the room, but getting enough of it to know the tension had passed. "Are you two joining us this time?"

"Hell yeah." James stood up. Before he moved toward the door, though, he dragged Logan into a tight hug. "Thank you. Without you we have no chance."

"I'm here for you," Logan nodded, then stepped away. "I just want you to be happy."

"Kendall and Noah do that for me, so..."

"Yeah."

"See you tomorrow," James reminded him, and because Logan still hadn't made up his mind on that, he said nothing.

Kendall pulled James gently toward the door leading into the back area. "Come on, babe. Let's get this done."

After Carlos, it was Jett. By the time he was done giving his testimony, all of Kendall's enmity toward him had fallen away; it was clear the man not only cared about James, but enough to admit on record that he'd screwed up out of bitter jealousy. And when Kendall mentally put himself in Jett's shoes, he realized that he would be devastated and angry at the sudden inexplicable loss of James as well—especially if there was a new man magically in James' life.

They shook hands before Jett took his leave, James walking his friend out of the office. They all used the time to refill on refreshments and run to the restroom, enjoying the stretches provided by standing and walking, and then reconvened in the conference room minus the court reporter. It was like the day before, with James and Kendall on one side, Paul and Tracy on the other.

"Okay," Paul nodded. "We've got everything we need, now we just have to lay it out to present our side of the story in a way that shows your home is the best place for Noah. Give me a minute to put it all together."

Paul used a pad to make an outline while Tracy looked on and offered a few suggestions. As they waited, James laid his head on Kendall's shoulder; the fatigue was starting to set in again. Kendall kissed his hair, wrapping an arm around him, and wondered how James would feel about a date night for themselves. Just one night away from all of this, a break from the intensely emotional situation to get their minds on something not so draining even for a few hours. He knew neither of them would be able to forget Noah completely during that time, because most likely wherever they went they'd both be thinking things like "Noah would love this dessert," but if nothing else Kendall thought they needed to reaffirm their own relationship and that it could stand on its own even if...

He didn't want to think about that.

"Thank you," James whispered, his lips then pressing briefly to Kendall's neck.

"For what?"

"Everything, I guess, but right now I'm thinking about the way you were with Jett. I know you have reason to hate him, and I'm grateful that you don't."

"Well, you grew up and apologized to Corey, so...it was the least I could do. And the truth is, I understand where Jett's head was, so..."

"How?"

"I just mean that if you did that to me, I'd probably be drunk and bitter, too."

James tilted his head back so that he could meet Kendall's gaze. "I'd never do that to you. You know that, right?"

"You'd better not," Kendall smiled, though the mere thought of it squeezed his heart with fear. "If you ever get to that point, where you feel like the magic is gone and you'd be happier with someone else—"

"Kendall, don't even joke about that."

"I'm not joking, babe. I'm serious. Should that time ever come, promise me we'll talk about it first. Before you make any decisions about us and the future. I always want us to be open with our feelings. If you're pissed at me, tell me. If I hurt you, tell me. If you just...don't love me anymore...please tell me."

Instead of the heated denial Kendall expected James to make, it was contemplative silence that answered Kendall's plea. That fear was squeezing James' heart, too. "Promise me you'll do the same. I know you'd never want to hurt me, but...tell me if your feelings change and..."

"I will," Kendall promised.

James nodded. "Okay. Me, too. I love you so much."

"I love you."

Hands clapped together, startling them both. "Okay, I think we have—" Paul cut off, frowning across the table. Without a word Tracy slid a box of tissues toward them, and they waited for Kendall and James to use them. "Everything okay?"

James sat up straighter and cleared his throat. "Yeah, just...so much happening."

"James, I feel confident about this. We have what we need to prove you're capable of raising Noah. And if there are doubts, visits from social services over time will back you up. I'm confident that the judge will at least give you a chance."

"As long as we can prove that everything she said was lies," Kendall said. "Right?"

"Well, yes, that's the hard part. But like I said before, the drug tests do half that job for us. The rest is on Logan and Jett, and both gave solid testimony."

"What exactly did Logan say?" James wanted to know.

"We'll go over everything. But here's how it's looking right now."

Paul took them through it, beginning with the process of tearing apart Sherry's attack. There were of course the drug tests, and Jett's statement that everything he'd said to the detective was false and borne of drunken jealousy. Along with that would be James' testimony under oath and in front of the judge stating that he no longer brought men home with him other than Kendall, and that he'd never brought any other man around Noah outside of Carlos and Logan.

"At that point we'll offer to keep Kendall away as well, if the judge sees fit."

James' eyes fell closed as a tortured sigh left him. Kendall took the hand that was already reaching for his, and once James was ready, he nodded for Paul to go on.

"Wait," Kendall interrupted. "Would it be better if I wasn't even there? In the courtroom?"

"Are you insane?" James spat. "I can't go through that without you!"

"Babe, if it helps—"

"It should be fine," Paul stated, silencing them both. "We're making no secret of the fact that James is in a committed, monogamous relationship with you, and in that case you'd want to be there for him. It actually shows that you care, for both him and Noah."

"The judge probably won't even know he's there," James pointed out. "He doesn't know what you look like."

"He does," Tracy disagreed. "He's got pictures, remember?"

"Oh. Right." James sighed again. "But Paul said it's fine, so you're not going anywhere. I refuse to even think about keeping you away unless I have to."

"Okay," Kendall nodded, his hand numb from the way James was squeezing it; he didn't mind. "I'll be there."

"Damn right you will." With a toss of his head, James returned his focus to Paul. "So what's next? We offer to...that thing I won't think about, and then what?"

"Then we set about showing that you are capable of raising Noah, and why she's not. Harvey's testimony about the safety of The Pembroke will help that, and we'll lay out your plan regarding Carlos moving in as the caretaker. We won't mention anything about Kendall's plans to move in, but obviously if social service visits become mandatory, he isn't going to anyway. We also offer the changes you're willing to make in your own life. Before you leave today we'll get all of that from you in writing, but I'm referring to the job change and state-licensed childcare, and of course Carlos not moving in if that would be better for Noah in the eyes of the court. Bottom line, you'll do whatever it takes to gain custody of Noah, and we'll make that clear."

"Yes," James agreed. "I will do anything."

"As long as the judge believes that, we're good."

Kendall bit his lip, hesitant to speak something that had been on his mind for days. "If that's enough...do we really need to attack Sherry?"

James shifted sideways in his chair in outrage. "What? What are you even talking about? Of course we really need to! It's the only way we're going to win!"

"Is it, though? Paul just said as long as a judge believes everything we've come up with so far, we should be good."

"Should be," James echoed. "Should be. That's not enough. I won't take chances, not with this. What the hell is your problem?"

Kendall kept waiting for Paul to step in, but he didn't; he merely watched them with the wheels turning in his head, obviously waiting to see where Kendall was going with this. "My problem," Kendall finally said, "is that...I think Noah does love his grandmother. And even if he doesn't, she loves him."

"She's a monster!" James yelled. "Do I need to remind you that she accused me of molesting my own son? That she...she made it sound like you were, too? Did you forget all of that, Kendall?!"

"No, of course not. I despise the woman."

"Then what's the issue? Why are you suddenly concerned with her feelings?"

"It's not hers I'm concerned with. It's Noah's. When I talked to him about her the first couple of days, there was no hatred there. There was fear, but no hatred. She may be a monster, but she's still his grandmother, James. She's still a link to his mother. And it's clear he loves Pete. You heard him on the phone yesterday, he wasn't suffering over there." When James looked as if he was about to blow up, Kendall cut him off with, "I'm just saying that I think tearing his grandmother apart so much that a judge believes she's a monster is only a last resort. If we do that, we're as bad as she is."

"But everything we're saying is true, Kendall! That's the difference here. She made up lies. I'm not making up shit. She made my own son believe I'm evil, that I don't love him, and that I never wanted him. Tell me how I'm supposed to be okay with that. With her continuing to put those ideas in his head."

"She won't. Paul said we'd offer visitation for her, as long as it's supervised. But I'm just thinking about how much Noah loves to watch baseball with his grandpa. About how much he loves her apple pie. And even you admitted you understand why she's doing all of this. She loves him, James. She's as afraid to lose him as you are."

"So what? He's my son. I lost five years of his life because of her. Five years of Shannon's life. Nothing you say will ever convince me that she deserves his love, Kendall." James rubbed a hand over his forehead, and when he spoke again it was in a less heated voice. "I don't get it, babe. I thought we were on the same page here. Why are you suddenly on her side?"

"I'm not, I swear. I want Noah back home with you just as badly as you do."

"Then where is your head?"

"It's..." Kendall shrugged, wishing they weren't having this discussion with an audience. "Look, I remember what it's like to go through all of this. The custody battle. My dad left, but he did try to get custody of me and Katie at first. And it was a nightmare. I watched them rip each other apart and use us against each other and the things they said about each other...I just don't want Noah to go through that. He loves his grandparents, and I think he's afraid to tell you that because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings."

"But Kendall..." James sighed, wondering how to combat that. "Noah won't even be in the courtroom. And he said himself he'd rather live with us."

"I know, I'm not saying I don't want you to have custody. I just don't want a judge to hate her so much that he can never visit them. Grandparents are important for a kid to have."

"Well...I have a mom. She's willing to try. And your mom will love him, you said that."

"I know, babe, but my mom isn't his true grandparent. He needs that link to his mother, because I guarantee that kid is holding in a ton of feelings about her death. We've barely scratched the surface of that. And I think he's so afraid to hurt you or chase you away that he's afraid to talk about it." James said nothing to that. "Bottom line, this is your case. He's your son. You do what you need to in order to get him back. But if you can do that without sinking to her level, I think you should."

James' bottom lip trembled. "I'm afraid that if we don't make her a monster, she has a chance of winning him back later. Because she's not going to be satisfied with this. She's just gonna keep attacking me and trying to win him back. We need to make sure that doesn't happen."

"James?" Paul tried softly, as if afraid to interrupt. "Would you be open to offering one weekend a month?"

James blinked rapidly, mind still on his fear of losing Noah. "For what?"

"For a visit. Noah spending one weekend a month at his grandparents' house. You drop him off Friday night and pick him up Sunday evening."

"So she can put more ideas in his head? No, thank you."

"Babe, two days a month isn't going to be enough for her to damage him," Kendall pointed out. "And Pete will be there."

"Like that made a difference over the past five years?"

"I think Pete's changed. He's going behind her back to sneak phone calls in. I know he won't testify against her in court, but he's at least willing to defy her in secret. It's a start."

James shook his head against Kendall's words. "It's not enough. But Paul...do you think that would make me look better? If I offer that?"

"Honestly? Yes. It goes back to you being the rational one while she's unwilling to compromise. Kendall's right, this is your case and your money so I'll use whatever strategy you tell me to. But your full compliance with everything the court recommends is what's going to win you this case."

"Can I have a minute to think?"

"Sure."

Paul pushed his chair back and started to stand, but James shook his head. "No, I'll leave. I just need a few minutes." When Kendall also rose, James glanced back with an expression that told him to stay. For once, James needed to make a decision without Kendall and while it hurt, Kendall understood; he just prayed he hadn't ruined their relationship by suggesting they go easy on Sherry.