"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust."
Lexie stared into the distance as the minister spoke. The words came to her slowly. The world around her had blurred into mourning. How did she get to this place? Why was she standing in the middle of a graveyard? Where was her mother? She felt the tears perched behind her eyelids. She didn't want to cry anymore. And then, suddenly, the minister's words stopped. The silence was all around. Lexie looked up. She watched as, one by one, all these people she knew picked up handfuls of dirt and let it run through their fingers, back into the ground.
One by one, everyone left. But she stayed. She stood there until the sun had moved across the sky and the light had turned pale and golden. And finally, as the sun was giving way to the stars, Lexie turned from the grave and walked back to her car.
As she drove home, the moon poured its light through her windshield. She realized that no matter what, the sun and the moon would always rise. It was a comforting thought. Some things she could count on. Maybe everything would be okay.
xxx
"I feel bad," Meredith said as they walked back into the house.
"She'll be fine," Derek replied.
"We just left her standing there," Meredith said.
"I think she wanted to be alone," George chimed in as he walked through the door.
"Dude, she was totally zoned out," Alex said.
Meredith turned back to Derek. "You really think she's okay?"
"Yes," Derek, wrapping his arms around her waist.
Meredith sighed and leaned her head on his chest. "Do you have a shift?" she asked.
"Not until tomorrow morning," Derek said, resting his chin on her head.
"Good," Meredith said, pulling back and kissing him softly. "Me neither."
Derek looked at her for a moment, a slight smile on her lips. A shiver ran through her as she stared into his eyes. She moved closer to him and rested her head on his chest. "I want to show you something," Derek said softly.
Meredith looked up at him. "What?"
He smiled. "It's a surprise."
Meredith laughed. "A surprise?"
He nodded. He took her hand in his and led her outside. "Where are we going?" Meredith asked.
He grinned. "You'll see."
xxx
Derek stopped the car at the bottom of a dirt road and turned to Meredith who was eyeing him skeptically. "What are we doing?" she said.
Derek leaned over and kissed her softly. "How many times do I have to tell you," he told her, "it's a surprise."
Meredith smiled and kissed him again. "Fine."
They both got out of the car and began to walk up the road, hand in hand. Meredith looked all around her as they walked. Tall, broad trees surrounded them, reaching up to the sky. Meredith had never really been an outdoorsy girl, but on those nights that she had spent in Derek's trailer, she had come to appreciate the sounds of nature. The birds, the wind, even the cricket's with their high-pitched symphonies. "It's beautiful," she said softly.
Derek squeezed her hand. "I'm glad you think so."
Meredith eyed him out of the corner of her eye, but didn't ask questions. She would let him have his little surprise.
They walked around a slight bend in the road and suddenly came to a large overlook. From where they stood, they could see the skyline of Seattle. Meredith realized that they were facing west and at that moment, the sun was beginning to dip below the horizon, leaving a flood of colors in its wake. "Do you like it?" Derek asked.
Meredith smiled. "I love it," she replied.
"Good," Derek said, "because this is where the house is going to go."
Meredith stared at him. "The house?" she asked.
"Our house," Derek said, reaching out and pulling her close to him.
"Our house?" Meredith whispered breathlessly.
"Mmmhmm," Derek said, gazing at her.
Meredith felt tears fill her eyes. "I love you so much," she said, her voice wobbly.
"I love you too," Derek said as he lowered his lips onto hers and kissed her tenderly. She sighed softly into his lips and placed her hands on his chest. After a moment, they pulled apart slightly and turned to the horizon. The sun was almost gone and together they watched as the stars took its place.
xxx
Later that night, Meredith and Derek lay in bed together. Meredith was on her back and Derek was on his side, stroking her stomach softly. "I can't believe we're going to have a house," Meredith said softly.
"You didn't think we'd live here forever did you?" Derek asked.
"No," Meredith said. "Well, maybe."
Derek leaned down and kissed her gently. "Are you happy?"
Meredith smiled. "Yes. Very." She looked around their room. It used to be her mother's room. She wondered if buildings could hold memories. She shook her head slightly. God, I hope it doesn't remember everything, she thought. She turned back to Derek. "I'll miss this place, though."
Derek smiled down at her. "I know."
Meredith turned on her side and moved closer to him, pressing a kiss to his lips. He moved his hand from her stomach and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her on top of him. "I love you," he whispered into her ear.
"I love you."
xxx
When Derek woke up the next morning, Meredith wasn't in bed. He immediately got up and went downstairs. He found her standing on the porch, staring at something in the distance, her arms folded across her chest. He went out on the porch and walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her stomach and pressing a kiss to her neck. "You okay?" he said into her hair.
"Yeah," she said. She paused, her brow furrowed. "I had the strangest dream last night."
Derek held her tighter. "What happened?"
Meredith was silent for a moment. "You had a surprise for me and you drove me to that same road we went yesterday. We walked up the path, just like yesterday, but when we got to the bend in the road you made me cover my eyes and you led me around the curve to the outlook. I opened my eyes and sitting right in front of me was this beautiful doll house. But for some reason, I was disappointed. I turned to you and said, 'I don't like it'. And then I woke up."
Derek was quiet. She turned in his arms and looked up at him. "What are you thinking?" she asked. he dropped his eyes to the ground. "What?" Meredith asked, confused.
"It's just...I can't help but think..." Derek shook his head slightly. "Are you scared?"
Meredith shook her head slightly. "What do you mean?"
"I mean about the house."
Suddenly, Meredith understood. "Oh, Derek," she said quickly. "No, I'm not scared at all. I wasn't scared in the dream."
"You were disappointed." Derek studied her face, his eyes were sad.
"Derek," Meredith said earnestly. "I'm not scared. I won't be disappointed." She smiled slightly. It was strange to be the one reassuring him. "I want to live forever with you in a house that we built together."
Derek nodded and smiled. He leaned forward and kissed her softly. "Okay," he said, holding her tight. After a while, he pulled back and studied her face. "Then what do you think the dream means?"
Meredith shook her head. "I don't know."
xxx
"So, McDreamy gave you a doll house?" Christina asked, a certain amount of amusement in her voice. meredith had just told Christina her dream.
"Yup," Meredith answered.
"And you didn't like it."
"Yup."
"Hey, I wouldn't either. It's totally patronizing."
Meredith laughed. "What do you think it means?"
Christina made a face. "I don't know. Psychiatry is for weaklings."
Meredith glared at her. "Shut up."
Christina smirked. "Fine." She began to walk away. "Good luck with your subconscious!" she called behind her.
xxx
That evening, Meredith was sitting in the living room, watching TV, waiting for Derek to come home when a memory popped into her head.
"Meredith," her dad said one morning, "I have a surprise for you."
Meredith jumped off the her stool and ran over to him. "Is it a pony?"
Thatch laughed and picked the little girl up in his arms. "Not this time," he said, grinning down at her.
Meredith furrowed her brow in concentration. "Well then what?"
Thatch laughed and put her back down. Meredith held his hand as he led her upstairs. He led her to the attic door and Meredith's eyes widened in wonder. The attic had a strange mysteriousness to it. Thatch opened the door and they walked up into the attic.
"Now close your eyes," her dad said softly. Meredith did as she was told. She heard as Thatch swept a blanket off of something. "Okay," he said.
Meredith opened her eyes. In front of her stood a huge, beautiful dollhouse. Every detail had been painstakingly constructed. Everything was perfect. Everything was in place. But Meredith wasn't happy. She had stopped playing with dolls at least a year ago. How could he not know that? How?
She frowned and turned to her dad. "I don't like it," she said defiantly.
Thatch's face fell. He looked from the dollhouse to Meredith's somber, eight-year-old face. He nodded wearily. "Okay," he said. "That's fine." He took the blanket and threw it back over the dollhouse.
Under that blanket, both he and Meredith could pretend it was never there.
Meredith felt a guilt deep within her as she let the past wash over her. Why had she done that to her father? Why? She could've at least pretended to be happy. But she also suspected that her anger didn't come from just the dollhouse. It came from the fact that her father didn't know her. He didn't know what she liked. He had made the wrong thing.
At least now she knew what her dream was about. Derek's surprise had wrenched this forgotten memory from her subconscious. And now, comparing the two surprises, it made Derek's that much sweeter. Because he knew what she wanted. He knew what she liked. He loved her and cared about her in a way that no one ever had before.
Just then, the front door opened and Derek walked inside. Meredith got up from the couch and ran over to him, burying her face in his chest. Derek wrapped his arms around instinctively and hugged her close. "You okay?" he asked softly.
Meredith nodded into his shirt. "Yeah," she said. She looked up at him. "I'm fine."
"Then why are you crying?" Derek asked, reaching up and brushing a few strands of hair out her face.
Meredith shook her head. "I know what my dream means," she said.
Derek nodded. "What does it mean?"
"I'll tell you later," she said. "It's a long story. But it begins when a guy and a girl meet in a bar."
Derek leaned down and kissed her. "I think I know this one."