Chapter 36: Innocence

Buffy slowly wakes up. She takes a moment to remember where she is and what has happened, then she turns to look at Angel.

He's gone.

Buffy peers into the darkness of the room, pulling the blanket up as she sits. "Angel?"

There is no answer. She sits, a bit thrown. There is a flash of lightning.

The next morning Buffy enters through the kitchen, tentatively. Her clothes are no longer wet but she is decidedly rumpled. She listens for a moment for any of her cousins. Coast is clear.

Buffy moves through the dining room and starts up the stairs. She's halfway up when Prue enters from the living room. "Good morning."

Buffy instantly turns around and starts coming back down. "Good morning..."

Prue frowns, "You and Angel were going on a simple recon. What happened?"

"The Judge assembled," Buffy says. "The noticed us. We tried to escape but were caught before I could flame us out. Due to Angel's quick thinking we were able to exit through a hole into the sewers and made our way to his apartment. It was raining and the sewers were running pretty good. On top of that when we got to his apartment I was drenched and cold. He gave me some clothes and told me to change and then tucked me into bed to get warm. I must fell asleep. He was gone when I woke up, probably to do some more recon."

"At least your alright," Prue says. "You had us worried when you didn't come home. Go take a shower I'll drive you to school."

"Thanks." Buffy says as she and Prue heads up the stairs.

"I'll go let Piper and Phoebe know your okay," Prue says as she continues past Buffy on up to the attic.

30 minutes later Buffy and Prue walk into the library.

"Buffy!" Willow says.

"We were just going to rescue you," Xander says.

Willow nods, "Well, some of us were..."

"I would have..." Giles says.

"Where's Angel?" Ms Calendar asks.

Prue frowns, "He hasn't check in with you guys?"

Giles shakes his head, "No..."

"What happened?" Cordelia asks.

Giles nods, "Is the Judge...?"

Buffy nods, "No assembly required. He's active."

"Damnit," Giles says.

Buffy sighs, "He nearly killed us. Angel got us out."

"Why didn't you call? We thought..." Giles says.

Prue nods, "I've talked to her on her reasons why she didn't call. And they were good reasons. I'm not going to have her go into it again."

"So nobody's heard from him?" Buffy asks.

Willow shakes her head, "No..."

Ms. Calendar shakes her head, "He didn't say where he was going?"

Buffy looks to Prue, "No, we just... we just split up."

Prue nods in understanding. She would talk to Buffy later about why didn't get the entire story.

"I'm sure he'll come by," Willow says.

Buffy isn't convinced, "You're right. I'm sure."

Giles nods, "Buffy, Prue, the Judge. We have to stop him."

"We know," Prue says.

Giles nods, "What can you tell us?"

"Not much. I just touched him - kicked him - and it was like a sudden fever. If he'd gotten his hands on me -" Buffy says.

Prue looks down and nods, Buffy might have died for real this time.

"In time he won't have to. The stronger he gets... he'll be able to burn us all with a look," Giles says.

"Also not the prettiest man in town," Buffy says.

"I'll just have to keep researching, look for a weakness. You all should get to your classes," Giles says. "Prue a moment."

The kids start out.

"I better go too. I'll go on the net and search for anything on the Judge." Ms. Calendar says.

Giles nods, "Thank you."

"We'll stop in after classes, help you research." Xander says.

"Yeah, you might find something useful - if it's in an I-Can-Read book." Cordelia says as she strides out. He follows, all a-huff. Willow and Buffy bring up the rear.

Giles looks to Prue, "I don't mean to pry, but what did she tell you?"

"After Angel got them out down into the sewers they made their way to his apartment. It was raining and Buffy was drenched and cold. She said Angel gave her some clothes to sleep in and put her in his bed to warm her up. She fell asleep and when she woke he was gone." Prue says. She didn't mention the fact that she was pretty sure that Buffy had slept with Angel. She didn't want to air her cousin's sex life to anyone. But she would be talking about to Buffy later.

In the Hall Buffy's pensive. Willow looks at her, asks, "You don't think Angel would have gone after the Judge himself, do you?"

Buffy shakes her head, "No... he'd know better than that. Maybe he needed to... I don't know. I just wish he'd contact me. I need to talk to him."

Ms. Calendar watches the girls walk off, concerned herself.

Later in one of her afternoon classes Buffy sits as a teacher drones on about history. Buffy looks out the window, looks at her hands, at the clock. Her mind clearly not on her studies. "So, can somebody tell me some of the differences between the Bolsheviks and the Mensheviks? What really separated them? Anyone?"

The teacher looks to Buffy, who stares back for a moment. Buffy rises and walks out of the class. "Miss Halliwell, I'm sorry, did you have somewhere important to be?"

Buffy doesn't hear. She's gone.

Buffy comes down the steps and knocks on Angel's door. Nothing. She opens it and enters. She walks tentatively in, looking about her. "Angel?" She's alone.

Buffy flames out and back to the Manor, "Anyone here?"

Prue walks down the stairs from the attic, "Buffy?"

"Angel wasn't his apartment. Please help me find him?" Buffy asks.

Prue looks at Buffy and nods as she remember Andy, "Of course. But Buffy before we go. Care to explain why you didn't give me the whole story this morning."

Buffy sighs, "You mean about…"

Prue nods, "Yes I mean… You don't think that's why he left?"

Buffy shakes her head, "No I don't. I'm sure that's not why."

"Okay I just wanted to make sure. Also while you are still underage. I'm not going to admonish you for having a sex life. I wasn't a virgin at 17 either." Prue says. "I'll go let Piper and Phoebe know I'm leaving. Then we'll go find Angel."

That night Buffy and Prue return to Angel's apartment.

"I'll stay out here, in case he's in there. Give you two a moment of privacy," Prue says.

Buffy nods, "Thanks Prue." She enters the apartment and goes to the bed. Angel steps up behind her. "Angel!"

"Hey." Angel says.

Buffy goes up to him, embraces him. "Oh, God, I was so worried..."

"Didn't mean to frighten you..." Angel says.

"Where did you go?" Buffy asks.

"Been around." Angel says.

Buffy nods, "I was freaking out. You just disappeared. I had Prue driving me around town checking everywhere we thought you might be."

Angel breaks away, gets his shirt off the bed. "What, I took off."

"Well, you didn't even say anything. You just left." Buffy says.

Angel nods, "Yeah, like I really wanted to stick around after that."

Buffy frowns, "After... What do you..."

Angel shakes his head, "You got a lot to learn about men, kiddo. Although I guess you proved that last night."

"What are you saying?" Buffy asks.

Angel smiles, "Let's not make an issue out of it. In fact let's not talk about it at all. It happened."

"I don't' understand. Was I... was it... not good?" Buffy asks, she can barely get this question out - so it's like a kidney- punch that he starts to laugh.

"No, you were great! Really. I thought you were a pro," Angel says.

Buffy frowns, "Goddess, Angel, how can you say those things to me?"

"Lighten up. It was a good time. Doesn't mean we have to make a big deal," Angel says.

"It is a big deal!" Buffy says.

Angel shrugs, "It's what? Fireworks. Bells ringing. A dulcet choir of pretty little birdies. Come on, Buffy, it's not like I've never been there before." He puts a friendly hand on her shoulder.

Buffy jerks away, "Get away from me."

"I should have known you wouldn't be able to handle it," Angel says as he starts to leave.

Buffy turns, a world of hurt in her eyes. "Angel... I love you."

Angel winks at her, "Love ya too." He turns to go. "I'll call ya." He walks out the door.

Buffy is unable to move.

Outside Prue watches Angel come out. "Angel?"

"Hey, Prue. I tried to let her down easy." Angel says and walks on past her with out another word.

Prue turns and enters Angel's apartment. "Buffy?"

Buffy turns to Prue, tears in her eyes as she collapses into Prue's embrace.

An hour later in the school lounge Angel is talking to Ms. Calendar. He has Willow by the neck.

"I've got a message for Buffy." Angel says.

"Then give it to me yourself." Buffy says as she and Prue comes out of the darkness.

Angel spins to see her. She is trying to be strong, but she is shaking. "Well, it's not really the kind of message you tell. It sort of involves finding the bodies of all your friends."

"This can't be you..." Buffy says.

Prue has to agree Angel has never been this cruel.

"We already covered that subject," Angel says.

Xander, who is now behind Angel, takes the cross from Jenny and starts moving slowly toward Angel.

"Angel... there must be some part of you inside that remembers who you are," Buffy says.

Angel shakes his head, "Dream on, schoolgirl. Your boyfriend is dead. You're all gonna join him."

Buffy nods, "Just leave Willow alone. Deal with me."

Angel smiles, "But she's so cute and helpless. It's really a turn on -"

Xander reaches around and shoves the cross in Angel's face.

Angel roars, lets go of Willow. He knocks Xander to the ground - Buffy comes forward - Angel leaps at Buffy, grabs her. She is too wigged to do much more than stare at him. "Things are about to get very interesting."

"Buffy!" Prue says.

Angel kisses Buffy, hard - she tries to move her head away - then he tosses her to the ground like a rag doll and takes off, the double door swinging shut behind him.

Buffy is still semi-prone on the ground as the others come up to her.

"Buffy, are you okay?" Xander asks.

"Buffy?" Willow asks.

Buffy just stares at the doors he exited by. She can't even speak.

Prue walks over to Buffy and sighs as she pulls her cousin to her feet, "Everyone step back. Give her some air."

Ten minutes later in the library. Everyone is gathered in the library, in various stages of freakingdom.

"And we're absolutely certain that Angel has reverted to his former self?" Giles says.

Xander nods, "We're certain. Anybody not feeling certain here?"

Willow nods, "Giles, it was just - you wouldn't have believed him. He was so... He came here to kill us!"

"It's true Giles," Prue says from her place next to Buffy where she is trying to comfort her cousin.

"What are we gonna do?" Cordelia asks.

"I'm leaning toward blind panic, myself," Giles says.

"Rupert, don't talk like that. The kids," Ms. Calendar says.

Giles frowns, "I'm sorry. It's just, things are bad enough with the Judge here. Angel crossing to the other side... I just wasn't prepared to deal with that."

"None of us was," Prue says.

Willow approaches Buffy and Prue, "Are you okay?" Buffy shakes her head. "Is there anything I can do?"

"I should have known. I saw him... at home and he was... different. The things he said..." Buffy says.

"What things?" Giles asks.

Prue looks up, "It's private."

Ms. Calendar frowns, "But you didn't know he had turned bad."

"How did you?" Willow asks.

"What?" Ms. Calendar asks.

"You knew. You told me to get away from him." Willow says.

Ms. Calendar nods, "Well, I saw his face."

"If we only knew how it happened..." Giles says.

"What do you mean?" Prue asks.

Giles nods, "Well, something set it off. Some event must have triggered his transformation." Prue and Buffy look at each other. Their sure of what the trigger is, but neither of them speak up. "If anyone would know, Buffy, it should be you."

"I don't... I ..." Buffy says.

"Did anything happen last night that might -" Giles asks.

"What part of private don't you understand," Prue says.

Buffy stands and starts out, distraught. Willow has her eyes locked on Buffy, realization sinking in.

"Prue, I'm sorry but we can't afford to... Buffy!" Giles says.

"Giles, shut up." Willow says it levelly, eyes still on the departing figure of Buffy.

Prue moves after her cousin joining her in the hall the two of them walk down it in silence. She puts her arm around Buffy holding her close as they walk. "Why don't you flame us back to the Manor."

Buffy looks at Prue and then nods. They flame out, and to her room in the Manor.

Buffy stares blankly, trying to hold herself together. She goes to the dresser.

Prue watches her making sure she will be alright.

Hanging over mirror is the cross Angel gave her the year before. She looks at it, then at herself in the mirror. Beginning to tremble, she looks at her hand and the claddagh ring. She pulls it off abruptly, letting it drop to the floor as the last vestige of her resolve crumbles. She cries.

Buffy moves blindly to the bed, sitting. Lying, curled up, unable to stop the tears.

Prue looks to Buffy and then climbs on the bed behind her and reaches across and holds Buffy's hand trying to comfort her. Buffy eventually falls asleep.

Buffy and Angel are together in his apartment - her hand on his back, his face in her neck, her eyes opening.

"I love you..." Angel says just before he roars and disappears.

Buffy stands at Angel's grave a moment later. Behind her and to the right stands a woman in black with a veil. Buffy looks behind her as the woman lifts the veil - to reveal Ms. Calendar, who looks straight ahead, ignoring her.

Buffy turns back and Angel is standing, in broad daylight, by his grave.

"You have to know what to see," Angel says serenely.

Buffy looks behind her again, but Ms. Calendar is gone.

Buffy awakens, still in her clothes. Steely purpose in her eyes. She gets up and exits into the hall, "Prue, Piper, Phoebe."

Later Buffy, Prue, Piper, and Phoebe strides through the mass of students. Buffy is paying no attention to anything around her.

They walk in to the computer classroom Giles and Ms. Calendar look up as Buffy crosses the room to them. She never breaks stride. It's one swift motion from walking to taking Ms. Calendar by the neck and slamming her down onto the desk.

"Buffy!" Giles says and he tries to grab her to find he's being telekinetically held back by Prue.

"What do you know?" Buffy says.

Ms. Calendar is wide eyed - Buffy is choking her, a murderer's calm in her eyes.

"Buffy, stop it!" Giles says.

Buffy lets Ms. Calendar up, who gasps for breath.

BUFFY

Did you do it? Did you change him?

"For God's sake, calm down!" Giles says.

The sisters stride up next to Buffy. "Did you know what was gonna happen?" Prue asks.

"Buffy, Prue, you can't just go accusing everyone around you of -" Giles says.

"I didn't know exactly." Ms. Calendar says. Giles stops, stares at Ms. Calendar. She cannot even look at any of them as she continues. "I was told... I was sent here to watch you. When they told me to keep you and Angel apart, they never told me what would happen."

Giles frowns, "Jenny..."

Ms. Calendar sighs, "I'm sorry, Rupert. Angel was supposed to pay for what he did to my people."

"And me?" Buffy asks. What was I supposed to be paying for?"

"I didn't know what would happen until after. I swear, I would have told you..." Ms. Calendar says.

"So it was her. She did it." Prue says.

Ms. Calendar nods, "I think so. I mean, if you..."

Giles frowns, "I don't understand."

"The curse. If Angel achieved true happiness, just a moment of... he would lose his soul." Ms. Calendar says.

"But how do you know that you were responsible... Oh." Giles says.

Prue nods, "Now you understand why I said it was private. You don't have a right to know about Buffy's sex life. I don't care if you're her Watcher or not. Somethings should be private."

"If I could do anything -" Ms. Calendar says.

"Curse him again. Can't you do that?" Buffy asks.

Ms. Calendar shakes her head, "Those majicks are long lost, even to my people."

Phoebe looks to Ms. Calendar, "But you did it once, it may not be too late to save him..."

"It can't be done. I can't help you." Ms. Calendary says.

Buffy nods, "Then take us to someone who can."

Some time later Buffy, Giles, Prue, Piper, Phoebe and Ms. Calendar enter her uncle's room. They stop, Jenny putting her hand over her mouth.

Buffy looks down at the body - then her eyes drift over to the wall.

On the wall is written in blood: WAS IT GOOD FOR YOU TOO?

"God..." Ms. Calendar says.

Giles nods, "Buffy, he's doing this deliberately. He's trying to make it harder for you."

Prue nods, "I have to agree with Giles. He's torturing you mentally."

"He's just making it easier. I know what I have to do." Buffy says.

"What?" Prue, Piper and Phoebe ask.

Buffy looks at her cousins, summoning her resolve. "Kill him."

Later in Giles Office Xander and Oz set an oblong wooden crate down on the desk. Buffy comes up to it as Giles starts to open it with a crowbar. Prue, Piper and Phoebe stand behind Buffy watching.

"Happy Birthday, Buffy. Hope you like the color," Xander says.

Buffy nods, "Giles, Prue, we'll hit the factory first but we may not find them. If they're on the offensive we need to figure out where they'll go."

Giles nods, "Agreed."

Prue looks to Phoebe, "Up for trying to scry for him again?"

"Yeah, for what he's doing to Buffy." Phoebe says. "More than ready."

Giles pries open the box. Ms. Calendar comes into the office tentatively.

"This is good." Buffy says.

Ms. Calendar looks between the sisters and Buffy, "Do you... is there something I can do to –"

"Get out." Prue and Buffy says.

"I just want to help." Ms. Calendar says.

Buffy looks pleadingly at Giles and Prue.

There's no joy, nor anger in Giles reply. Just a decision. "She said get out."

Prue nods in agreement.

Slowly, Jenny leaves.

Xander turns to Buffy. "Do you want me to show you how to use it?"

"Yes I do," Buffy says. "Prue."

"Already on it," Prue says. "Phoebe's scrying for him as we speak."

In the main room Phoebe stands over a map of San Francisco. She has Buffy's claddagh ring in hand and is scrying. Suddenly the crystal drops, "Got him!"

Later at the mall Buffy and the gang walk in the entrance, full of purpose. Xander and Giles still carry the box by its rope handles.

"Everybody keeps back. Damage control only. Take out any lesser vamps if you can. I'll handle the smurf." Buffy says. She looks to Prue, "It's going to be crowded no powers. As it is we already got exposure from the demons. We don't want to expose our powers also. Just help them get the innocents out."

Prue nods, "Okay."

A moment later an arrow whips into the Judge's chest. He stumbles back, his power cut off.

The Judge pulls the arrow out of his chest, quietly seething. "Who dares...?"

Buffy is standing on top of the popcorn machine, holding her crossbow. "I think I got his attention..."

The Judge sees her, takes a step forward, throwing down the arrow. "You are a fool. No weapon forged can stop me."

Buffy drops the crossbow, "That was then." She hoists the rocket launcher Xander has procured for her. "This is now."

Drusilla sees the rocket launcher, starts to dive out of the way as Angel does the same.

Buffy flicks a switch and sights up the Judge.

The Judge looks at the thing in confusion and just a touch of worry. "What's that do?"

Buffy fires and the rocket streaks across the hall, high above the heads of the bystanders - straight toward the Judge and impacts with a shuddering blast.

Drusilla gets pelted with debris. She looks back at the Judge. Or rather, the place he was. It's smoke, rubble, and small fires.

Drusilla, whimpering, bails, her henchvamps following.

The gang come out from behind the concession stand as Buffy climbs down, tossing the launcher to Xander.

"My best present ever," Buffy says.

Xander smiles, "Knew you'd like it."

"Do you think he's dead?" Willow asks.

Buffy is looking around her, her guard still up. "You guys pick up the pieces. Keep 'em separate."

They move to comply.

"Pieces? We're getting pieces? Our job sucks!" Cordelia says.

Buffy is still looking about - and then she spots him, off to the right. Angel slips around a corner, past panicking civilians.

"Prue." Buffy says. And they take off after Angel as the rising smoke sets off the sprinklers

Buffy and Prue makes their way quickly but cautiously along, water cascading down everywhere.

They turn a corner, looking around them. This cul de sac has a pastry and coffee counter, not much else. Everything being soaked by the sprinklers.

Buffy stops, listening. She spins - and a fist knocks her hard to the ground.

Angel steps up, grinning. "You know what the worst part was? Pretending I loved you. If I'd known how easily you'd give it up, I wouldn't have bothered."

Buffy rises, her fury bottled in calm. "That doesn't work anymore. You're not Angel."

Prue nods, "Buffy's right. Angel had a soul. You killed him."

Angel smiles, "You'd both like to think that, wouldn't you? Doesn't matter. The important thing is, Buffy here made me the man I am today."

Prue and Buffy comes at him - and they all trade vicious blows, Angel getting the upper hand.

Angel drives Buffy and Prue back, toward the glass counter.

Buffy and Prue hesitates, out of breath and Buffy is frightened.

Angel beckons to her, "Not quitting on me already, are you? Come on, Buffy. You know you want it."

"Prue stay back, this is my fight." Buffy says as she hits him in the stomach like a pile driver - He doubles over in pain - and she grabs him, thrusts his head right through the glass of the pastry case - then pulls him roughly up so the back of his head smashes through the glass top of the case.

Buffy wails on him. Punching his face, round-housing him, just pummeling the guy, everything she's gone through pouring out in a hail of blows. She sends him slamming back into the wall. He staggers back toward her, face cut and bloody, as she powers up a fireball.

Buffy hesitates. Pain running through her face. Hand trembling. And finally extinguishes the fireball.

Angel's smile is aggravatingly charming. "You can't do it. You can't kill me."

"Buffy?" Prue says with concern.

Buffy kicks him between the legs, just about as hard as a person can.

Angel drops to his knees, mouth open in an extreme of agony that cannot even scream.

Buffy turns to Prue, "Give me time." She walks away, leaving him gasping in the artificial rain.

Prue stands there a moment and then nods and follows Buffy.

Outside the Mall Giles is talking to the sisters, and Buffy.

"It's not over. I suppose you know that," Giles says. Buffy nods, not looking at him. "He'll come after you particularly. His profile - well, he'll strike out at the things that made him the most human."

Buffy looks at Prue even though she speaks to all of her cousins and Giles, "You must be so disappointed in me."

Giles shakes his head, "No, I'm not."

"No," Prue says.

Buffy nods, "But... this is all my fault."

Prue shakes her head, "I don't believe it is."

Buffy looks at Prue. She is close to crying.

"Do you want me to wag my finger at you and tell you, you acted rashly? You did, and I can. But I know you loved him, and he has proven more than once that he loved you. You couldn't have known what would happen. The coming months are going to be very hard - I suspect on all of us. But if you're looking for guilt, Buffy, I'm not your man. All you will have from me is my support... and my respect." Giles says.

"The same goes for us," Phoebe says.

Buffy says nothing, spilling eloquent tears.

Back at the Manor Buffy sits on the couch watching TV. Prue and Phoebe are on either side of her.

Piper walks in from the kitchen carrying a cupcake, "Did I miss anything?"

"Some singing. And some running around," Buffy says.

Piper sets a candle in one of the cupcakes.

Piper smiles, "Here we go... I'm sorry I didn't have time to make you a real cake."

"This is perfect," Buffy says.

Piper nods, "But we're still going shopping tomorrow."

Buffy nods as Piper gets matches and she lights the candle. Piper pushes the cupcake over to Buffy.

"Happy birthday. We don't have to sing, do we?" Piper asks.

Phoebe smiles, "I think we should."

Buffy shakes her head, looks at the candle.

Prue nods, "Well, go on. Make a wish."

"I'll just let it burn," Buffy says.

Prue puts her hand to Buffy's hair, touching it softly. Buffy puts her head in Prue's lap.

Prue, Piper and Phoebe look at each other and nod at the unspoken agreement. They will help Buffy to take down Angel together.