Rule 2134. Shipgirls are not allowed to tow people who want to waterski.
"Are you sure this is a good idea, big sis?" Kiyokaze nervously asked as she took in the scene. Namely, a man tying a rope to Shimakaze, the other end terminating in a crossbar that the destroyer was holding. And sitting in the water was a man in a life jacket and skis. Yes, readers, this man wanted to waterski behind Shimakaze.
"Eh, probably not, but look how much he paid me!" Holding up a thick stack of 10,000-yen bills, the destroyer flipped through them, drool leaking from her mouth. "Eheheheheheh... besides, they signed the waiver. Anything goes wrong, it's their fight. Isn't that right, boys?"
"Yes, ma'am!" both men barked.
"W-We shouldn't do this," Kiyokaze stammered, turning towards her last two sisters. "C'mon, girls, back me up!"
"Meh, I wanna see a crash. Might be interesting," Ōkaze shrugged.
"- and then there are a ton of Australians who do it and that's weird 'cause it's a desert country and there isn't that much water but maybe they do it at sea but that's not a good idea 'cause of sharks and crocodiles and jellyfish and the salt gets everywhere and it chafes and that sucks and then you gotta go see-"
Tuning out Soyokaze's blathering, Kiyokaze sighed and resigned herself to the impending disaster. Shimakaze, meanwhile, with the tow rope now securely fastened, jumped down into the water and tossed the handle to the skier.
"Hit it!" the man shouted.
Shimakaze did just that, her boilers pumping steam into her turbines. In minutes she'd reached her cruising speed of eighteen knots, already a good speed for waterskiing, and the skier was whooping and hollering and overall having a great time. But one did not hook up a tow rope to Shimakaze just to go at cruising speed. She continued to pick up steam, soon crossing twenty knots, then twenty-five, the skier skating back and forth on the water. At thirty knots it occurred to Kiyokaze that it was a good thing they were in Tokyo Bay, otherwise the waves would have ruined everything. And just as Shimakaze and her tug crested thirty-five knots, everyone realized the cloud to that silver lining.
Namely, a cargo ship appearing out of nowhere and cutting off her sister's course.
"Oh shit!" Shimakaze yelped, slamming on the brakes. Of course, even for shipgirls, going from thirty-five knots to zero takes time and distance. Despite having a good hundred yards before her and the ship, the destroyer still only skidded to a halt with a couple yards to spare.
CLANG!
The skier was less fortunate, the sudden stop doing very little for his own momentum, which carried him forward into a feet-first collision with Shimakaze's back. Stoppable force met immovable object, with the result that the skier flipped ass over teakettle before slamming face-first into the side of the ship.
"Shit..." Shimakaze spat as the skier peeled off the hull, leaving behind a trail of blood.
Back on the pier, while the skier's buddy gaped in astonishment, Shimakaze's sisters had three very different reactions. Kiyokaze sighed and began dialing for a medic on her phone. Soyokaze was muttering under her breath about the physics involved. And Ōkaze?
"BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" she roared with laughter, rolling around on her back. "Oh God that was even better than I expected!"