I am having no motivation. As some can tell, I am at a stressful place in my life, but I always put others before me. Well, like it did before, it's starting to hit me hard. Now, I had a very poor childhood to mix with all this and it's not working well together.
I am feeling isolated and just not happy. I want to continue the story so I can make my readers happy and that's what I am going to do, but I am not doing well. Normally, my emotions are hidden by anger, but for some reason it's gotten so bad that I can't even keep up an act anymore.
Now, I most likely will not just be open like "Oh here's my past and why I am fucked up now!" but I would like maybe a few words telling me this story is even worth continuing. I can't tell anymore. I honestly hate everything I make after awhile.
Anyways, forget me, I am not important. Here's all I could manage to write. Sorry, it's literally nothing, I just can't right now.
So enjoy, bye. ~Ash.
Chapter Thirty-seven:
The shadows in the room become more vibrant as I lay on Levi's chest, feeling his heartbeat thump against my ear. His breaths are slow as he lays there, sleeping, taking oxygen into his lungs. Holding him and him holding me, I find myself at peace, even with what's been going on. Levi helps me forget everything while we hold onto each other, feeling the love we always have. Levi twitches in his sleep, telling me he has entered the other world, bringing anxiety in my chest as I try and join him. After half an hour later, my eyes become heavy and I move through the world's, waking from my sleep or entering my dream.
"About time, brat." Levi hisses, still placed in the chair from where we left off. His eyes are the same, nothing has changed about him, he is only in different clothes and a different environment. This fact makes me feel safe as I stand up, pulling him close to me, our lips touching. Levi mumbles pervert under his breath as our mouths rub against each other. My heart pounds as my fingers dig into his shoulders, only for Levi to slide out from my grasp. "Tsk, can't you control your hormones for one second?" He lectures.
"Not when it's you." I reply laughing. Levi scowls and turns for the door. "Wait, where are you going?" I ask, staring at the man I love. He turns back to me and sighs.
"Trying to find out more about this place." Levi replies, fixing his uniform that rests on his fit body. The belts that wrap around his body makes my eyes lock onto his skinny pants, they're not jeans, I don't think those exist, but they're hot on him.
"Can we stay in here a little longer..?" I ask, walking over to him and pulling Levi into a hug. He sighs loudly and does something that makes me jump in shock. Levi's fingers lock onto my ass, causing me to yelp and him to chuckle.
"Get your head out of the gutter, I am not fucking you until we figure this out." Levi scolds, no longer laughing, turning to the door. "So maybe try and help out so you're not left to jerk off." And with that, he walks out, leaving me completely flustered. Standing there, I feel my face heat up, still feeling the pressure of his fingers against my bottom. This makes me bite my lip as I exit the room, trying hard to not rush with testosterone. The outside hallways are old and made from stone and wood, torches keeping them lit in the dark, but the sunlight peeking through the metal and glass windows help to keep the light remaining.
How am I supposed to figure anything out?