Olivia sat on the couch, hunched over so her elbows rested on her knees, and stared down at the object she shifted from one hand to the other. The handcuffs clinked and caught the setting sunlight through the living room window as she contemplated in silence. She thought of what the metal cuffs represented. Justice. Olivia remembered the hundreds of times that she had slapped these bracelets around the wrists of a struggling perpetrator. The satisfaction of completing the first step in serving justice was a feeling she missed sorely. She did not, however, miss the sensation of sinking she felt when she was forced to use the restraints on someone undeserving. She sighed deeply.
The handcuffs also represented power, a privilege she wielded only under the tightest control. She passionately believed that cops should be held to a higher standard and that an officer who let the power go to his head deserved the full punishment merited by that standard. As a detective, Olivia always struggled to ensure that, if the time came, she would be judged righteous by anyone's code. Clasping the metal in one hand, Olivia reached the other up and caressed her throat at just the place where her collar would be when she played with Alex.
She continued to caress the cuffs almost lovingly as she reminisced about the times Alex had taken the cuffs in her own hands. Whenever she did so, the blonde's blue eyes would light up wickedly and rove over her submissive lover. Olivia shivered deliciously at the memory. The cuffs certainly did represent power: the power Alex held over her. Olivia again reached up to run her fingertips lightly along the smooth skin of her throat but was interrupted by the sound of a key in the lock.
Alex stepped into the apartment, sticking her head around the corner to look for Olivia as she slipped off her heels. "Hi, darling," she said crisply before cutting herself off at the sight before her. Olivia twisted around to face her girlfriend over the back of the couch, her eyes lovingly wide at the site of the blonde. "What do you have there?"
A blush suddenly lighting up her cheeks, Olivia slowly lifted her hand into the air to show Alex the metal clutched in her fingers. Alex's eyebrows rose high on her forehead, momentary surprise quickly fading into concern at her lover's strange expression. Gracefully, Alex toed off her shoes and crossed the living room to sit on the sofa. "Are you alright, Liv?" she asked quietly.
Olivia took a slow breath before meeting Alex's gaze and answering. "Yeah. I was just … thinking." Alex laid a hand on her girlfriend's knee.
"Tell me, Olivia," Alex cooed softly. Olivia sighed and resumed shifting the shiny metal bracelets from hand to hand.
"I'm … I'm scared, Alex. Of these," she murmured, punctuating her statement with jerks of the handcuffs in her grip. Alex moved to sit nearer to her girlfriend, pressing her slender thigh against Olivia's and leaning so that their heads were conspiratorially bent together. With her body, Alex sought to create intimacy and block the outside world from Olivia's senses. She wanted to shield them both from intrusion into their private moments and simply feel the tenderness and presence of her lover.
"Why are you scared, darling?" Alex coaxed, her voice calm and quiet.
Olivia sat silently for a long moment, deep in private thoughts, before she whispered her response. "When I look at them, I know that they're just metal. I've used them so many times. But when I imagine them used on me, I feel like I can't breathe." She trailed slowly off.
Alex leaned even closer to her quiet lover, pressing her temple to the brunette's and enjoying the warmth she felt. They sat quietly for a long time, the silence only broken by the clinking of the chain linking the two cuffs. Finally, Olivia sighed and turned slightly to look at Alex. Slowly, she extended the hand grasping the handcuffs to her girlfriend. "Alex, would you … put them …"
Brow wrinkling in concern, Alex took the cuffs, now warm from handling, from Olivia's slack grasp. "You mean, put them on you?" she murmured. Breath hitching, Olivia nodded jerkily and pressed slightly harder against Alex's solid presence. Alex paused lengthily, weighing Olivia's request in her mind against her own qualms about putting her lover through something that could seriously frighten her. Finally, she steeled herself and held out her hand, palm up, to invite Olivia to reach out.
Trembling, Olivia slowly complied, resting her hand in Alex's and exposing her thin wrist. Alex kept her movements almost painfully slow, raising the cuffs in her free hand and letting the bracelet ratchet open. The noise of each click echoed deafeningly in the apartment and Alex curled even closer to Olivia, seeking to exclude the sound from their closeness. Gently, she pressed one half of the circle against the skin of the brunette's wrist and pressed her jaw tightly closed as Olivia flinched. "Shhhhh," she hushed softly, her resolve weakening as she witnessed her girlfriend's obvious and growing distress.
She hesitated, unsure of whether to continue, but Olivia moved for her. Shivering against the blonde, Olivia stretched out her hand and, with nearly imperceptible motions, eased the other half of the bracelet closed. She paused as metal met metal, just before the ends latched closed, and took a deep breath. Setting her expression, Olivia pressed down and flinched as the first notch ratcheted shut. Her breath caught in her throat but she kept her body forcefully still as she tightened the cuff a second notch and then a third, continuing until it was loosely locked around her wrist. Shuddering, Olivia let her free hand fall slack onto the sofa cushion as she stared intently at the silvery bracelet around her wrist.
Alex held her breath, biting her tongue, as she focused tenderly on the woman beside her. Olivia was pale, her breath shaky and rapid, but her jaw was set rigidly and her hand was loosely curled in Alex's palm. Seconds ticked by agonizingly slowly but, even with time seemingly slowed to a crawl, Olivia's movements were sudden. She jerked her hand away, snatching it to press against her stomach. With her free hand, she clawed at the metal, digging her fingers under the cuff and yanking, clawing. Heart high in her throat, Alex leapt to wrap her arms around her lover, grasping both of the brunette's wrists and forcing her hands apart.
"Olivia, calm down. You're okay, just look at me. Listen to my voice, Liv. Liv!" Olivia fought against Alex for long moments, gasping for breath against the phantom pressure bearing down on her chest. Finally, as Alex's panic grew and her strength wavered, the brunette stiffened before gradually letting her body collapse back onto the cushions. Alex held her limp body tightly, catching her breath and willing her heart rate to slow back to normal.
Once Olivia's breathing had eased and her trembling lessened slightly, Alex shifted so that she could look into her face. "Are you alright, Liv?" she asked gently. Olivia only looked at her, her eyes wide and tense, and she remained silent. Suddenly, Alex had an idea.
Again she shifted her position so that Olivia could clearly see her movements. Slowly, she lifted Olivia's hand and held it close to her own. The dangling cuff caught the light for a moment before Alex grasped it and brought it to her own wrist. Quickly, she glanced at Olivia's expression. The brunette was still tense, still breathing heavily, but she was watching. With one efficient and controlled motion, Alex pushed the cuff over her wrist and squeezed until it was securely ratcheted closed.
All was perfectly still and silent for a few heart beats. Then Olivia lunged for Alex's hand, pulling at the cuff, trying to free her fiancé. Her eyes were wild as she began to mutter in a panicked voice. "No, Alex, not you. Not you. I won't let them hurt you, Alex." She continued on and on, the volume gradually increasing from a nearly silent whisper to a series of breathless, strained exclamations.
As Olivia struggled and trembled, Alex maintained her calm. Tenderly, she used her free hand to take hold of one of Olivia's, gripping it tightly and preventing the brunette from struggling with the cuff around Alex's wrist. Her voice low, she purred, "Liv, look at me." She gave her girlfriend a few moments to calm down and process her statement before continuing. "Olivia, I'm not hurt. There's no one here but us and there's nothing to be frightened of." Slowly, the life returned to Olivia's fright-deadened eyes and she focused vaguely on the woman sitting before her.
"Alex," she murmured in a gasping whisper. Alex leaned close to the shaky brunette and cupped her cheek with the palm of her hand, running her thumb lovingly over Olivia's trembling lips.
"I know, sweetie, I know. Just keep breathing, slow and steady." Alex took deep breaths, keeping her gaze locked with Olivia's as the brunette struggled to match her girlfriend's pace. Finally, though her chest rose and fell unsteadily, Olivia seemed reasonably in control and Alex let herself relax a fraction. Gently, she used her cuffed hand to grasp Olivia's. The two metal bracelets clinked together as she caressed her girlfriend's stiff fingers, massaging and squeezing. The contact seemed to further calm the brunette. Hesitantly, Olivia released her desperate grip on Alex's other hand and brought it up to run her fingers around Alex's bound wrist.
Her breath hitched softly as her fingertip met metal and her eyes flicked up to look at Alex. Taking some comfort in the blonde's calm, tender expression, Olivia hooked two fingers under the cuff and tugged gently, testing the metal's solidness. She toyed skittishly with the cuff around Alex's wrist for a few moments, her attention focused narrowly on the contrast between the glinting metal and pale skin.
Eventually, Olivia straightened her back, scooting backwards to rest against the sofa's cushions more comfortably. She leaned sideways to press against Alex, stretching her neck to rest her cheek on Alex's shoulder. With still shuddering motions, Olivia drew Alex's bound hand to rest in her lap, cradling it in both of her own hands. She took a long breath, letting her drawn features relax into a semblance of calm as she held tight to her lover. The clinking of the cuffs still made her jump a little and the sensation of being trapped still clawed at her heart but for the moment she could handle the fear; it no longer overwhelmed her senses.
Alex tilted her head to press her cheek against Olivia's warm, soft hair. "Are you alright, Liv?" she murmured soothingly.
Olivia hummed quietly in response before slowly lifting her head from Alex's shoulder. "Alex, let's just … let's just watch some TV or something." Her voice was steady but very soft, almost sad.
Alex bent to retrieve the remote from the coffee table, handing it to her girlfriend before again reaching to pick up the tiny, silver key. Olivia, however, stopped her with a word. "Not yet. I want to … uh … keep it on. Just a little longer." Alex hesitated, her fingers hovering over the key, before slowly leaning back against the brunette. Olivia was a grown woman, she thought. If this is what she wanted, who was Alex to refuse her? With her free hand, Alex guided Olivia's cheek back onto her shoulder and again bent to nuzzle against her fiance's brown hair. Olivia lifted the remote and flicked on the television, flipping vaguely through the channels before settling for some mindless flick. Dropping the remote back onto the sofa, Olivia consciously relaxed her body so that she rested heavily against Alex. The blonde's solidity and the noise from the television set was soothing and she tried to focus on those sensations rather than on the constant twinges of fear inspired by her bound state. This was good, she thought. She could handle it.
When Alex returned from work the following day, she heaved a sigh of relief as she dropped her briefcase to the floor. She toed off her heels and groaned inwardly; it had been a long day in court and her feet ached awfully. She padded into the living room in her bare feet and was only mildly surprised to find Olivia crouched on the sofa, again playing with her handcuffs. Last night had been traumatic but also a step in the right direction. As Alex moved to take a seat and smile at her girlfriend, she wondered what Olivia had planned for the evening.
The brunette raised her head when she sensed Alex's presence on the sofa and their eyes met. Alex felt her tense, exhausted body begin to relax, fraction by fraction, as she returned Olivia's tame smile. "Hi, Alex," she said sweetly.
"Hey Liv," Alex responded. "How are you feeling?"
Olivia tilted her head a little, turning a portion of her attention back to the handcuffs she played with. "Fine, I guess," she murmured. Suddenly, she blurted, "Alex, I want to try again!" Alex controlled her response, catching herself as she blinked and her body tensed. She took a few calming breaths.
"Alright, darling. But tonight, I want you to do something for me." Olivia only looked at her for a long moment, unreadable emotions ghosting across her expression, before nodding twice. "Good. Now, give me your hands." Her voice held a note of command, though it was tired and gentle, and Olivia obeyed. Slowly, she extended her hands to Alex, wrists turned up. As the blonde lifted the handcuffs from her grasp, Olivia fought to keep her breathing steady and her hands from trembling. She had done it last night; she could do it again.
With movements awash in tenderness, Alex paused for a moment, rubbing the metal between her fingers to warm it. She grasped one of Olivia's hands and very gradually eased the cuff around her wrist, carefully watching the brunette's expression as she did so. To her gratification, only the briefest shadow of fear twitched in Olivia's face as Alex let the cuff click closed.
Both of Olivia's hands were extended, waiting, trembling but patient, for Alex to bind them both, but she took her time. Gently, she held Olivia's bound hand and she ran her fingertips around the brunette's wrist, where smooth skin met metal. Taking in Olivia's reasonably relaxed expression, Alex decided to press a little further. She smiled lovingly at her girlfriend.
"How beautiful," she purred, bringing the palm of Olivia's hands to her lips and lavishing it with tender kisses. "Such a beautiful woman, all mine, to do with as I please." Olivia shuddered but from pleasure, not fear, as Alex judged from the pretty pink color that had come into her girlfriend's cheeks. She gave the brunette's hand one last, lingering kiss before releasing it and reaching for her other wrist.
With motions as slow and gentle as previously, Alex closed the remaining cuff over Olivia's wrist. Sensing Olivia's sudden flinch, Alex took both bound hands in hers and held them firmly, running her thumbs over the back of the brunette's hands. They were warm and trembling and Alex sought to still and soothe them with gentle caresses. Finally, satisfied, Alex released her grasp, but noted Olivia's long, shaky breath. The brunette returned her hands to rest in her lap, letting them twist together, unable to keep them still. Uncertainly, she looked back at her girlfriend. "What did you want, Alex?" she asked carefully.
Smiling reassuringly, Alex turned so that her shoulders rested against the armrest. Languorously, she stretched one leg out along the length of the sofa, pointing her toes briefly as she stretched, before lowering her foot to rest in Olivia's lap. Sighing with pleasure, she repeated the motion with her other leg, only letting her body fully relax when both feet were cushioned on Olivia's thin thighs. Wiggling her eyebrows and toes playfully, she looked up at Olivia. "I want a foot massage, honey," she purred.
Olivia hesitated for a moment and then her expression was brightened by a smile, albeit a small, pale one. She raised her hands to curl around one of Alex's long, narrow feet. She simply held it for a moment, feeling the warmth and tense muscles, before beginning to rub. She began with the blonde's instep, pressing her thumbs deep into flesh and bone and enjoying Alex's long, drawn out moan of pleasure. As she massaged, the clinking of the chain linking her wrists gradually faded from her senses. Instead she focused on the small gasps and sighs from her lover as the blonde slowly relaxed into Olivia's touch.
Alex stretched her toes as Olivia worked and let her mind drift a little. Olivia's hands worked minor miracles on her body, she thought to herself and then laughed a little. She always felt this way when the brunette touched her. Lazily, she opened her blue eyes and took in the sight of Olivia bent over her task. She smiled at the brunette's concentration and her calm posture. It was a sight that, after the long weeks and months of Olivia's tense fearfulness, was infinitely welcome.
The lamp light glinted off of the metal cuffs and warmed Olivia's tan skin. Alex admired the contrast and also the contrast between Olivia's skin and her own. They were so different, came from such different backgrounds, made different life choices and still they came together in the end. Alex smiled and Olivia, noticing, ran one fingernail up the sole of her girlfriend's foot, eliciting a soft yelp and flinch. She laughed lightly and stretched her foot again so that it rested in Olivia's lap. "Quit that, sweetie," she giggled.
Olivia resumed her ministrations on Alex's other foot and Alex shifted to lie in a more comfortable position. Settling back down, she sighed and looked up lovingly at Olivia. "Hey, Liv, tell me a story."
"About what?"
"Tell me … tell me about something when you were little." Olivia frowned briefly, her eyes searching, while her hands continued to massage her girlfriend's tense foot.
"Well, I remember learning to read when I was very young. My mother loved books; she would read anything that held still long enough. She used to read to me at night. And then, one night, she said it was time for me to read to myself and she started teaching me. They were Dr. Seuss books and she used to point to the word and then to the picture so I would learn. By the time I started school, I had been going to the library with her and bringing home stacks of books every week. My teachers didn't believe that I could read. I used to just ignore them and read under my desk while the other kids learned their letters. I got in trouble all the time.
"After that, she didn't read to me anymore. I used to go to her room at night with my book and try to climb into her bed, but she never let me. She said that I could do it myself, that I was a big girl now." She trailed off and intensified her ministrations which had slackened as she spoke. Smiling sadly, Alex gently pulled her feet from Olivia's hands and sat up, scooting across the couch to wrap an arm around her girlfriend's shoulders. Alex raised her free hand to curl around the side of Olivia's throat, brushing her fingers tenderly across the bumpy skin there.
Impulsively, she leaned in and pressed her lips warmly to Olivia's temple. She loved kissing her there, her lips caressing the brunette's delicate skin just where it met her silky hair. Olivia leaned into the blonde's embrace, bringing her hands up and trying to reach her arms around her girlfriend. The clink of the chain reminded her of her bound state and she flinched. But after a moment, the feeling of fear and pressure faded and she instead pressed her hands, palms open, against Alex's chest.
Alex's heart beat vibrated through Olivia's flat hands and the brunette closed her eyes, her own heart eased by the steady rhythm of life flowing through her beloved blonde. Alex turned Olivia's head with a touch and coaxed her to lie against her chest, continuing the pressure until the brunette was all but curled on Alex's lap. She let her hand snake across Olivia's body to twine her fingers with her girlfriend's. "Oh, Olivia," she sighed. "You know that you're going to have to rub my feet every night now, right?"
Olivia laughed, the shaking of her shoulders reverberating in Alex's embrace. She sighed in gentle exasperation and rolled to lie on her back, her head pillowed in the blonde's lap. She looked up at Alex's bent head and smiled. She lifted her bound hands and placed one palm on each of Alex's cheeks, cradling her girlfriend's pale face tenderly. "I suppose so," she murmured.