So I finally came up with a better ending for this fic, but unfortunately that means it will be much longer than I intended. Oops.
RECAP:
Dean jolted awake when something kicked his boot. Cas grunted next to him, about to mumble a complaint before seeing who was standing in front of them, arms crossed. He suddenly went ramrod straight, scrambling to get up as he dusted the earth off his jeans. He put a hand out to help Dean up.
Dean turned to face the man that had so rudely awakened them, but when he actually saw who it was, he did a double-take.
"Bobby?"
CHAPTER 37: 21 GUNS
Bobby frowned, gently kicking Dean's shoe again. He woke up with a small snort, and Cas began to stir next to him, sitting up abruptly. He rubbed the back of his neck, which undoubtedly had a kink in it after sleeping in that position all night.
"What the hell are you doin' out here, boy?", Bobby's words lacked no real venom as he unfolded his arms, replacing his scowl with the hint of a smile as he enveloped Dean in a bear hug, "Glad to see you're doin' okay."
He turned to Cas with an indecipherable emotion on his face. "Thanks for takin' care of him."
"What were you two doin' out here?" Bobby asked, motioning for them to follow him.
Cas leaned forward against the fence, which only came to just above his midsection. The walkways was mounted on a taller concrete wall, about 10 feet high. Not very high, but Chitaqua was positioned on a hill. Cas could see the river arcing around the camp, water glinting and winking, illuminated with the fading light of the sun like little shards of fire.
Cas heard steps approaching behind him. He quickly turned, raising his gun- but just as quickly lowered it. It was Dean.
"Got stuck with night shift again?" he asked.
"Yeah," Cas looked out again, "I don't mind, though. It's peaceful."
Dean shoved his hands in his pockets to shield himself from the growing cold. It had been two weeks since they'd first came to Chitaqua. It was now nearing the end of February, but apparently the weather didn't get that memo. A cold breeze nipped at his cheeks, bringing with it the warning of a storm. He wordlessly joined Cas in just staring up at the sky, but if you asked anyone else they were both on post. Great fluffy clouds painted the horizon, illuminated from behind by the glowing orange sun.
Dean glanced sideways at Cas, trying to gauge what he was thinking. His features were stoic, as they so often were, but they also seemed wistful now. The shadows of the coming dusk danced across his face, creating an ironic halo on his hair, and Dean realized, not for the first time, how truly angelic he looked. Not in a beautiful way, although that was also true. No, he was angelic in the way that the sky was blue and the earth was round- because it had always been like that, and because Dean couldn't imagine it any other way. One of his constants.
He was content with just watching Cas watch the sunset- which, no, if you ask him, wasn't gay at all, although the other Dean from his books would think it was. But this Dean, the real Dean, had stopped worrying what that Dean would think of him long ago. He had made a promise, after all, to forget that twisted version of himself.
Moments like this, when Dean was reminded of Cas' true power and angelic origin, Dean couldn't help but wonder why he'd ever stayed down here with the humans. What went through Cas' head when he looked up at the heavens? All Dean saw was a sky- an artistically painted one at that, but a sky nonetheless. Cas saw a childhood home, a platform through which he had been able to watch humanity for millennia. A sky that housed siblings that had long since given up on him and left him to rot.
When Cas finally shifted to glance at him, Dean quickly looked back at the horizon and the shrinking ball of gas that was just beginning to duck behind it. Neither said anything for a moment.
"You know-" Cas started, then paused, ducking his gaze almost sheepishly. He started again, "If you look long enough, and you stand still enough, you can see the clouds moving."
Dean simply nodded. He could see it now, the clouds moving ever so slowly at a snail's pace across the horizon. But that was much less intriguing than the twisted rays of light and shadow slipping down Cas' cheekbones. Even so, he knew there was more behind Cas' words than what he was saying, and he used his own silence as encouragement for Cas to continue.
"It's foolish, I know, but seeing that, I feel like I can actually see the earth spinning," he would know- he used to be able to, back when he was welcomed in Heaven.
His gravelly voice continued, barely above a whisper to avoid breaking the tentative blanket of peace settled over the moment. "It just reminds me that, with everything going on, the Earth is still moving. People are still surviving," Cas looked at him with his infuriatingly wise half-smirk. Dean offered a split-second smile at the comment. He was stuck in the trance for a moment, in the illusion that although there was the Apocalypse, life continued just as it always had. He wasn't able to discern why a lump was forming in his throat, or why it was so hard for him to say "Let's keep it that way."
Cas couldn't keep this from him any longer. He had to tell him. "Look, there's something I've been meaning to tell you. . ." Cas started, eyes still darting around the landscape. Dean's heart jumped.
"It's about-" Cas waved a hand, "this."
"This? The apocalypse?"
Cas nodded. "I've been- selfish. I realize that now. But you need to know, to-" Dean saw the muscle in Cas' jaw tick, "prepare."
"What are you talking about, Cas?"
"You know about the angel's involvement with the apocalypse?"
Dean nodded. "Uriel seemed gung-ho about it. They're all for this little reality show."
Cas tilted his head. This reality show was. . . unreal. "And I know you're not a man of scripture, so you have no idea about-", Cas glanced at Dean, seeing the look of utter confusion on his face. That's a no, then.
"Lucifer and Michael are to have a final battle. The victor determines the fate of the world. So it is written," Cas said mockingly, biting off the words.
Dean made a contemplative noise. "Eva mentioned that. What about it?"
"Both Lucifer and Michael need vessels before they can fight. Vessels, like how I used Jimmy as my vessel when I was an angel."
Dean didn't like where this was going.
"Each angel has their own specific bloodline of ves-"
"Can you stop with the prelude? I know how vessels work, just get to the point."
Cas was still avoiding his eyes. "You and Sam are the vessels of Michael and Lucifer."
Dean involuntarily took a step back.
"What- what does that mean?"
"Other angels will be looking for you. Trying to make you say yes, so that Michael can win."
Dean shook his head, mouth opening and closing. Finally his mouth snapped shut, and his jaw clenched.
"You knew from the beginning! You knew, right from the start, didn't you? All that bullshit about the Men of Letters telling you to protect me- it was a lie, wasn't it?"
"Dean-"
"No! That's why you got me out of hell. Not to stop the apocalypse. It was so I could be a vessel. You kept me alive just for this, didn't you? So I could-"
"How can you say that?" Cas stepped forward, and Dean stepped back. He stopped, "How can you think that?"
"What should I think?" Dean was almost shouting now, "Because it seems like you've been keeping a lot of stuff from me."
Cas shook his head, spreading his hands helplessly. Why did he say anything?
Dean took another step back towards the metal staircase leading to the catwalk.
"I don't think I can trust you."
"Dean-"
"I have to go. I have the morning shift."
"Dean!" Cas yelled after him, but he was already going down the steps. Cas could only watch as he left.
Dean just needed time. Hopefully they had enough left.
Maybe he overreacted. Or maybe Cas is just a lying, deceptive- Or maybe he was trying to protect you. Like he always does. What a good job he does of that. You don't really make it easy, do you?
Dean was conflicted. Obviously.
He didn't know why he said what he did. Of course Cas wasn't working for the angels- Eva had given him his whole backstory, how they'd found him after the angels expelled him the first time. Cas had a habit of falling. Not just as an angel, either.
But how could he keep this from him? For so long, too? What was he thinking?
"What's keeping an angel from swooping in and taking me right now?"
"They can't find you. I made sure of that," Cas continued cleaning his weapons, punctuating the air with the smell of gun smoke and oil.
Dean looked down sheepishly, toeing the floor with his shoe. "Cas, I'm- I know it's not your faul-"
"I should have told you. I know," Cas still kept his eyes trained on the gun, although now his hands had stopped moving.
That would have been nice, yes. Dean was just about to turn to leave before Cas finally spoke up.
"Dean, you-" Dean turned back around. Cas was finally meeting his eyes now. "You have to promise me. No matter how bad it gets, you will never say yes to Michael. Please don't give up on- on us."
"I'm not gonna say yes," Dean's eyes still flared angrily, but Cas didn't think that it was directed at him anymore.
"I'm done being everyone's puppet."
Cas hesitated, not quite wanting to voice his next thought.
"Are you going to tell Sam?"
"I don't- I don't know. Maybe," he understood now why it was so hard for Cas to tell him. It was like giving someone their death certificate. "Probably not."
There was a soft knock at the door. Gabe squinted at it in confusion- the guards normally hit it like a punching bag when they wanted him to identify a Croat- which was about all they ever used his powers for.
He was just about to get up when the door was banged on. That sounded familiar. He rolled his eyes and crossed the room to open it.
Familiar blue eyes glared at him from the other side. "Cassie?" Gabe hadn't seen him since he'd first came to Chitaqua, and to be honest he couldn't tell who was avoiding who.
Cas roughly shoved past him, forcing his way into the room. He flopped on one of the couches that Gabe had conjured to spruce up the room.
Cas tossed something at him, and he caught it. The contents clinked and rattled against each other. Gabe looked down at it, and an array of emotions marched across his face- confusion, realization, surprise, and he didn't really know what else.
"So, just like that? Cold turkey?"
Cas tilted his head. He had no idea how this had anything to do with lunch meat.
"No. I'm done."
"Not complaining here, but," he hesitated, not wanting to give Cas any reason to second-guess himself, "why?"
"Does there have to be a reason? Are you going to smite me?" Cas said mockingly, raising his hands in faux fear. Gabe's heart deflated, feeling like a little balloon that had been poked with a needle.
"Cas. . ."
"It was a joke," Cas waved him off, "Dean's are better."
Gabe's eyes widened. A joke? Cas? In the same sentence?
"I don't like lying to Dean. And," Cas looked away, seeming to have difficulty forming his next words, "you were right. And it wasn't just because of the pain, but that was definitely part of it."
"I did it because-" he chuckled, although he didn't think he was going to say anything funny- it was just ironic.
"Because it was the closest I ever got. To feeling like an angel again."
"I really am sorry, Casti- Cassie. Not that it helps at all, but-"
"You will help."
Gabe pulled a confused look.
"We're going to stop the Apocalypse. And I have a plan."
"No way."
"Give me one good reason."
"I can give you three. No, wait, more like three hundred, because that is by far the dumbest idea I've heard so far."
"Gabe! We have a chance-"
"It's not really gonna matter if you end up getting yourself killed, now, is it? Going straight up against Luci like that. . ."
"Can you- Can you at least try?"
Gabe rolled his eyes, glaring at Cas for a moment, trying to see if he would just give up on the whole stupid idea. But he didn't.
"Fine. But you're gonna need to help me."
"Of course," Cas nodded, relieved that he was finally going to be doing something.
"When the withdrawal symptoms start to show up, you know where to find me."
So what's the plan Cas came up with? Read on to find out- also sorry, I know this chapter is crap, I was rushing through it trying to get it out to you guys on time