Chap 37
Jack was sitting on the sofa staring out at the darkness.
The sound of gravel crunching made his breath stutter. The SUV.
His mother looked over at him and he nodded then felt his heart sink as the doorbell went. Not Ianto.
Victoria opened the door and Idris glared at her. For a moment she felt a flash of fear, then she remembered Jack was there and glared back. Idris pushed past her and went to find Jack.
"I should have known he's run to you" Jack sighed.
"He didn't know where else to go" Idris responded as he sat next to him.
"You do know he's cracking up, don't ya?" he demanded and Jack looked up from his hands, "Eugene was the same. Something upset or worried him and he would chew, chew, fucking chew until he couldn't even recognise what was upsetting him in the first place."
"Noah was a horrible thing, poor wee mite. Ianto was reminded of his own short-comings." Idris watched Jack frown.
"His mother killed herself, his father told him it was his fault because he was a disappointment to her." Idris watched Jack's mother slide into a chair, "Then his father beats and abuses him while telling him that's all he's good for."
"When Gennie found out he … well." Idris looked at Jack's mother and frowned. She does have perfect curls.
"After his rotten bastard of a father died and he came home, learned to be loved and safe, he never let go of the fear that someone else would see the child nobody loved. The child within who thinks he doesn't deserve to be loved." Idris now saw Jack's despair as he wrung his hands.
"Your Dad dying was terrible and he felt strongly for you. He loves you so much and it brought back his own feeling of loss. His mother, Lisa and Eugene." Jack grimaced silently as his mother shifted in her chair.
"The sleepwalking scared the shit out of me the first time Gennie did it. Stark naked in the middle of the wilding wood arguing with a tree about the dishwasher not getting emptied." Idris laughed and Jack sniffed thought a watery smile.
"He's not going nuts. He's exhausted." Idris placed a hand on Jack's arm, "He loves you. Your mum means well but her constant picking makes him feel small. In his own home, he shouldn't feel small."
Jack's mother cleared her throat and Idris looked over at her, "I'm not done yet love!"
"Toto and the boys have a home with me for as long as they want it, but I know that he'll wake up reaching for you, you bastard!" Idris growled, "You are the air he breathes but he is so unimportant in your world right now. He feels so lost."
"I never meant to ignore him, I didn't realise that I was" Jack sobbed, shaking his head at his mother when she cleared her throat again, "I just … I need …. God. My Dad's gone and I don't know how to be the one in charge."
"Oh Jackie boy. You'll never be the one in charge, don't you see that? This has to be a partnership." Idris sighed as he looked down at Victoria's feet, "Ianto needs you just as much as you need him. This sleepwalking is a cry for help. Poor bugger is seeing his dead mum in the dark, she's bloody haunting him in the shadows."
"God" Jack said softly.
"When she died, well killed herself, she wore the slippers he'd got her for mother's day. He found her hanging in the basement and the first thing he saw was those slippers swinging. She hadn't long done it, knew when he'd be home from school. How fucked up is that?" Idris grimaced, "Your mum has the same slippers. Think that's a trigger?"