Chapter 37:
The Flame King tickled her son's tummy and listened to him giggle. Belching puffs of steam, the little fellow wriggled around in his crib as his doting momma looked on. Finally. She was finally a mother. She'd envied Simone almost since the day Billy came into the world. Fionna and even Star had only served to ratchet up the envy into full-blown jealousy. That envy had only grown stronger with the news that Bonnie and even Marceline were having babies of their own. She'd been alone then. In spite of having a companion, she'd felt alone and uncomfortable in her own skin. Phoebe the untouchable force of nature.
After getting pregnant with little Cole, she'd been happy as a clam, but even that fleeting happiness had turned to ashes. She'd come between her best friends, and she'd felt a tide of guilt for almost losing Simone's life. If Finn had been there at his wife's side, Phoebe felt certain the Lich's gambit of seizing Simone's body would have failed. Cole's health-issues with the Quicksilver Curse had seemed like just punishment for her mistakes and failings. She'd been trapped in Bonnie's kingdom unsure that she would ever manage to get home. Somehow, they'd gotten past all of that, and it had seemed like Glob delivered them out of that ugliness. She was a wife and a mom, and she was content. When Finn had things sorted out with Wildberry, and when she'd managed to give birth to Ember, they'd be back together again. That was the plan anyway.
Knocking at her door announced she had a visitor. It was a bit early. She'd barely gotten cleaned up and dressed for the day, and the nursemaid wasn't here yet. In an irritated tone of voice, she called out, "come in!" The door behind her opened, admitting her brother and chief general. "Oh, hi, Flint," she said. "What brings you here?" Their relationship had been strained recently. He wasn't happy about Cole or Ember, and he wasn't shy about letting her know that. She'd coldly reminded him that it wasn't his choice to make. She didn't like doing that. Her brother was one of the few relatives to stick by her in her exile.
Instead of answering, Flint stepped towards her, his face grim. Behind him, she saw several men waiting in the hall. "Ok," she said. "What gives?" "I'm here to arrest you," he replied. "For crimes against your people." The Flame King blinked in astonishment. She knew her brother was kind of a jerk, but this was really a bit much. "As of this day," he said, "you stand deposed. Surrender the Crown of Fire and be judged for your crimes." Stunned, Phoebe retorted, "really? You're really going to do this?" Coldly, he said, "you were the one that chose to place your half-breed bastard in a position to take the throne..." "You will never call my son that again, Flint," growled the irritated elemental. Beeping from her containment suit announced that she better calm herself down. Chortling, Flint replied, "or you'll do what, Phoebe? You've rendered yourself impotent. By your desire to have those monstrosities, you've surrendered your power."
The Flame King grimaced. He had a point there. She let him carry on. "You will be stripped of your crown," he said. "You'll be confined. You and those... things... will be confined until entropy takes you." Coolly, Phoebe replied, "I will not go, Flint. You'll have to kill me..." The Usurper laughed. Shaking his head, he laughed until burning tears fell from his eyes. Wiping away those motes of flame, the evil being replied, "oh, you'll go, Phoebe. You'll go just to have a chance at seeing those monstrosities live just one day longer. Your only other choice is to see me dismember that one right here right now." He had her, and she knew it. She couldn't stop him from killing her son, and she'd be killing her daughter in vengeance right after. "You better hope I never get free," she growled. Ignoring her, he signaled his guards, even as he moved to the side-table and took up the crown there. "Enjoy it while you can," growled the fallen King.
As Phoebe allowed herself to be led away to prison, Randy Okonski came down the stairs to his parents' basement to find his lady already hard at it. After she'd fainted from exhaustion, he'd moderated her work-schedule, making sure that she got a full eight hours of sleep each and every night and insisting that she eat. He was taking a little advantage of Flint and his paranoia to have a little time away on the down-low. Every time the big fathead kicked Randy out of the office for his latest hush-hush meeting with his cronies, Randy slipped home to look in on his lady or out to the border to barter for food that she liked. He was a fool in love, but he was happy.
"Hey, babe," he greeted her. The pretty blonde blew him a kiss. Striding towards her, he lay a platter on the table. He was getting better about cooking flesh-creature food and no longer burned it. Shoko had been a very good sport about that. Shoko, who had both arms up to the elbows in her machine, gave him one of those radiant smiles that so captivated him. The young princeling smiled back, asking, "whatcha' got goin'?" With a shrug, she said, "was working on my equations... I think I've found my mistake." "Oh," he said. He tried not to frown. He had been edging up on trying to talk her into abandoning this quest. Honestly, he was happy with what they had. The business of her fainting like that had given him new perspective. He was torn, honestly.
Half of him wanted to hold onto this thing of theirs with all that was in him. That piece of him had been considering daring the Wishmaster's Maze. Every soul in Ooo knew of how Shoko's father had dared the Maze to win a wish and save his beloved Simone from the madness of the Ice-Crown. A wish would serve just as well to give them what they wanted. The other half–the part that had been gaining ground–would have seen Shoko do just as his mother wanted. He wanted her out of this place and back somewhere she could live normally. She was stifled here, where the very atmosphere could kill her if she weren't careful. He knew it had to be wearing on her spirit, and he'd not have had her here a moment longer. He'd begun to lose hope of this mad experiment of hers ever working, and he wanted her to stop trying.
Withdrawing her arms, the young princess closed the panel. Dusting her hands, she said, "I've been putting the mice into the unit with Flambo's spell on them. I'm starting to think that's the problem. It's interfering with the zero-point energy module. There's some kind of feedback loop..." His alarm ratcheted up to the boiling point. If Shoko once let Flambo's protective cocoon fail, she would burn to death in moments! The elemental was in motion quick as thought, moving to his lady, his mind only on dissuading her from taking that step. Before he could get three feet, the sounds of pounding on the door announced trouble, come knocking at their door.
"Be right back," he said. His parents were out right now. They were home alone, and so he headed back upstairs to the door to see who was calling. His mind seethed. This was everything he feared. He had grown terrified of losing his lover. He'd come to think that this place was the wrong place for her. He would rather have spent his days in jeopardy of his life than risk her life one moment longer. He'd been considering going to her world, even if he could barely touch her there. You have to convince her, he thought. She had to be convinced not to take this approach. There would be time to experiment when they were in the Candy Kingdom. She could experiment all she liked on whatever vermin she found. Just let her stay safe.
Arriving at the door, he opened it to find two Military Policemen on his parents' doorstep. He felt a tremor of fear. He'd been taking advantage of Flint's antics and his frequent absences to shirk. Had he been caught? That fear ratcheted up when the soldier before him declared, "Randy Okonski, we have come to arrest you! Come quietly, and there will be no trouble!" "W-what's the charge," the young man babbled? "Crimes against the laws of nature," retorted the bombastic soldier! "You stand accused of fornication with a flesh-creature! You shall be imprisoned for all time!" Now Randy grew suspicious. "Is this a joke," he replied? "Shoko's a princess of an allied kingdom!" "Where is the flesh-creature," demanded the other soldier?! "She's to be arrested and imprisoned!"
Randy pushed back, retorting, "you better show me papers or be prepared for a fight!" The soldier on the left swung at him with the butt of his shock-spear. Randy ducked and cold-cocked him, knocking him on his ass in the doorway. And that was when the wolf-drawn wagon sitting on the street disgorged a dozen Flame Guards. "Uh-oh," babbled the stunned prince. He stepped back into the house and tried to slam the door, even as he shouted to Shoko to hide. The still-standing guard had wedged his spear in the door and was now keeping it open as men piled up there, trying to force the door. And Randy's decision to take medicines to dampen his own fire was starting to tell against the young prince. Stronger than he was, the other elementals slowly forced the door open.
At the top of the basement stairs, Shoko stared in terror at what she was seeing. Flint had seemingly lost his mind! It was a certainty that if she was locked up, Flambo's spell would eventually wear off. She doubted that Flint had any real plans of sending a spellcaster to renew it. She'd burn to death in prison! As Randy gave ground, she came to the harsh realization that there was only one choice. Burn to death in prison or risk her life on her research and equations. That wasn't much of a choice. Rushing down stairs, she shouted for her hubby to hold them off as long as she could.
Reaching her laboratory, she began winding the machine up, turning on the systems in sequence. As the machine spooled up, she thought about the equations. She wasn't finished yet. She'd been working her way through them, and there were still some unknowns. She was certain Flambo's spell was causing troubles for the mice, but she wasn't sure if there weren't other things that might cause problems. Taking a breath, she began shedding clothing. Everything came off, including her few pieces of jewelry. She left it all on the floor. She could hear the elementals searching the house now, and she prayed her honey was ok. If he wasn't, well she would seek vengeance. Setting the machine to cycle, the young princess spoke a single word, "nullity..."
She could feel the heat. She'd always felt it at the edge of her senses–the whole time she'd been here. Now she felt it in all its terrible glory. The heat seared her lungs. The poisonous sulfur fumes tortured her as she walked towards the machine. Her skin was burning. She could feel it. She knew her hair was on fire. She could smell it. Step by painful step, she walked into the machine. That was what Randy saw as he was dragged in chains into the basement. His lover stepping into that death-machine naked as the day she was born, burning to a crisp even as she did so. As the soldiers shouted at her, she stepped into the machine. There was a tremendous flash of light, and she was gone. Randy went limp then, howling and wailing in pain as he realized that the woman he'd come to love so badly was now lost. "Call it in," shouted the lead soldier! "Let's get this one to the dungeon."
The campaign against the loyalists was swift and brutal. The Usurper's troops surged through the kingdom like a wave, snuffing opposition and arresting thousands. Anybody fool enough to stick his head up was summarily executed. In a matter of hours the Fire Kingdom was brought under the complete control of the Army. Testifying to the efficiency of the purge, news reaching the other kingdoms was scant, leaving most in the dark about the disaster, including the King of Ooo himself.
Rising from his bed days after the purge had been completed, the big man tried once more to contact his beloved wife and second love. He'd only been able to exchange text messages due to some mysterious service outage in the Fire Kingdom, and it had left him very worried. Sitting on the edge of the bed, listening to the phone ring, he found himself muttering, "c'mon, Phoebes. What's going on? Answer, dammit!" His mind couldn't really help going back to the time he'd been trapped in the Treehouse by a knife storm, trying to call Phoebes. He'd been afraid she was angry at him for some imagined slight, and he'd been desperate to hear her voice. He'd ended up having that weird dream of the Pillow-World. He only half-remembered that dream, but he absolutely remembered the fear of losing Phoebe that he'd felt back then.
Sitting down beside him, Lollipop asked what was wrong. "Can't raise Phoebes," Finn sighed. "Not for days. All I can get is text messages..." "She may be busy," Lollipop reminded him. "I'm sure she'd respond if she could." In the mean-time, he had a lot on his plate too. Nodding, the unhappy King of Ooo put the phone aside. Work was taking him further and further afield from his family–the very people who'd put him on this road. He was only doing this to protect them, but it was starting to feel like it would take him from them forever. He had a very real fear of that.
Moving on, the big man hit the shower–alone for a change. The girls no longer competed to sneak in. Most of them had stopped anyway. Breakfast was still enjoying the novelty when she didn't get caught and cussed at. Drew had insisted on Finn showering alone because she felt as though he didn't get any rest or time to himself. She was right, and he knew it. At the same time, it was one of the few opportunities he got to just talk with his ladies where they weren't fighting over the stupid war or worrying over Billy and the other kids, and he missed the conversation. It was a familiar hell that he remembered from the early days when he was juggling being Captain of the Guard with looking after Simone and Emeraude and sometimes failing both jobs. But life goes on, he thought, and standing in the shower going wrinkly doesn't get me closer to finishing this or help protect anybody.
Done with his shower, he went out, got dressed, and headed down to his first meeting of the day. The cabinet meeting was pretty much the first item on the agenda every day. That let everybody go actually get stuff done the rest of the day before coming home to meet up again for a very short dinner. It wasn't optimal, but with everybody rushing around with their hair on fire stamping out the crisis of the moment, it was what it was.
Nadia went first, going over the problems with the people of Candy-Town and their research down in the lab. Progress was being made on the problem of the zombies, but it wasn't great. They still hadn't found a cure that would see Billy able to leave his prison. Finn–indeed all of Ooo–needed the young wizard at work. Moving on, the big man gave the floor to Ingrid. With the battle to hold the line on the Tesla Barrier finished, Finn was looking at pushing back against Wildberry and her allies as a way to force them to the bargaining table. Standing up, the tall princess took the floor, looking natty in a soft, green, thigh-length dress that showed off her fantastic legs and hard little body. Little bits of lace and flourishes here and there made her look far more feminine than she'd managed to be before. Finn knew Lollipop had been helping her with that, and the results were fantastic.
"I'm ready to move on Breakfast Kingdom," said Ingrid, "anytime you wish it, my King." She was a lot more mellow now that she'd gotten laid. Star had told Fionna all about it, and the bad bunny couldn't help wanting to laugh. Everything about Ingrid said 'happy' just now. She wasn't always walking around in armor trying to intimidate people. She didn't look like she was going to tear your head off and shit down your neck all the time. She looked, in short, a lot like the rest of the moms did, and half the time, Fionna expected her to start sighing. It had Fionna and Star ready to crack up at any given moment.
Finn was holding off on executing the invasion for the moment. Here again Wildberry had them stymied. The Wildberry clones had helped Bonnie and Sarah quite a bit, but the two geniuses were still stumped by the mind-control spores. For one thing, the clones were brain-dead. Nearly as any of the brains could tell, Wildberry had some sort of psychic connection to them. She was controlling them from afar. They couldn't question the still-living clone for information because she had the personality of a newborn baby. As long as Wildberry and Blargetha could turn their army into zombies–meatheads as Star and Fionna put it–Finn wasn't ready to move. The good news was that they'd isolated the remaining routes around the Tesla-Barrier. Wildberry wouldn't be trying their defenses again. The bad news was that they were heading into fall with many of the kingdoms ready to turn inward. Things would get very dangerous if they didn't get this war shut down before the snows came.
Calmly, Finn asked, "how long until the preparations go stale?" Ingrid had been giving this same report for a week now. She'd been clearly irritated the first time he shut things down. Now she calmly replied, "two more weeks, my King. You have that long until we need to start over." The holes in Blargetha's defenses weren't going to go unnoticed forever. Ingrid had begun to militate for dragging the vampires out of their isolation as a hedge against berry-bitch and her clones. It was unlikely the undead could be affected. Cherry–and by extension, Finn–had sunk a lot of resources into rescuing the Moon and Heirophant. It might have been nice to see that bear fruit. Finn had promised to consider it, thought Fionna was certain he intended to do no such thing. He'd asserted on several occasions that Marshall was doing the adult thing–finally–and it did no good to reward that by trying to drag the Vampire King into doing awful things against his will.
At least she's dropped the army thing, thought Fionna. Ingrid hadn't brought up the battle-droids since they got back from Candy-Town, and everybody was grateful. Dealing with all they had already was hard enough. Just the business with the meatheads had everybody working themselves to a frazzle. They had thousands of people stuck in hospital wards across the kingdom–citizens of Candy-Town who'd been turned into sock-puppets by Wildberry Princess. The crazies who'd tear you limb-from-limb had been bad, but they tended to kill each other off. Thousands of people who were literally too mindless to get in out of the rain was a much bigger problem. Fionna and Star had spent days getting them all rounded up, and Lollipop and Drew had been in the thick of things, finding spaces to place them all and healthy people to take care of them. They were straining the hospitals to breaking, and there were men, women, children, and elderly in the bunch.
"We're closing in, Finn," said the Minister for Magic. Simone looked exhausted, but she also looked exultant. She had a line on the Fire Bleeder, and she, Betty, and Patrick were working their way ever closer. She thought they'd have the answer in days. That would let Finn maybe get there first because Maja seemed to be failing. Cherry's network said that the witch spent days at a time cooped up in her lab to little success. The princesses were contemplating mutiny against her. "Keep at it, babe," said Finn. "I need to know the minute you find it." Turning to his Minister for Technology, he said, "gonna' need a ship. I don't think we'll want to wait on this." The Grid-Face Princess swore he would have it. Finn dissolved the meeting then, admonishing Breakfast to have a report on the food supply on his desk by morning.
Down in the basement, Bonnie, Sarah, and Boniface all sat in front of a microscope reviewing tissue samples from the dead Wildberry clone. They had succeeded in isolating the source of the dangerous pollen to glands around the clone's neck and armpits. Now they were picking apart one of those glands to see just what it did. So far the news was troubling. They had heard all about Star's encounters with the meatheads, and the news had left all three geniuses in a state of panic. It now appeared their fear was well grounded. "There appears to be just one spore-type," muttered Bonnie. "Somehow she's able to alter the toxin the spores are releasing by some for of chemical remote control." Sarah gave vent to a bout of swearing. It was another setback. It was almost as though they needed Maja herself for this.
Striding through the door, Nadia opined, "I'm guessing no progress..." Bon sighed heavily, and Sarah explained, "the spores appear to be reprogrammable. Somehow she's able to tune the toxin from afar. Wildberry's become a perfect bio-weapon..." Which perfectly justified the glum looks. It looked–and sounded–near to hopeless.
With a sigh, Nadia said, "there's one other possibility..." The other three geniuses glared at her. Flushing, the Grid-Face Princess admitted, "it's Noemi... Noemi might be able to help us..." Frowning, Bonnie asked the obvious, "why didn't you mention this before?" "Partly I wasn't sure," replied the cyborg, "partly I was afraid of making waves..." Now those three frowns deepened. Flushing, the Grid-Face Princess admitted, "she tried to seduce Bon while he was negotiating for troops..." As a stunned Boniface Bubblegum stared, Nadia told them the story the Purple Princess had told her–about using her pheremones to try seducing the bubblegum prince. When she finished the story, Boniface was blushing in unpleasant memory. He had been attracted and completely unable to understand why. He'd come home and jumped his wife like a fiend.
Nadia explained, "their females sometimes fight pheremone wars over desirable men, tuning and retuning their body chemistry to drown each other out..." Bonnie turned to Sarah, who was already moving. "On it," she said, as she crossed the room. Bon found himself grinning. He was supposed to be the boring–and less desirable–son! It felt nice to have independent confirmation that he wasn't. Bonnie moved on, saying, "it may not pan out. Let's keep at it. I want to try and figure out how this works by end of the day."
Upstairs, Finn the King went back to work on the phones, lobbying long time friends to come to his side. It was a tough row to hoe with so many now clearly terrified of Wildberry and Maja. In the end, all he got for a day's worth of effort was Ocean Princess, who was so minor as to be irrelevant, but it was a start. It was the first flake of snow in what he hoped would become an avalanche that would bury Wildberry and Maja. Done for the day, the big man got up to go, but found his way blocked when he opened the door to find Cherry, Ingrid, Nadia, and Breakfast on his doorstep. It was clear from the looks on their faces that the news wasn't good.
Calm as anything, Cherry told him, "Maja's on the move. She's taken flight on that war-elephant. Destination unknown, but she was headed southeast." Emerald Kingdom. If she hadn't found the Fire-Bleeder, she had some idea where it was. Finn's eyes flicked to Nadia. The cyborg-woman didn't disappoint, as she reported, "Piotr's at the airfield waiting. There's a car downstairs." Finn thanked both wives with a kiss. Then he was gone in the blink of an eye–headed off to grab his weapons and gear. He left behind a fair amount of tumult.
Nadia asked, "who's going with him? Star or Fionna?" Ingrid replied, "I need them here. Fionna's still got to finish the drive to the Grey Forest, and Star's needed on the southern border." "We can't let him go alone," said Cherry. "Somebody's got to go with him. It can't be me, because I have to finish polishing off Sugarlump's gang and rooting out Orzsebet's agents." Three hostile faces turned towards Breakfast, who swallowed down a lump of terror. "Get your shit packed," said Cherry. When the breakfast cutie might have protested, the hostile crimelord coldly told her, "you want that spot? You're going to earn it."
Fifteen minutes later, Finn came down the stairs to the waiting car to find Ingrid and Cherry waiting on him. Cherry informed him, "I've called Betty and Simone and told them to speed things up if they can. Simone says she's going to be out at Emerald Kingdom in a couple days tops. Do try and stay out of trouble until then..." Face flushed, Finn nodded nonetheless. He found himself standing there with the pair in an awkward and unpleasant moment with all the unhappy thoughts of his existence flowing through his mind. He refused to say that word. It sounded much too final right now. Breaking the impasse, Cherry grabbed him by the collar and pulled his face to hers, locking lips with him a long few minutes. Relinquishing her grip, she stood aside for Ingrid, who gave him a comparatively chaste kiss. "Be back soon as I can," he said, as headed for the car.
"Why couldn't it be Breezy," muttered Cherry? She knew the very idea was adulterous. Breezy was married and had the kids to prove it. At the same time, the Princess of the Underworld found she would much have preferred the Queen Bee over Breakfast Princess. There was a loyalty there that could only flow from honest love. Breezy loved Finn with all her heart and would have gladly laid down her life for him. More to the point, Breezy was a magician, well able to defend herself in a fight when Breakfast was about as useful as tits on a bull. If they were lucky her presence would keep Finn from doing any of the usual stupid things until Simone and Betty could get there.
In the limo, Finn was startled to find himself sitting opposite sisters Breakfast and Toast. "Uh, hey, baby," said Breakfast. "Uh, the girls thought my... uh... familiarity with Emerald Kingdom would help you..." Finn stared at the pair in suspicion as Breakfast tried to explain how she'd been to Emerald Kingdom before and how much she knew about the place. Giggling in humor at her sister's absolutely atrocious lies, Toast said, "big sister is lieing, of course, Finn. Cherry thinks that if we're along, you won't do anything reckless because you have to protect us." Slipping into the seat next to him, she grabbed his arm and lay her head on his shoulder, saying, "so you be a good boy until they can get some firepower to come to Emerald Kingdom, 'kay?" Breakfast's face was red-hot, and she gave her sister a strangely jealous look.
For his part, Finn did his best not to lose his cool and kick the pair of them out of the car. He was far south of happy about this, but he knew that the whole thing would get shut down if he protested. The girls would make him wait until Simone and Betty were free to go, and that would give Maja a head start with whatever she was planning to do. That was far too risky. They had no way of knowing just how far ahead of things she really was right now. The fact that she was flying out to Emerald Kingdom told him she was close. She was very close, and seconds could be counting against them right now.
"When we get to Emerald Kingdom," he said, "you will lock yourselves in our room. You will not come out unless I allow it..." Breakfast opened her mouth to speak, but he said, "those are my orders, Minister." Tousling his hair, Toast said, "you sure do sound bossy now, Finn. Never figured you for the type. I guess you're getting the hang of all this 'King of Ooo' stuff, huh?" The big man blushed to his hair. This was going to be a long trip.
Finn spent much of the ride over with his eyes shut, thinking about what he was going to do. He would be working around Beeps and Toast now. Work had to get done, even if they were somewhat in the way. Principally, he had to talk Aysun down from joining Wildberry's faction again. With Alexia on his side, that was already going to be hard work. That was one thing the sisters could help him with. They were living proof of Maja and Wildberry's treachery. The Emerald Princess was power-hungry and not terribly bright, but he didn't think she was suicidal. Of course, he knew that Maja's principal goal wasn't going to be taking on allies. If she had the Fire-Bleeder, she didn't need them. Maja's eyes would be focused on the main chance. Somewhere south and east of Emerald Kingdom lay a terrifying threat to life on Ooo. She just had to find it.
"Hey, Finn," asked Toast? The big man turned to the younger sister. She was sitting on the floor of the airship, playing a solo game of Card-Wars. "Yeah, Toaster," he asked? In a strange sort of half-bemused tone, the middle sister asked, "how come Maja doesn't just go get a wish like you did?" Finn frowned at her. "You went twice," she pointed out. "And you won both times. And you were dumber than a post." Finn tried not to flinch at that damning assessment, as Toast proceeded to explain how she thought of the situation–and him. "She could probably just wish for this Fire-Bleeder the way you wished up your elephant," said Toast.
Finn came over and sat down before her. Taking the other deck of cards in his hands, he said, "babe, why did you come?" Toast, who was focused on the deck in her hands, said, "I asked you a question first." Finn blushed to his hair. Shuffling the cards in his hand, the big man said, "it's not like you're thinking, Toaster... Aquandrius is smarter than every person on Ooo, Bonnie included. But not in the way you'd understand it." The younger woman frowned up at him. Her brown eyes focused in on his with razor precision. It was a little eerie.
Coolly, Finn explained, "Aquandrius can see into the distant past and into the far flung future, all at the same time." As he began to deploy cards against her, he said, "he can see every step that led to you being there in his maze, and he can see every step you'd take on your way back out again. Bon explained it to me once... He can literally alter the way your parents came together and cause you not to be born. And that's how he causes wishes to be fulfilled. He gives you what you asked for, but not in any way you'd be able to understand it..." "Like Huntress," she asked? Finn nodded. "E wanted a husband," said Finn. "A dude who was loyal and kind. Somebody like me." So the Wishmaster had given her exactly what she wished for and come close to blowing up Finn's family and setting Ice Queen and Wizard at each other's throats.
"The smarter you are," said Finn, "the more you try to out-think him. The more you try to out-think him, the bigger a dick he is. He can see every outcome, and he can pick the one that gives you what you asked for but is the most heinous for your whole life." "And he'd pick Maja getting burned alive by the Fire-Bleeder or something," Toast sighed. Finn nodded. Just so. Toast was studying her cards now, and Finn could see from her posture that something was eating her. Reaching out, he tipped her face towards him and said, "what're you thinking?" When she turned away, he had his answer. "You can't wish for this not to happen, Toaster," he said. "I've wished half my life for stuff I've done to go away, but we can't go back. He'd... He'd make you go away or something, and I'd be really sad."
Her face went red hot at those words, but she didn't dare to answer them. Indeed, the two focused themselves on the cards, neither saying a word about the awful truth that the younger woman wanted so much to escape. Instead, the two whiled away the hours playing the game as the airship crossed the sky. Finally, as the clock struck two in the morning, the pilot announced they'd arrived. It was time to throw down. Double-or-nothing. Hero-or-zero.
They slipped into Aysun's palace in the wee hours, with Piotr the Grid-Face Person going down to announce Finn's presence to Emerald Princess's Vizier. Finn sent Breakfast and Toast to bed, while he did his best to prepare for the unpleasant meeting ahead. This whole thing was going to go in a couple of stages, with him working on the princess, while he tried to find Maja and figure out what she was doing.
About mid-morning, the servants arrived with breakfast and a message from Aysun's Vizier. The princess would meet with them for a late-afternoon lunch in her formal audience room. Finn turned his eyes to the pair that had attached themselves to him for this trip and said, "what did you two bring for clothing? At Toast's puzzled look, the big man said, "everybody in Emerald Kingdom wears a robe covering their whole body..." Toast's mouth came open in shock. It had been hotter than the Night-O-Sphere when they landed! It must be hot as the sun out there now! Calmly, Finn said, "they don't expect visitors to wear robes, but they do expect you to cover your skin and hair. I'll see if they have scarves for you. Please tell me you have stockings or something?" Breakfast blushed as Toast giggled, "she brought silk stockings to seduce you... She hasn't been getting her fair share..."
Finn forced himself not to shout at them as much because the person he would really have shouted at was back in the Candy Kingdom. Instead, he coached them on what not to do and what not to say to the prickly Emerald People. At least he tried. Breakfast had been a party-girl and hell-raiser so long that it scarcely seemed she knew how to be anything else. In the end, the big man gave up. When the Vizier arrived to take them to their host's formal audience, he'd mostly switched focus to admonishing them to keep their mouths shut, lest they end up in the dungeon. He needed to be focused on stopping Maja, not on rescuing them.
Both women were dressed in scarves, long-sleeved dresses, and leggings when they arrived at Aysun's audience chamber. They found the gathering well underway, with people of all stripes there mingling and talking with each other in hushed voices. It was nothing like the raucous entertainments the two breakfast cuties were used to throwing. At their parties, it was anything goes, have as much fun as you want, as long as nobody got hurt. And nobody much cared how much or little clothing you arrived in. Here in dry, dusty, and hot Emerald Kingdom, Finn came wearing his heavy bear-hide hat over a fine suit stitched by Lollipop.
His eyes scanned the scene as he came in with his companions. Aysun was on the far side of the room, and a familiar bulky shape was there before her in a heavy Emerald Kingdom robe. Maudie. Peanut Princess was here, which meant that Maja wasn't far. Finn stepped into the room, with Breakfast and Toast on his heels. The guards shut the door behind them, as the big man coolly told his companions, "stay close by, but stay out of trouble." Without a further word, he stepped off, headed to Aysun's side.
He was sure Aysun's guest was Maudie. He'd have recognized the nut-person's form even in that heavy robe. Maudie was of a body-type with the Duchess of Nuts, who'd been murdered by his father's goons. Strangely enough, he missed the old Duke of Nuts, who had kind of been a fool, what with his pudding addiction and all. The old Duke's son was a far bigger fool, and Maudie had manipulated him into doing dreadful things that had come close to wrecking the world. Like many of the princesses, Maudie had 'grown up' one day while he was head-down, living his life, and he didn't like what she'd grown into.
He was closing in on the bulky peanut-person when a hand on his shoulder stopped him. As he spun around, a familiar voice announced, "don't you look scrumptious." Maja. Here. She was dressed in the Cheongsam again–this one in a champagne-colored silk. Her dress hugged tight to her body, emphasizing that the Sky Witch was a beautiful woman in spite of her treacherous, cold heart and evil demeanor. Today's dress came slit up both sides, baring firm legs clad in dark stockings, and he would have said she was dressed for the occasion if not for the cleavage-window in the front of her dress and the rather large opening in back baring her pale green skin to the light. "Been a while," she said. "Yeah," Finn replied. His subconscious slipped his right hand into his pocket and out of her direct reach. She was a dangerous opponent, and he feared what she might do, even here. Shocking him, the evil witch reached, out, drew his hand out of his pocket, and twined her fingers in his, before heading for the garden.
She was smiling archly as they stepped out in the cool, moist air of the Emerald Princess's garden. His mind went back to the first time he'd been here–with a much younger Emerald Princess. He'd come to talk about her feuding with a younger Laurel Princess. The two had once been close friends before power and ambition got the better of them. They'd been feuding over the Laurel Kingdom merchants who transported Aysun's emeralds to market–men who often tried to take advantage of the Emerald Princess. Finn had done his best, but things had just gone too far. Aysun declared war on her best friend and invaded her kingdom. Finn had come down on Alex's side, and he'd ended up getting banned by both.
Sniffing the damp air, the witch opined, "reminds me of the Bandit Kingdoms..." She'd passed through jungles on her way west from her homeland, but that had been many years ago. She turned to face him, showing off that dynamite bod, and he couldn't help but admit that she had a sexy, exotic look. "Think so," she asked? "Yeah," he replied. "A little too sexy for this place, though. They don't like people showing off skin." "Boring," sniffed Maja, "besides, I'm not the one who has to talk to that woman." Which answer told Finn quite a bit. She was here for the Fire Bleeder, and she likely knew where it was. Maudie was running interference to keep Aysun and her people out of Maja's hair while she dug it up.
Turning back towards him, she reached out and straightened his tie, opining, "it's a pity they don't have dancing." Finn's face went hot. This wasn't the first enemy who'd flirted with him. Penny held that distinction. Usually the flirting ended once they got to blows, though. In a voice that sounded calmer than he felt, the King of Ooo asked, "what would it take for you to turn aside, Maja?" Her brow creased, and she gave him rather a strange look. "There's no need for this war," he said. Which was much as he'd said last time. "A laboratory," he asked? "Money? Resources for your experiments?" "Are you trying to bribe me, big boy," she asked? "I'm negotiating," Finn replied. "Hundreds of peeps have died. I don't want anymore of death. I sense that you don't either." Her expression changed in a heartbeat, and she demanded, "what do you know about what I want?!" He'd struck a nerve.
"You could have just come out swinging," he said. "I can see you don't want a fight." The witch calmed herself. "I don't know what you mean," she said. "We're at war, King of Ooo. That's the fact of the matter." Insistently, he countered, "but is it a war we have to fight?" Her expression turned cryptic. He could see his words were having an effect on her, but he couldn't tell if it was a good one or a bad one. "I'm... in need of a court-wizard," he said. Her face snapped around, and she gave him a bemused look. "Me work for you," she asked? "When I need you," he replied. "I'd pay you to be available." That made her laugh. "You want me available to you," she asked? "Is that it?" The big man's face went red hot. Her words were both more direct and more sly than Penny's.
"You're a very beautiful woman," Finn allowed, "but I respect your power. I'd like you to consider ending the war in exchange for... what's that word... being on retainer." Her face showed puzzlement, and he thought he'd surprised her. Her face snapped away, and she said, "I don't like working for anybody." "I didn't say you'd be working for me," said Finn. "Sooner or later, you'd ask for something," she retorted. "Those bitches would complain of you paying me for nothing, and they'd want something." "Those bitches are my wives, Maja," Finn replied. Turning to face him, she jabbed a finger into his chest and said, "women want things, King of Ooo, and we don't like the word 'no'." He wasn't sure if she was talking of his wives or herself. Or both, he thought.
Silence reigned for a moment, and, for a wonder, she calmed down. Shaking herself, the witch said, "I don't want to talk about that." Before Finn could ask what she did want to talk about, Maja snapped her fingers, causing the soft strains of music to fill the garden. Turning around, she pressed herself into his arms. Startled, Finn stood there staring a moment. She wanted to dance?! It made little or no sense at all, but he went along to get along. He wasn't sure there wouldn't be a fight if he didn't.
So he danced.
The big man began to twirl his adversary around that small space, listening to the soft strains of that music. His mind was in turmoil. What was he going to do now? He didn't want a fight. He didn't want to risk anybody he cared about fighting this woman. At the same time, she'd made it crystal clear that she wasn't interested in working out a deal. Maybe if I sweeten the deal, he thought? She didn't want to be his servant, and he could understand that. Maybe if she had her own domain or something...
Dancing cheek-to-cheek, listening to the witch's breathing, the big man thought of things they could offer her. There was a great no-man's land west of Bonnie's kingdom. Much of the coast was wild and empty with only forgotten cities and decaying remnants of civilization. There were mutants there. Oceanside was a haven for them. It was within his power to give her those lands. He was a little queasy about having her on Bonnie's border that way, but he could give her those lands. "Maja," he murmured. "No talking," she muttered. Shocking him, she actually snuggled closer, and he was a little startled to realize she smelled really nice. Still, he tried again, saying, "what if I gave you a kingdom of your own to rule..."
Irritated, the witch snarled, "I wanted to dance! Not fucking talk shop! Is that all you can do?!" Things went south in a hurry then, as Finn tried to stammer out apologies. Face contorted in a mask of anger, the witch hurled a bolt of light at him. He felt as if his entire body was on fire just then. And then he found himself falling, as darkness rolled over him. Maja stared down at what she'd done. She'd come prepared for a battle. Really, she'd expected to have to lure him in and sucker-punch him. But not here. This was kind of a mess. "No help for it," she decided. Waving her hand, she said, "come along, Finn." And then, as she slipped down along the wall of the palace, Finn's limp body came floating along after her. They left a shocked and terrified Toast Princess staring after them.