Wow. This has been a hell of a first and second weeks at college. I'm sorry it took me so long to update.
Here you have a new chapter. As always I hope you enjoy and review.
Lv:3 V.R
And before I forget myself... I own nothing but the creative spirit to write this.
Roxanne had indeed hoped that this was some sick game Angelo was playing, so she would find a reason not to love and succumb to his never ending tenderness, but to see a confession penned, like it was the same thing as describing a day in town… she had even hope to find something, anything that would prove this to be a forgery, but there was nothing. It was his handwriting, that painfully difficult to read scribbles he would leave on the living room's table early in the morning when Roxanne needed to stay home because of baby Meg. It was his unique way of telling stories, just like when he sat by Meg's bedside and twisted fairy-tales to make them more close to home, more believable, making common and yet beautiful. In this tale, however, that beauty was lacking. It was plain and raw for everyone to see.
"Today I had a very interesting meeting. It turns out that Ubaldo Piangi, a very ambitious tenor working at the chorus, wants Angelo's out of his way in the run to become the next Primo Uomo. The man has friends in high places and a plan to get rid of that pesky little insect. He knows I don't care for the Italian and that I rather see him out of my life as well as Roxanne's. I don't exactly know what Piangi has in mind, but I know there will be some rather 'inconvenient' documents that may just bring the Italian some problems. Maybe even force him out of the country. I just need to pull some strings her and there, slip some information to the right people and this might just be the end of my troubles." She didn't know whether to feel shocked, or even outraged after reading her… César Giry's confession and things seemed ready to reach a new level of sordidness. "… Roxanne is finally mine for the taking. I can't believe how easy it was to get that Italian out of the way. Charles Reyer was fundamental for this and he behaved like just I had predicted and with the violinist returning to Sweden things couldn't have worked better. I mustn't forget to thank Ubaldo and his friend. Well the man had only to win, but his man's job… a work of art. It surely is good to have friends in high places able to make certain documents vanish. After that it just took me a good bottle of Cognac, a good word from Ubaldo and the commissaire brought to Angelo's attention that recently he had been found illegal in France. It will be ages before he can return and by then I should be married with Roxanne. All I need to do if to turn Angelo Alexandri a villain. Surely her poor heart may have just made things easier…'
There was much more to read, actually there still was a quarter of journal to go through, but Roxanne's heart pounded and ached inside her chest like a gating wound disposing her soul of all senses but pain. Whatever feeling was left for the man himself seemed now face and however sincere his emotions for her seemed to no longer matter. The pieces were starting to feet together and her married life seemed to be nothing but a lie. Roxanne felt one thing besides pain though. She felt confused. What had happened that morning before she woke?
Beside her, Julia was at the very least shocked. She knew the man, she knew of his ambition and of his love… no, not love, but some sick obsession. If he truly loved this woman, he would have strived for her happiness in detriment of his own, not forsaking it completely in behalf of his own. This man had destroyed her best friend's life and her brother's with it because he wanted Roxanne. Argh! If Julia had her way she would bring him back from the dead only to give him the most painful death she could think of. She wanted him to feel the pain his brother had been through all those year, what her friend had suffered then and was suffering now, but there was nothing she could do about the past, now Julia could only hold her friend tight and allowed her to cry, but that wasn't at all like Roxanne.
Roxanne got up, throwing the journal to a corner of the room clearly filled with pure hurt and rage. The Italian soprano wasn't even sure if her friend was thinking clearly or not, but she hoped to be ready for any kind of reaction, even if that meant endless screaming and ranting. Now the once ballerina was walking around the room like a caged lioness, as hurt tears started to fall from her eyes.
She could easily recall the last time she cried. Sure she had been broken when César had died, but now, looking back with a different reasoning… Did she ever loved him? Or was she contented with what he was willing to give her and so she just complied? Had what he had told her, back when Angelo was forced to leave, made her numb to the situation, and so all the pain fell on her when César was no longer there to protect her from it? Had been her tears for her husband and friend or for that and all that happened previously? Did it matter anymore? She had tried to kill herself. Was it because of all the mourning she had forbidden herself from doing, or had that been another's influence on her?
"I don't even know why I'm asking this… or why I even care… you weren't even here when all of this hellhole happened." Having Roxanne's back turned to her, Julia couldn't say that she was crying if not for her voice. "Did Angelo tried to reach me?"
Julia got up, walked to her friend and hugged her tightly from behind only to have Roxanne breakdown in her arms. She was shaking so bad even if sobs did not break from her lips. So many years living at an opera house, everyday being tortured with routines that were meant to shape a body to work to precise perfection, and harsh companions that would laugh and humiliate… one easily learns to cry silently.
"Annie..." Julia said rubbing her friends back. "We cannot fix the past, but we can make things right for the future."
"What am I going to? I'm a mess and my girls need me… Christine is pregnant and…" Roxanne whimpered turning to look at her friend. "What am I going to do?"
"You give what you can give and finally take the life that you deserve." Julia answered wiping her friend's tears with a sincere smile.
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"Megan!" Hector called as she passed by him to get to the dancing studio. For a moment there Hector had to make a double check. Meg looked a lot like a younger Roxanne, and wearing her black dancing clothes… the only thing that gave her away was the long braid of golden hair.
"Hector… I take it you haven't seen my mother." Meg remarked twisting her towel in her hands.
"No. I was hoping that you had." Hector answered following her to the studio.
"I'm sorry big guy. I haven't seen her for a while now." Meg answered starting to warm up. "She didn't look well, though."
"Damn. Today of all days. I've just revealed the cast for the next ballet. Congrats, by the way." He said with a large smile. "Prima Ballerina. Not bad." Meg just looked at him and gave him a wretched smile. "And yet you don't seem exited."
"I am, Hector. It's a big and important thing that I've been dreaming of for a long time. It's just…" Meg answered looking down swallowing hard on her emotions. "Me and Christine, we dreamed that we would be leading ladies. Even if it didn't happened at the same time, the other would be there to share the other's glory and… I blew it. It tastes like ash."
"Damn." He said seeing Meg fall onto some chair as she was about to cry. "Come here." He pulled by her arm and hugged her tight, like a caring big bother would do. Meg was only too grateful for his gesture and only too willing to hug him back, like a helpless little sister.
"Baby girl… Have you talked to Christine?" he asked rubbing her back.
"Mother and I talked about sending a note to Christine, but it never happened. I can't expect her to forgive me easily, after treating her and Erik like that." Meg answered never leaving the comforting rest of his chest. For a moment she felt him go stiff and her mind returned to his reaction to Erik's scar. It had seemed like he had already seen something like that before… By looks of things he would probably be furious at her had she mistreated Erik because of his deformity.
"It's not what you're thinking, Hector. Erik has been an older brother to me even when I didn't know him to be there, I would never judge him for how he looks." Meg answered hastily as she looked up to meet his gaze. "I just felt jaded, sad and alone. Christine had… has Erik to love and hold her when anything else goes to sunder. You know what happened between me and Pietro and what he said about Fabio. I did not know what to do… I was in pain and pushed away all those who truly cared for me, even my sister and, for all purposes, my future brother-in-law."
"But things between you and Fabio seemed to be returning to normal… Actually he should be the one here." Hector told her pushing her away just enough so he could look into her eyes. Meg blushed and smiled shyly as she looked up to him, putting a stray lock of hair behind her hear.
"You know I wouldn't mind if he was." She confessed. "But I like being with you too. You are my friend after all."
"Of course I'm your friend. You will always be like a younger sister to me, baby girl." He told her with a large smile. "Fabio, however may not find this very amusing."
"Is it a crime to have a male friend?"
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"A friend? A male friend?" Jack rechecked as he carried dishes from a counter to another where they would be served for the dinner costumers.
"Yes, a male friend and don't start with your shenanigans." Erik warned as he rolled his sleeves up starting to help him. "The last thing I need is to get paranoid."
"So that's what you are so nervous about." Jack concluded cleaning his hands to his apron. "You should relax. That girl couldn't take her hands off of you." Erik was bringing his own set of dishes to the counter and went stiff to this man's words. Christine surely wasn't shy about their relation in public but that having someone talk about it was going a little too far.
"At least have some respect. I'm marrying that woman." Erik scolded putting down the plats and then removing his own apron.
"Marry? Rumour has it that she already is your wife." Jack wondered looking at his boss through the corner of his eye. Erik looked at him a little confused but he recalled the events of that afternoon and her little trick to make him know that she was there. Of course the other waiters would have gossiped.
"Since when do you give attention to gossip? Anyway, she is the woman I love and Jimmy wouldn't have disturbed me if some random girl sent a note." Erik justified crossing his harms. Jack looked at Erik and laughed heartily. This mask genius had to have some problem with fixating names. There had been a Jimmy working with them, but he had left some time ago. The man that had brought the note to Mister E, as the staff had come to affectionately call him, was a new guy called George Davis.
"I just got the names mixed up, didn't I?" Erik asked mournfully. Why did he cared about names or what people thought of him? He found himself now living outside a very well built fortress, turned to sunder by the love of a woman. Thought he didn't show it, Erik was still getting used to the idea of behaving like a normal man.
"It's alright old man. We all make mistakes." Jack told him with an amused look on his face.
"Behave yourself kid. You don't know whom you're messing with." The older man told him patting his back as he walked past to get out of the kitchen. He truly needed some fresh hair, way from Silvermoon's bar and its smoky room, before Christine arrived with his doom.
Right on the other side of the road was pier with a wonderful sight to the beach and the vast blue ocean. Without thinking, without even telling anyone of his whereabouts, Erik left the bar-restaurant and walked over to the pier, leaning over the wooden railing and taking a deep breath. The refreshing sea air filled his lungs and relaxed him, as the sweet sound of the waves filled his ears and for a moment everything, every trouble, every doubt went into oblivion.
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As Christine made her way to the train station, her mind and heart had been left behind with Erik. She would have a life time to reassure him of her love and he would never take her for granted. It hurt to leave him. It hurt more when it was because some selfish idea that she had about making Erik and Raoul get along.
When she left Erik had kissed her languidly and lovingly, as if he took longer to finish that kiss would help to make time stop for them. Christine had enjoyed that kiss. It had been a nice change. Usually it would be passionate, or chaste and to see him, feel him just indulge himself in one single kiss, to feel the adoration he had for her in it, almost made her cry and wish she had never had that crazy idea. Then the kiss finished and he said "See you soon" with a smile on lips but that smile never reached his eyes as they were too filled with pain and longing to change and she hated herself just a little more for bringing him to this. Without thinking twice, Christine promised herself that she would make quite clear to whom she belonged.
It would surely be awkward… well, the all situation was terribly awkward in itself. There were this two very different, and yet very alike men that hated each other, united under one roof for how many hours it may be necessary, for her sake. One of the man had her head over hills in love with him, and the other was, or had been a kind and loving friend, that had come to her rescue the moment she called. That exact same man had once been engaged to her. Just the thought of it made a nice tight knot around her throat and her head. Christine was so lost in her thoughts that she never realised she was already at the train station.
"Christine!" She heard someone shout, bringing her out of her chain of thought. Christine looked around to see who, if anyone, was calling for her, but yet again her mind drifted away to Erik and all the mass that was about to unfold, well at least until a hand touched her shoulder driving her away from her trance.
"Christine. You seem rather distracted." A familiar male voice said. "It's everything alright?"
Christine just looked up to confirm the man's identity as being Raoul, but once she knew her eyes went down to her restless fingers around the locket Erik had given her.
"I'm worried with Erik." She confessed looking at the silver rose.
"I take it that he is not taking this well." Raoul assumed linking his arm with Christine and leading her out of the station.
"Erik seems to be at peace with the situation on the outside but one hears him play and all the dread and sadness of a broken man taints his music." Christine answered with a pained voice. "I love him so much Raoul, and he's such a good man. He doesn't deserve so much pain but he's enduring it for me. He's doing this because he loves me."
"Little Lottie, if he can't tell you this then I shall. I care for you a lot, I wouldn't be here if I didn't, but you can't have everything." Raoul said making Christine turn to him so he could look in her eyes. "I don't understand how or why, but I know you love this man. Just the adoration in your voice when you say his name… It was never there when you said my name. Go to him and I'll return to France. The two of you can continue your life and pretend nothing of this ever happened." Christine looked at him and gave him an honest, yet sad smile. It was refreshing to have some honesty coming from this man.
"I thank you for trying to get this mess off of my shoulders, but that is out of my hands now, grasshopper." Christine told him touching his shoulder and dragging him on the way to Silvermoon. "Now some friendly advice from whom had that man as a teacher. He has agreed to meet you, knowing that you would be coming. Now if you plan on dishing the situation, fine, but tell him yourself."
"You are not letting this go are you?" Raoul asked arching an eyebrow and Christine just shook her head and saw him roll his eyes like a small strong-minded child. She almost laugh.
"Come on, you little himp. The sooner we get this started the sooner this ends." And at this Christine burst out laughing to the point of tears leaving her eyes as they finally resumed their way to the restaurant. Raoul smiled gently at Christine's contagious laughter and his mind went back to the time when Christine's father was still alive and well. Daughter and father had the exact same kind of laughter… What would Gustave Daae think about all this?
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Erik was still leaning on the iron railing at the pier, is mind lost in music and dreams of future, the air running through his air when a familiar laughter tugged at the strings of his heart. He looked to the back, to one side of the street to see Christine with her arm locked around Raoul's and laughing at whatever the smart boy was telling her. Trying his best to control his emotions Erik turned his sight back to the see and exhaled sharply.
"Darling." Christine called leaving Raoul behind as she started running in Erik's direction. Erik turned to her just in time to catch her and lifting her in his arms, so she would bent a little to press her lips to his in a kiss, which lingered longer than any public kiss should.
"Missed me did you?" Christine asked teasingly as she rubbed her nose against the unmasked side of his own nose.
"Immensely. I was starting to go insane." Erik confessed allowing Christine to finally have both feet on the ground and leaning his forehead to hers. "My darling girl… What took you so long? Do you delight in my torment?"
"You know I don't. Erik… me and Raoul… we were talking. There is no need for this. Raoul has offered himself to…" Before Christine could continue, Erik shush her with another long kiss.
"Christine…" Erik breathed when he parted their lips and caressed her cheek looking deep into those greenish blue orbs. "Christine Daae, I love you more than my own life and I know it pains you to see me suffer, or so you say, but this is not about me."
As Christine and Erik talked between them, Raoul could see the immense love they had for each other, the care with which he held her close and the willingness she would remain in his arms. It had never been like this between them. Raoul felt like she was intruding, but he couldn't help to hear the masked man's words as he came closer to the couple.
"… This is not about me. This is about you and the wonderful person you are." Erik said caressing her cheek. Raoul remained a few steps away as he leaned on the railing and looked onto the sea. He couldn't help but smile for beauty had, rather ironically, tamed the beast… had it also turned it into a man?
Raoul found himself curious with the whole situation. Here they were, in plain daylight, the man had no hat to bring shade to his masked face nor had he a jacket for that matter. What was even more confusing was that people walked passed him and seemed to not care at all and he didn't seemed to be bothered with their presence either. In another time, in a different place, this man would have hid and shied from the light and from society. Whatever story he had told them, they clearly accepted it without making too many questions. Then again, this was a different world far away from the uptight Paris, perhaps he had not been questioned about the mask. If anyone looked it was because they were speaking French.
"Little Lottie…" Raoul sighed removing his hat and running his fingers through his hair. Christine felt Erik go stiff at the familiarity in Raoul's words, only to relax at Raoul next words and as she caressed the back of his hands lovingly. "You know he is right. You are an amazing woman with a heart of the size of the world with room enough for both of us. He and I are very different man, but not when it comes to you. I can see that now." Christine looked over her shoulder to look at Raoul but he never looked at her until he was finished. "For you, I think we can manage to get along."
Christine smiled broadly and almost squeaked in excitement as she looked between the two men. Reluctantly Erik allowed her to step away from him to hug the man she had once called fiancé, like she would a brother and Raoul was able to see his jaw tighten at the sign of affection. Unwilling to cause more awkwardness, Raoul stepped away and reverently kissed her hand.
"Now we." Erik said stepping forward and looking right into the younger man's eyes. "Can we compromise?" then he offered his hand.
"To have any compromise we must talk, must we not?" Raoul inquired answered with a defiant glare of his own. "I wish to know the man that hides behind the mask of a phantom."
Christine cringed as Erik took a deep breath to control himself. What was the boy trying to do now? Behave like the doting brother and inspect the contenders to his sister's hand? Ha! Be funny! The audacity of that little fop. And yet… Erik had to admit it... It took courage to stand before a man, clearly stronger than himself and claim himself a woman's protector, especially when he had been an idiot, to put it gently, to that same woman.
"Yes of course." Erik said almost cynically as he bowed his head. Christine looked at him and then at Raoul with pleading eyes as if she was asking to not make things even more difficult than what they were already.
"My dear… the Vicomte is right." Erik told having noticed the plea in her eyes. "There has to be a man beneath this unfeeling mask I'm forced to wear since birth. You couldn't possibly love some empty shall in shape of some broken misshapen man, so why don't the two of you go inside and talk? I however must return to my duties." Erik gave her a cold kiss on the cheek and returned inside. Christine stepped closer to Raoul and in a menacing voice whispered.
"I should kick you back to France for that."
"What have I done wrong?" Raoul asked confused.
"'I wish to know the man that hides behind the mask of a phantom'? What were you thinking?" Christine asked in a hushed voice. "You know he has been shunned. You, yourself called him monster once."
"I did not think that a simple, innocent answer would bring that on." Raoul protested looking at Christine in the eyes.
"You did not think… you did not think. Well start thinking for now on. If not for him then, do it for my sake." She asked getting a hold of her emotions before that little thread got away. "It kills me to see him like that."
"Little Lottie, I swear. I never meant to antagonize him." He told her earnestly.
"Tell that to him." She advised him taking a very deep breath.
"What are you so mad about?" Raoul asked confused.
"I'm not mad! I'm…" Christine sighed shrugging her shoulders not really knowing what to say. "Erik is right. Let's just go inside so you can see for your own eyes." She started making her way to the restaurant as Raoul followed her. What had she been about to tell him? It seemed to be important… why did she stop herself? Was it that important for him to know anyway?
Raoul opened the door for Christine and soon they found a table on the corner of the room. From there they could see Erik with a broom in his hands, carefully sweeping the floor. Now and then some of the waiters came to him making questions or coming with situation that only a manager would be able to solve as he would do only to go behind to counter and serve some costumers that were polite, kind, even striking conversations with him.
Here was this man that had been shunned by society behaving like a normal man and cherished as such, but how different was he really. This musical genius couldn't be happy serving at some bar or at tables… could he?
"Julia and I managed to convince him to audition for first violin, but…" Christine said, her eyes never leaving the man's form.
"The mask?" Raoul asked sipping from the gin he had ordered during the time they had been there.
"Wouldn't you be self-conscious if you were forced to wear a mask for most of your life?" she asked never really looking at him. "But no. It's not that. He intends to create a leather mask that perfectly mirrors his other side of the face."
"Good thinking, but surely there must be some people that know…" Raoul's question was cut short by Erik's blunt answer as he walked by carrying a box of wine bottles. "Those who matter know."
Raoul was not expecting that and the smallest of jumps brought Christine to the brink of hysterical laughter. It only took a few seconds of distraction and it was like Erik had come from nowhere, even if he fussed around like a lunatic to get everything ready for the dinner shift. Everything had to be perfect and the restaurant flourished and became more popular as the time went by.
"Where the… How does he do that?" Raoul asked seeing Erik's back into the kitchen.
"Old habits die hard. I guess Erik is just like a tiger. Silent and fierce on his approach." Christine answered in her daydreaming state.
"A tiger?" Raoul just had to ask. The man clearly was like some ferocious predator, but a tiger?
"Perhaps I'm wrong, but I believe that tigers are the only other feline that purrs, besides cats." Christine answered with wistful eyes and an amused smile and Erik looked at her for a slip second that no one would find out if they were not looking for it.
"Oh! He purrs, does he?" Raoul asked mockingly only to see Christine freeze and blush profusely.
"Oh dear… Raoul please. Don't mock me for being in love." Christine begged looking at him pouting and with puppy pleading eyes.
"So this is being in love?" Raoul looked at Christine with a sad smile and she closed her eyes to shield her emotions from him and his emotions from her.
"Please, don't do this." She asked him pressing her nose-bridge.
"I'm sorry. It didn't came out as I had intended." He rushed in trying to redeem himself, even his head went out of his control to sooth her own. "I just… I'm sorry."
"Raoul, I'm sure you will find a loving woman that will adore you and that you will fall head over hills in love with each other." Christine told him with that wonderful hopeful smile that she had as a child and she held his hands in her hands. "Please understand that I never meant for this to happen. If I could have prevented all this mess from happening I would have. I just needed to realise how much I love Erik sooner and I would have never misled you."
"Well you chose him in the end." Raoul recalled her removing his hand from her own.
"You could say that, yes. However what choice is there when your heart already belongs to someone? You don't chose to love, Raoul. It's just there."