Thomas and I eventually made it back to the hotel room. Both of us had puffy eyes by this point and neither of us were really up to talking. The nations were all inside, quietly chatting among themselves. They all turned their head, looking at us as we stepped inside.

Prussia began standing but Germany quickly stopped him, placing a hand on his shoulder and pushing him back into a sitting position. Prussia looked over at Germany, a questioning look on his face. Germany just silently shook his head though.

I appreciated it. I didn't want a hug. I didn't want to hear anybody try to cheer me up. It wouldn't help any. Tommy had been killed and I'd witnessed the whole thing, unable to do a thing to stop it from happening. And I couldn't do anything to make it any easier on Thomas. Despite my wanting to keep him from having to feel the pain he was dealing with… I couldn't do anything but just deal with my own pain and hope that time made things easier for all of us.

I quietly walked past the countries and towards the beds. I was soon hidden away under the covers of the bed. Thought of how maybe this was all just a nightmare and I'd wake up ran through my head. The idea of this all being a horrible dream and Tommy actually being alive was a wonderful thing to me. It would mean I would eventually wake up from it and be able to hug Tommy again. But… the chances of that actually being the case were little to none.

Somebody sat down on the bed, lightly rubbing my back as I trembled. Tears began to fall from my eyes at the feeling of the contact. I soon found a tiny sob escaping me. I crumbled, burying my face in the blankets and trembling even more. The person quickly climbed under the covers as well and pulled me into their arms.

"It's okay, let it all out…" the person whispered, identifying it as Prussia. "You don't have to hold it in."

I found Prussia to be turning me around and holding me against his chest. I released the blankets and wrapped my arms around him

The next week or so was spent doing my best to keep my composure. But with everyone being so somber I found myself breaking down and crying over and over again. I wasn't sure how to handle the loss. So I would occasionally lock myself in room to just be alone and cry.

I wanted desperately to turn back time and keep everything from happening. I wanted to make sure Tommy was still with us. I wanted to hug him and apologize what I caused him to go through. But none of that was possible. Nothing could bring him back.

Thomas had already gone back and told his parents the news. He'd be returning soon, tomorrow or the next day supposedly. But I didn't really care when it was. See him… it really hurt. He and Tommy had looked so similar. So every time I saw Thomas… I'd be close to tears from the flashbacks. And I didn't want Thomas to have to see that. It definitely wouldn't help anything.

I'd gone to the doctor's office, needing to find out how the pregnancy was going with all that had happened. The baby was surprisingly fine. The doctor had said that the development was going incredibly well and that the pregnancy was going as smoothly as it possibly could.

Eventually I even managed to get out the question that had been weighing so heavily on my mind. We were staying at France's, along with Spain whom was waiting for a new home to be finished for him. I looked at Prussia, the two of us walking down one of the many hallways of the mansion. "Hey…" I said quietly.

Prussia gently took my hand and smiled down at me. "Jah?" he asked.

"I have a question… about that day…" I said, my voice slightly breaking.

"What?" Prussia asked, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

"Trent… he got Tommy… because of Gilbird being with me… and he wanted me to get rid of him…" I said, my voice growing quieter and quieter with each word.

"Oh…" Prussia said, looking away from me and stopping.

I stopped as well, turning to face Prussia. "Why… why did he want me to get rid of Gilbird so badly? And why not just get rid of him himself? Why resort to threats?"

Prussia averted his gaze and looked at the ground. He let out a slight sigh and began explaining. "Well... I figured that Gilbird is always either with you or me. And I'm usually with you anyway... so... I had Britain place a charm on him, one that would repel Trent."

I blinked as I tried to process what I'd just been told. Prussia had asked Britain to put a spell on Gilbird? He'd trusted him enough to do something like that to his, as he'd put it, awesome little bird friend? And for me?

I quickly wrapped my arms around Prussia, tears in my eyes. But I soon found myself looking up with several things spinning around in my mind. I could've given Gilbird to Tommy and he'd have been safe from Trent. I could've saved him had I known. He wouldn't have had to died.

"Why didn't you tell me? I... I could've helped Tommy..."

"That's exactly why we didn't tell you."

I looked back, teary eyed. Spain and France were standing in the hall, looking towards me. I released Prussia from my hug and looked between the three of them with a pained expression. "I don't understand..." I said, my voice breaking slightly.

"You would've given Gilbird to Tommy in a second if you had know, no matter what he had told you..." Prussia said, looking up. "And the whole point of it was to keep Trent away from you."

"But... Tommy... I might have been able to help him if I'd known..."

"That wouldn't have stopped a gun though Marissa," Spain said gently.

"And then Trent would've gotten you after having shot Tommy... at least this way one of you ended up safe..." France said.

I looked at the ground. I knew they were right... I knew that Trent probably would've killed Tommy either way. But not having even tried when I could've, that hurt. It made me feel even worse about how I had handled the situation. "I..." I said, attempting to keep myself from crying. "I need to be alone..."

I began walking away, trying to find somewhere just think. But I didn't find myself more than four steps away when I felt somebody grab my hand. I looked back and wasn't at all surprised to see Prussia standing behind me. "Please stay and just talk with me. I can't handle seeing you this way anymore..."

I blinked, noticing Spain and France walking away to give Prussia and I some privacy. "This way?" I asked quietly.

"So depressed. So without hope. You were the one that kept trying to put yourself in harms way to help everyone while we were all trapped in the mansion. And the past week, understandably, you've been so distant. You've cried and cried. I can handle that though. That's you trying to get through this! But you've also been pushing everyone away! And that's not going to help anything!"

I stared at Prussia, unsure how to comprehend what he was telling me. He thought I was pushing them all away? I hadn't been trying to do anything of the sort and didn't understand how he thought I had been. "What do you mean? I haven't been pushing anyone away..."

"Yes. You have. You lock yourself for hours at a time, just sitting in a room by yourself and crying. You won't really talk to any of us... you haven't even slept in the same room as me for over a week now..."

I looked away. It was true that when I'd been locking myself away I'd end up crying myself to sleep, thus leaving Prussia to sleep on his own. And I hadn't been willing to really talk to anyone about what all had happened since I'd talked to Thomas outside the hotel. But none of that was because I'd been want to try to push them away. I'd just been trying to deal with everything. I hadn't even thought about how anybody else was feeling from my actions.

"I'm sorry..." I said. "I didn't... I didn't realize..."

"Don't apologize... just... please let me try to help you get through this..." Prussia said with a pleading tone.

I looked up and slowly nodded. "Okay..." I whispered. "I'll try..."

"Thank you, that's all I ask."

I jumped, startled by my cell phone suddenly going off. I quickly reached into my pocket and answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey..."

It was Thomas. I winced as I took in the depressive tone in his voice. "Thomas... how's it going?"

"It's going... well, you know."

"Yea..." A long and awkward pause ensued until I managed to break through it. "So what's up?"

"I wanted to invite you and the others to the funeral..."

"Oh..."

"Yea..."

"Um... yea... when and where will it be?"

"In a week... on the other side..."

"Okay... I'll talk to them..."

"Good... I guess I'll talk to you later then..."

"Yea, I'll call you back later..."

"Mkay."

"Ah... bye..."

I hung up, feeling incredibly close to tears. Prussia must've picked up on how awkward the call had been because I was soon in his arms. I stayed there for a few minutes before looking up to speak. "What would you say to maybe going to see my home?" I asked quietly.

Just want to say that this has been an incredibly hard week. But this chapter... it helped me get a lot of feelings onto paper. And the whole thing with breaking down crying has been my life for a week now. My cat, whom was a part of my life for fifteen or so years, passed away. Very difficult to deal with, especially with everything at school suddenly getting super busy. But... I'm starting to get better. It's definitely a process, grieving and such. And this is about the 6 or 7th time I've gone through it in the past four years. So... I'm glad I had something to vent through while being constructive with my time.

Anyway... I'm going to dedicate this chapter to my cat, Meow. She was a wonderful and loving pet. But I'm happy she's not in pain. Hope everyone else is having a good week though. Also, not sure how much I can update at the moment. Graduation is three weeks away and stuff is getting crazy busy. So sorry if it's not for a while.