"The Silver Puddle"

Narrated by Autobot Inferno

~*~

It was a nice day for a carwash. The sun was high, but the clouds were scattered so there was rest from the heat. The air was warm and dry, but not humid. Yes - the perfect day for a carwash.

Or, at least, that is what Sam's friend Miles told us.

He had made the claim that it would be good to get us outside and doing something, to take our minds off of our current predicament. I think, at least in this, he was correct. Afterall, I was not enjoying myself and I had a feeling neither was anyone else really. Except perhaps the younger bots. They seemed to have discovered that these new bodies had energy reserves much like our own, and seemed bent on depleting them. JumpStart was, by far, the most energetic. He kept all of us busy around the clock. Mikaela had taught him a marvelous new game called 'hide and seek', and it was all the sparkling wanted to play. Unfortunately he lacked the communication skills to convey this desire, and would simply sneak off to hide himself some place. We'd turn the base upside down to find him and he would merely giggle and do it again later.

I recalled the sparkling Academy near to my station on Cybertron. Always so full of laughter and tiny little metallic forms. I recalled that on more than one occassion my superior officers had to smack me in the helm to get me to return to duty - lest I spend all day watching the children like some femme.

I-I'm sorry. I've gotten way off track. I'm very sorry.. Uh, yes, right, the carwash.

After we'd all spent a day or so clothed in the spare fabrics that Sam, Mikaela and Miles provided for us, we all began to realize that, like it or not, this problem was going to be at least temporarily long-lasting and that we had better make the most of it. We needed our own clothes so that we could function without depending on our human friends. Afterall, we were not here to freeload from them. This did present a problem, however. Currency. It was almost a foreign concept to us, of course sure, Cybertronians had currency, we had to shop just like every other race - but it had been... years. Once war broke out stealing was one's only means of aquiring anything of necessity, and currency had fallen to the back of our processors, unless one traveled into friendly space past Cybertron. But such was not the case on earth, and Sam, Miles and Mikaela, being of their age and position - did not have nearly enough currency to provide for us what we would need. So, we would need to raise funds.

There had been a meeting of sorts called, wherein the lot of us - attempting to become accustomed to looking at each other as humans, pretended to be thoroughly engaged in the discussion... Trying to think of ways we could earn currency. Every time someone had an idea it was squashed with 'Oh, but I can't do that now..' or some likewise sentiment. That's when Miles, kind and heroic Miles, came to our aid.

He said he did not want to offend, but his idea was simple provided we were willing to 'play along', so to speak. He suggested that we run a charity Carwash. Now, I am not stupid, nor are my companions, so we easily assumed what this would entail, but were confused as to how this would raise currency for us to use. Miles had that covered - the clever child. He stated that the charity would be - us. No, not Autobots, but 'homeless'. It appeared that humans had their derelict and poor just as Cybertron did. We were not so different, were we? It was posed to us that we should pretend to be homeless humans for an afternoon and wash a few cars to earn currency for our supplies.

Optimus Prime was a little put off by the idea of lying to the public, posing as something we were not, and it was, surprisingly, Elita who pointed out to him that we were indeed home less. Cybertron, our home, was far far away. He relented, reluctantly, and Miles began putting his plan into action.

So, as I said before - it was a good day for a car wash, to quote Miles.

I placed my hands on my hips as I surveyed the scene before me with a smile. It almost felt like being back on Cybertron, stationed across from the sparklings... Uh, almost. Except, well, I wasn't watching over the sparklings so much as my team-mates. My fellow Autobots. My smile widened.

It had been, to my knowledge, marginally sucessful so far. The small jars scattered about labeled 'donations' were beginning to fill, mostly with heavy metallic coins, and Sam and Miles seemed eager to continue their efforts throughout the day.

"Enjoying the view, Inferno?" I tilted my head as I was joined by Elita One herself. Chuckling nervously I nodded.

"So much commotion down there, it's hard to think. I just - uh - came up here to gather my thoughts."

She nodded and for a second we both watched the happenings in silence.

There were three cars currently in our 'service'. Though it was becoming easier and easier to identify my fellow Cybertroninans as humans, I think I was able to name them all as they moved about below the small hill Elita and I perched on. The first car, a rather old model, what Sam and Miles called a 'clunker', was being taken care of by many of the younger Autobots - Arcee, Blurr, Bumblebee and Hotrod. It seemed to me as I watched them darting around the car, that they were more engaged in staging war against each other than they were about actually getting the car clean. Arcee and Hotrod had stationed themselves on one side of the car and Blurr and Bumblebee took the other. Arcee and Hotrod stood back to back, laughing as Hotrod swung the hose around and aimed deadcenter on Blurr's chest. Blurr stumbled backwards and hit the ground, laughing as hard as his attackers. Bee rounded the end of the car and snuck up on Arcee, shoving a soapy spunge between her chest pieces. Hotrod turned the hose on him and the trio laughed. I wondered if they'd even pretended to wash the car. The second car was a little nicer on the optics, sleek and streamlined. It appeared the twins had taken over on this one, but they were cleaning no more than the others. With Sunstreaker on one side and Sideswipe on the other, the young female who owned the car was effectively pinned between them. She didn't seem to mind, however. She was giggling and shoving at them playfully, responding to whatever they were saying in exactly the way I assumed they wanted her to. They were flirting. The last car on the lot was probably the only one that would actually be getting what it was there for - cleaned and possibly tuned-up in the process. I quickly identified Wheeljack and Ratchet at the car's hood, bent over and talking rapidly.

I heard Elita chuckle and returned my attention to her curiously.

"At least they are preoccupied." She said after a moment, smiling. It was a contagious expression that I soon found myself mimicking. I nodded and she put a hand on my arm. I blinked at her.

"I remember too, Inferno." She said calmly, and I looked away. "If you - need to talk about it..?"

"Thank you, Elita." I said sincerely, turning to look at her, locking my humaniod optics on her own. "I'll just remember the pleasant. I'd rather not talk."

Her smile returned, but it didn't reach her eyes. Odd.

"I see." She pulled her hand back and started down the hill. "I'm always audios, Inferno, especially for those I've known so long."

I smiled through half of my mouth before deciding to follow her. As I watched her walk ahead of me, in spite of her barely clad humanoid body, I saw her as she was - one of the most powerful Cybertronians I had ever met. For a moment I imagined she was no longer human, we were no longer on Earth - we were on Cybertron. Our station was so quiet - so... so very quiet. Elita was talking over the other voices, argued voices - but her voice stood out among them. Bluestreak had been so young then, shuddering to hold the door up with the aid of RedAlert. First Aid and Elita shouted well into the night until she beat down his resolve. I had heard, once a very long time ago, that Decepticon sparklings were taught that fembots were lesser compared to men. That they were soft, that they were not meant for war. I did not believe them. Working directly under the command of Elita One for years - I could not understand such a sentiment. Optimus Prime was our leader, he was our last hope - but Elita was my commander.

"Inferno! There you are!" I was jarred from my thoughts, startled that I'd sunk so far into memory, by RedAlert, frantic as always. I smiled at him, knitting my eyebrows together in afterthought. He was drenched and covered in soapy residue. I reached out to touch a bubble on his ear.

"Red - what-"

"That machine tried to eat me!" He declared, turning to point behind him at the offending machine. I looked up, and cocked my head to the side.

"Oh uh - I don't know about that Red. The sign says 'Out Of Order'. If it was going to eat you, I think it'd have to be functional first." RedAlert shook his head violently, holding onto my arm as if letting go meant sure death.

"You didn't see it, Inferno!" He insisted, looking up at me with wide eyes.

I smiled back at him widely, closing my own fleshy optics and chuckling. I tried for a moment or two to thrum my core at him, to help calm him down and bring around his logic chips - but I didn't have the pieces necessary to do so. I relented after a moment, and leaned forward to kiss Red's forehead. He leaned back and fixed me with a stare which clearly stated he knew I was just humouring him. He threw his hands in the air and stomped back out towards the cars.

"Of course you don't believe me. Nobody believes me! Nobody ever believes me! Ack!" I winced a little as he tripped over a bucket and soaked his borrowed pants up to the knee.

I shook my head and started a slow path towards Miles, who was seated on the ground next to an elderly looking man whom I did not recognize. As I got closer I realized with great anxiety, that he must have assumed this human was one of us.

"-ould be a good line to pick up chicks. I mean, how many men can say 'Hey baby, come on back to my place where giant effing robots will protect us?'"

"Uh, huh... Miles!" I chuckled, darting over and bending down to put a hand on his arm. "Um, can I- uh, speak with you a moment?"

"Huh?" Miles looked from me to the old man, then back. "You gotta tell me something you can't tell Kup?"

"Um, well that's just it. Miles- that's not Kup."

"Oh." I watched as realization dawned slowly. "Oh!" Miles leapt to his feet and stared down at the old man. The old man looked up, smiled a smile full of rotten teeth, and walked away silently. Miles and I exchanged looks.

"I believe he might be a real homeless man."

"Yeah. Smelled enough like one." Miles complained, shoving his hands in his pockets and nodding to Sam as the other boy came jogging over.

"Hey -we need more supplies." Sam said after a second to catch his breath. I turned to watch the Autobots as they continued behind me.

Elita had joined Ratchet and Wheeljack, and seemed to be listening to them with pursed lips. I smiled, knowing them they had tried something, or wanted to try something, and were trying to get her to agree to it. She didn't look as though she was buying it. The twins were now actually washing the car they'd been leaning on, and were doing so with some... unique methods. Arcee and her small group seemed to have finished on their car, and were gathered in a small circle. I noted with a tilt of my head that there was something odd about Arcee and Hotrod as they stood so close. His arm was around her waist and though she made no move to remove it, nor did her face show any sign of agitation, but she had her hip cocked in the opposite direction, clearly intending to put space between her body and his.

"Well, I'm not going. I can't just leave the Autobots here alone. No offense, Inferno, but who knows what kind of trouble they'll cause." Sam was saying.

"Uh, what? Oh, yes. None taken." I smiled as I turned back around.

"Well - I'm not going either. I'm heading up this little charity thing and I need to be here as overseer."

"We won't have anything for you to oversee if we don't get more supplies. The store is like, right there, Miles. Ten minutes."

"We need supplies?" I said, nodding a little. "I can go get them."

"I really don't think that's a good idea." Sam said quickly, but Miles stepped up to him.

"Why not? Inferno's like - one of the sanest ones out of the bunch. No offense man, I know you and Red are like - tight or, whatever."

"Again, none taken."

Miles and I both looked to Sam, and for a moment he looked apalled, but then he sighed and nodded in defeat.

"Alright. I guess you're right. Hard to really mess up anyway." He smiled up at me and took a plastic card from his pants pocket and handed it to me. "Soap, the safe for cars kind. You can ask one of the store clerks. Get sodas too. Enough for all of us." I nodded, smiling back at him. "All you have to do is follow this road, Inferno." He put a hand on my arm and spun me to face the road in question. "You see the traffic lights just up the hill? Take a right. The grocery store will be right in front of you. Go in, get what we need and pay, and come right back."

"Go to the traffic light, and turn right. Soap that's safe for cars and sodas. Ask the clerks." I closed my eyes with a grin and tried to give a reassuring nod. "Easy. I'll be back before you know it!"

I was determined to prove myself capable of functioning in the humans' world, and I'm sure my walk exemplified this. I... well, I strutted. I thought briefly about fetching Red to accompany me, but I figured it would be faster on my own. I had enough sense, even though I hadn't been instructed to do so, to stay on the far right side of the road so as to not be a target for the incoming driver's. As a car sped past I heard something on the wind. I paused, cocked my head to one side - and heard it again. It was a voice. I turned towards it and frowned.

"Tev-tev... He~re kitty!" It was an elderly woman, dressed in a faded pink bathrobe. She was standing in her yard gazing worriedly into a tall tree. She seemed quite distressed. I frowned and detoured from my path to see if I could help.

"Tev-tev... Ki~tty!"

"Ma'am?" I said quietly, folding my hands in front of me as I approached. She looked down from the tree and stared at me for a moment, and I could tell she was trying to get a steady visual on me so I slowed to a stop and smiled happily.

"Oh.. hello there young man." She blinked at me and smiled a little herself. "Can I - help you?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing, ma'am." I took another slow step forward, not wanting to startle the frail woman, and peered up into the tree. "Is there... something wrong?"

"Oh, oh yes." The woman nodded, hopeful anticipation in her voice. "My kitten Tev-tev is stuck up in that tree! He can't get down and the fire department refuses to come help."

I frowned and looked back down at her.

"They do?" She nodded vigorously and moved forward to put two shaking, tiny hands on my arm.

"Oh please, young man, could you get my kitten for me? I'll reward you for your bravery. That kitten is my only friend... my only family left. He means - a lot to me."

I smiled and put one of my hands over her's, nodding.

"Of course I'll get him for you! Stand back now, I don't want to kick dirt on you." I moved her back gently and then began to strategically climb the tree. As I scaled slowly upwards I began to notice that the shorts that I had borrowed from Miles were - well - quite breezy. It was a very pleasant feeling, actually, as I noticed early during my time as a human that the area where my lower panel should have been was rather - confined and hot. It was uncomfortable to say the least. But this breeze was pleasant. I heard the old woman give a soft gasp, followed by what I can only describe as a cooing noise. I tilted my head to look down at her and caught her looking away, fanning herself with a hand. I shrugged and continued upwards.

"Oh. Hello there, kitten." I chuckled as my head popped through a few branches and I came face to face with the kitten. He was hunched over on a small branch and was eyeing me warily. I reached out a hand and offered him a smile.

"I won't hurt you. I'm going to take you back down to the ground." I reached out and pulled the kitten towards my chest. He seemed too frightened to move and curled against me with a soft growling noise.

"Easy, kitten." I attempted a soothing voice as I climbed quickly back down the tree, kitten wrapped tightly in my arms. Hitting the ground I slowly passed the creature to his mother.

"Oh - oh thank you!" The old woman sighed happily, snuggling her face against the kitten. She looked up at me and held up a finger.

"I'm going to take him inside where he belongs. You stay right there young man, I'll be right back."

I nodded, smiling wide as she returned to the house. I wasn't so much looking forward to her promised reward as I was pleased that I had not only proved useful in my human body - but saved a life! Er, essentially. My face felt ready to break open I was smiling so hard as the woman came back out and took my hand.

"Here you are, my hero." She said softly, placing a stack of green in my hand which I quickly identified as currency. She lifted my other hand and closed them around the money.

"I can't accept this, ma'am." I said politely, but she shook her head.

"No, no. You take it and you spend it on something nice for yourself." She paused, then as a rosey color rose to her cheeks she poked me in the mid-section and chuckled to herself. "You're going to make some lucky lady very, very happy."

I blinked at her in confusion as she walked off. I turned back towards the road and paused looking from the traffic lights back to the car wash. I looked down at the currency in my hands - paper currency was called cash, and Mikaela said it was never a good idea to carry cash with you anywhere. I needed to give it to Sam and Miles to hold for me while I got the rest of the supplies. I hoped they would understand my detour.

They were easy to find, and Sam practically ran to my side once he recognized me. He gave me a once over and frowned.

"Uh - where are the supplies?"

"Oh well, I-I hope you don't mind but there was this old woman-" I started, I saw Sam tense up and put a hand to his head. "Her kitten was up a tree and so I got it down for her."

"Wait... Did I hear that correctly?" Miles asked as he walked up to us. "The-the firetruck just rescued some lady's cat from a tree?"

I didn't seem to get the joke, but both Miles and Sam cracked up a little. Sam eventually looked back to.

"Nah, that's ok Inferno. Good for you. Uh - so, why'd you come back then and not just go on to the store?"

"Well, she gave me a reward and Mikaela said one should never carry cash with you."

Miles and Sam exchanged looks.

"How much did she give you?" Miles asked, eyeing me curiously. I produced the bills and deposited them in Miles' hand. I watched as his eyes, and then Sam's, grew so large they threatened to break free of their skulls.

"H-o-l-y...."

"-five thousand dollars, Batman." Miles finished for his friend, shaking his head as he looked up at me. "And she just - gave this to you?"

I nodded.

"Yes. I attempted to give it back but she insisted. Told me to buy something nice and - well, and that I was going to make some woman very happy some day." I shrugged, but once again it appeared there was a joke there that I was not privy to.