Author's Note:
Greetings all. As I said last chapter here is Rule 36 and I hope you enjoy it. Thank you for your continued support of this story and please let me know what you think of this chapter.
I don't own Star Trek or the Doctor Who quotes.
Rule 36-Stop trying to build a 'TARDIS'.
This could have technically been covered by Rule 22 but that didn't stop Scotty and Pavel.
They had uncovered an old show called Doctor Who ages ago and had been hooked on it the moment they saw it. Naturally being two geniuses and always in favour of trying to attempt the seemingly impossible they decided to build a TARDIS. Scotty's first attempt had resulted in the creation of Rule 22 and they had to scrap the time travel aspect afterwards but they could still look at making the rest of the machine.
Of course they had to first work out how to make an object bigger on the inside and that took many failed attempts. Most just exploded meaning they had to return to pages and pages of equations and calculations that would cause most people trying to solve them to have a minor meltdown. They also had to keep coming up with excuses for the bizarre things that could happen when they tested a new idea (the tribble that could devour ten times its own weight of grain in five minutes was a particularly difficult one) to stop anyone from calling a halt to their project. The closest they got was when they managed to make an object bigger on the inside for a couple of seconds. After that the crate they had done this to began to expand rapidly until its sides ruptured and it sort of deflated.
There was one experiment however that really caused a lot of problems.
Scotty and Pavel had been working on this particular machine when they could for a long time. In theory it should have been able to allow the existence of another dimension in a container thus making it bigger on the inside but it didn't quite do that. They had double and tripled checked it and then turned it on to hopefully create the other dimension in a suitable container. Unfortunately it instead blasted a wave of energy across the entire ship with some interesting results.
Jim first noticed what had happened when he left the bridge through the port side door to only re-enter it from the starboard door. This naturally really confused him and the rest of the bridge and they stared at the Captain while he stood there wondering how he did that. He went back out the starboard door to only re-enter again through the port one. He tried to comm engineering to find out what had happened but found that he couldn't get through. Jim and the rest of the bridge spent the next hour trying to exit the bridge (they tried hopping, skipping, walking backwards, skipping backwards, throwing someone through) while Spock observed their attempts.
Elsewhere on the ship things were just as confusing. McCoy found that the medical store cupboard was now connected to the swimming pool, the goose was very confused when it somehow ended up in Jim's quarters, there was now a shortcut from engineering to the kitchens, the botany lab had apparently moved to one of the recreation rooms and Hendorff was very surprised and embarrassed when he stepped out of his quarters and ended up in one of the ladies' bathrooms while it was occupied. Throughout the ship different sections were now connected to other sections which were nowhere near them leading to a lot of chaos.
Scotty and Pavel realised what had happened and frantically set about trying to sort out the mess they had made. It took a lot of time and continuous work on complex equations, several dimensional theories, a major rewiring of the machine and the use of a hastily constructed wormhole generator powered by scotch whiskey (apparently scotch whiskey had the perfect dimensional properties to power a wormhole generator). Eventually they managed to sort everything out and then jettisoned the machine out of an airlock towards the nearest star to hide the evidence of their involvement.
When Jim and Spock questioned them about what happened Scotty and Pavel gave a well thought out and complicated explanation that contained phrases like 'wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey' and 'dimensionally transcendental'. This stopped them from taking the blame since Jim became so confused with their explanation he just gave up questioning them.
Jim added Rule 36 and though everyone knew Pavel and Scotty were responsible there was no real proof so they got away with it.
PS-So there we are and I hope you enjoyed that. Only three rules left and I'm finishing with Rule 40 but let me know which ones out of Rule 30 and Rule 37 you want to see next.