Crimson Fate (R-M)
Chapter 37- Crawling (Linkin Park)
*Trigger Warnings*
Brace yourself for a Bonnie chapter, which may be a Bonnie you're not used to seeing. This was also one of my favorite chapters to write amd I think it addresses important issues. Some of you have to understand, Bonnie is an imperfect character like anyone else in the story, and thats okay. She was always meant to be very human and real. Plz take that into consideration reading this chapter. Thx!
Late that night Bonnie woke up in not realizing where she was. It took a few minutes before she sat up and thought about the last thing she remembered. Crying in her car, over her abandonment issues. Her eyes were still soar and slightly burning and her head was pounding. Luckily she was clean and showered, because she was ready to go home to her bed. Probably with the thoughts that she would miss school to recuperate even though she couldn't afford to miss a day of school.
Bonnie put her hand to her chest and felt the heart beat she couldn't find earlier thumping and pounding harder than ever. That hollowed out feeling the former afternoon, was now filled with a deep drumming. She blinked several times and took deep breaths before she stood up and became quickly dizzy. If she wasn't right near the wall she would've fallen on the floor, but the wall caught her fall. After hearing the noise James quickly came into the room and turned the lights on.
"Sweetie. Hey… what's wrong?"
Bonnie looked up startled and continued to take deep breaths. "Uhh, Nothing. I just want to go home."
"Home? Uhh. No. You can't. It's late and-"
"And what? I'm- I don't feel right. I want to be in my bed. I need my mom. I- I just can't-"
"Sweetie, Listen. Let me take you in the morning-"
"No. I'm just- my heads not here. I need my mom."
"Is that it?" He asked suspiciously, making her defensive.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Bonnie leaned against the wall and focused on his facial expressions while she took low and quiet breaths.
"I mean, you came here distraught. Angry… visibly. Let me take care of you."
"Honestly, I need my momma. I don't feel right and I just want to go home."
"Come on. What are you? Nine? You're mom?" Instead of allowing himself to get angry with her, he took his own deep breath and reproached her. "Umm. Okay. Listen, I am just trying to be there for you. What happened? Talk to me. We haven't been as close this time around as we once were. What can I do? Just… I try to make you happy, and… sometimes you're impossible to reach."
"These things I'm going through, you wouldn't understand. Okay. My life, is far far from yours. We are from different walks. And I don't know that what we have works for me anymore."
"Whoa. Whoa." He walked to her holding both of her shoulders as she felt weakened and out of breath. "Let's not be irrational. Okay. I understand you have personal issues. But don't- take this and just… throw it away. Remember? I can take care of you. What do you want, huh? A new car? I trip, let's go to Mexico, Europe…?"
"Trips, Care, no…"
"I'm just saying. A week after you finish your finals. We can shut our phones off and-"
"Phones? Where's my phone?"
"Bonnie. Listen to me, your phones on the dresser. Hey… you need something? Pain pill?"
"No. Please don't give me anything. Oh… that's right. You gave me some sleeping pills tonight. Didn't you?"
"Yeah. You were clearly exhausted. And you've slept for over ten hours now. Don't you feel better?"
"No. I feel awful. I feel heavy and weighted. Was something in those pills?"
"What pills?"
"The ones you gave me?"
"Sleeping pills. Nothing. You slept. Is that why your mad? The pills?"
"It's not that it's the fact that I don't feel well, and I wanna leave."
"You're Just discombobulated. You're exhausted. I promise I didn't do anything crazy. Except think I could make you happy."
"It's not you James. Okay. I just need some time to think straight. Finish these finals. We can talk later… I can call you after I regain my focus but-"
"Whoa hold on. I think you're dehydrated. You feel low energy because of your lack of hydration." He felt her forehead and looked at the darkness underneath her eyes.
"Maybe."
"That's Definitely it. The pills aren't hurting you unless you're not eating enough or drinking enough. I'll get you some water okay. Sit." She looked at him annoyed but he wasn't giving up. He felt the man who texted her wasn't done and he couldn't let her leave tonight. "I will let you leave once I think you're feeling okay. Right now, you're on the verge of crashing your car. Who would I be if I allowed you to leave here in this state? Come on. Sit. I'll, get you a glass of water." He slowly lay her down on the bed and felt her warm head again. "Cool water okay. You have a slight fever."
Bonnie leaned and waited for her water. She did feel weak and dehydrated. When James left she tried to remember exactly what happened today. So much, from Stefan, to Damon, to Rose. But she couldn't think about it, because her pounding heart wouldn't let her. When he came back in the room five minutes later she drank the contents of the glass, gulping it quickly.
"Atta Girl. I'm sorry you feel awful." He slowly tilted her body back. "Here. Lay back and talk to me. What's wrong? What made you so upset today?"
"I don't want to talk about it. I just need to regain my focus. I am stressed out. I want to focus the final couple months before the Summer. And when it's all said and done I'll talk to you. I will."
"So, Wait? What are you asking for? You breaking up with me again?"
"Just still need time, okay."
"For him?"
"Who?"
"The one who keeps breaking your heart. Over and over." He asked tightening his lips. On a normal day she'd have taken notice but she was too shaken and weak to look too hard. Especially since he never got irritated or angry with her. "Let me ask you this? This person…? You two have sex?"
"Oh God. James that's none of your business."
"No it's not. And I've always given you, your privacy. Respected your boundaries. Even when it comes to this person you keep letting hurt you. I don't ask a million questions. I don't even pry much. But somethings… you've got to give me something? Is he the reason your angry?"
Bonnie stare at him uncomfortably in her weakened state in the bed and and without sounding overly annoyed she answered him. "No."
"I think you're lying. You know that? But I have no choice but to believe you. And, what, you and him… intimate?"
Bonnie paused for about half a minute then answered.
"Not anymore."
"Ouch." He said being knocked into reality. "I'm guessing he's the reason we keep having issues… and you know what. It's okay. I respect you. I- forget I said anything. I feel like a jackass for acting jealous. So, don't worry about me.. Okay. You have your reasons and I respect that. I like that you're not some easy conquest. What we've built is deeper." Bonnie didn't say much. She was slowly growing more tired. "I think if you want to take time a apart it's a mistake. All I want to do is be there for you. The fact that you're pushing me away is not a good feeling." He admitted.
"A few weeks." She whispered, as her eyes fell heavier.
She knows she needed to focus on school and graduate. She needed to spend time with her mother and try to move forward from all that has happened with enough time and space to think more clearly. Even if Damon hurt her she didn't want to feel like James was a rebound. So, she figured giving herself time to clear her mind and refocus would reveal if she would even miss or need James. She needed space to just be Bonnie.
"Okay. A few weeks. I'll Uh… whatever you want, I'll give you." He said acting more confident than he felt.
"Thank you. James. It… means a lot. You have no idea."
"Anything for you."
Because at the end of the day, all he wanted was her, to himself. And if she didn't find her way back, he'd find her, himself.
...
Bonnie lay at home hours after leaving James. She didn't show up at school, and even though Stefan called her, she ignored his calls. Damon called once and she wanted to answer it but didn't have the energy to answer his questions. Her mother walked in her room, concerned.
"Baby, I saw your car outside. Did you miss school today?"
"Yeah. I- wasn't feeling good. How was your trip?"
"It was okay. Nothing big. Just wedding planning." She lied.
"Any interesting venues?"
"Several. I just, I'm not a fancy girl. You know?"
"I know." Bonnie stare at her mother wishing she could tell her everything and come clean. Wanting to expose herself and just start her seventeenth year all over. She desperately wanted to do that and have her mother's comfort and forgiveness, and countless reassurances that everything would be alright. But she couldn't. She would not only be exposing her faults but, Marcel's, Damons's, And anyone else in her life. Today, she just needed to lay it out and cry about it. Like a normal teenage girl. For once, she just wanted to feel like a kid again.
Abby walked to her and sat beside her. Her hand gently feel on her forehead and she sat there feeling with her palm and back side of the hand. "You feel warm. You actually feel hot. Bonnie, you're getting sick?"
"Maybe. The weather is changing I think it's probably my sinuses."
"Yeah. You're eyes are pinkish and swollen."
It was all from this mornings tears and cries. But she wouldn't dare give herself away. In fact the fever is what was saving her right now from her mother's questions. "You sure that's it? You haven't been crying?"
"No. Momma. Just trying to keep from rubbing my eyes but they just itch so much."
"Okay. I'll go make you some herbal tea and grab some eye drops and cold compress for the irritation."
"Okay."
"Would you like some Exedrin or Advil for the pain?"
"Umm." Her debating took her far and wide in a matter of seconds to ponder the great question if she needed the pills for the headache which turned into a migraine or if she could handle it going away on its own. And the truth was it was too bad. She needed the pills because this pain wasn't going away on its own. Besides she figured over the counter meds were not as bad as prescription. "Sure."
"Okay. Lay tight. I'll be back."
"Okay." As Abby kissed her daughter's forehead, Bonnie shut her eyes not realizing that was the best feeling in the world. Her moms love and attention. When Abby got up to walk out, Bonnie called out to her. "Momma!"
Abby turned quickly. "Yes baby?"
"Thanks."
"Of course. What are mom's for?"
"Momma?"
"Yeah."
"I love you." Abby's eats swelled with an inner happiness she couldn't resist holding onto. She walked back to her daughter and kneeled beside her bed holding her cheeks, and smiling emotionally.
"I love you so much. I do. And… I'm so proud of you. I know I don't say it enough but, you are truly the best daughter a mother could ask for."
Bonnie wouldn't allow another tear to drop down her cheek but she smiled, slowly and dimly but enough for Abby to notice. "Thanks momma."
And while it wasn't the most conversational, or inquisitive talk. It was enough at the moment. Something they both needed and no matter how small it seemed. It felt grand in both Abby and Bonnie's hearts. The soft moments didn't happen often between them. But when they did they were quickly reminded of the one thing they shared that no one could come between. An unspoken bond of a mother and daughter. No matter how deep the struggle was, they managed to come back to each other. Because they struggled together.
They didn't always get soft or sentimental, but Bonnie had a soft spot for her mother. The woman who raised her to the best of her abilities. Gave her too much freedom but still instilled the idea that Bonnie should never rely on a man. Her methods may not have been conventional, but it was what Abby knew from the life she lead after fleeing her own home and family as a teenager. When Abby left the room she came back with the pills for Bonnie's headache.
"Hey sweetie, here. Oh and someone came by to see you."
Bonnie looked up. "Hey." The soft voice of a blonde and her precious remorse of what had happened. "Sorry I just stopped by. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
"I'll leave you two alone. And I'll be back with the tea." As Abby walked out, Caroline stood silently.
"Care, you can come in and sit."
"Okay. Wasn't sure if you would tell me to leave."
"No. Actually. I'm glad to see you."
"What's going on?" Caroline slid her thick warm boots off and crawled next to Bonnie's side of the bed and sat near her. "Wow. You don't look well."
"I have a fever, and allergies."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Don't worry I'll be fine." Caroline noticed a slight bit of paleness to Bonnie's skin and how weak she looked.
"So, how are you doing? I know Stefan spoke to you yesterday?"
"Oh. Yup. I'm good. He and I are done. And I want nothing to do with him. Ever again."
"Bon, I know you're hurt. But I think that after some time, we should all sit down and talk."
"No. Caroline. He's lied to me about Lexi. He forced Damon to break up with me. Which I'm not sure it was very hard, since he's back with Rose. He's lied to me about you. He's done a lot of things that I forgive but this time he just went to far meddling in my business. I don't need Stefan trying to get involved with my personal life and rearrange it without my consent. Imagine I'd done that with him and Elena. Or even you?"
"I agree. It was fucked up. I told him he needed to come clean. But Stefan has so much unresolved shit to deal with of his own. I just hate to see you guys fall out over this. Knowing how badly you need each other."
"Caroline, you can't come here and defend him. I won't listen to you." Bonnie said.
"Okay. I'm sorry. It's not my place. I- let's change the subject." She sighed. "So… James? How's that?"
"I don't know. I kind of ended things."
"Really? That's great. I mean I think it's great if that's what you want."
"I don't know what I want. I just want to stop feeling how I feel. Mentally. Physically. Emotionally. I told him I needed time."
"Yeah. What'd he say?"
"He didn't like it too much. But again, he doesn't question me so much. He lets me have space when I need it."
"I just find it strange he is so calm about everything. Seems like a man like him would wonder and doubt your intentions. Not that you've done anything wrong. He's just, seems too good to be true. Except for the coke thing."
"I know what you're thinking and I haven't touched it Care."
"That's good."
"I mean he gave me some-"
"WHAT?"
"He gave it to me. I haven't taken it. But I was tempted. Sometimes. To just take it and numb everything. To make everything Stefan and Damon did go away. To forget about my brother hitting me? Granted it's been months since he's put his hands on me. But I have nightmares. I wake up afraid he's going to rage out again and bust in my room the way he did the first time."
"Bonnie you never told me what happened the first time."
"Because I want to forget Care. I want to scream about it and the magically forget it. He strangled me he- never mind. I can't talk about it. I promised myself I wouldn't."
"Bonnie it all has to come out. You won't get better until you talk about it. Taking that coke to block out your brother's abuse."
"I haven't taken the coke."
"But you did months ago."
"Yeah. Well I'm okay now. I focus on school and work."
"Yeah and you're wearing yourself thin. How can you have all the energy to work and go to school then sleep? It's-"
"The pills. The Adderall helps me focus and concentrate. The Ambien helps me sleep."
"I've definitely taken the Addys but not Ambien. I can't believe your body just excepts it. Maybe it's not helping you."
"It's all that helps. Listen I'm not getting high. I don't even smoke weed. I take the pills when I need them. And that's it. I just want to focus. And I know I don't know what I'm doing but damn I'm trying. I'm just trying to be strong. It's not easy."
"I know hunny. It's not. And this isn't a regular high school. It's a private school. So, we have twice the work and twice the expectations. And you're in all AP classes. So I get it. But- one day you may crash and burn because of you're exhaustion."
"I have it under control."
Caroline didn't believe her. But she needed to talk to Stefan and have Stefan talk to Damon. She just had to be smart dealing with Bonnie because Bonnie immediately shut down when people became too overprotective. "Okay."
"Anyways, hows everything going with your classes?"
"Good. I guess. I'm gonna graduate with two B's on my senior record. And it's because when everything was going on with Tyler I tuned out for a couple months. But I'm back at it and I even started helping Stefan. Not that you wanted to hear that."
"I don't care. But I mean it's great he's accepting your help. He stopped taking mine last year."
"Yeah well. He's already behind. I'm just trying to help him get C's at this point." She laughed.
"And Elena?"
"Haven't seen her in days."
"Really? Me either. But I know her big pageant is coming up."
"Yeah. She doesn't deserve it."
"No. She doesn't. But I already have that worked out."
"Really what?"
"You'll see. I can show you bette than I can tell you."
"Should I be worried?"
"Nah."
(Knock knock)
"Come in."
"Here's your tea. And I brought some cold compress for your eyes."
"Thanks mom."
Caroline looked up at Abby and smiled. "Caroline you know I wouldn't usually do this, but I really think Bonnie needs some rest."
"Oh. Sure. I should go. Just wanted to check on her."
"Thanks Care."
"I appreciate it Caroline. And thank you for looking out for her."
"No problem. Hopefully I'll see you at school tomorrow Bonnie?"
"Yeah maybe."
"Okay." Caroline hugged Bonnie. "Bye babe."
"Bye. And Caroline?"
"Yeah?"
"No more plotting, okay?"
Caroline would nod and agree but she was worried about Bonnie and the only person she thought could get through to her was Damon. "Okay."
As they parted ways, Bonnie felt unease. She knew Caroline felt the difference in her, but with Abby standing there it wouldn't be addressed. Bonnie drank her tea and put the compresses on her pained eyes. Hoping to rest the rest of the day.
….
Abby sat downstairs watching tv while Bonnie rested. When her doorbell rang she didn't bother getting up to answer it. She knew Cade was on his way, so she Hollered out.
"It's open!"
He walked in, in a suit and tie like always but she looked like she wasn't dressed to go anywhere. "Hey… dinner plans?"
"Not tonight. I'm sorry. I- Bonnie needs me."
"Okay. I can order take out and we can eat here. Tell me, what does Bonnie like, I'll get her whatever she wants?"
"She's not hungry. And I'm going to force this homemade broth on her already.. So…"
"Okay. Well what do you want? I can order it."
"I think I'm just going to sit here with Bonnie if you don't mind. She's feeling sick and I need to be here if she calls for me."
"Okay." He was taking hints subtly and calmly. Abby seemed a little worried and annoyed at the same time. "Are we Okay? You and I?"
"Yes. Of course."
"Okay. Because I'd hate to think something was wrong and I didn't realize it."
"No it's fine. I just- I was thinking about my parents. Ya know. My mother and father." She sat in a day dream, eyes pounded into the tv screen probably unaware of what was even on. "They hated my husband. Rightfully so. I hated him sometimes." She laughed uncomfortably. Cade grew quiet listening. "I know they wanted for me to leave him and bring my children to them. Let them grow up that way. I just couldn't. I couldn't be the girl who was wrong. It's probably why I let the Salvatore's put her in private school with Stefan. To make up for what I didn't get from my parents for her. But,. I couldn't go back to my parents, and tell them they were right."
"Why?"
"Because. I was rebellious. And they disowned me when I was pregnant."
"Yet, somehow they begged you to come home."
"Well, the stipulation was only if I left Laz and never contacted him again. They wanted no parts of him. And that included not wanting my children to know their father."
"It's in the past Abigail. You can't focus on it."
"But, my children lost their father, and still to this day I've never taken them back."
"Why?"
"I felt like it would betray my husband. Sure he messed up a lot. He was abusive and took every drug you could think of. But he was my husband. I chose him over my parents. And to go back on that in his death just because he was gone, felt so wrong to me."
"Well, loyalty is important. But you'd have to know at this point both Laz and your parents would've compromised to have Marcello and Bonnie in their lives if he was still alive."
"No. He hated them. They hated him. It was mutual."
"And you, all this concern for their feelings. What do you want?"
"I want to be better. My daughter is just as headstrong as I was. I don't know what I'd do if she left me and never came back. Like I did. My parents and I weren't very close so I didn't know how to be close to her. But I just tried to do the opposite of them. I gave her freedom so she wouldn't feel pushed away. Then I forced her to be so responsible, so she would never rely on a man. I kind of resent my late husband for taking me away from them. But I resent them too, for pushing me away. I've felt alone in this world for so long it just got the best of me. And now, I'm battling this sickness and it's selfish of me to ask my kids to be by my side. That's why I can't tell them. I can't keep being selfish all my life."
"Life isn't always what we expect it. And survival isn't always pretty. All you can do is be there now. It's never too late. Abigail."
"I know. But maybe it's too late for me. I'm being punished. What if I don't make it though this…?"
"You can't think that way." Cade looked down at one of his phones which vibrated. He read a message and then slid it back in his pocket. "The boys got the job done last night. I didn't tell you. And now I have to handle this pay out. I'm sorry love. I know you need me. Let me call them and tell them we can do this tomorrow and you and I can talk-"
"No. Cade go." She crowned through her calmness. "I'm good. I'm just thinking and I'll be awful company. I'd rather just sit here til Bonnie calls me again."
"You sure. You look like you need a shoulder-"
"No. I'm fine. Go. I'm okay." She stood up and hugged him. Then as they finished their goodbyes, she walked him out. "Bye. See you tomorrow."
"Okay darling." He kisses her cheek and walked away only to be met by a rookie cop next door. "Evening neighbor." He nodded his head and smiled. Kai didn't retort, about him not being his neighbor. He actually didn't say anything to the man. He nodded and gave a look at Abby.
"Evening Mrs. Bennett."
"Mr. Parker."
He then walked into his house with no other words or questions. His door shut and his porch light went off and Cade smiled again. "Til tomorrow Abigail."
She waived him off and immediately went in her own house. Shutting off the porch light. No more disturbances this night. It would be just her and Bonnie.
...
The next day Bonnie stayed home from school again. Caroline called her several times and no answer. She knew she needed to talk to Damon and since she had to help Stefan with his homework, she figured it was the best time to.
"Stefan, you can't just assume the test answers will be C if you're confused."
"It's multiple choice. How hard is multiple choice?" He asked furrowing his brow, forcing her to raise hers.
"You can't be serious, can you?"
"What?"
"You are barely graduating. In fact, the only way to get your diploma is doing summer school. So, you're not walking with us. But if you let me help you Ace this test, you only have to retake PE. Which I can't understand how you failed."
"Sophomore year. I was gone, because my dad and my brother were gone on business. I had to actually help take care of my sick mother."
"And while I commend you, for that... it doesn't pass your classes. You end up taking other failed classes in you're elective spots junior and senior year, and never thinking to retake PE."
"Listen, I can't do this in a matter of a few weeks Caroline. I'm a fuck up. Like my brother." He threw his pencil.
"Neither of you are fuck ups. You're both just... guys who had a different up bringing."
"Yeah, well... I knew what I was getting myself into."
"And you didn't have a choice, so, cut yourself some slack." She said softly.
"Why do you care, Caroline? You have you're own finals and projects to finish. Why are you worried about mine?"
"Because, I care about your future."
"You sound like B. She used to let me copy her homework, and then yell at me, when I didn't try to learn. I asked her why she cared. And she always said what you said." He looked down at his hands, and clapped his fingers together. "I don't know, school, was never a big deal in my family. I mean my parents wanted us to do well, which is why they did it different with me and put me in this private school, it was kind of a cover but also, a chance for me. But we were so embedded in this shit, that as a family, we worked with my dad, since childhood. More so, Damon. He never had a chance to do or be better. My dad relied on him a lot. He didn't have a chance to be anybody else. Especially when he started fighting. My dad, used to make so much money on my brother's fights."
"Fights?"
"Yeah. Started out with cage fights. But my brother was so much better at his stand up game, he focused on boxing. My dad managed him for a couple years, then... the club found out and started sponsoring him, making more money. It became too much for him. And he stopped."
"Did he like fighting?"
"He loved it. I honestly believe, my brother could've been a boxer, professionally. I mean his fights were still professional but, different."
"Wow. And you? What do you love?"
"Me?" He smiled. "Cars. My brother and I both love cars, but, I like fixing them. Building them. Restoring them. I love cars. I get that from my pops."
Caroline put her books down and crawled next to him on the floor of his room. "That's kind of sexy."
"What? Cars?"
"Well, no. I mean, yeah. Well, no, I mean the fact that you love cars, and fixing and restoring them. It's nice to know you love something outside of the club. It makes me see the other side of you. The Stefan side."
"I can actually make spaghetti too. Did I tell you?"
"Yeah, I think we scratched that surface on the first night we spent together." She said pushing his books out of his lap, and crawling over him. "It was really tasty." Her lips grabbed his in a tight grip and pulled at his bottom lip, before she inserted her tongue and kissed him. "Very tasty." She repeated, kissing him again.
"I can make garlic bread too. And... oh shit, you should try my grilled cheese."
"Ooh, is it gooey?" She whispered into his ear before she kissed behind it.
"It's like... fuuuuuck. It's ummm..."
"Gooey, melty...?"
"Yeah. Something like that." She started unbuckling his pants, and lifting her skirt.
"Are you hard?"
"Kind of question is that?"
"Ooooh." She smiled, feeling him pressed against her. "Put it in." She raised up allowing him the space to accommodate him, before she slid back down, slowly. "Ooh, yeah. Damn baby." She moved like a pro, while he sat there.
"Am I ever going to get to fuck you. I mean, since you discovered this..." she squeezed while he spoke, and continued moving magically... "fuck... this position, you rarely give me a chance to be on top."
"Sorry. You made me love it."
"I'm not complaining." He gripped her hips, while she continued to work everything she had on everything he had. "I'm so glad I don't live with my parents."
"Me too."
….
It had been a couple days. Bonnie wasn't answering Damon's calls, and he didn't leave voicemails. Nor did he text much except, call me, or we need to talk, or tick tock. Stefan related a message from Caroline about Bonnie not seeming well, or looking it. It sounded familiar to him and he needed to see her as soon as possible me to see for himself. At this point, anything regarding James James was on the back burner. Bonnie was the priority and she would be too defensive about James right now. He needed to keep her defenseless and vulnerable if he could manage to get her there.
She finally messaged back, and her reply was simple.
Baby: What's up?
555-986-8774: You get my texts from the other day?
Baby: No
555-986-8774: Go read them. We need to talk
Baby: about?
555-986-8774: you came by, and left. What happened?
Baby: made a mistake
555-986-8774: let's meet again
Baby: I really can't.
555-986-8774: why?
Baby: I need to study
555-986-8774: bring your books
Baby: geez. Listen I came by, and it was a mistake I know that now
55-986-8774: it wasn't. I promise you. What can it hurt to come to my place?
Baby: you will ask me questions I can't answer
555-986-8774: I won't ask any questions. Let me just see you
Baby: I moved on, and... it's better this way
555-986-8774: for who?
Baby: everyone
555-986-8774: I just want to see you
555-986-8774: we don't have to say one word to each other. Just, sit, or sleep, or...
Baby: fine, but we can't be alone, because I don't trust you
555-986-8774: okay, come over Rip and Blondie will be here.
Baby: that's a whole mess, I don't want to see him. AT ALL.
555-986-8774: I'll make him keep his ass in his room. It's all I can give you
Bonnie rolled her eyes and was angry, because she just wanted to have normal or be normal. She looked at her phone debating to answer.
Baby: fine
Damon sat his phone down and leaned back on the couch. He rarely sat in the living room of the apartment. He looked at the ring in his hand, twirling it between his fingers. The promise ring he gave her, that she basically threw back at him after he broke her heart with his cold words. Everyday he looks back at that moment and hates himself. But, he's protecting her. Right?
He's been questioning himself about that decision since that day. The optimal idea was to protect her, but either way it goes, he was hurting and protecting her. It almost felt like a double edged sword, and he couldn't make the right choice either way.
One thing was for sure, he couldn't keep his distance from her for too long. She was his Achilles heel.
The small white gold band, with the single pink diamond. Not expensive, in anyway of the word by James standards, but expensive enough. Just simple, and pretty, and it reminded him of her.
As he twirled it, his brother walked out, and looked at him. They still weren't talking. But they coexisted, peacefully for now, and Damon gave Stefan until the end of the school year in his place before he had to get out. When Stefan walked past his brother, he went to get a beer, for himself and a Dr. Pepper for Caroline.
"So, what did Blondie say again?"
"Bout B?"
"Yeah?" Damon said annoyed. He still wasn't in a good place with his brother. He, in fact, was still waiting for him to find a place so he could move out before the Summer.
"She was in bed sick. She'd been taking some pills to sleep and to stay focussed. But she looked pale."
"Okay. I just spoke to her, and…" Damon glanced at Stefan's hands. "You're not drinking that."
"Fuckin kidding? I'm eighteen now."
"In my fuckin house, on a fuckin school night, I don't think so." Damon gave Stefan the look of absolute and Stefan couldn't believe it. He walked the beer back in the kitchen and came out with a second Dr. Pepper. Then went back in the room with Caroline and shut the door making Damon forget to mention Bonnie was on her way.
Damon was so appalled at his brother's audacity, but went back to twirling the ring between his fingers, waiting for her.
...
Bonnie stood inside of Damon's apartment, with sunglasses on. She mistakingly left her pills at James place a couple days ago. But she was too ill to drive back for them. And in this moment, she wishes more than ever she had something to make her ready to take on Damon's personality. Because she couldn't go toe to toe tonight. Not to mention, she concealed her guilt with the extra makeup. He noticed right away she wore heavier foundation than normal. He didn't mention it or ask, as per his promise. He walked backwards giving her space. He had yet to mention her to Caroline or Stefan. So, when she heard Caroline giggling she turned looking towards the room.
She then turned towards the door to leave, remembering how she had yet to ever see them together, and how much it made her uncomfortable. The two of them walked out of the room, and noticed her, feeling their own nerves and shock. "Bonnie?" Caroline gasped.
She stopped and paused her motion to leave. Stefan didn't say anything. But Damon noticed how he quickly dropped Caroline's hand when he saw Bonnie. "Hey, what are you doing here?" Caroline asked again.
"Uhh, I don't know. It was a mistake." She said quietly.
"Please don't go. We haven't seen you much lately. Your mom asked me to bring your school work to your house. But you were, asleep." Caroline tried walking towards her. But Bonnie turned the knob more, and Damon remained quiet, biting his tongue, as per his promise. He caught himself often between not upsetting her and also protecting her. So he either did what she asked, or he ended up bombarding her space, and forcing himself in to protect her. He had no middle with her. He cared too much about her to have a middle.
"Don't, please. I have a headache." Bonnie warned when she heard Caroline walking behind her.
"Bonnie I can give you something."
"I shouldn't take anything, honestly."
"Why?"
"I don't know." She whined, almost in pain. "My body rejected the pills my mom gave me for my headaches.'I don't know why." Damon shook his head worried but cautious of her behavior. Caroline contended Bonnie's plight again.
"Bon, let me help."
"No, I don't feel well, I'm in pain, and I got sick. Like violently ill." She clutched her stomach, and felt her water in the pain of her twisting stomach as her stomach acid burned on the way up her throat. The thought of pills made her feel violently ill. She put her hands over her mouth wanting to vomit, hearing it.
"Okay, okay. I won't. How long have you been here?"
"Less than a minute."
Caroline, finally made it to Bonnie after an agonizingly slow walk. She wrapped her arms around Bonnie from behind and hugged her. "Babe, don't leave okay. Whatever it is, let's just, work it out. I know you know about Stefan and I now. And we know about you and Damon. Let's just, start from there." Caroline said hugging her, and holding her.
"There is no me and Damon. There's me and you. There is no me and Stefan. Just me and you. I came here to see if I could handle it and I can't. I should go." As Caroline held her she turned to see Damon with his face buried in his hands. He looked like he was concealing emotions, and Stefan stood sullenly, trying to figure out where he could fit into the puzzle, as Bonnie just wrote him and his brother off. They grew up with her, the closest thing to family she had. But they both, messed up.
"You came for a reason. Let me get you some water, and something to eat." Caroline squeezed tighter as Bonnie clutched the door knob harder. "Please." She slid her hand on top of Bonnie's shivering hand and helped ease her hand off the knob. She looked at the two brothers and asked, "Can we get a minute."
Both men stood a minute not wanting to leave at all, but forcibly walking away. Caroline turned Bonnie towards her and Bonnie started to shake. Caroline looked at Bonnie's hand. "It's just… Stress." Bonnie said.
"This isn't normal Bon. You understand? Stefan mentioned this, and when I called, you said you were fine."
"I'm going to be fine. And you know what… fuck Stefan!"
"Okay. Fuck him." Caroline agreed. "But, it doesn't change that he and I are worried about you."
"You don't need to be I'm fine. I just, need to focus. I left my pills at James place. And I've been too sick to go get them. But- I think now that I'm okay to drive I can get past the motion sickness and just go back. Once I get my pills I'll be fine-"
"Does James know you left your pills there?"
"No."
"Does he know you're sick."
"Why would I tell him? He'll take me to his sister and I'm not interested in being looked at by a doctor or nurse."
"Well, let me take you-"
"No. Caroline, I'm here and I told him," referring to Damon, "that I wasn't going to answer questions. Me being here is a step okay. Please don't push it."
"Okay. I won't. But, if you want me to not care or be concerned, please stay the night. Let us keep an eye on you. I mean, I was headed home, but, I'll stay if you do."
Bonnie sighed deeply and heavily, almost as if it was out of the question. "Hell no. I have to study. I missed two days of school. I'm going to need to get home. My books, and my pills. I have to go to Belmont and get them, while James is gone."
"I'll take you."
"No."
"Why? What if he's there? Surely you're not ready to-"
"Caroline. I don't think you get it. I can't be here… with them. I have to focus on school. That's why I ended things with James. I need to focus. School is all I can think about. Government is kicking my ass. I don't know if I'm gonna get this fucking A- I've been racking my brain for two days and it's just gonna be a B. It's gonna drop my average, and I can't let it happen." Bonnie was extremely defensive and on edge, as her hands shook more.
"I know. Believe me. I am in the same situation. How about we study together. Listen. I need you and I know you need me. We always tidy well together."
"Yeah. When we smoke weed. I can't smoke. I need my pills. That's what helps me focus and stay awake."
"I'll make us some coffee."
"Damon doesn't have a coffee pot."
"I'll go buy some and bring it back. Bon- we just want to see you. We miss you. All of us." Caroline fought her hardest. She knew Bonnie needed Damon right now. And not on a romantic way. But in a hard love, protective, take care of her sort of way.
"I don't know. It's not a good idea, really. I should go. I don't have my work stuff, and I have work after school tomorrow my books and homework.." She hugged Caroline, and smiled. "This was definitely a step okay. I'll be better prepared another day.I'll see you at school tomorrow."
"Bon, please?" Caroline was struggling against headstrong Bonnie who felt the the protective vines from a mile away.
"Care, I'm okay. Promise. I'm sick. But, as soon as I get my pills, I'll be fine." Bonnie turned and walked towards the door, before Damon ran out of the back and grabbed her, making her jump.
"Don't leave. Please. Don't leave." He tried wrapping his arms around her.
"I have to. Let me go... I have to go-"
"No, you don't. Just stay the night. Please. Let me help you."
"Help me? Stop. I'm fine. I don't need help. What's wrong with you guys? I just want to study! Why is that so hard to understand?"
"No, you're not fine. And I know you Baby girl. That sassy, mouthy, woman who had the brightest fucking smile in the world, isn't the same." Hearing that angered her, she tried fighting herself out of his hug. She pushed him away from her and he realized he'd said too much. "Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I won't ask anything. I promise, I won't. But I'm not letting you leave. Now, I'm giving you your way. No questions asked of you. Now, give me my way, at least a little."
Caroline put her back against the door, so Bonnie wouldn't leave. Bonnie turned to Caroline, questionably.
"Care! Don't do this!" Bonnie asked with shaking hands.
"Bon, stay. Okay. Just stay." Then she saw Stefan walk out of the back. They all looked at her.
"B, we won't ask questions." Stefan said. "Just stay. One night."
"Fuck you. You stay away from me." He backed a few more feet further back, almost out of the room.
She looked around at three faces. It was clear she wasn't leaving. She wasn't going to exhaust too much energy fighting, or arguing. Because she didn't have any. "Fine. I'll stay." She spoke calmly, in a low hoarse voice, while a couple tears streamed down the right side of her face. "I'll stay." She wiped her cheek and cracked a dim, forced grin. "But, suddenly, I'm exhausted. I just want to rest."
Damon backed away, and sighed. "Okay. I'll uhh- get my bed ready. I can sleep on the floor or on the couch."
"Okay." Her low voice cracked to keep from crying.
"You hungry?" Caroline asked.
"No."
"Stefan can you grab the water please?" Caroline asked.
"Yeah."
"You want to shower?" She looked at Damon as he asked.
"I already showered. I'm just exhausted. My head hurts."
"Some ibuprofen, should help." Caroline offered.
"No, it nauseates me. The pain pills my momma gave me turned my stomach."
"Okay."
"I should walk out to my car, and get my bag. I have a hygiene bag out there."
"Give me your keys I'll get it." Damon said.
"No. I should also make sure I take out anything valuable."
"Fine. I'll walk with you." Damon said. He walked to the door, and opened it. "Let's go quickly. So you can get some rest."
"You don't have to walk me out. Please. Give me some space."
"Yeah... I do. It's late. You know I told you things are crazy right now. Anybody could be watching me, or Stefan. So, put my hoodie on, so no one sees your face." He stood by the door and waited for her to agree. Stefan went and grabbed a hoodie for her. She was a little frustrated with him for it. But she needed to keep peaceful and avoid any more questions of her suspicious behavior.
"Okay."
When they walked outside and grabbed her things, neither realized they were being watched. He headed out and took about five minutes to get her things. She ruffled around her trunk for a minute, looking for her small stash James gave her weeks ago. She was in desperate need of something, but, not that. He was watching her like a hawk. And even though she hadn't taken the coke in months, she knew he'd think she did if he saw it. She took it out of her bag to leave it in her trunk. "Let me help you." He asked, knowing he needed a reason to rummage through her things.
"No. I'm fine. I got it."
"You can talk to me, Baby girl. You don't have to be secretive."
"Don't call me that."
"Sorry."
"It's okay. I'm done anyways."
"Okay, let me carry your stuff."
"No." She said defensively. "I got it."
He rolled his eyes. When she realized he was going to be on her like glue on anything, she dropped her stash back in her car. She couldn't do it. She stopped for months already. She just had to deal with the whole gang tonight until she fell asleep. And even though she consciously made the effort to stay away from coke on her own, it wouldn't work in her favor. Thinking she dropped it in her trunk, to avoid his questions, they both heard the sound hit the ground. She paused nervously, watching him, watch her. "What was that?"
"Nothing. I dropped something, let me grab it." She leaned over to pick it up, and he grabbed it from her hand.
"What the fuck? I knew it. I fuckin knew it." He said looking at it.
"Give it back, it's not what you think." She reached for it, and he yanked his arm back. "Please, give it to me!" She said losing her temper.
"Not what I think? Your using this shit again. Damn!"
"I'm not using it. It's just in my bag it's not a big deal."
"Not a big deal? Baby girl, it's in your car. You can get pulled over and taken to jail. You got over an ounce on you. Don't give me that shit."
"Damon, give, it back!" She yelled.
"No. I won't and I swear to God, I'll tell your mom and your brother."
"Fuck you. You know. Fuck you." She whined. She didn't even have the strength to yell. "You can't tell them, because it's not what you think. I haven't used it in months."
"Conveniently lying to protect your ass, right now."
"I swear to God. I haven't done it in months. I'm trying to leave this hell hole. And not in a cop car. You know I stopped before it got out of hand. Why would I go back?"
"I don't know. You tell me! Why would you be stupid enough to have it in your car?"
"I don't know. An Emergancy."
"Emergancy?"
"I get tired, ya know. And I have to work and make money and still have good enough grades to get a free ride, in order to leave."
"You don't need it."
"I haven't used it. I told you."
"Really? Why should I believe you?"
"Unlike you, I work, real jobs. I have to show up on other people's schedules and stay and earn money. And I have to study. So, if I'm ever desperate enough, it's there. But- not that I owe you any explanation. I haven't taken it!"
"You're complaining about being tired. You were gonna bring this shit in my house, and use it, and guess what? I'm not going to let you."
"I wasn't taking it in your house. That's where you're wrong. I'm not that stupid. You can't control me. I'm leaving, and going home. I'm done. I tried to do this tonight, and its not working. I don't wanna be here."
"Then what, you gonna leave, so you can use it? What do you want me to tell your friends? That you couldn't stay because your addicted to that shit?"
"I'm not addicted to this. Why don't you believe me? I haven't used it."
"No just a substitute then, right? The pills? Or is it both?"
"Fuck you.. I'm just trying to get through the school year. I haven't tried coke since January. The last time you did it and I did it. Almost five months ago. And the pills… totally different. They aren't what you think. They help me focus. And study. They are not street drugs. They are prescription." She tried lightening her tone, and reaching for the coke to put it back in her car.
"It's okay baby girl. You don't need it." She watched him open the contents and pour it out right in front of her. She looked at him with extreme annoyance, and shut her eyes to keep from reacting when he stare back at her.
"Fuck you." She whispered.
He closed her car trunk, and walked to her. "I'm not gonna let you do that shit."
"I don't do it."
"Then you won't miss it."
"Fine pour it out. It's been in my bag for weeks. Haven't touched it. I was proving to myself that I didn't need it. So, you've proved nothing to me. I already proved it to myself."
He watched as her hands shook and she tried to cover it. "If you don't need it, prove it." She shook her head, wanting to leave more than she wanted to stay. But her stubborn will wouldn't let her, until she proved him wrong. "If you're not addicted to it, stay here and prove it." If only he knew the coke was a gateway for Bonnie. It wasn't what she craved or wanted. The combination of pills she'd become dependent on was how Bonnie managed better than any 45 minute coke high. Those pills lasted hours. Made her work hard like the energizer bunny for hours upon hours then the other pills made her sleep for hours to regain energy. Bonnie's reliance on her pills was far stronger than her reliance on anything. Including him.
"You should understand, clearly, that I can do this. That shit you three out, means nothing to me. And, when it's all said and done, you and I are done, for good. I don't wanna see you ever again! Never!"
He swallowed his need to clap back at her, and lowered his head, before looking back at her. "If that is what you want, Baby girl." She rolled her eyes.
"It is."
"Fine, let's go." He waited for her to walk passed him, and he followed her back to the apartment. Stefan and Caroline were waiting with the water. She grabbed it, and drank it like she was dehydrated. They both looked on uncomfortably. When she was done, she looked at them both.
"Good night."
"Good night."
What a new dynamic for the four of them, to be under one roof, knowingly. Bonnie headed to the room and Damon poured another glass of water. "We are going to need this." He said, walking past them, after her. She got ready for bed, and he gave her privacy. "You prefer me in the living room?"
"I don't care about you, or what you do."
"Just trying to keep you comfortable."
"Do what you want."
"I want to get in that bed with you."
"Well, you can't. So-"
"Right." He smiled cynically at himself. She headed to the bathroom to change, and before she came back out, he got his bed ready. He pulled the cover back and turned the lights out. When she walked back outside of the bathroom, he directed her to the bed in the very slight light they had. She wore a tank top and shorts, and it wasn't hard to keep his hands off of her, because in these moments he only cared about her well being. He helped her lay down, and then covered her with the blankets. She lay a while unable to sleep.
"I can't sleep because your just sitting there staring at me."
"Just making sure you're okay."
"I'm fine!"
"Well, for the moment you say that. But... You know… withdrawals can be a real bitch."
"I'm not going to withdrawal. Okay. Don't be paranoid."
"It's fine. I'm going to sit here til you fall asleep. Then I'll go to the couch so you can have privacy."
"Fine." She begrudgingly agreed. She turned the other way, and he sat there until she was laying quietly, pretending to be asleep. After a while, he got up and headed to the couch. It had been a long day and he was exhausted. He finally laid out on the couch in his room. But Bonnie wasn't satisfied with him getting his way.
"You know if you want to push me away completely, it's working."
"What do you mean?"
"Keeping me here. I don't want to be here. At all. And if you don't let me go, I'm going to call James and have him pick me up."
"Do what you want. I'm not letting you leave. Call James. Call your momma. Call the cops. Call your brother. I don't give a fuck. But your ass is staying put. And you're gonna need me." Bonnie's lips tightened in annoyance. "Trust and believe."
About two hours later, Bonnie woke up, to use the bathroom. When she realized everyone was asleep, she slowly got herself dressed, and ready to head out of the apartment. She drank the entire of contents of water next to the bed, and grabbed her bag and her shoes. She didn't even bother putting a jacket on. When she headed towards the door, she reached for the knob and turned quietly. The moment she got it opened the living room light came on, and she stopped in her tracks to see him standing there. "Going somewhere?"
She turned to him, and smiled. "I couldn't sleep. I think I need my bed."
"That's a lie." He laughed, walking towards her, grabbing her bag and closing the door, then locking it. If anybody could read Bonnie, Damon could read her. And she'd felt it all night, him looking and searching deeper, even when she wanted to appear hollowed out. He rolled his eyes at the fact that she wore her sunglasses. "Turn around and get back in the bed."
She had no choice but to listen. He wasn't letting her leave, and she didn't need to make a fuss with the other two there. She walked back to the bedroom, and got back in bed, turning away from him. He remained in the room and locked it. He sat there and watched her. Quietly.
They both were quiet a while, until Bonnie's body went into a shivering fit. She started to cry, because the pain was so sharp she couldn't handle it. "Oh God." She screamed. Her hands were shaking and she couldn't control it. Damon jumped up grabbing her, realizing she was starting to kick her habit. Her head was sweating, her hair was wet, dripping with sweat, but she wasn't complaining of being hot. "It's cold. It's so fucking cold." She screamed.
"Relax baby, relax okay." He wrapped his arms around her trying to keep her warm, but he knew it was just the beginning. He used his hands to hold her shakey hands, and it was an unreal feeling the way she shook, and how hard her muscles worked against her. "I got you baby girl. Listen to me." He whispered. "Listen to my voice. Breathe." Controlling her body was harder than it looked.
"Hey, everything okay? Bonnie okay?" Caroline and Stefan ran to the door, knocking, after hearing her scream from the hallway.
"Bring me some water please." Damon yelled.
"I'm cold. Please... it's freezing cold." She cried.
"It's not cold baby. It's warm. The heater is on. You're sweating like crazy."
"Oh god." She screamed. "It hurts. Make it stop, make it stoooooop." Her screams turned to low guttural moans as the pain penetrated her bones. "Oh god. Pleeeease." She yelled. Stefan and Caroline came back in the room with water after Stefan used the skeleton key to unlock the door.
"She won't need it yet. She'll need it soon though."
"Soon?"
"Yeah." He answered, and turned to Bonnie who could barely keep her eyes open she was cringing in pain, holding her stomach. "Baby, stop fighting it. It's gonna happen?"
"Make it stop."
"I can't, you have to let your body deal with it. But I'm here okay. I got you. Try your hardest to relax. I'm here, and I won't let nothing happen to you." Caroline wanted to cry but tried to fight the tears, because she knew it wasn't about her. She looked at Stefan who hugged her. Bonnie was calming down, and things seemed to be better for a few moments. Bonnie try to relax and breathe as Damon instructed. For moments she let him near her. He was calming her and trying to ease her body into something that had a mind of its own. For those small moments, they were working together, as Bonnie allowed, when suddenly she wasn't anymore. She pushed Damon off of her.
"Get away from me!" She screamed. He fell off the bed and she sat up quickly, heading to run out, but Stefan grabbed her wrapping his arms around her. "Let me go. Let me fucking go!" She pushed at his body, until Damon got up and grabbed her. Everything went from quiet, peaceful Bonnie, to wild and crazy Bonnie. And it didn't help that Damon had taught her some basic fighting skills. She head butted Stefan, making his nose bleed from behind her, then she swung at Damon, she missed, and he grabbed her.
"Caroline go grab a towel." Damon yelled.
"A towel?"
"Yeah."
"Fuck you. Get off of me!" Bonnie yelled.
"No! You can push and push all you want, but let me tell you, I taught you everything you know, so, you can't beat me. I'm not leaving you, or letting you run away from me."
"Why? Why won't you just let me fucking go? I hate you. I hate you so much."
"I know you do. But it won't stop me from taking care of you."
Bonnie fought her hardest to get out of his grip, and he squeezed. She remembered how hard he squeezed. She remembered what he taught her, about not fighting against it, because she'd just get tired. But in his state of mind, with her kicking the habit, she wasn't thinking clearly. She fought and fought, him tiring herself out. "I can't breath. I can't breathe, let me go."
"He's hurting her."
"No he's not. Her body is fighting the withdrawals. Trust me, if he wanted to be rough he would, he's being as gentle as he can be, considering how strong she is right now." Stefan said coming to his brothers defense.
"Oh my God. Oh my God." Bonnie sighed, in deep breathes as she was losing her battle to him. Her body began relaxing into his. Caroline was still holding the towel, and Bonnie was descending, trying to hold herself together. She looked at Caroline and realized she had really lost sight of who she was, and she started to cry. She came there cold-hearted and quiet, but became irate and angry, and now her emotions were taking over. "Oh God, what's wrong with me?" She cried. "What the fuck is wrong with me? What have I done?" She screamed and cried.
"Don't think too much baby. Just let your body deal with this, wrapping your brain around it won't help." He held her gently now. His arms wrapped around her, in a looser grip now, and she hunched over and clutched his forearm crying. He sat there a few minutes, pushing her hair out of her face, and Caroline walked out of the room catching herself, and crying into her palms. She'd never seen Bonnie be the one out of control. And seeing it broke her heart. Stefan walked out behind her and hugged her.
"She'll be fine. I promise. Okay? Trust me. She needed this."
"I know, but, gosh, this isn't Bonnie. Bonnie has it all together. I mean, I hate seeing her in pain. She never really shows that she has pain. She blocks everything out."
"Yeah, but, it isn't going to work for her anymore, because she was concealing her feelings in the drugs. But, we have to make sure, B stays away from that shit. For good. All of us."
"Yeah."
That's when they both heard Damon catch her body as she collapsed into his arms. "I got you Baby. Relax, don't fight it. I got you." He picked her up and rush her to the bathroom. Her body shook harder and Damon removed her shirt. They ran in the room and her shirt was off her body, she was half naked, and hunched over the toilet, losing all of her insides. She was moaning in pain all the while, as Damon held her hair. All that could be heard was her crying in pain for about twenty minutes. Damon sat there in the bathroom while Bonnie moaned and cried in pain. "It's okay, baby. I got you." He held her hair and rubbed her back. He could feel the chills in the form of tiny bumps all over her body. She heaved, over and over. Until her heaves turned to dry coughs. Tears fell down her face and into the toilet bowl, while she vomited.
Stefan fell to the floor of his hallway back against the wall and cried. He couldn't help it. Seeing her like this broke him. Took him back to Bonnie when her father was killed. She was in so much pain, that she let it out while she couldn't control it. He heard her cries from the bathroom and remembered all they'd been through together. All she'd been through and how much he hated seeing her in pain. Caroline sat next to him and they cried together trying to keep the tears from Bonnie.
All the while Damon was comforting and helping her through it. Being soft and protective. Something he'd never been able to be with anyone accept her.
After a while, Damon helped her up, and she rinsed her mouth out and brushed her teeth. Damon carried her to his bed and lay her back down. Her body was exhausted and almost out of fight for now. She lost all her energy. She lay down and fell asleep immediately.
Damon walked out of the room and towards the other two. Who sat on the couch worried. "Hey, this is just the beginning. It'll take a good week for her body to detox. And in that week she'll go through, bouts of being pissed, to being emotional, and even closed off. This week is critical, to her sobriety. Because she can lose control again and if she gets her hands on anything, shes gonna relapse. Because, for her body and her brain, it's easier to take it again, then go through this shit. So, we need to keep her here, and help her kick this shit. And be patient with her, but not take any shit from her either. Because, an addict will say and do whatever to get under our skin."
"She's an addict?"
"Listen there's levels to this shit. And while she's not strung out of her mind, her body accepted this form of therapy. It's what her brain tells her, makes all the stress go away, and all the pain. So, she developed an addiction to it. And I honestly believe, that her boyfriend, doesn't realize how often she does it. But we need to keep her away from him, because he's her gateway."
"How can we just keep her away from him? If she's addicted to this, and he's her supplier, she'll feel an overwhelming sense of loyalty to him, because he's the candy man to her." Stefan asked.
"She broke up with him." Caroline admitted. Damon was shocked to hear it. Maybe it was two different people. Maybe West And James weren't the same person.
"Well, now, that we've seen how much her body needs it, she may be giving him a call again. So, we can't let her."
"How can we stop her?"
"It'll be hard, but we have to try to do this together." Stefan said.
"What about Abby?"
"I'll tell her, if you guys think I should. But it opens the flood gates about everything else. James, Me, her job, all of it."
"No. Don't tell Abby. She'll just have Marcel watch her." Caroline said.
"So, he's her brother. Maybe she needs that." Stefan said.
"No, trust me. Bonnie... is afraid of Marcel okay."
"Why?" Damon asked.
"Because, he has a bad temper. And his method of protecting her, is a bigger stress than anything. It'll drive her further to the pills.. Besides, we take her back to Abby's, Abby's can't very well stay with her, when she working. And she can't keep an eye on Bonnie, throughout the day. We know what's going on, we need to keep an eye on her, between the three of us."
"I'm not convinced I shouldn't tell Abby." Stefan said.
"Stefan, don't overstep. She already hates you." Caroline said.
"We'll talk about it more tomorrow. Tonight we all need to sleep. I need to keep an eye on her. I'll see you guys in the morning." Damon headed back to the room. "Stefan and Damon has to put their differences aside for Bonnie and work together.
Damon watched her for a while, until she started shivering again. He could tell she was shivering, even with the cover on. He crawled in the bed behind her on top of the covers and wrapped his arms around her shivering body. He could hear her crying quietly, trying to keep it from him. He squeezed tighter, not saying a word. He held her body until the morning, warming her in his protective way. She didn't fight him. She eventually, relaxed into his grasp, and cried herself to sleep, fighting through all of the pain she was trying to hide from him. At the end of the day, his arms were her shield. No matter how much she ran.
Some of you may wonder why James wasn't addressed this chapter, it's because at this point Damon has to be careful how he deals with James and handles Bonnie. But, it's coming. And to clarify, Bonnie wasn't addicted to "coke" she's become a pill popper trying to numb the emotional pain, focus, and basically, feel nothing and just work work work. And I wanted the PILL addiction to be prevelant because its such a serious and real ISSUE. Pills, unlike Coke, lasts hours and hours. A coke high is relatively short. And Bonnie's body is starting to feel an issue that her brain doesn't want to face. The pills can lasts hours, tricking your brain into feeling an overwhelming sense of power and its honestly so easy to fall victim to. Even though she broke up with James she's still got to face everything when her brain comes to terms with the pills absense. Face everything! Including Damon. Me personally I'm not writing this to come off as a team Bonnie vs team Damon type story. They are never really against each other, they're always on the same side. Even when they don't seem like it. The odds are against them. It's something they have to overcome together or not at all. Thanks for reading.