Bolster

2017

"You really haven't done this before?"

"Marvin was the first baby I ever held, you were in Italy when Daisy was tiny, and Ted and Tracy aren't as bothered about making me hold babies as you are. Plus they were kind of weird about who was holding Penny when she was just born,"

"This is Gang Baby Number Four; you gotta learn to feed her. Go on, take her...there you go,"

"Lily-"

"Bottle-feeding a baby is a life skill, Robin,"

"Is it though? Is it really?"

"Ah-ah, don't try to get out of this. Take the bottle-"

"Right,"

"No, take the baby,"

"Okay, okay. Can I sit down?"

"Yeah. It's better if you do, probably,"

"Probably,"

"Now take Anna...got her?"

"She's- wriggling. Hello, pal, can you stay still for a moment...? Shhh. Yeah. Yeah, okay, good girl. Keep that up,"

"So there's the bottle, and you gotta tip it upwards and- that's kinda it...no, you gotta tip it at more of an angle. Shove it in, she won't mind,"

"...oh my God, Lily. Oh my God, I'm feeding her. I'm feeding a baby,"

"You got it, girl!"

"...aaw, she's gurgling,"

"Did you just 'aaw'? Did you, Robin Scherbatsky, just 'aaw' at a gurgling baby?"

"Pssht, n-"

"Keep tipping it, she wants more,"

"How the hell can you tell that?"

"That's what the gurgling means. It'll stop her wriggling too,"

"You're bullshitting,"

"Robin, which one of us is raising her third child? Trust me, I know my gurgles,"

"Know Your Gurgles! Hosted by Marshall Erikson, coming soon to NBC!"

"Don't give him ideas. He used to record Marvin's cries so he could learn which was which,"

"Seriously?"

"Yup. To give him his credit, he actually got pretty good at it. Did the same in Italy when Daisy was born, but it's more busy when you have two, and now we have three, well-"

"You're passing your baby off to me to feed. Woah, she's shifting again,"

"We're outnumbered by 'em now, we gotta start calling in the cavalry...not that this isn't about giving you a chance to learn to feed a baby and not just giving my arms a break,"

"As long as you're not asking me to breastfeed her. These gals are reserved; Barney Stinson only...oh God, don't tell him I said that,"

"You keep quiet to Marshall about the Gurgle Gameshow; I keep quiet to Barney about your boobs seemingly being a reserved parking-space for his face,"

"Deal. Is Anna done yet?"

"Look at the bottle,"

"...I'm looking at it,"

"Is it empty?"

"No,"

"Well then ya keep going,"

"She has to finish this thing?! That'll take all day!"

"She's only got a small mouth, she can't gulp it all down at once,"

"So Marvin eats too fast and Anna eats too slow?

"Basically,"

"She really has to finish the bottle? It's formula milk, not free wine,"

"She usually does,"

"Oh, wonderful,"

"You just wait, Scherbatsky. You gotta burp her next..."

Thanks for reading J

PS- I worked super-hard on the previous chapter but there were some problems uploading, so if you missed it please go have a read and review! Thank you xx