Whatever confidence he had exuded in the kitchen had disappeared the moment he stepped foot into her bedroom. His insides twisted with nerves as he kicked off his shoes, a warmth began to form under his arms as he climbed onto the bed, and his mouth became dry when he saw how she looked at him with a knowing smirk. He had been on plenty of nerve-inducing, life-threatening missions, but those were nothing compared to what he was faced with now. He had never gotten this far with a woman before so he wasn't quite sure how to continue.
Starting to kiss her, he could tell that his confidence was shaken. They weren't the same kisses they had shared in the kitchen before - and it was a noticeable, bad difference. He paused, pulling back and moving to sit on the side of the bed. She sat up and moved over to sit next to him, a confused look on her face,
"I'm sorry." he apologized, not really knowing why he was. She hooked her legs over his thigh and shook her head,
"No, don't be." she started to rub his arm gently, "What's the matter?"
"I...have no idea what I'm doing." he admitted with a slight laugh. She gave him a reassuring smile and he met her eyes,
"That's okay." she assured him, "We don't have to do anything you don't want to do." her gaze was soft, but serious as she rested their foreheads against each other's. Moving her hand as if she was tucking his hair behind his ear, she continued, "We can go as slow as you want. Just tell me if you wanna stop and we'll stop." she gave him a small smile and he waited a beat before kissing her again. While this wasn't exactly how he thought it would happen, the idea of being with Q was one that felt right to him.
He let her lead, never wanting to overstep any lines that he wasn't aware were there. She moved his hands where she wanted them: on her thigh and hip. She encouraged him to do what felt right to him. He remembered Bucky saying that a woman wanted to feel special and appreciated in bedroom. Not that he was ever sure how far Bucky ever got with some of the ladies he walked home, but he still took the advice. He took his time, slowed down his kisses and tried to relish in the moment. He wanted her to feel special and appreciated.
His mouth trailed down to her neck, softly kissing the sensitive skin there and hearing her let out a sigh at the sensation. While he kissed and sucked against the skin, his hand moved up from her hip to her chest, resting right under her breast. She wrapped her hand around his, lifted it off her chest and then set it on top of her breast, silently telling him it was okay. He gently started to squeeze and massage it over her shirt, not wanting to apply too much pressure to hurt her.
Her legs wrapped around his, bare foot rubbing up against his calf. She rolled her hips up and her skirt brushed against his jeans. Her hands moved to strip him of his jacket and shirt, making him pull back from her so he could toss the articles of clothing aside. Biting her lip, Q reached forward to softly trail her hands around his chest. He had a dusting of blonde hair over his chest, but he was all flowing muscles and taut edges, that slim waist leading up to those wide shoulders. Just thinking about all that he could do with those muscles, made goosebumps appear on her skin - just as some appeared on his after her hands touched his skin.
"You been working out?" she teased, that Brooklyn accent slipping out as she looked up at him with a grin.
"Only every day." he responded, making her laugh a little. She wrapped her hand around his neck and pulled him back so she could kiss him. Her kiss turned fervent, filled with need and he kissed her back - silently telling her he understood.
Scooting down, she laid down against the pillows and his hands skated around her clothed chest. His mouth trailed kisses from her lips down to her chin then down her throat, stopping right where she kept her shirt unbuttoned. She could feel his fingers playing with the bottom buttons of her shirt, but he didn't go any further.
"Is this okay?" he asked, ever the gentleman as his hand hovered above her, not touching her until he had her full consent. She nodded eagerly, hands going to run through his hair. At her nod, he started to slowly unbutton her shirt - fingers lightly brushing against her skin as he did. Steve was a little more tentative than her other sexual partners. And maybe it was because it was his first time touching her. She couldn't be sure, but she was eager to find out.
Briefly, she had a moment of panic because she remembered she wasn't wearing her best bra or even one that matched her underwear. Usually she didn't care about that sort of stuff when it came to sex - whoever was her partner for the night made quick work of discarding her clothes as fast as possible, but for some reason, she did. Maybe because this seemed more serious than all the other times. This meant something more.
Once her shirt was completely unbuttoned, she slid her arms out of the sleeves and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in for an eager kiss. His hands moved up her bare skin, palming at her breasts over her bra, becoming a little bit surer with his actions. She rolled her hips up against him and her fingers went to tug at the hair on the back of his head. Q was, if nothing else, a little touch starved. She hadn't been with anyone since she had broken off the sexationship with Rumlow. While she was willing to go as slow as Steve needed, she knew her body was already reacting to him. He was nothing like she was used to with other guys she had been with; he was gentle and soft. He was taking his time, almost like he was trying to memorize everything she liked and forgetting everything she didn't.
Thankfully, Q was one step ahead of him and took off her bra before he had to try and figure out that contraption. Not that he had much experience with them to begin with, but he could tell that the shape and design were different from the ones in the stores or the ones Bucky described. He didn't want to embarrass himself so soon into the night's activities.
He was hesitant to touch her without the clothes or bra between them - fearing he would do it wrong or she wouldn't like it. He tried to ignore his self-doubt; she would tell him if she didn't like anything. Still, he checked in with her before doing anything, hearing her breathe out a yes - almost like she was anticipating it.
If anything, his constant check-ins were turning her on even more. Q was so used to dirty talk and her partners just taking what they wanted from her. He asked before doing anything, asking if she wanted him to or what she wanted him to do next. She wasn't sure if he knew that it was sending chills of excitement through her body, but it was. Her chest arched up into his touch and she encouraged him to do more, which was how his mouth found her nipple. He swirled his tongue around before sucking gently and making her moan. He was a fast learner, but she could still teach him a lot.
Her hands moved to quickly unbuckle his pants and he moved away, rolling over to push them off. She took the opportunity to straddle him, grinding her hips down onto his lap, her kiss capturing his low noise of surprise. She pressed her hands into his chest as she moved her mouth down from his lips to his chest. Kissing down his chest, she got to his abdomen and paused at the edge of his boxers.
Steve looked down to see that she was sitting back on her knees, hands sliding down to his hips and settling at the tops of his boxers. His chest rose and fell with each quick breath he took, but his stomach tightened again at the mere thought of what was coming next - not out of fear, but with nerves. While he had never, ever gotten this far before, he also realized he was about to very naked in front of her. This was blowing past any professional boundaries she had set up previously.
But she didn't seem to care. Her hands slowly pushed down his boxers, eyes meeting his with a wicked grin. She leaned forward to kiss him as she pushed down his boxers far enough for him to kick them off the rest of the way. Then, without warning, her hand moved to wrap around him. He involuntarily let out a low moan at the sensation. It was different than anything he had ever experienced before. Her hand was cool against his skin, but her touch was light. She dragged her hand up and around him as she moved to his neck to suck against a sensitive spot he wasn't even aware he had.
"What? They didn't have foreplay back in your day?" she murmured against his skin. He let out a breathless laugh,
"I wouldn't know." he managed, blinking hard. She smiled against his skin, continuing to twist and pump her hand around him. While he had heard stories from Bucky about a certain type of girl doing this to him, Steve had never experienced it himself. Q was not the same type of girl Bucky described so he figured it was more popular nowadays than back then.
When her thumb swiped against him, his hips jerked up against her. A flower of pride blossomed in her chest; who knew he was so sensitive? But then she remembered this was his first time doing...well, anything. She wanted him to enjoy it. And from the moans and low groans coming out of his mouth while he was gripping the sheets tight enough to rip them, she knew he was. She moved away from his neck to press a kiss to the tip, making him jolt harshly,
"Fuck." he seethed out, his own Brooklyn accent lilting the word and making her grin.
"Jar." she whispered out and he groaned.
Not wanting him to get ahead of himself, she released him after a few more moments. He let out a shaky breath and unfurled his fists from the sheets. She grinned at him, crawling up to kiss him softly.
"Doin' okay?" she asked. Steve let out another slow breath and nodded,
"Yeah, yep...uh, thank you." she giggled as he sat up against the headboard.
"You're welcome." she trailed her hand down his cheek as she sat on his lap. She felt him against her underwear and bit her lip to control her reaction. He kissed her again, one hand moving behind her head while the other moved back down to play with her chest - becoming a little more sure of himself.
Steve's hands were suddenly everywhere. First her waist, then up to her arms, her chest...He figured out where her sensitive spots were and stayed there, hearing her moan and feeling her roll her hips against his. Her fingers tangled in his hair as he kissed and nipped, encouraging him the whole time.
He moved so he could roll them over, placing her down against the pillows and trapping her in between his hands and legs. She squirmed underneath him, biting on her lower lip for a moment before reaching for him. He kissed her, moving his hands down to her hips where her skirt started. While Q was distracted by his eager kisses, his fingers found the zipper of her skirt - on the side, and gently started to tug it down. She lifted her hips up for him to have an easier time removing it. Breaking off the kisses, he moved back so he could take it off all the way, letting it drop to the floor by the bed.
"This is where your tattoo is?" he asked, hand sliding up her left leg to her thigh. When Frankie mentioned she had a tattoo and then she refused to tell Steve where it was, he thought it was on her foot or chest - not her upper thigh. She nodded as he admired it, gently turning her leg in so he could see the full thing. It was as a massive outlined flower design going all the way up to the bottom of her ass.
The tattoo consisted of three different flowers, all pressed together, with a few leaves sticking out here and there along with a half of a multi-layered geometric flower. There were two dotted chains hanging from the geometric flower and the bottom flower, intersecting together before one dropped down into a small teardrop shape. It was complicated, but beautifully detailed and something Steve had never seen before.
She had gotten it when she was a teenager, under the legal age in New York. And since her parents would never go for her getting a tattoo at such a young age, she hired out a woman from Craigslist to pretend to be her mom. Because it was so intricate and so detailed and in such a tender spot, the process took weeks. It was the most expensive tattoo ever.
"What's it mean?" he asked in awe of the design.
"Uh, if you want, each flower could represent me, my brother and my sister." she raised her eyebrows up. He met her expressive eyes.
"But…" he trailed off and she sighed.
"But really, I saw it on MySpace when I was a teenager and thought it would be cool. Some girl in Romania drew it." Steve nodded, turning back to look over the tattoo.
"Why here?" he asked, just curious. If he had learned anything from her about her teenage, pre-SHIELD self, it was that she usually had no rhyme or reason to her actions. The tattoo was a good example of that.
"So my parents wouldn't see it." she laughed a little, "But I was stupid and forgot about summers in Brooklyn." he looked back at her, eyes going wide and she clenched her teeth together, "I wore a lot of jeans." he gave a sad little laugh, feeling bad for her,
"Oh no." he said, pitying her a bit. She grimaced and nodded, covering her face with her hands for a moment before sighing.
"But I love it." she looked back down at the tattoo. He was quiet for a moment, long enough for her to ask, "Do you like it?" she asked, suddenly feeling very self-conscious about her tattoo. She never had before, but she really wanted him to like it.
"I do." he said sincerely. He looked over at her again, giving her a smile, "It's really, very cool." A happy smile spread across her face and the doubt faded away quickly. His fingers gently trailed over the lines of the tattoo, tracing each petal of every flower.
Q kept her eyes him for a moment, watching how he traced every part of her tattoo. Both of them were already (practically) naked, but this felt much more intimate than any sexual act. Goosebumps appeared where he touched her skin; no one had ever paid such close attention to her tattoo before. She reached down to pull his face up to hers so she could kiss him deeply. He smiled against her kiss before moving away to continue with what he was doing before he got distracted by her tattoo. He pressed a kiss to each of her thighs before sliding his hands up to tug off her underwear.
Steve paused at the sight in front of him. God, she was a vision. Hiding under those pantsuits and business professional clothes was a woman. One of the most beautiful ones he had ever seen. Again, he felt whatever confidence he had slowly start to seep out of him. He let his hands skate up and around her thighs as he debated with himself. Back in the day, Bucky would tell stories of this moment. He didn't care if it wasn't socially acceptable; it was all about making his lady feel good. And Steve wanted to make Q feel good.
Rolling back up, he pressed a sure kiss to her lips, readying himself. He could do this. Steve slid his right hand between them and in between her thighs. She squirmed, body begging for his fingers to make their ascent quicker.
"Is this something you want?" he asked, hand ghosting over her. She whined and bucked her hips up against his hand.
"Yes, Steve, please," she breathed out. Who knew the simple question of asking her if she wanted it could turn her on so much. His fingers trailed over her for a moment or two, seeing how she reacted. She whined again, wanting more, "Didn't realize you were such a tease."
"Just making sure you want it." he whispered and she knew he was just trying to be polite, but it still sent a shiver down her spine. It was way hotter than any of the dirty talk she had heard previously.
Soft touched led to gentle strokes until he slipped one finger inside her, all while kissing down her bare shoulders. Her mouth dropped open and her head dropped backward, the angle and the thickness making her lose it for a moment. His thumb sought out her sensitive spot - her loud moan alerting him to the fact that he found it. Steve was reacting just as much as she was, getting lost in the new act he was performing and the sensations it brought about. He was becoming more confident in himself, knowing he could (and should) continue, so his kisses started moving down to her chest and then stomach before he settled in between her legs.
"Steve, please, please." she didn't care how desperate she sounded. His breath was sending chills up her spine and sending her into overdrive. He obliged, pressing his mouth against her.
Since this was his first time, it took a few tries for him to get it right. He experimented, in order to learn what she liked and how she liked it. But she was very vocal which made it a lot easier. His name came tumbling from her lips like a prayer, her legs wrapping around his neck and pushing his face in deeper, and her hands gripping either the bed sheet or his hair rather tightly. Her hips rolled up against his face as he licked and sucked and tried to use his fingers to help her along.
Him going down on her was much different than any other guy before. Most didn't. Those who did, tried to be as fast as possible - not caring if she got anything out of it. And even if it was his first time, he was good at it. He was a quick learner and made sure to correct his mistakes almost immediately.
"Do you like -"
"Fuck, Steve, please don't stop." Q cut him off breathlessly.
"Jar." she could feel his smirk against her, but before she could retort he did something with his tongue to make her let out a moan.
Her orgasm hit her hard and practically out of nowhere, she didn't have time to warn him before it wracked through her body. She crunched up, letting out a moan as her grip on his hair tightened and her legs squeezed around him. It washed over her, sending her into a state of pure bliss. She swore she saw stars. It was one of the best orgasms she had had in a very long time.
After she rode it out, she fell back against the pillows with a sigh. Free of her legs and hand, he moved back to wipe his mouth against the sheet. Her chest heaved as she caught her breath, hair spread out across the pillow in wild, dark tendrils and cheeks flushed with a little redness. She had never looked more beautiful. His eyes raked her and Q felt like she was the only thing he could see, the prettiest thing he'd ever seen. He was nothing that she had expected so far and yet everything she'd hoped for, fantasized for. Her head was swimming, her body was singing, and she was beyond ready for whatever he wanted to give her.
Steve shifted so he was sitting up on his knees in between her open legs. He leaned forward, placing his hands on either side of her head,
"If you want to back out, we can." she said softly, reaching up to caress his face, "I know how special this is for you."
"It's special because of who I'm with." he assured her. He leaned forward to kiss her softly, but soundly. He never thought that this was how it would go down, but it felt right with her. She tasted herself on him and couldn't help but grin a little, "One last time, so I'm sure." he prompted her quietly.
"I'm positive, Cap. Are you?" she asked.
"A hundred percent." he answered immediately. She gave him a little smile and pushed forward to kiss him again before shifting under him to get a little more comfortable.
Q was a little nervous for him. She remembered her first time, sure, but that was different than what was happening in that moment. She tried to make it as easy as possible for him (getting the condom on for him), guiding him (through the basics even though he said knew) and helping him as much as she could (with anything else).
Once he was ready, he placed his hands on her knees and checked in with her one last time. After she assured him again that she wanted this - wanted him, serpents slithered up his veins in anticipation. He carefully lined himself up before slowly pushing inside of her. She let out a low moan at the feeling of him completely inside of her, catching his attention,
"Am I hurting you?" he asked, concerned.
"God, no," she breathed out, "you're good. How are you feeling?" he paused at her question, taking an experimental thrust. Her breath caught and she grabbed on to his shoulders to hold herself steady, hearing him groan,
"Fucking great." he answered her before thrusting in again. She couldn't help the sound of pleasure that left her and he grinned at it.
Pulling her knees up, she let Steve go deeper inside of her as he figured out his rhythm and angles - drawing new noises from both of them each time. She maintained eye contact with him, noticing how he looked at her with need and want. She'd never seen Steve look the way he did at that moment. His blue eyes had turned to midnight, his expression was intense and focused entirely on her.
As he picked up his pace, he buried his face into her neck. It was like the world tilted on its axis as he experienced all these new sensations for the first time. The sounds she was making were jarring, but beautiful and her body was responding to his as much as his was responding to hers. He pressed sloppy kisses to her skin as his hands gripped her hips, steadying her as he slammed into her.
"Q…" he breathed out, dragging his face against her hair before picking it up to look at her, "I don't...I don't know how long…" he managed out, almost panting at that point. She nodded, having assumed it wouldn't last as long as she was used to. She pressed her hands against his cheeks, getting him to look at her.
"Come for me." she told him. He bit his bottom lip, eyes fluttering shut as his rhythm stuttered. He let out a groan and his grip on her hips became tighter as he came. She let out a gasp at the feeling and he pitched forward to bury his face into her hair. His body slumped on top of hers, his full weight resting on her for a moment as he came down from his high. She ran her fingers through his hair and down his back, murmuring sweet nothings into his ear and pressing soft kisses around his face until he calmed down.
"God bless America." she sighed out, making him laugh. Truly, fully, belly laugh. His laughter sparked her laughter and the room was suddenly filled with the sound of their amusement. She was laughing so hard, she snorted, which caused him to start laughing even more. Embarrassed, she tried to cover her face with her hands, but he didn't let her, stopping her and saying how cute he thought it was. She smiled up at him before kissing him once again, a grin spreading out across her face as he kissed her back.
After they had calmed down, he pushed onto his hands and pulled out, sitting back on his knees for a moment before moving to lay down next to her.
"Did you…?" he trailed off, looking at her in a concerned manner. She paused for a moment, ready to lie, but deciding against it. She had done enough lying that night.
"Not that time." she gave him a reassuring smile, "But it's okay. I did earlier." she moved forward to kiss him sweetly, not wanting that disappointed look to linger. She moved to lay the side of her face on his chest, fingers intertwining with his. Usually, she wasn't big on cuddling, but she wanted to be as close to him as possible for as long as possible.
"I'm sorry." he apologized. She propped herself up on her hands to look at him,
"It's okay, it was your first time. You did great." she patted his chest. He gave her an unamused look,
"You're just being nice." he sighed and she shook her head,
"No, it was really great." she said genuinely, "I really enjoyed myself." It was the truth. It might not have lasted very long, but it was probably the best sex she had ever had. Steve took his time, appreciated her and made sure she felt good. It was the most intimate she had ever been with someone. "How was it for you?" she asked curiously. He let out a laugh,
"It was fucking incredible. I think that was clear." she grinned at him. She lowered her head back on his chest.
"Well, a girl's got to make sure."
"Just wish it could've...you know...lasted a little longer." he sighed, disappointed in himself. She smiled against his skin,
"That comes with practice." she assured him. Steve let out another sigh and wrapped his arm around her.
"You've clearly had a lot of it." he pointed out. She shrugged against him, but didn't answer, "What was your first time like?" he asked her, making her think back several years.
"I was fifteen? Fourteen? I can't remember, but I know it was with this guy at a New Year's party. It was awkward and messy and uncomfortable." she rattled off, laughing a little as she remembered what happened before her eyes went wide, "I was on top." he gave her a confused look and she explained, "Girls are not usually on top their first time because...relaxation of certain parts of her is really important the first few times and that position isn't really conducive to it." he laughed lightly at how medicinal she sounded when explaining it to him,
"Then why…?"
"I don't know!" Q cried out, hands covering her face with a laugh, "God, I don't even remember his name." she dropped her hands to his chest and looked at him with a grin. He raised his eyebrows at her, not expecting her revelation. Even still she was surprising him. She laughed again shaking her head, "Don't give me that look, I was a completely different person then. That was literally half my life ago." he stared at her, completely stunned for a moment before bursting out into laughter. Another one of his full belly laughs. She could get used to the sound of them, "What?!" she laughed out.
"You've been having sex for half your life, and until a few minutes ago, I was a ninety-five year old virgin." she burst into giggles at his realization, burying her face into his chest.
"I can't believe I slept with such an old man." she mumbled against his chest. He laughed again, leaning down to kiss the top of her head,
"Ow." he pretended to be hurt, but she ignored him. His hands wove through her hair, gently massaging her scalp. They fell quiet for a moment, both thinking about what just occurred.
"You called me Steve." he said after a moment of silence. Her brows furrowed and she looked up to see that he was looking down at her.
"I did?" she asked, trying to think back as to when that happened. But her post sex brain was never good at remembering what she said during the act itself - those damn endorphins.
"Mhm." he hummed. She felt her cheeks flush and she looked away from him.
"I'm sorry. I - I didn't mean to. It must've just slipped out." she tried to explain and apologize. His arm came to wrap around her shoulders,
"No, no, I liked it." he assured her, "I'd actually prefer it if you called me Steve." he admitted, raising his eyebrows a bit. She met his eyes and made a face, nodding to herself.
"I'll keep that in mind." she responded. He gave her a little grin and nodded back at her, pressing her closer to his chest.
Another moment of quiet passed, his thumb rubbing softly against her skin. The air was thick with sex and smelled the same. But he wanted to live in the moment forever; it was utterly perfect. He had never felt so close to Q before - literally and figuratively.
"I'm sorry I couldn't save Fury." he whispered. She reactively tensed up against his chest. He didn't want to ruin the moment, but he needed to apologize to her. He should've been more aware of everything going on. But by the time he figured it out, it was too late.
"It's okay." she said, voice feeling thick, "You did everything you could." she swallowed back the lump in her throat before moving to get up from her position.
"Where are you going?" he asked, knowing he said the wrong thing - that's why she was leaving. She paused and gave him a look along with a little smile.
"To pee." she responded, "Can't very well tell my gyno that Captain America gave me a UTI, can I?" she teased, making him roll his eyes, even though he didn't quite know what an UTI was. She grinned at him before moving off the bed and to the bathroom.
While she was peeing, Steve discarded of the used condom and tried to straighten up the best he could. He put his boxers back on before sneaking into the kitchen to grab the drinks they had discarded when everything started happening. There was a box of Lucky Charms in the cabinet that he grabbed as well, having a feeling that she was going to be hungry. He went back into the bedroom as she came out of the bathroom. She gave him a smile and he returned it, feeling warm and happy inside.
Taking the cereal box, she climbed back onto the bed, settling against the headboard with him next to her. She slouched down a bit so she could rest her head against his shoulder. The cereal box was in between them, letting them both grab handfuls whenever they wanted to. He sipped at his water while she quietly separated her marshmallows from the rice pieces. At one point, he heard her laugh to herself.
"What's so funny?" he asked, making her lift up her head to look at him. She grinned at him and shook her head,
"Nothing. I just...I deflowered Captain America." she laughed to herself, "That's something no one else can claim. Ever." she swiped her hand through the air to make her point. He let out an amused scoff and rolled his eyes.
"That's what you're thinking about right now?" she shrugged, making a face. He grinned at her before shaking his head.
"What are you thinking about right now?" she asked after a moment. He looked back at her, raising his eyebrows up a bit. She nudged him, "Come on, say what's in your head." He tilted his head to the side and made a face. There were a lot of things in his head, but he decided to go with the one that wouldn't be a complete mood ruiner.
"Well, I just realized we had sex and I don't even know your first name." he pointed out with a half smile and making her laugh again.
"Do you know how many people I've had sex with and didn't know their first name?" she gave him a look and he shook his head.
"Not the point." he said matter of factly with a pointed look at her. She held his gaze and slowly chewed the marshmallows in her mouth.
"This is really important to you, huh?" she concluded and he nodded. She took in a breath and then let it out slowly, "Fine." she shifted on the bed so she was facing him fully, legs extending over his, "My full name is Quincy James Proctor." she admitted. His brows furrowed; she had to be messing with him. What parents would name their daughter two male names? "My parents thought I was a boy - they were certain of it." she explained, answering his silent question, "So they decided to name me after two men on either side of the family who had passed - very morbid… Imagine their surprise when I turned out to be a girl."
"They didn't think to choose a different name?" Steve asked. She shook her head,
"Nope. They already told everyone. People sent in monogrammed things. I was stuck with it." she explained.
"So why go by Q?" he asked, still semi-confused, but understanding a little more as to why she went by her initial. She shrugged,
"I tried a bunch of different nicknames. Quinn, Q-J, Proctor...then Q just sorta stuck." she shrugged again and then she let out a little sigh. A moment passed, then her brow furrowed slightly and she looked at him, "You called me something else, the other night on our fake date…" she trailed off, "Queenie." she repeated the nickname that accidentally slipped out earlier in the week as a little grin tugged at her face. He felt his face flush and he shook his head,
"Yeah, I don't - I'm sorry, I don't know why I called you that." he sounded like she had when she was apologizing for calling him Steve. She rolled forward, moving so that she was closer to him,
"Don't apologize." she picked up his arm so she could wrap it around herself, "I liked it. No one's ever given me a nickname before. They've all been self-given." he laughed a little, then nodded to himself.
"Alright… Queenie it is." he agreed, liking the way it sounded. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head as she snuggled closer to him.
They stayed like that for a long time. Holding each other close, sharing soft kisses and talking quietly to each other about everything and anything. She traced patterns along his skin with her finger while he told her stories about his childhood and his time with the Howling Commandos. Ones he had never told her before, ones that made her laugh. He pressed soft kisses to her shoulders as she told him her own stories...finally telling him why she had ended up in prison. It wasn't what he expected, but it was clear that she was ashamed by it so he didn't press on it further.
At one point, he looked down to see that Q had fallen asleep in his arms. He moved her hair out of her face and watched her sleep for a moment. For the past few hours, time had stayed still. Besides his apology, there was really no mention of what had happened earlier in the night. In fact, it was strange to think that it had only been one night. Admitting his feelings to her in the Thai restaurant felt like it had happened ages ago. There had been too many ups and downs throughout the night, but he was choosing to focus on the ups.
With everything that happened, he dreaded the moment he had to tell her what had really happened with Fury in his apartment. That SHIELD had apparently been compromised and what Fury's last words were. He didn't want to tell her. Hell, he wasn't even sure he should tell her. What if she was compromised too? No. No. He hated himself for even thinking that Q - his Q, would ever be compromised. He knew her. For once in his life, he was sure he truly knew her. She couldn't be compromised. Not now.
In the middle of the night, Q woke with a start. Still a little groggy, she realized she had fallen asleep in Steve's arms. Looking up at him, she saw that he was asleep against her pillows - completely relaxed, which was a surprising, but welcome sight. Being Captain America, he held so much responsibility - some self-given, some given to him by others. It was rare for him to look so calm and at peace, normally weighed down by his past or his future or even his present. She wished she could find a way for him to be able to be as relaxed as he looked in his sleep while he was awake.
But that could never be the case. Especially considering all that had happened earlier in the evening. All the chaos with Fury that had happened right in his apartment. He would be carrying that guilt just as long as he had been carrying the rest. She knew she could never do enough to help Captain America, but Steve Rogers? She would carry every single one of his problems if it meant he could have just one more peaceful night.
A sudden beeping cut through the room, waking both of them up even though it felt like they had just managed to fall asleep. She groaned, rolling her body off of his chest to turn her alarm off. He rubbed his eyes and let out a sigh as she silenced her alarm.
"Sorry." she mumbled, still half asleep as she rolled back onto her side. He rolled onto his so that their faces were mere centimeters apart from each other. She stuck her hands under her head and he reached out to move her hair away from her face.
"It's okay." he sighed. She took in a breath, pulling her lower lip in between her teeth,
"So...last night," she prompted with a slight eyebrow raise. He copied her expression, waiting to see where she was going with it, "I didn't mean to...pressure you into anything or make you feel like you had to do what we did." she admitted, gaze shifting down a bit, clearly a little upset with herself. He lifted her chin up gently so that she had to look at him,
"I didn't feel pressured at all. It felt right with you." he said seriously. The corners of her mouth twitched up and she nodded, pressing her face back into the pillow a bit.
"It felt right with you too." Q agreed, making him smile. He moved forward to give her a soft kiss, feeling her smile against him.
"You gonna go on your run?" she asked when she pulled back. He ran his hands down her bare shoulders and made a face.
"I don't think so." he looked down at her, "Kinda wanna just stay here for a little bit longer, if that's okay." she lifted her head up and gave him a soft smile,
"Of course it's okay." she moved forward to kiss him gently. He kissed her back and returned the smile.
Steve wasn't sure how it was going to be in the morning. From what Q told him, she always kicked her overnight guest out as soon as both of them were finished. But he had stayed. She let him stay overnight - even fell asleep in his arms. And she looked happy to see him.
"Say what's in your head." she prompted, noticing that he was staring off into space. He met her eyes before reaching out to bring her so she was laying with her head on his chest. He sat up a bit more so that both of them were more comfortable.
"Just thinking about how things have changed." he admitted. She lifted her head up to look at him with raised her eyebrows and he continued, "I mean, did you ever think that...this was where we would end up?" he gestured to her bedroom and she let out a laugh.
"Certainly not, no." she smiled at him before settling back down on his chest, "But I'm happy we did." he looked back down at her, moving to kiss her shoulder. "Are you?" she asked after a moment, almost carefully, even though she had mentioned it earlier.
"I am." he said truthfully, "For the first time, in a long time, I really am, Queenie." A big smile broke out across her face and she bit her bottom lip. Her fingers trailed around his skin while his fingers softly played with her hair, "Are you hungry?" he asked after a moment. She let out a little scoff, looking at him as if he was stupid.
"You really have to ask me that?" he laughed a lightly at her answer.
"Breakfast sandwiches, okay?" he asked, raising his eyebrows a bit. She fixed him with the same look, "Got it." he continued before moving to kiss her again. She kissed him back before he moved her to the side, gently setting her down against the pillows.
Q shifted against her pillows, watching as he dressed himself. Before he left, he moved over to her side of the bed and quickly kissed her. She couldn't help but giggle at the motion, chewing down on thumbnail. She was basking in her post-sex glow. A happy feeling spread across her whole body, from her head to her toes. She had never felt this way after sex before. She usually just felt dirty and gross and sometimes even regretful. But there was no ounce of regret in her body. Instead, there was a smile on her face that felt like it could be permanent and a sense of pure joy running through her veins. An unfamiliar feeling, but a welcome one.
The night had changed so fast; one moment he was professing his feelings for her outside a Thai restaurant, the next he was yelling at her about how angry he was that she lied to her and it all ended with the two of them in bed together. Never in her wildest dreams could she predict that outcome.
While Steve was gone, she cleaned up a little. She grabbed the empty cereal box and their empty drinks, padding into the kitchen to dump them into the trash. Her graphs and charts and pro/con lists were scattered about on the table and she grinned to herself. It all seemed so silly that she had spent so much time on all of it. If anything, everything that happened with Steve was a little bit of a wake-up call. She didn't need to rely on her graphs for every single choice in her life. It didn't mean her life would fall apart. She could relax a bit. Some risks were good. Some.
Steve walked back into Q's apartment with two breakfast sandwiches, a coffee for him and a hot chocolate for her. He found her still in her bedroom - wearing a tank top (but nothing else) and scrolling through her phone. When he came into the bedroom, she looked up from her phone and gave him a happy smile. Tossing the device to the side, she sat up a bit more in her bed and pulled her legs up to her chest.
"Hey." she greeted him, resting her cheek on her knee, "How's Al?" he gave her a grin, handing her a breakfast sandwich and her hot chocolate. He slipped off his shoes before climbing back onto bed with her. She moved so that she could sit close to him and he instinctively wrapped his arm around her shoulders.
"He's good. Told me to tell you hi." Satisfied with that answer, she snuggled down and started to unwrap her sandwich. They ate in silence for a few minutes, both enjoying each other's company.
Last night had changed everything. Steve kept his arm around her, thumb slowly rubbing circles around her skin. It was so easy and natural to be physical with her now. Q leaned her head against his chest, happy that she had let him stay the night. She never let any of her sexual partners stay overnight before, but it just felt right to have him stay. She felt safe and protected and she had a fleeting thought that it could be more than just a sex thing.
Weirdly enough, she could almost imagine getting into a relationship with Steve, which was...totally unprofessional. Though, last night had made it perfectly clear that there was no need for her to be professional anymore. At least not when they weren't in the Triskelion.
Steve offered her a bite of his sandwich, which she took, and she gave him a satisfied smile. He leaned forward to kiss her softly, then moved to kiss her nose before sitting back against the headboard. For now, she decided to keep her thought about the future of their relationship to herself. She didn't need to freak him out. All she wanted was to live in the happy, post-sex moment.
Of course, that couldn't last for long. Their phones dinged at exactly the same time, popping the little bubble they had been existing in for past few hours. She reached for hers while he dug into his pants for his. Both had the same message alert from SHIELD, requesting them to get to the Triskelion as soon as possible for a meeting with Secretary Pierce.
In an instant, reality snapped back into motion. Both of them remembered what happened last night besides their time in bed. Fury had been murdered in cold blood, right in the middle of Steve's apartment. Steve looked over at where she was chewing on her bottom lip, eyes on her phone, and Fury's dying words echoed in the back of his head again - reminding him not to trust anyone. He took in a breath, a knot beginning to form in the pit of his stomach; he needed to tell her. He worried that she would be one of the people Fury was warning him about. But he knew her well enough now that he would be able to figure out how genuine her reaction was.
"We should probably get going, shouldn't we?" she murmured before looking up at him. Her brow furrowed at the look on his face, reaching up with her free hand to smooth her hand over his skin. "What's wrong?" she asked, sitting up to face him fully and crossing her legs Indian style. Steve took in a breath and looked down at his phone, trying to figure out how to say what he needed to. She reached for his hand, holding it in hers and her thumb ran over his knuckles.
"There's something I didn't tell you about when Fury was in my apartment. Something I didn't tell Agent Halliday either." he said carefully. He paused for a moment, swallowing and then meeting her look. She looked so worried and concerned, "Before he was shot...Fury told me that SHIELD...had been compromised." he managed out, eyes trained on her face, looking for any sign of reaction. Her brows furrowed and she pulled herself up a bit straighter, "And then he told me not to trust anyone." he finished, swallowing the lump in his throat. She pulled away from him slightly, eyes widening just a bit as her mouth dropped open a little. Then her brow furrowed again and she pulled herself up straight before nodding to herself.
Q swallowed hard, her gaze dropping from his and she nodded a few times - maybe a few too many times, but her brain was beginning to short circuit. Fury had told Steve that SHIELD, her home, had been compromised. And on top of that, that he couldn't trust anyone. Anyone. She wondered if that included her.
Quickly, she licked her lips, eyes searching his face for any signs of...really anything to tell her that he was kidding, but his face was set and his eyes were serious. She reached out to grasp his face in between her hands, making it so his gaze wouldn't leave hers.
"You can trust me, Steve." she reminded him firmly, "...I trust you. And that means more to me than anything." she left off the even 'I love you' part; even though it was true, he didn't need to think she was in love with him. She rarely trusted anyone, having learned the hard way that it was safer that way, so trusting him was a big deal for her. He stared at her for a moment more before reaching up to wrap his hand around her wrist.
"I know. I know." he gave her what he wanted to be a reassuring smile, but it just felt forced. He took in a breath, trying to calm himself down; he trusted her. After everything they had been through - even in just the past several hours, he really did, "I trust you too, Queenie." she relaxed visibly. Bringing him in for a searing kiss, she tried to pour all of what was left unsaid into it. He kissed her back for a moment before she pulled back. Her forehead rested against his and she nodded a bit.
"We're gonna be fine, okay? We'll just go in there, talk to Pierce about last night and then make a game-plan." he gave her a small smile and nodded; she always had a plan, even when she didn't mean to. At least he knew she would always be on his side.
From the moment they walked into the main lobby of the building, Q could tell something had shifted at the Triskelion. What Steve had told her weighed in the back of her head, but she tried not to focus on it. The Director of SHIELD had just been murdered not even twenty-four hours earlier, of course there would be a palpable difference in how people moved around and interacted. Not everyone could be compromised...right?
Before they reached the elevators, three agents approached them. A few STRIKE team members flocked them and Steve held out his arm in front of her - to stop her or protect her, Q wasn't sure.
"Captain Rogers," one of the agents greeted him, "if you'll follow me. Secretary Pierce will see you now." he gestured for Steve to follow. Both him and Q stepped forward, only for the agent to stop her,
"Agent Proctor, I'm sorry, but you won't be able to join us." Steve and Q exchanged a look; they had never been forced apart like this. Usually, if she needed to, she waited in the hall outside the room, or Dawson would be with him, nothing like this. "If you'll follow Agent Jones, he'll take you to a waiting area."
As Q watched Steve walk away with the other agent, a lump formed in the back of her throat. This was bad.
A/N: SHIT. IS. GOING. DOWN. I hope you enjoyed this smutty-ish chapter! Steve's no longer a virgin! I just wanna thank everyone who reviewed last chapter - I think that was the most reviews I've ever gotten on a chapter. Keep it up, please! I love hearing your thoughts, comments and concerns!