Spencer's POV
I sit at the dining room table with my husband as we enjoy a delicious meal of steak and red wine. I rarely get to eat dinner with Toby since I work so late on the weekdays. One of my favorite things about preliminary hearings is that they are short and to the point. Usually Toby takes me out to a fancy restaurant after preliminary hearings, but he told me he wasn't in the mood today.
"You seem happy this evening." Toby mutters as he takes a long sip of red wine.
"Happy? I'm over the moon. This is the highest profile case in America! If... When I win, it will redefine my entire career." I say with a cheeky smile.
"How? You're already known as the best lawyer in America." Toby tells me flatly.
"Yeah, but when I win this case, everyone will believe it. Heck, I'll be the next Robert Kardashian!" I exclaim.
"I guess, but do you really think you can get that man off? He kidnapped Aria while she was pregnant, and raped her every night for five years. I think it's going to be tough to convince a jury that he deserves a second chance." Toby reminds me.
"Toby, the question isn't whether or not he did those things to Aria, it's whether or not he was in his right mind when he committed the crimes. I just have to convince the jury that he was mentally ill and I win! And honestly I don't think it will be that hard. He was sexually abused by his older brother as a child, and I hired a psychologist who can tell the jury all the negative affects early abuse has on the development of the brain..." I start to ramble.
"Do you think he's crazy?" Toby interrupts.
"It doesn't matter what I think, it matters what the jury thinks." I say with an eye roll.
Toby seems annoyed. He seems more than annoyed actually. My husband seems flat out angry. For some reason he still feels loyal to Aria and Ezra, and I don't understand why. We haven't spoken to them in over five years, and why should I have to sacrifice the biggest case of my career for an old friend?
"I bet you want me to lose the case." I mutter as I avoid looking into my husband's eyes.
"Spence, I love and support you. I want you to succeed in your career, but I think you're taking this too far. Nicholas is an evil man, and he hurt your old best friend. I just can't believe you'd do this to Aria..." Toby starts to say.
"What happened to innocent until proven guilty? Nicholas did some awful things, but he deserves a fair trial just like the rest of us. Aria is going to have to suck it up because even if I weren't defending Nick, someone else would be. She'd have to go through this process even if I hadn't taken the case." I remind my husband.
"Do you remember when you were in Kindergarden, and Noel Kahn made fun of Aria for being short and having glasses?" Toby asks me suddenly.
"Of course. I punched him square in the jaw, and gave him a bloody nose." I say with a small laugh.
"See. The Spencer I married always stuck up for her best friends, whether it was Aria, Hanna, or Emily." Toby says with a breathy sigh.
"The Spencer you married? What's that supposed to mean?" I ask defensively.
"I don't know. You've just changed a lot. You've always been determined and ambitious, but you used to have a soft side too. The thing is... I don't see that side of you anymore. You're becoming so hard, and so cold..." Toby starts to ramble.
His words cause tears to form in my eyes. Toby and I aren't as close as we used to be, and I worry he's falling out of love with me. He's the only good thing in my life that isn't work related, and I don't want to lose him. I can't lose him.
"W-What are you saying?" I ask as tears begin to spill out of my eyes.
"I'm saying that maybe you should take a break after this case. I think you need to tear yourself away from the spotlight long enough for you to realize that you're more than a lawyer Spencer. There are more important things than your career..." Toby starts to tell me.
He's wrong. Being a lawyer is what I do. It's who I am. Why should I have to sacrifice something that I love to please my husband? That isn't right.
And what's more important than the justice system? People always ask me why I became a defense attorney, and my answer is always the same. The world isn't a black or white place. Trials aren't about finding out who's "good" and who's "evil." The truth of the matter is that anyone can do something "good" or something "evil" under the right circumstances.
In my first case out of law school, I defended a woman who shot a Catholic priest during mass. Sounds horrible, right? Well, I don't think I can condemn her actions. The Catholic priest she shot raped her six year-old daughter everyday after school for almost a year. Her intentions were not to kill an innocent men. Her intentions were to protect her baby girl, who had been hurt repeatedly by a man that their family had trusted. The most important lesson I've learned from being a defense attorney is that it is not a person's actions that make them good or evil. It's their intentions behind those actions.
I'll never forget how amazing I felt when the jury announced that my client was not guilty of murder by reasons of insanity. She threw her arms around me, and thanked me through her heavy sobs. Her daughter also made me a card, thanking me for keeping her mommy out of jail.
That case taught me that everyone has a backstory, and more like than not, criminals are victims of something too. I've defended men who have killed their wives, and I have defended mothers who have killed their children. But no matter how awful the crime, I try my best not to judge my clients, or their characters. I take their circumstances into account, and I show the world that no one is entirely evil. Even the most cold blooded killers have thoughts, feelings, and emotions, and their story needs to be heard just as much as the victim's.
So is Nick crazy? Maybe, maybe not, but it doesn't matter. At one point in his life, he was a victim just like Aria, and I want the world to hear his story too. If someone had stuck up for him when he was abused just like how everyone is sticking up for Aria now, I guarantee you he wouldn't be sitting in a prison cell. This crime never would have happened, and both him and Aria would be better off because of it.
"Toby, what is more important than the justice system? Name one thing." I say as I begin to raise my voice.
"I don't know. You used to want a family. Remember?" Toby asks as he stares into my hazel eyes.
"We are family Toby. You've always been enough for me." I say as I reach for his hand, and give it a gentle squeeze.
"And you've always been enough for me, but don't want children? I know how devastated you were when we lost.." Toby starts to say.
"Enough!" I say, cutting him off mid-sentence.
I don't want to talk about the baby we lost. The past is the past, and we can't do anything to change it. I just want to live my life without reliving the pain I felt that day.
"Spencer, I know you're indifferent, but I really want a baby. A little boy who I can play baseball with, or a little girl who looks just like her beautiful Mommy." Toby tells me softly.
I'm not indifferent. I don't want another child. I've worked too hard to let a baby ruin my career. Toby isn't the one who has to sacrifice to bring the baby into the world, so he shouldn't get to decide what gets sacrificed.
"Here's an idea! Why don't you go to a doctor, and have them give you ovaries and a vagina. After you have that surgery, I can go in and ask for a penis. Since you want a baby so badly you can carry it for nine months, and then you take time off work to raise it." I tell my husband dryly.
"Most women want babies." Toby says with a breathy sigh.
I storm up to my office and pull a scrapbook of newspaper clippings out of my desk. Then I walk back into kitchen, and open up to the page with a copy of the cover of Time Magazine. It has a picture of my face, and the words "Best Lawyer in America" underneath.
"Most women aren't this Toby." I say as I shove the scrapbook into his hands.
Toby sighs, and I can tell he's frustrated. What am I supposed to do? Tell my boss I won't be at work for a year, and then get busy with him in the bedroom? Sorry Toby, not going to happen.
"Maybe we should take a break for a while." Toby mutters.
Take a break? As in separate? I can literally feel my heart shatter into a million pieces. I can't believe he's making me chose between him and my career. That's just selfish.
"Fine by me." I scream before storming into our bedroom, and slamming the door behind me.
Line Break
I'm upstairs in my bedroom looking through files when my cell phone begins to ring. Who is calling me this late at night. I pick up the phone and gasp when I realize that it's Ezra Fitz. He probably wants to give me an earful for defending the man who hurt Aria.
"You can't be calling here Ezra. It's completely unprofessional..." I say into the phone.
"I-It's Aria." I hear a soft voice say, through a series of heavy sobs.
Jesus Christ. She seems upset. Really upset...
"Listen Aria, you can't call here anymore. Especially not while the trial is going on. Is everything okay though?" I ask as my voice softens.
"I'm sorry Spencer. I'm so sorry." Aria says through her tears.
She's sorry? In theory, I'm the one who should be apologizing. I'm defending the man who kidnapped and raped her.
"Why are you sorry?" I ask with confusion in my voice.
"Your baby. I killed him. It's all my fault." Aria says as she begins to cry even harder if that's humanly possible.
Oh my god! Aria blames herself for that? It wasn't her fault! All the sudden, I get really really nervous. Aria seems hysterical. Hysterical enough to do something stupid.
"I don't blame you for hating me. I hate myself too Spencer. It's all my fault. Everything is all my fault..." Aria starts to ramble.
"Don't say that! It isn't your fault, and I don't hate you." I say as tears begin to form in my eyes.
"I just had to say goodbye..." Aria starts to ramble.
"Goodbye? What are you talking about?" I ask with panic in my voice.
"Everyone will be better off without me Spencer. I am a horrible, horrible person. I'm hurting everyone. You, Ezra, Gregory, my parents... I just want to stop." Aria mutters.
"Aria, you need to slow down and think! How would Ezra feel if you died? What about your little boy? You don't want to do this Aria." I say, trying to convince her.
"Yes I do. It's my fault Spencer. My fault, my fault, my fault, my fault, my fault..." Aria repeats over and over again.
"Enough! Where is Ezra?" I question.
"He's in the backyard with Gregory. I can see them playing from my window." Aria says with a sniffle.
"I want you to walk downstairs and give Ezra the phone. I'd like to speak with him now." I say as I begin to raise my voice.
"No. He'll try to stop me Spencer." Aria tells me suddenly.
"Good! Someone needs to stop you Aria. If they don't, I'll die with you. I already lost you once and I can't lose you again." I say as I burst into tears.
"That's not true. You'd be so much happier if I were gone..." Aria starts to say.
She isn't going to listen to me! I have to take matters into my own hands.
"Aria, listen to me for a minute. I have to put you on hold, but I need you to stay on the line with me. Can you do that?" I ask her.
"Okay." Aria says with a sniffle.
"Good. Now I'm going to let you go for a minute, but stay there." I say before putting her call on hold, and running to the living room where Toby is sleeping.
"Toby, Toby wake up." I say as I begin to shake him vigorously.
"What? What is it?" Toby asks as his blue eyes flutter open.
"I need you to call Ezra right now. He won't answer any of my calls, but he might answer yours..." I start to say.
"Why do I need to call Ezra?" Toby asks with confusion in his voice.
"Because Aria just called me, and I think she's about to do something stupid. Call Ezra and tell him to find Aria and then take her to the hospital immediately. She's sick Toby, really, really sick." I say as I burst into tears.
"Calm down. I'll call Ezra now." Toby says as he pulls out his phone, and dials the number.
Ezra doesn't answer, and I scream out in frustration. Toby rests a hand on my shoulder, and he's obviously trying to calm me down.
"Call the police and send them to Aria's house." Toby instructs.
I nod, before dialing 911. They answer almost immediately, and I let out a sigh of relief.
"This is 911..." The woman on the other end of the line starts to say.
"I know the drill. Send an ambulance to The Fitz household right away. The wife is trying to kill herself, and we can't get ahold of her husband." I tell the woman.
"We'll send people over right away." The woman says before hanging up the phone.
What if they don't get there on time? I pushed Aria over the edge, and If she dies her blood will be on my hands.
"I'm going to get Aria on the phone and keep her distracted until the police arrive." I tell Toby.
Aria is still on the line! Thank God!
"Aria, I'm back. The police are coming okay? They're going to take you to the hospital, and they're going to get you help. You're sick right now now Aria. You don't really want to die, and that's why you called me. Deep down, you wanted me to stop you..." I start to say.
"You're too late Spence." Aria says, cutting me off mid-sentence.
"W-What do you mean?" I ask with panic in my voice.
"The deed is already done. It's only a matter of time now." Aria tells me softly.
"No! What did you do?" I ask as my body goes numb.
She isn't answering me! Dammit!
"Answer me!" I scream into the phone.
"Goodbye Spencer." Aria says as the line goes dead.
AN: So... What did you think? Is Spencer less or more heartless than you thought she was before this chapter? What about Aria? She finally reached the breaking point? What did she do, and will she survive? I'll update as soon as I get 35 reviews. Thanks for reading :)