Old Enough

You're too young to have it figured out
You think you know what you're talking about
You think it will all work itself out
But we'll see…

We headed for home early the next evening, after stopping by Jake's to say goodbye and one last trip to Riley's grave. Instead of leaving flowers, Bella inserted guitar picks into the ground in the outline of a heart. I stood beside her as she hugged his stone.

"I love you so much Riley. I miss you every day. Thank you for being the best brother I could ever have wished for… for making me strong and proud. For teaching me how to love and be loved. Without that, I could never have found the love I have with Edward. I know you'd approve, Riley; of him, and my choice. I won't see you again, but you're in my heart forever." She kissed her fingertips and rubbed them on the top before taking my hand.

I pulled her close for a hug and she clung to me. Then she turned back to Riley. "Hey, I know you've probably found a dozen or so great girls up there to keep you from being lonely, but there's a couple you should look for. They'd make great surrogate parents." Looking at me with a grin, she elbowed me.

"Elizabeth and Edward Masen," I said, speaking their names for the first time in 9 decades. "They would love to meet you, Riley. They are awesome people. Tell them I sent you for them. Tell them… tell them, I'm… I'm finally happy."

It was Bella's turn to hold me. The flood of emotion almost knocked me down. I missed them more intensely than I had since those first days I was a newborn and I finally forgave them for letting Carlisle do this to me. It was only now that I realized I had blamed them; resented them for escaping their pain but leaving me to suffer even more. Had my mother not begged for me to be saved, I would never have known the kind of joy I felt when Bella held me. I hoped they saw my attempt at being a good man; the kind of man they raised me to be for 17 years. I prayed they saw my love for Bella and wished us well.

We drove in silence for the first several miles, both of us lost in our own thoughts and memories. Bella was the first to speak.

"When will we do it?"

She was referring to changing her. I had asked – pleaded – a dozen times for her to allow herself more time to think it through, but she was determined. "It would be better to wait… you'll have more options if you're older. I can pass for older, myself and we can be a newly married couple and have job options or at least go to university. Being stuck as a high school kid forever sucks, Bella. Believe me."

"Can we keep it from the others that long? I don't think that's wise. If we're going to do this, we should move on it. I can pretend to be older…can't I? Or do I really look like a high school kid?"

I smirked at her coyly. "Depends. When you're legs are wrapped around my head, you do seem more mature…"

She gave me a slap and then groaned in pain as she rubbed her hand. "You never told me how your family found Alice. Or Jasper. And where did Emmett come from?"

"Em… he was found one day while we were hunting. Rosalie came across him first. She actually chased off his would-be killer… a grizzly. He was hurt badly. He would have died out there. It was the scent of his blood that drew her to him, then when she saw him… Like I said, it was all over for her. She wanted him like nothing else and when Rose is determined, she gets what she wants."

"Except you…" she reminded me.

I winked at her. "Except me. So that's Emmett's story. He can tell you about the actual battle; he remembers it well and fondly retells it to whoever will listen. You'll get sick of hearing it, trust me. Alice and Jazz were different. They found us, actually."

"Carlisle didn't change them?"

I shook my head. "No. They had very different beginnings. They were true newborns, borne of vile vampires, not like Carlisle with morals and compassion. Maybe I should let them tell you their own stories." I smiled over at her gently.

"You don't want to scare me," she stated.

I paused to give that some thought. I didn't want her to be afraid of any of my family, but she did need to be weary until she was one of us. "I'll let them tell you about their lives before and how they became immortal, but I will tell you that they did live as the other vampires do. They did follow their instincts and they did prey on humans. They are the only ones who began that way. Emmett and I have had our… indiscretions… Rosalie and Esme have never tasted human blood. And Carlisle, only when he saved the three of us. But Alice and Jazz are newer to our lifestyle. Their instinct to desire human blood is stronger than the rest of us, but they are doing really well; Alice, especially."

"Is that why Jasper hangs back a lot? Seems so timid?"

I smiled and gave her hand a squeeze. "You can't possibly know how good it feels to be able to be honest with you. Jasper… he's my brother, I love him, I would trust him with my life, if I had one." I let out a chuckle, in a great mood. "But yours…? Here's the deal, 90% of the time, I have complete confidence in him, it's that other 10% that worries me."

"I spent quite a lot of time with him while you were gone, you know. He never once bit me… or even tried to!" She defended him in a joking way. "I like him. I think he's a really cool guy. A sweetheart."

"Agreed. 90% of the time…" I casted a warning look at her. "But he is a vampire. And vampires can't be trusted."

"I trust you."

"And has that been wise? Look where it's got you."

She smiled brightly at me. "Yeah, look where it's got me. Happy. Fulfilled. Completely in love with a great, gorgeous guy who would do anything for me. Trusting you is a horribly stupid thing for me to do. And anyway, if I can't trust you, how do I know you're even telling me the truth about Jasper? Maybe he's the most un-vampire of all of you!"

"Un-vampire?" I laughed.

"You know what I mean!" she huffed.

"Anyway… when you were with Jazz, Alice was there too, right?"

"Well… yeah. We're friends. That started through you, but it didn't end because of you. She hung out while Jazz tutored me."

I nodded. "You can trust Alice."

"But not you..." she teased.

"Alice and me. I am in control. I love you too much to ever cause you any harm. And Alice is different."

"You're ALL different, Iceman. That's not a newsflash!" She giggled as she kicked off her shoes and put her feet up on the dashboard. "You're all freaks… well, except for Esme. She's such a sweetheart. And now that I know none of you eat, I feel like a total pig that she kept her fridge stocked just for me! She COOKED, Edward. For me!"

I chuckled. "Mm-hmm. That's Esme."

"I adore her. Carlisle's great too. I'm a little pissed at Alice though."

"For the lies?"

Bella nodded with her brow furrowed, her head down.

"She didn't want to. I would bet that she's already planning a sleep-over…"

"Where I'm the only one sleeping…" she interrupted.

"Well, yeah. But she'll chew your ear off before you conk out, telling you everything you ever wanted to know and a whole lot of shit you'll wish she'd kept to herself."

"Does she know that I know?" Bella's eyes were wide with excitement. "When did you talk to her?"

"I haven't… but she knows." Glancing over, I saw that she knew she was about to get another shocking piece of our lives. Her feet came down and she twisted her body to face me.

"You said you're the only one who reads minds."

"I am. Alice does something entirely different; she can see the future."

"Get the fuck OUT! No WAY! Oh man, that would be so cool… so she saw this?"

I shrugged. "Somewhat. Her visions aren't always clear and her interpretations can sometimes steer us in the wrong direction, but generally… she's usually right. She's seen a lot of what's happened with us, before it happened. She knew you were soul mate. She knew you could be trusted. She knew you'd… I've never felt desirable…lovable. Alice knew you would change that for me; that you wouldn't be put off by my freakishness." I chuckled to cover my embarrassment in admitting that to her.

"She saw us doing it? Oh god… I think that's worse than you reading my thoughts!" She buried her face in her hands. "So embarrassing. How can I face her now?"

"I do. You get used to it. I know every intimate detail of all of their sex lives, and I keep it to myself. Alice does the same… usually. But she does like to gloat. And she's really into 'girl talk'. I have to go far away when her and Rose get time alone together, all they do is talk about sex. And since they only have sex with their respective partners… I know my brothers intimately as well. It's pretty gross."

"Ugh! Can she see the past too? Does she know what I used to be like?"

"No, honey…don't worry about that. First off, unless you told her, she doesn't know. I didn't say anything and it has nothing to do with the future, so she wouldn't pick up on it. Listen, I didn't tell you this so you'd have an anxiety attack over my sister knowing we have sex."

"And how we do it, and where and when…"

"Okay, move on Bella," I teased. "I told you because she sees Jasper more clearly than anyone. She knows exactly what he will do and so, when she says it's safe for you to be with him, you can trust her."

"But not Jazz."

I scratched at my head. The whole deal with Jasper was really complex. "Jazz has his own… um… special talent so only Alice really knows when he's fully trustworthy."

"Oh fuck. What can he do? Mind control?"

"No! Just mood control…" I slipped in nonchalantly.

"Holy fuck. Okay Edward. Lay it out… what do each of you do that will, in essence, mean I never make another move without being self-conscious about it?"

"That's it, I swear."

"Emmett can't transform and Rose, teleport? Esme can't assume my identity? Carlisle can't… well, I guess his special talent is successfully changing humans into vampires. No big."

"No, Bella. I read thoughts, Alice sees the future, Jasper can control moods; no other surprises."

"Hmph. We'll see…"

"Trust me…" I said in a teasing tone. I was handed another slap and then she sat, quietly mulling over the newest information as she rubbed her sore hand. Eventually, she dozed.

An hour or so from home, I decided to pull over and have a quick hunt. Alice had texted me a warning that Phil was not pleased. If I didn't feed, my temper would get the better of me and I'd get rid of him for Renee and Bella – permanently.

When I returned, a cruiser was nose to nose with my car, lights flashing. What the fuck? I'd only been gone 10 or 15 minutes at the most! I ran up at human speed and put on my most innocent, confused human face. "Is there a problem officer?"

"This your car, son?"

"Yes sir. Here's my licence… registration… insurance…" I handed everything over politely.

He glanced over them and nodded. "Wait by my car please."

I stood facing Bella. She looked as bewildered as I had. As he ran my plates through his computer, I focused in and saw he was checking for stolen vehicles, as well as run-aways. 'Dr Cullen's kid… hmmm… explains the nice car. I'd heard those kids were a handful, but they haven't caused any trouble here…' He stepped around the back of the car and leaned against it, arms folded across his chest. "What were you doing out there in the woods?"

"I uh…" I glanced over at Bella to make my embarrassment seem real. "I had to take a leak," I whispered.

"You were gone a while. I was here a good 5 minutes before you turned up."

"I went pretty far in. I didn't want her seeing… you know…"

"You think it's wise to leave a pretty young girl alone in the car at this time of the night?"

"No sir. That was reckless of me. I just… I really had to go."

He was buying it. Lucky I had spent so much time with a human to understand the urgency of that human act at times.

"Step over here with me. Let's have a chat." We walked to my car and he stopped beside Bella's open window. "Your parents know you're out here, miss? And who you're with?"

"Yeah! My mom's waiting for us. We're going home right now."

"We went to visit her brother, in Toronto."

His eyebrow raised. "Got his number?"

Lie Bella… start learning how to lie…

"Yeah, sure… um, give me a sec." She ran through her contacts and held it up for him to see. "Jake. He'll tell you all about our visit. Want my mom's number as well? I'm sure if you call my brother at this hour, he'll panic and call home too. That would freak her out even more than getting a call from the police."

Good girl! I smiled calmly at the officer as he turned back to me. "Take her straight home, you hear? And I don't want to catch you two out here again and son, don't leave this girl unattended like that - that's not how you treat a lady. Say hello to your dad for me." He tipped his hat, handed back our ID and waited for us to drive off.

"Bella! That was very quick thinking. Good for you!"

"Jake would've covered. No prob. He's cool like that."

"For such an honest person, you're a remarkable liar," I grinned at her. "Are you going to be okay doing a lot more of that?"

Smirking, she nodded as she gazed ahead. "It was kinda fun, actually."

"Hey, I have to ask you… do you still think you look old enough to pass for a young married woman? You do know that was all because he thought you were a runaway, getting yourself into a bad situation."

She poked her tongue out at me and sat in a huff.

"Yeah, that helps you seem much older. Much more mature…" I teased. It was a concern for me though. I didn't want to be pulled over for eternity, by cops questioning my motives with this teenaged girl. Give us a few years Bella, I pleaded silently. Wait until you're really certain. And really ready to give up ever growing up entirely, aging, having a family of your own.

The lights were on in Phil's house and when we pulled into the driveway, Renee ran out on the porch. Bella was unbuckling and opening the door even as I was coming to a stop. She ran to her mom and they hugged like they hadn't seen each other in years, not the few days we'd been gone. I hung back, giving them their moment.

"Edward, come over here!" Renee called out, wiping at her tears of joy. She held an arm out for me to join their huddle. "Thanks for keeping my baby girl safe out there. And bringing her home."

"Mom…"

"I know. I know, you've grown up Isabella. You're a smart, beautiful young woman who makes sage decisions. I'm so sorry I tried to stop you from doing what you needed to do honey. You were right. This was right for you. Maybe one day, I'll get there too."

Bella nodded, stroking her mother's shoulder to console her. "You can do it, Mom. You need to be happy too…"

"You decided to haul your sorry ass home huh?" Phil barked out from the porch. "Couldn't hack it on your own? Or is the boyfriend sick of you again already?"

"Phil!" Renee called out in reprimand.

"I never intended to stay. I did just what I went for and came home. And Edward is not going anywhere." She looked at me adoringly and took my hand.

"Not if I have anything to say about it…"

"You DON'T!" Bella and Renee replied together. Good for them.

"In case you've both lost your crackers, this is the same kid who convinced her to go off her meds, isolated her, did god knows what to her and ran like a weasel. Now he comes back, runs her halfway across the province for a reunion boink and you thank him? What the hell is going through your head woman?"

'Woman?'

I held in a snicker as all three of us had the same thought. Was this guy for real? "I took Bella to pay her respects to her brother and visit her friend, that was my only motive for running her halfway across the province. But yes, while we were together, we did a lot of talking and we have reunited. I know I made a mistake. But I'm here now and I'll make it up to her."

"Did you sleep with him?" Phil completely ignored my statement and glowered down at Bella.

"None of your fucking business!"

"Bella…" I said gently and pulled her slightly to the side. "Take it easy. This won't help."

"Phil, that was completely out of line," Renee spoke for her daughter. "If Bella and Edward have decided to pursue this relationship and take it to the next level, then that is their decision…"

"What is with you Renee? We agreed her whorish behaviour would stop when we came to live here!"

"Bella is not a whore!" I hissed, seething and disgusted with him. "She's a warm, loving girl with a good head on her shoulders. She's real and honest and if the rest of us were half as honest, we'd acknowledge that we've all done things we're ashamed of! Don't paint her as something she's not because she was misguided. And don't EVER speak about her that way again!"

Bella put both hands on my chest and pushed me back, walking with me. "Chill, Iceman. Your eyes…" she whispered as she gripped my shirt and held my gaze to calm me.

Alice had warned me… I hung my head and gripped her arms. "Sorry…"

Smirking, she gave me a wink before a deep, loving kiss. "Don't be. I love it. I love you."

"Get the hell off my property. And if I see you here again, I'm calling the cops." Phil acted out his bravado.

"For what?" Bella asked, amused. "For dating your girlfriend's almost legal daughter?"

"Almost legal. You're not an adult yet."

"And I'm not your responsibility. I'm not your kid. I'm not your anything." Bella was getting worked up again.

"Mmm, I should go. My being here is making it harder on you." I held her close and spoke softly. "I'll come back when they're asleep."

"Promise?" she smiled up at me.

"I swear on Riley, Elizabeth and Edward Sr that I will be by your side tonight, and every night until your end of time. I love you Bella Swan. More than you'll ever know."

She sucked in a breath as I kissed her, sobs about to overtake her.

"Don't cry, Bella. It breaks my heart." I had my forehead pressed against hers, her face in my hands. "Please don't let him get to you. Focus on your mother. Get things right with her. You'll regret it if you don't."

"I don't want you to go Edward," she sobbed quietly.

"I won't be far away. And I'll be back for you. Call me, if you need to before then. I'm here baby. I'm here for you."

Renee stepped towards us tentatively. "I feel awful. He had no right treating you that way. Of course you're welcome here."

I smiled at her kindly. She was genuine in her approval. "I really should go. I haven't been home yet and I have a lot of apologizing to do. My mother's not very pleased with me right now."

"Aw, she'll forgive you sweetie. Moms are like that." She gave Bella a squeeze and left us to say goodnight.

My family, of course, had Alice to let them know I was coming. They were all assembled in the garage when I pulled in. Alice was the first to greet me with a running hug and squeal. Em was next – choke hold. Rose unattached us and gave my cheek a kiss. Jasper patted my back and winked, standing nearby thereafter. Esme shook her head, began to speak but stopped and squeezed the shit out of me. Then she let me have it. Even with Jazz moderating her temperament, she was livid. I could say nothing. She was right about all of it – I was selfish to take off. I was thoughtless to do so without telling her and saying goodbye. I was an ingrate because I should know… I DID know that Esme would be torn apart by my actions, and Esme would never do anything to potentially hurt me. She had my best interests at heart; always.

Carlisle approached me with an understanding grin. He understood both of us… my need to escape and her sense of abandonment. "You know she'll get over this. She is glad you're home. We all are, son." He embraced me as he had thousands of times since we became father and son. "You know Esme is lost without you, Edward."

"Because he's her favourite…"Rosalie taunted, like she had a thousand times since joining us.

"This is not the time Rosalie," Carlisle admonished her without even glancing her way. Emmett took her arm and the four of them left us alone. "You, Edward, of all the kids, know how Esme holds every member of this family dear."

I nodded, eyes cast downward; too ashamed to look him in the eye. They had provided me with much more than I deserved and I had caused them anguish yet again. "I'll apologize. I'll make it up to her."

"You will," he nodded. "But you'll do more this time. You will ensure that you never hurt that woman this way again, Edward. We all have our sensitive areas and we all give allowances for them. I know you felt it necessary to leave in order to keep Bella safe; I'm assuming that you lost control? That you thought you would hurt her… I understand. This is your area; the one we all cater to for you…because we know you struggle with the morality of what we are. Esme's area is no less troublesome. Loss is a horrible thing to overcome. Some simply can't, son."

"I know that," I said in quiet acknowledgement. I had just been by Bella's side as she dealt with it.

Carlisle looked away for the first time. "Rosalie may not be entirely wrong," he stated solemnly. "In a way, you are her favourite. You were her first. In her heart, you replaced the child she lost in human life. When you're gone… she relives that."

"I'm sorry." The damned lump was so huge in my throat, my words were muffled. And he couldn't read my thoughts so I had to voice them. "I hate that I've hurt her in any way. You have to believe I would never do that intentionally. You have to know how much both of you… ALL of you, mean to me. I've hated myself for so long, but I only have love for this family."

"And, for this girl…"

I nodded. "Carlisle… she knows."

He arched one brow, but his thoughts didn't accuse me of betrayal; they didn't judge me. "So, Esme will have one more to love? Nice way to make up to her." He smiled sincerely and embraced me again.

"Carlisle, please forgive me… I'm truly sorry…"

"You're forgiven, son. You're forgiven."

I clung to him, reading everything that he gave me forgiveness for… big and small. All sense of time was lost to me as I loved him more for each pardon he granted me.

"I think you've done a lot of growing this past year," he said softly. "At the ripe age of 108, I think you're finally old enough to settle down."

We shared a good laugh before seeking out the others to tell them my news. Alice had kept it to herself, for once. Astonishing, because this was the biggest change to this coven in a long while. It would affect each of us, and as we all knew, there was no room for mistakes and no turning back.

The only way you'll ever learn a thing
Is to admit that you know absolutely nothing
Oh nothing
Think about this carefully
You might not get another chance to speak freely
Oh freely
Maybe when you're old enough…

(The Raconteurs)