~Disclaimer: refer to earlier chapters~

Well I finally found a little time to get writing again since I'm on spring break. No more work piling up because I already have everything I need to do. So hopefully I can get a few chapters done before I go back to school.

Anyways things have been stressful as of late. Things aren't going to plan but when do they ever go to plan? So I'm trying to get writing again but when you are stressed out, it's hard to find the inspiration for more chapters, so bare with me.

There have been some questions on if I am going to be abandoning any of my stories and the answer is I'm not. I'm a start and don't stop till it's finished kind of person, so no worries on that. But I'm looking for a beta to work with me on all my stories. So if anyone is interested, I'd love to work with someone because it would help me in getting more chapters out faster. So just send me a message and or review saying you are interested and we can speak about it.

Chapter: 36

Hopeless.

That's how I feel at this moment. As I stand here in battle with a torn leg, throwing another curse at a mask covered wizard, trying to protect my own. The on slaughter didn't seem to have an end. More and more just keep coming in a slow painful battle.

Everything moved so slowly. I could see everything. Feel everything. And it scared me. From all the knowledge I gained from reading and experiences throughout the years, the only time I've ever heard or felt this sensation was when death was closing in. But in this moment that probably one of the dumbest things to say due to the fact death was all around. Breathing down our necks waiting for that one moment where we are passed the point of all return.

Leaning back against Ginny's back for support as one of her hands reach for mine and linked together our fingers. I could feel every breath she took, her beat of her heart, and maybe even the surge of her magick with ever spell.

'Could this be the end?' It almost seems like it could. We are the weaker army. The lesser of all sides and the feeling of hopelessness brew strong within me.

But maybe there was a way….a hope that we all could come out of this alive…maybe…

Save me

Harry Potter

Anger.

Someone had once told me that anger would get me no where if I couldn't control it. That anger is like angry beast that snaps out of line of society's norms and works for nothing but to destroy. Anger gives you power. But like all power, if you can't control it then it's worth nothing more than a broken arm.

I have learned over the years how to control my anger. From my uncle beating me and treating like trash along with his wife and son. To Malfoy's constant harassment and schemes to get me in trouble. To Voldemort killing everything and everyone I love. To Dumbledore's controlling nature over my actions and having me do his dirty work. To Snape's bitching and hate. From Ron's ever changing attitude towards me. To everyone's expectations. To having nothing to start with.

I spent a lot of my young life wondering why I didn't have a loving family. Why was I the freak that everyone hated and beat?

I never came up with an answer. But I remember the feeling of anger brewing within me every day, telling me I could easily make them all pay. I never did for the most part.

I did lose control a couple times but not so far to the point the angry me wanted. I was always angry until something changed. Malfoy staring Ron down and biting back when he went after Pansy and then left. Then Hermione breaking the trio and going on a shopping trip with the Slytherin group and Ginny. The actually meeting Draco, Pansy and Blaise. Not Malfoy, Parkinson and Zabini. Following friendship class and growing closer to Draco and his group. To somewhere falling in love with him then gaining my family, my real family back and a new one with it.

A lot of the anger began to disappear. I began to feel like I belong somewhere. Then it was ripped apart again by him. Dumbledore never looked so smug then when our attacks missed. With every wasted attack that didn't hit its target was a more chance that I would lose Draco.

With every passing moment was another friend dead. Another life lost for a cause that they believe in.

I am so angry right now. I can feel every part of me pulsing with hatred as I watched the old man dance and attack my father again. I must keep attacking and never letting up, never giving up. Not when my future was dangling off his belt.

I will not give up.

Save me

Remus Lupin.

Fear.

Being a werewolf, I know what fear was. I know its taste, smell, look and feel. Fear was no stranger to me. I never knew my parents. I never knew any type of family until I met Sirius, James and Pettigrew. They were the best things that ever happen to me until thread broke.

When Pettigrew betray us. When I found out that James had been nothing but an illusion. I had feared that Sirius would leave me too. But my mate loves me more than the sun but something was still missing from our circle. We both knew what or who it was but neither of us made a move in fear of rejection. And in the end I don't know if it turned out to be the better choice or not.

I'm scared right now. I fear for all our lives.

I fear for the young children that fight with us and against us. So young, too young to be in a war where they fight for the right to live another day. I fear for people that seemed to have become part of my mate's family. Already injured and still so young and already know too much of the ugly in this world.

I fear for my mate. My strong beautiful mate that is fighting beside me after coming back from the dead to save the people that matter to him…and me. I fear for my Draco, Harry, Cassie, and Severus. I also fear for myself. Will I survive this? Or will I lose everything in this battle?

I feared what the outcome could possibly be. Even as I let the wolf in me control everything and take out our enemies and protect those who we can. It all still seemed like a coin toss. One that I didn't want to lose but….

I was never much of a gambler.

Save me

Cassie Black

Need.

There is so much I need to do. I was needed to be elsewhere. Needed by people. But I couldn't be there. No I have to sit here and wait until my body recovers my magick while every passing second means a missed opportunity to help someone and possibly save a life or end this war.

Elorna kept watch from a distance. Making sure I won't run off until I could be of use. No matter how much I was needed, I needed to sit and wait for my body to recover.

Need.

I needed a lot of things. I need my dad back. I need my mother back. I need Draco sitting with me joking and safe away from danger. I need to feel safe.

But as I sit here on this ash covered ground, breathing heavier than normal I had none of that. I have nothing and with every passing moment I could soon have even less. Glancing at Elorna I couldn't help but wonder that maybe this is how she had felt. She was needed and she answered before she should and her reward is to be trapped her below the place she protected with her life only to have it in war again.

A sigh passed my lips that made the ashes stir and flutter around before settling again. Chaos came from peace and from chaos came peace. Without one there cannot be another. It was the balance of nature. Just like light and darkness.

Just like light and darkness…

Well that's all for this chapter. I'm trying to figure out where I want to go with this story since it's been a while since I've worked on it. But no worries I guess since I'm slowly making progress with it. But please tell me what you think and leave a review and thanks for reading.