Solas once more found himself unable to settle. His latest attempt being in the form of a book. No matter how he tried his brain would not focus on the words. He shut the book sliding it away from him before he pinched the bridge of his nose.
It had been hours. What could she possibly be doing? Did she truly intend to completely ignore his request? He interlaced his fingers, placing his chin on them as she stared at his desk with furrowed brows. His eyes landed on the notebook he had sketched the rune in.
He straightened reaching for it and turning to the desired page. The rune had to be perfect. It would not only serve as a protection for her but also have the capability to help him know her more. At this point it had become imperative he find out exactly who or what she was.
It had long since been a realization of his that she would not tell him herself. This was confirmed with the incident at the Breach. Whatever had happened must have frightened her. Yet she still only fed him half truths.
So he had done what he must. In the rune he had spun something extra. It would allow him to monitor her. He would know her location when he was in the Fade as well as be able to listen to her conversations when he desired. He would not abuse it. The only time he would use it was when he felt it was necessary or would give him information. He had no doubt she was sharing things with Sherlock that she shared with no one else.
Still, she would hate him for it if she ever discovered it. A pang of guilt hit him as his finger traced the rune. He forced it to the side.
He would do what he must. To protect her. To protect him. To ensure the end result he needed. His goals were more essential than her affection towards him. More important than his very existence. Certainly vastly more important than any lust driven fascination he had with her.
If she was a potential threat through whatever this entity was it had to be dealt with. By whatever means necessary. It mattered little how he might despise it. He had done many things he despised and would be forced to do many more.
To fix his mistake. To save his people. For this he would burn this slow muted world and damn himself along with it.
This was a truth he had long ago accepted. Why then did he find it difficult to swallow the thought of losing her before he had even had the chance to have her?
In another world he would have treasured her. In another world he would have truly known her. Known her mind, body, and spirit. He would have had her know him. Little good it did him to ponder such things that could never be. Yet, that desire seemed to have securely settled itself in the back of his mind with no sign of releasing him.
Willpower. His willpower would see him through this. Nothing could sway him from the path he must take. Nothing.
His resolve strengthened, he let his eyes go to glance out of his window. There was no sunlight left behind the curtains. She really had ignored his request. Stubborn woman. He was not even sure what he had done to earn her ire but if he must he would go to her. This rune had to be done.
Just as he was standing there was a series of three knocks on his door. Then he heard her calling his name through the wood. As he started over to the door three more knocks hit and then his name again.
She has no patien-
More knocking and he swung the door open. She actually reached in to knock on the door one last time and said his name again. Then she broke into a fit of giggles.
He felt his nails dig into the wood of the door, "One would have been adequate."
The irritation at her tardiness, along with her seemingly complete carefree attitude when so much was at risk, sent a sliver of irritation through him. His eyes took in her face. The cheeks were flushed red. She was speaking but he couldn't make out the words clearly between her giggling and the rushed slurring.
So perhaps it wasn't a carefree attitude. She had gotten herself drunk. Something he found wildly inappropriate given the circumstances. Did she have no concern for her own-
She made an attempt to enter. In the process she fell against him. Before her body could continue its descent past him and onto the floor he wrapped his arm around her pulling her firmer to him.
Then he felt her fingers brush along his jawline. Traitorous thing that this body was he actually trembled at her touch. His breath catching in his throat as he worked to gain control again. Though he stopped the trembling almost instantly his lower organ was not as easily dissuaded.
One benefit to her being like this was her usually keen senses did not seem to notice his reaction in the least. Instead she had now finished talking nonsense about his jaw and was making some sounds he assumed were meant to be a song of some sort. Then she abruptly broke into giggles again burying her face against him as her body shook with mirth.
What he needed to do was get her off of him. He sighed but continued to keep her against him as he used his free arm to shut the door, "You are drunk."
She pushed away from him with such force he was positive she would fall. Somehow she managed to keep herself upright before stating in the clearest sentence she had used that night that his face was drunk.
His fingers ached to reach out and pull her to him again. Instead he swallowed and kept his voice flat as he responded, "I was unaware a face had that capability." He followed her as she made for his bed, "Inform me if you will need a bucket."
She blew a blast of air from her mouth that reminded him of Sera. That took care of his arousal a bit at least. Then she said something about Ralf.
"Ralf?"
She clarified, "Vomit."
That was a word for vomit he was unfamiliar with. Though perhaps that was less her being different and more him not socializing with anyone out of the Fade for so many centuries.
His attention was brought back to her when she let out a contented humm from the back of her throat. At this point she was face down on his bed. Bent over it in truth. It gave him a chance to truly see the soft curve her thighs and the perfect roundness of her-
"How do your sheets smell so good? Is there an app for that?"
She broke into more giggles. It should have been enough to snap him out of it. Instead all he could truly focus on was that how she thought his sheets smelled good. How she was practically offering her rear up to him like the most succulent of desserts. What he would not give to-
Enough. I am better than this.
He took a deep breath and worked to force the lewd thoughts from his mind. To do that he certainly had to get her out of that position. So he went over to help her stretch out on the bed. He spoke as he finished settling her into place, "I am unsure what an app is."
She mumbled something that sounded like don't worry. The fact she was drunk and he was…
It did not matter. He had to keep control. This rune must be finished tonight.
"Very well." He went to collect the paint, the brush, and the rune design so he could get this over with, "This was not how I had hoped this would happen but it must be done. Undress. Waist up."
He was picking out the correct brush when he heard her groan before saying, "If I thought you'd be that type I would have never come. Even if's tempting."
He grabbed the brush he needed and turned to look at her. His eyes furrowing as he tried to puzzle out what she was talking about now. "Pardon?"
"Drunk doesn't mean I came here for… you know… not that I wou- I mean…"
Comprehension dawned on him. She had thought he was going to take her now. A foolish and frankly insulting thought. If he took her it would be willingly.
If he took her it would be when they were both lucid. If he took her he wanted her to know every moment of it. He wanted to make her feel things she had never felt. He wanted her aware for every touch, taste, and thrust. To make her body crazy from lust. To hear her moaning and crying out his name as she begged him for more.
He felt an unmistakable pull in his leggings and hoped she was too drunk to notice. It would not due for her to know the extent of his lust. Much less for her to think he would even consider taking her now.
"That is…" His voice sounded weak so he swallowed and started again. Careful to keep his tone as flat as he could manage, "You misunderstand. I am placing a protection rune on you. I need an area on your skin with room. The back seemed the best option. Take of your top and roll onto your stomach. I would not take advantage of you." He turned his body from her to face the bookshelf. "Tell me when you are ready."
He shut his eyes as he waited. Tried to focus on calming himself. The air going into his lungs. The wood beneath his feet, grounding him. The clothes pressed uncomfortable against his now highly sensitive skin.
This was not helping.
"Ok. Done."
He turned to face her and almost dropped the items he held. The breath sucked right out of him. He had healed her back before after the demon had slashed her. It was not as though this was his first time seeing the bare expanse of her back. He had not expected this reaction to her topless on his bed. Her breasts pressed into his mattress so that he could just make out the lush curve of them. His fingers twitched as he thought how perfectly that soft flesh would fill his hand.
Just like that the partial arousal he had been attempting to fight was partial no more. This was truly getting absurd.
"Solas?" Her voice was quiet. Uncertain.
Somehow he managed to choke out, "I am here." and snap himself out of it so he could go to her. He set down next to her on the bed placing his things on the other side of her legs. There was no reason for him to lose control. He just needed to finish this.
He dipped the brush in the paint and said, "This may tickle."
"I'm not-" her body shivered and he clenched the hand he wasn't using into a tight fist on his hip. She continued, "ticklish. Are you painting it on?"
"In a way. The ink is my own mixture. It will stay for a month. You will hopefully have no need for it after that."
As he brushed the rune into place his eyes stopped for a moment on the long scars now running in a diagonal along the expanse of her back. They did nothing to deter from the beauty of her body. The soft curve of her back bone, the dip in her waist, and the little dimples just visible above her pants.
He realized he had stopped placing the rune and focused on the task once more.
"What's it do?"
Always curious, his Emma. He would give her its main function at least. "Allows me to know if you are in danger." Knowing she would press for more if allowed he changed the subject to the only thing he could think might throw her, "My bed has a smell?"
"Yes. Parchment. Elfroot. Ink."
He could not help the chuckle that came forth at her comment, "Interesting. And what else does that clever nose of yours smell?"
"You."
His heart constricted for a moment distracting him once more from the rune. He managed to force his brain back to the task but could not resist the next question, "Me?"
"Your scent. Your skin. Like… an ancient forest meadow. A sanctuary untouched. A safe haven. Woodsy and sun-kissed, comforting." Her voice was dreamy as she continued, "If I forget everything else I'll remember the scent of your skin for the rest of my life."
His heart hammered in his rib cage accompanied by an uncomfortable fluttering in his stomach. To try and regain himself he shifted and added more paint to the brush before he continued and somehow managed to form cohesive words, "I had thought you would not come tonight. Much less tell me all this."
She laughed and the sound warmed him to his very core.
"I wasn't going to come. But my head's… not cooperating. As for the telling, I always seem to say more then I intend to, or should, with you."
This is a chance. Take it. Get the truth. Focus.
"You have not said nearly enough in truth. But I am a patient man."
"I've not said nearly enough about your scent or about things in general?"
Now he could use his previous experience in the game. He had used flirting before to get information. If the flirting was more near a deeper truth than he cared to look at that was not of concern at the moment. He needed her to tell him, everything.
When he spoke his words were deliberate, "About you."
All that was left of the rune was the inner design that would allow him to listen to her. If she gave it to him now there would be no need for it. That would be ideal. He would certainly know if she was lying in which case he could simply add it in later.
He stopped the brush placing it quietly in the bowl of paint as he made his voice even more intimate. A caress to her, "I would know you, Emma."
"Tell me about… stuff…"
She was fumbling. He was close. Just a bit more and she would tell him. He chuckled warmly, "Stuff?"
"Hmmmm," He could barely make out one side of her mouth curving up into a smile as she said, "Tell me the translation for what you said before, the elvhen."
Of course. She had her eyes set on the language for sometime now. Much as his had been set on her, French. Still it would not due to give in now. He needed to keep pulling her in.
"No." He kept his tone light, teasing.
"Oh come on not like I'm gonna remember anything about this. Can't you just teach me a little Elvhen or…" She paused the side of her mouth he could see now turning into a frown, "Or would it be wrong because I'm not…"
"Elven?"
When she spoke her voice was quiet once more, "Yes."
He wanted to brush the worry that had began to form on her brow. Instead he spoke, "No. If I taught you it would mean I could not do things like this." He leaned down to her. His lips merely a hair's breadth from her ear as he whispered the truth of some of his desires towards her. What he would do to her if he could, "Silal or ma tu elvar. Isalan hima sa i'na. Ar nuvena jutuan ma ir rosas'da'din, ma tel'aman melin."
There was a pause then she said, "Solas…" her voice so heavy with desire that he actually felt his already painfully hard erection twitch, "I should leave. Is the thing finished?"
There was still a chance to get the truth from her. He was so close. So he kept his mind away from his need as best he could. Kept his tone teasing as he responded, "Yes. Why?" He pulled from her so he wouldn't be tempted to trail his lips and tongue down her spine. To taste the salt of her skin.
Focus.
"Do I make unpleasant company, Emma?"
He said her name knowing it's affect on her. The intent, as far as he told himself, had merely been to keep her with him longer. To continue paving the way for her to give him the truth of it all.
Instead she mumbled something and before he could react had set up twisting herself towards him. It was done so swiftly he did not see anything. He did not see her bare chest but he certainly felt it now. The flesh of her breasts pressed into his chest. The tiniest hint of her nipples amongst all that softness.
As if entirely separate from the logic of his mind his arms came up to wrap around her. His head going down to press his cheek against the silkiness of her hair. They simply set there like that. For how long he could not be sure. All he knew was that it was too long for a thing that he should not have allowed to begin with.
He was careful to keep his eyes trained on the space over her shoulder as he pushed her away. One of his hands went to grab a blanket and he wrapped it around her shoulders being careful not to actually touch her skin again lest he lose himself.
When he was sure she had covered herself completely he let his eyes go down to her face. She was nibbling on her lower lip her long lashes hiding the blue of her eyes as she looked down.
Just as he was about to speak her eyes lifted to catch his own and she spoke first, "Why do you not want me?"
The despair in her words made his stomach twist. How wrong she was. So very wrong. He wanted her more than he had ever wanted any woman before her. It had become an ache in his very bones.
He took a deep shuddering breath. Just once. He would say it out loud just once. Then he would make her forget. She would not suspect he did it. When she woke if she could not remember any of this she would simply blame the drink.
He allowed his hand to come up to cup her cheek. Brushed his thumb against her cheekbone as he spoke, "I want you. I have envisioned every scenario imaginable of having you. This was not one of them. Get rest. Forget."
The magic flowed from his hand into her. He watched her awareness leave her. Watched as her eyes fluttered closed and caught her when she slumped against him. He whispered into her hair that he was sorry.
He was sorry for even thinking of tricking her. Sorry for taking something so pure and trying to twist it. He would get her to tell him but when the time was right. No more tricks. Till she was ready he would simply watch her and make sure nothing got near enough to do any damage.
Careful not to reveal anything he laid her down on his bed. He bent down to the floor to collect her top and cloak. The cloak he wrapped around her tucking her and his blanket into its folds. The top he folded before placing it on her stomach. It was dark. If anyone did see them passing hopefully no one would notice the top.
That done he got one arm under her knees and the other under her upper back as he lifted her against him. He looked down at her again to make sure she was completely covered before he made his way out his lodging. Without any hands he used his magic to open and shut the door behind him.
When he got to her cabin he used his magic to unlock her door and let himself in, using his foot to close it quietly behind him. He took her to her bed then went through the process of rolling her to her stomach before removing the cloak and his blanket. Being very aware not to let his eyes wander he bundled her in her own furs.
He paused then looking at her sleeping form. Her lips parted a touch and she gave a small satisfied release of air as she turned onto her back. It was good he had managed to keep her sound asleep.
His hand reached forward and he used his fingers to lift a curl that had fallen across her face. His touch lingering against her cheek once again. Then unable to resist he bent over and gave her a light kiss on her forehead.
"Son era, my Emma."
Then he left to go to his own lodging. As he walked he thought of when he would see her again in the Fade. She would not remember tonight but he would. What he had to do was get his emotions in check around her. Not since his youth had they been so volatile.
If he wished to truly teach her however he could not allow for emotions to take over. He did need to teach her. She was more than capable of caring for herself once she was confident. He needed her to know that. Needed her to be able to fight the battles that would be ahead of her. For as long as she could he needed her to be alright when he could no longer be there.