Chapter 37

Rowan's Point of View

After leaving Opie's, Jax and I took the stuff they'd given him back to his place and we went our separate ways for the day. I had to go help Gemma set up her booth at the high school and he had to go see a friend up at Stockton State Penitentiary with Clay. Some guy named Otto. I didn't ask any questions about why or what was going on and Jax didn't give me anything to go on. It wasn't really my business anyway. We made plans to see each other later at St. Thomas.

I was standing in between Gemma and her friend Luanne whom I'd met at dinner a few weeks back, opening paper plate bowls and stacking them next to the crock pot sitting on the table. Apparently this year the SAMCRO booth was selling Gemma's home-cooked chili. I glanced around hesitantly watching other people set up their game booths and other food booths looking for that one prick I didn't want to run into. I hadn't been followed here, which was a bit of a relief after finding my tire slashed this morning.

Jax and I were officially together now and I couldn't be happier about that, but I also felt this sickening feeling growing in my stomach every time he looked at me with those piercing blue eyes of his. I was lying to him about Jerry and what's going on. I even wondered if I was lying to myself too. What if I can't handle being with Jax? What if the club and this life is just completely out of my league? What if I'm not good enough and he finds someone better? What if I end up getting my heart broken?

All of these doubts and what ifs were poisoning my mind. Heartbreak is inevitable no matter who you're with. But I truly believe that Jax is worth the risk. This thing with Jerry is just making me paranoid on all fronts.

"Tell everyone to leave room for the buses." Gemma instructed Luanne tossing some plastic into the trash bins we'd set up behind us.

"Who we bussing?" She asked, as I spotted Chief Unser across the court yard talking to a few officers setting up the Charming PD's booth. From the looks of it they were going to be grilling this year.

I opened a few table cloths and spread them out over the tables in the grass in front of Gemma's booth. Unser spotted me and waved; I smiled and waved back at him. It had been a while since I'd last seen him at the hospital.

"Oakdale Assisted Living. Seniors are all compulsive gamblers. Triples our raffle dollars." Gemma said, giving Luanne a coy smile. Conning old people out of their money. Classy. Although sort of genius. My grandma on my mothers side was a stickler for buying scratch off tickets before she passed away. She'd blow hundreds of dollars on them and wouldn't win a damn dime. We found tons of them stashed in bags in her basement when my mom and I cleaned it out. Why she hoarded them I'll never know.

Thinking about my grandma made me wonder what Deacons parents were like. Did I have more relatives I didn't know anything about? I made a mental sticky note in my brain to grill the old man about it later. Old man? Man, that's still so weird to even think about. I'm not sure if I'll ever be comfortable calling him dad.

"God bless Social Security." I blurted out causing Luanne to chuckle. I thought I spotted a smile forming on Gemma's face but couldn't exactly be sure. Sometimes I wondered if she was afraid to smile, like maybe she thought her face would freeze that way.

I was finishing up placing the last table cloth on the picnic table furthest from the booth when I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I jumped, startled and turned to see Gemma standing behind me. "Jesus. Have you ever considered wearing a cat bell? You've got to stop sneaking up on people like that."

"Real cute," Gemma rolled her eyes, then stared at me pointedly. "I noticed you're carrying the handgun I gave you. That's good." She said in a low voice as I glanced over my shoulder to see my bag sitting on the table by the crock pot where I hadn't left it. I'd placed it underneath the table in the grass out of the way.

"You went through my bag?" I glared at her crossing my arms over my chest.

"I'm very observant."

"So you observantly went through my bag then?" If I went through her bag, I think I'd have a size nine heel up my ass at the moment.

Gemma was about to say something snarky in response to my comment when a woman with short brunette hair approached us. She was older around Gemma's age perhaps. Definitely a mom.

"Hey, April." Gemma said, giving her a curt smile. "Thanks for coming by and helping out."

"Oh, it's no problem. Can I ask you something?" April questioned, squinting in the sunlight to look at Gemma. I glanced over towards Unser involuntarily. Everything in me wanted to do something to make Jerry back off. But I was at a loss for what I could do. Talking to the cops wasn't something I wanted to have to do.

But as much as I didn't want to admit it, I think it's coming to that.

"What's up?" Gemma said, intrigued.

"Charlie's band's playing during the fireworks tomorrow night. He really wants his dad to come." April started to explain. She glanced down at her palms and back up at Gemma.

"Shit, April, I don't think Clay is going to go for that." Gemma shook her and let out a breath.

"I would never ask anything like this. Me and you, we understand what went down, but my kid. Charlie doesn't know. It breaks his heart that his dad can't come to anything around here. No baseball games, no school stuff." April went on, a slight crack in her voice. Geez. What the hell did her husband do to piss of Clay so badly he can't show his face in Charming?

Gemma raised a hand, silencing April. "All right, all right, all right. I'll bring it up to Clay. But I can't promise you anything."

"Thank you." April smiled, grateful. She gave me a small smile and nod of the head before walking off.

Gemma sighed as she lit up a cigarette. She took a few long drags off of it before glancing at me.

"What's the story with that?" I questioned out of curiosity. I slipped my hands into the backs of my pockets and looked at Gemma.

"Her old mans the reason Opie went to jail for five years. Bastard Kyle left Opie high and dry on a job when he heard sirens. He's excommunicated. Him keeping his distance is for his own safety." Gemma explained as she sat down at one of the picnic tables. I'm guessing excommunicated means Kyle was kicked out of SAMCRO.

"Jesus," I muttered shaking my head. "I met Opie this morning." Jax had told me Opie had just gotten out of jail a few weeks ago. He never told me what for though.

"Oh really?" Gemma's eyebrow arched.

I nodded. "Jax had to pick up some stuff for Abel this morning and he asked me to meet him."

"This morning? Meaning you spent the night at Jax's?" Gemma grilled me. I scratched the back of my neck and then gathered up the trash from the packets of table clothes that I'd opened feeling like I'd just stepped into a land mine. "You and Jax have been getting pretty cozy with each other lately. Long day rides and dinners at his place. Where you two headed with all that?"

I felt like I was on trial here. I half laughed nervously and looked over my shoulder at Gemma as I tossed something into the trash bin. "We're seeing where things go."

Gemma nodded her head, mulling that over. She stood up and walked towards me. "And does Jax know your packing a handgun that I gave you? Or the reason why you might need one?"

"No. And I'd like to keep it that way." I replied sternly.

Gemma nodded her head, accepting that.

"My son is in a really odd place right now. He's got a lot of weight on his shoulders with a newborn son and the club." Gemma said, eyeing me suspiciously the entire time. "Those two things will never disappear. Can you handle that?"

"I guess we will find out." I said honestly.

"No, sweetheart. There ain't no guessing. You're either in or your out. Jax's heart has already been broken once. I won't let it happen again."

She patted me on the shoulder before walking back behind the booth again to continuing setting things up.

I wanted things between Jax and I to work. But I'm still learning how I fit into the SAMCRO world.

I spotted Unser walking away from his booth out of the corner of my eye and felt my feet moving before I even knew what was going on. I jogged across the court yard to catch up with him as he walked towards the parking lot where his cruiser sat waiting for him. "Hey Unser!" I called out, slowing down to a walk.

"Hey there, sweetheart." He gave me a smile turning to face me. His eyes wrinkled when he smiled.

"How are you? How's Della?" I asked, stopping in front of him and placing my hands on my hips. I was a little out of breath from running. Haven't done that in a while.

"I'm still kicking. Della is Della, she's alright. Up at her momma's for the weekend." He replied, jangling the keys to his cruiser in his hands. He seemed a little off at the mention of his wife which I found odd. He always loved to talk about her with my mom during treatments.

"I dropped by an saw your momma the other day. She told me she stopped treatments. I'm real sorry, darling." Unser patted my shoulder lightly.

"Me too."

"You let me know if you need anything." Unser gave me a stern look. He was a very sweet old man that I'd come to care for a lot. He reminded me a lot of my grandfather. In the way that he spoke and carried himself.

"Well actually that's kinda why I'm over here. I have a question for you from a friend." I lied, trying to go about this in a round about way.

"Okay shoot."

"My friend is having some issues with this guy. He's made it clear that he's interested in her but she's not interested in him at all. Like at ALL. And he's started to stalk her a bit I guess you could say." I started to explain things slowly. I chewed on the inside of my lip and shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

I hated lying. I wasn't good at it.

"What do you mean a bit?" Unser pried, curiously..

"He's been following her. Watching her. Leaving things on her car and slashed her tire here recently." I opened up a bit feeling my chest constrict. I glanced around the parking lot warily and discreetly feeling very exposed standing here talking to Unser.

"Well, my advice to your 'friend' would be to come down to the station and fill out a police report and we'll get started on getting this 'friend' a protective order." Unser replied, looking at me suspiciously. A protection order? What good is that going to do? It'll be like a restraining order.

"What would that do exactly?" I questioned.

"Well the guy with be served with the protective order and if he comes near her, she calls us and we lock him up." Unser explained. The radio inside the car crackled and a few officers talked in codes.

"Wouldn't he just get bailed out of jail though?"

"Possibly." And that would probably just piss him off more. What's a little piece of paper going to do? I can throw it in his face? Something tells me a protective order isn't going to make Jerry back off.

I ran a hand down the side of my face, shaking my head. "Okay, well I won't hold you up, I will let her know what you said though. Thanks Unser." I gave him a kiss on the cheek and then started to walk backwards away from him.

"Sure thing, and darling if this friend of yours turns out to be you, don't hesitate coming down to the station. You hear me?" He said, before getting into his car. He stared at me with concern etched onto his features.

I saluted him with a weak smile. I'm so screwed…

A/N: Hiya guys! This was just a small filler chapter! Sorry it took so long! I've had some family matters to deal with and I actually got a smal gig creating a logo for my Uncle!

I just wanted to say thank you so much for all the reviews and comments! It's what keeps me going! I know the site has been acting weird and it's not displaying your reviews but I am getting email notifications for them and the counter on the story is going up so when the site gets fixed they'll show up!

BUT I AM STILL SEEING AND LOVING YOUR REVIEWS! :)