I didn't see any of them again for a week and a half after the nightmares ended. I tried so many times to make myself got to school, act as though nothing had happened, that I was fine, that I wasn't doubting my self-control, or my sanity.

But I couldn't do it.

I couldn't face even the thought of looking into Willow's big brown eyes and pretending to be fine, continuing the façade of being a harmless, beneficent creature who only wanted to help. To pretend not to feel the predator instincts I was feeling now more than I had in over a century.

Ever since I had made the kill, I hadn't even had any blood-packs. I'd starved myself for as long as possible, then gone hunting for another coyote. When those couldn't be found, I simply caught squirrels and drank them instead.

I was terrified of feeling even slightly desirous for the taste of human blood again. Even if it wasn't fresh, I didn't trust myself with blood-packs. Not yet.

Perhaps in time I would again, but for now I had to be especially cautious.

Another reason I was hesitant to make an appearance was because I knew by now Giles had told Buffy that I had fed from him. I didn't know if she would be angry, but she would definitely be wary of me again, and if she was already on her guard, she would know right away I was hiding something else.

Huddled in my crumbling flat, I sighed and leaned my forehead into my curled knees.

How on earth had I come to this? Hiding in a rathole of a building, afraid of myself, afraid of my friends, the people I loved, afraid to confess to what I really was.

Feeding from a Watcher, hiding from a Slayer, and not even a year ago I had been happily living in obscurity, keeping to myself, avoided by all, content if not happy at least.

And now what?

What was I?

The voice of my sire continually played through my head about this time. Calling me all the things I was calling myself, until their voices blended together and I couldn't tell where mine ended and his began.

Was I going mad?

Finally, at the beginning of the week, I decided I could hide away no longer. My absence would no doubt have been noted by now, and there were sure to be questions asked. If I stayed away even longer there would be concern and closer scrutiny, and I didn't want that, so I met up with them after school, in the library.

I didn't feel like being around so many children or I would have actually gone to classes, but I doubted it would make a difference in their reception of me.

"Well hello, stranger." Buffy said as I came through the library doors, keeping my head low. Her mouth quirked up in a smile, but her eyes flickered doubtfully from me to Giles, and back again.

Xander grinned and pushed himself off of the study table he'd been sitting on and trotted up to me, and before I realized what he was doing he'd swept me up in a big bear-hug and was spinning me around.

"Where have you been?" he asked, laughing as he set me back down and watched me stagger a bit from the wave of dizziness. "I thought you'd skipped town or something. We don't even have your address so we had no idea how to reach you. Ever hear of phones?"

I couldn't help but smile at Xander's prattle. Bless the boy but he had been genuinely concerned, and he was actually excited to see me. I hadn't expected that.

"I was around when the first phone call was made, son," I reminded him, "and I don't get sick." I smirked, "I just get injured."

Willow appeared from Giles' office, and let out a squeal of pleasure before rushing up to me in a flurry and gave me a shockingly fierce embrace. I say it was shocking because she really doesn't look all that strong.

"I've been so worried about you!" she said, finally pulling back. "Last time I saw you, you looked terrible. You know, from the whole nightmare thing."

"I vaguely recall that incident, yes." I chuckled.

"So where have you been?"

I turned and saw Giles emerging from the 'rare' section of the library, the locked area that held all of our Vampiric lore.

He too looked excited to see me, but like Buffy, there was something else in his eyes. That being said, Buffy's look had been decidedly more suspicious, whereas Giles was more concerned, and he looked me over critically, like a parent would a child whose been out far past their bed-time.

I'd seen the look pass between Buffy's mother and Buffy enough times to recognize it when I saw it.

"I've been resting." I said, which was true, in a way.

"So you have been sick!" Xander said triumphantly.

"No, no," I said hurriedly, "no, nothing so dramatic. I simply felt rather exhausted after our last adventure, and needed some time to recuperate, that's all."

The excuse didn't sound very convincing, even to me, and it was poorly delivered since I felt rather flustered at being the center of so much attention.

There was an awkward silence as they exchanged glances with each other, but thankfully, Willow decided to be tactful and not push any further, at least for now. I was almost positive she would corner me alone later on and desire a better explanation, but for now I had a respite.

The one I needed to clear the air with the most was Buffy.

"Well you picked a fantastic time to come back," she continued, linking my arm with hers in a friendly fashion and leading me towards several small stacks of books that had been left on the librarian's desk.

They were ancient looking, so they immediately piqued my interest of course. The smell of old ink and paper invited me in, and I ended up pulling Willow to the desk.

"What are these?" I asked, gently opening one volume and leafing through it. It was written in Latin.

"These are some more vampire tomes," Giles informed me, joining us at the desk like an eager schoolboy, "they're incredibly rare, in fact it was a godsend I even heard about them at all, and I had to pull quite a few strings in the museum field to get them, but it was worth it." He looked down at the books and sighed with paternal pride.

I couldn't help but smile at this as I gently put the book down.

"They're beautiful," I agreed, "what made you so excited for them, though?"

"Giles heard they have mention of the Master," Willow explained, "or, a prophecy, one of the two."

"Or both." Buffy said with a shrug.

I raised an eyebrow, intrigued. Truth be told, I think with all of the other issues we'd been having to deal with, we'd almost let thought of the Master slip to the back of our minds.

"So you have plans for tonight?" Xander asked, coming up to join us. "Willow and I are headed to the Bronze," he looked at Buffy, flushed nervously, and then glanced at me, "you, uh, want to come?"

I frowned and glanced at Willow, curious as to why Xander was acting so nervous around Buffy. She caught my look, gave a sad smile, then gave a significant look from Xander to Buffy that only I was meant to see.

Ah, that explained it. He was working up the nerve to court Buffy.

I cleared my throat, trying to think of an excuse.

"Or you could help me translate these." Giles broke in, using a tone of voice one might use to entice a child by bribing him with a treat. He grinned, excited at the prospect, and I saw an opportunity. I nodded, returning his grin.

"It'd be a pleasure." I said, and it would be.

"Awesome," Buffy said, rolling her eyes, "guess that means I finally have time to myself, to…you know…do things." She pouted a bit, and felt Giles stifle a laugh.

"You could help us?" he offered.

"Since when do I know Latin?" she demanded.

"You've been taking it all year." I reminded her. She blinked, confused.

"Oh," she said, "yeah, I have, haven't I?" she laughed at herself and shrugged. "Nah, it's fine," she continued, "I'll leave it to you experts. I need to exercise anyway."

"Suit yourself." Giles said dismissively.

There was a pause, and then Xander and Willow looked at each other again, having a silent conversation which finished when Xander said, "Hey, uh, I just remembered we have to…do a thing. We'll see you later."

Willow turned to me and blushed, smiling sheepishly.

"Sorry," she whispered as she leaned in for another embrace, "Xander wants to practice something with me. You sure you're okay?" she pulled away as she asked, and locked eyes with me, her expression filled with sweet concern.

"Never better, sweetling," I assured her, and then rose up on tiptoe to give her a quick kiss on the forehead.

"Now go have fun." I ordered her. I gave her a small push to get her going, and she went to Xander, he put his arm around her shoulders, and the two of them made their exit.

Once they had gone, a heavy silence filled the room, and I could feel the weight of unspoken words hanging in the air, just waiting for the slightest excuse to drop. I sighed and turned towards the Slayer, who was watching me with arms crossed.

"So," she said, "Giles told me about the whole…biting thing."

If I could have, I would have blushed.

Instead, I tried to avert my gaze, and instead met Giles' eyes. He was trying to give me an encouraging look, but that hurt worse than looking at the Slayer, so I looked at her again.

She left the statement hanging, and I got the feeling she wanted me to say something, but I had no idea what to say, so instead I dipped my head in acknowledgment.

"I think you probably know how I feel about that." She said when I didn't say anything.

"Indeed." I murmured.

"Buffy," Giles chided, "I explained to you that it was at my insistence, and she was dying at the time."

"It's all right, Giles." I told him, "I know Buffy is just ensuring I have no further designs on snacking on any of my friends." I made sure to emphasize that they were indeed my friends just as much as hers.

"Right," Buffy said, walking slowly towards me, "and I do appreciate you not killing my Watcher," she continued, "but just so we're clear, you're not going to bite anyone else as long as I'm around. Anyone living, anyway."

I swallowed, mentally waved off the memory of that night in the prison and nodded.

"I assure you," I said quietly, "feeding from Giles was the last thing I wanted to do. You've no idea how terrified I was-"

"I know," Buffy interrupted, "we all do crazy things when we think we're about to die but-"

"I wasn't worried about dying." I interrupted, a bit louder than I should have, perhaps. "You death is a source of fear for me after all these years of watching everyone and everything I love fall to its embrace?"

I took a step towards her unconsciously, and she retreated, not fearfully, but just out of surprise at my vehemence.

"I wasn't afraid of dying, Slayer," I told her, "I was afraid that I was going to be the cause of more destruction, more evil. I was terrified of causing the death of an innocent, especially an innocent I hold very dear to me."

I looked at Giles then.

"In fact I almost wish he had hurried the process along." I murmured. Giles blinked at me in surprise, then flushed and removed his glasses. He looked down at his shoes uncomfortably, fiddling with his spectacles.

I looked back at Buffy and took a breath to steady my heated temper.

"If you're worried about any adverse effects," I continued, "aside from blood loss, which has already rectified itself, there's nothing else to worry about. When the nightmares ended they removed any taint I might have left in him, and even if there was a taint it wouldn't activate unless he fed from me, which he's not going to."

I lifted an eyebrow at her, "Anything else?"

She stared at me, and I was surprised at how little I feared her now, how confidant I felt that I was right.

"So you won't be feeding from people again?" she said slowly.

I hesitated, but only for a moment before I replied, and tried my hardest to believe myself when I said: "No."

She watched me for another few seconds, then nodded.

"Okay," she said, and the chipper tone had returned to her voice, "then we're good." She gave me a playful punch in the shoulder.

"Glad to have you back," she said, "I've missed my sparring partner."

I managed to smile at that.

"I'm sorry I stayed away for so long, Slayer."

She rolled her eyes at me.

"Call me Buffy before I start calling you Half-Vamp." She told me. I smiled a little wider and nodded to her.

Giles cleared his throat and we looked over at him. He was smiling, in relief it looked like, and he slid his hands into his pockets as he approached us.

"Well," he said with a sigh that took the tension out of his shoulders, "I'm glad we got that resolved at last." He smiled down at me with that gentle, reassuring smile of his that was the only thing that gave me the slightest bit of hope that maybe things would be all right after all.

"You've no idea how tedious it's been trying to do all this research on my own," he said in mock exasperation, "it will be nice to have your assistance again."

I smirked, knowing this was about as sentimental as Giles would get with me as long as we had an 'audience'.

It was just such a relief to have the air cleared, at least for now, and I felt so happy to have smiling, familiar, friendly faces around me once again that I impulsively reached over and gave Giles a quick, fierce hug.

When I pulled away he put a hand on my shoulder and started guiding me towards his office.

"I think you'll find the new volumes quite fascinating," he was telling me, "there's a whole section dedicated to the theory of how the demons takes over the host once a vampire bites its victim and-"

"Okay that sounds great," Buffy said sarcastically as she hurried towards the exit, "call me if you find anything interesting!"

Giles and I watched her go and then he turned to me, still looking excited, but also relieved.

"It is good to see you again, Margery." He said, "Really. We were all getting very worried about you."

I nodded. "I know," I said, "but it doesn't matter now. I'm here, and the past is in the past now, and we have the Master to deal with."

"Indeed we do," Giles said, and straightened, preparing himself for our own little battle with Latin verbs, "and we'd better get straight to it. There's lots to get through and not nearly enough time to get through it all."

He started for his office again, and I followed, as always.

"Of course, we have all necessary supplies." he said as I entered, and I saw he was gesturing towards a small cupboard. I opened it and inside were more boxes of tea than I thought the cupboard capable of holding.

I looked at him and grinned.

"You know me so well."