"Basically, I wished that you loved me." Nicest Thing, Kate Nash

How had everything become so confusing? So mixed up? Edward was my friend, my best friend, and I shouldn't-couldn't-think about him… like this. He didn't love me. He didn't stay awake at night thinking about what it would be like to be with me. To him I was Bella, just Bella, and I had to find a way to convince myself that that's all it was ever going to be. That's all we were ever going to be.

xXxXxXx

"So, Alice thinks that she found a pretty cheap apartment in San Diego. It's three bedrooms so I guess you'll be the lucky one and get a room all to yourself and I'll share a room with Emmett after Rosalie leaves. Until then, looks like I'm destined to sleep on the couch."

I watched from my spot on Edward's bedroom floor as he threw clothes into a suitcase. They would be leaving tomorrow morning for another adventure and the reality of the fact that I wasn't going, was settling in. Edward refused to believe that I would be staying in Seattle and I had been putting off telling him the truth. Sunday morning, Edward would get into a car with his brother, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper and leave for California. I would be here, still in Seattle, wishing I'd been brave enough to tell him that I loved him.

"You're packed, right?" Edward asked. When I didn't answer, he stopped and looked down at me on the floor. "Bella?"

Taking a deep breath, I knew that I had to tell him. "Edward, you know I'm not going."

He laughed quietly. "Seriously, why do you keep saying that? You know you're going. You have to."

I shook my head. "No, I don't. I'm only a semester away from graduating. I want to finish and to be honest I'm not up for another road trip right now. We…" I dropped my gaze to the floor. "I have to grow up at some point, Edward."

"Grow up?" He asked me. "So what? You think that this is all just a pipe dream? That I'm wasting everyone's time and money following a stupid childish desire?"

My head snapped back up to look at him. "You know I don't think that!"

"I don't know what you think," he muttered, turning away from me.

Getting up off the floor, I moved closer to him. "That's a lie, Edward Cullen. You know that I believe in you! You know how talented I think you are! I have always told you that-"

"Yeah," he said as he spun around to look at me. "And now, you're leaving!"

"You're being petulant.

"No, I'm being honest," he countered. "You have spent the last year telling me that you would always be here and now… now you're just… not!"

I frowned, looking up at him. "Just because I'm not there doesn't mean that I don't support you, Edward. Why can't you just understand that I… need to do this for myself? I can't constantly play the groupie for you!"

He opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by his door being thrown open. We both turned to look at his brother smiling at us.

"Hi!" Emmett moved into the room. "Are we ready to go? One last night before taking this freak show on the road again?"

Without looking at me, Edward grabbed his jacket off the end of the bed. "Bella's not going with us."

"Tonight?" Emmett asked as his brother left the room. With a confused look, he turned back to look at me. "You're not going tonight?"

I shook my head and picked up my own coat. "I'm not going to California."

xXxXxXx

"So he took it well?" Alice asked, leaning into me so that I could hear her over the sound of the music. I shook my head at her sarcasm. "You made the choice that was right for you, Bella. Not anyone else. Edward knows that."

I nodded while I watched as Edward made his way around the small bar that had become something like a second home for all us. He laughed, taking pictures and talking with old friends that he probably wouldn't see for a while. But behind his laughter and smile, I saw the underlying doubt that sat in the corner of his eyes.

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"I ruined his good luck party," I told Alice, keeping an eye on Edward.

She shook her head before giving me a one armed hug. "He'll be fine, Bella. I promise."

She gave me one last smile before leaving me to go find Jasper. I took another drink from the bottle in my hand before slowly, and cautiously, making my way to Edward's side. He didn't say anything when I moved to stand next to him but didn't move away either. I offered him another drink but he shook his head.

"You can't leave here mad at me."

"I'm not mad," he leaned down to my ear so that I could hear him. "I'm just… disappointed."

"Edward-"

Rosalie and Emmett came stumbling towards us, obviously a little tipsy, and grabbed our hands to pull us out onto the dance floor. I groaned but followed them, shaking my head while Edward's arm wrapped around my back and his free hand held on to mine. As we slowly moved along with the beat of the music, I leaned my head against his shoulder.

We danced together for a moment without talking, until I'd had enough of the awkward silence. "You have to understand where I'm coming from, Edward. I can't…keep following you around the country, selling your CDs and helping Alice manage the money you're making. I have to have my own life and-"

"And that life won't include me."

I stopped moving, ignoring the couple that bumped into my back. "You're my best friend."

"I know."

"Then how can you say that? You'll always be a part of my life, Edward."

He shrugged before shaking his head. "I'm just… I'm being a selfish jackass."

"Yeah," I agreed. "You are."

Edward grabbed my hand before pulling me off of the dance floor, through a group of people that tried to stop us, and out the back door. Once outside, he took a deep breath and then turned to look at me. "I'm scared, okay?"

I nodded, wrapping my arms around myself. "Okay."

"And I… what if I fuck this up, Bella? What if this is my one chance and I… blow it?"

"You won't." I answered with sincere certainty. "You're an amazing musician, Edward. Just believe in yourself and-"

"I can't do this without you."

My gaze dropped to the pavement beneath me and I shook my head to keep myself from crying, again. I couldn't do this. I couldn't let myself give in and start playing the part of his… I wouldn't even let myself think it. Taking a deep breath, I looked back up at him, steeling my resolve. "You can, Edward. You have to."

"Why?" He quietly asked me.

Because I love you, but you don't love me back.

Because I can't keep lying to myself and thinking that someday you'll feel the same way I do.

I reached forward and held onto his hands before giving him a smile. "Because I know you can."

AN: I am donating a Groupie outtake for fandom4Texas. The proceeds will benefit those who have been affected by the wildfires that we've had here. If you have any certain ideas that you would like to see in an outtake, please send them my way! Thanks, as always!