Chapter 36

Six months passed.

Spring's sweet coolness rapidly deepened into summer's scorching heat. Combined with Gotham's permenantly damp conditions, the resulting weather made everyone feel like they were living under a turned-over porridge bowl. All it took were a few feet outside their respective homes to get people sweating rivers. Every public place had the air conditioning turned up to almost frigid temperatures. Those who could afford it took cabs everywhere they went. Those who could not had to make due with paper fans and bottles of water.

Oswald Cobblepot, however, scarcely noticed the unpleasant climate change. Between his manhunt for Fish Mooney, continued pleas with the GCPD for aid, and training with Ruby in Barker's lab, he barely got a free moment.

And neither did the scientist in question.

"HI-YAH!" Cobblair's katana-arm cut through the air. The flying airplanes with faux grenades taped to their bellies were severed mid-flight. Harmlessly hit the ground as a shower of gunshots fell upon the fusion. A protective flap of skin sprung from Cobblair's back. Grew massive in size as it draped over its owner. Bullets pocketed the fleshy shield, yet the one behind it did not bow. Instead, they charged towards towards the attackers. They swung their arms, now both changed into sickles. The robots holding smoking guns fell like card houses. Cobblair stood over their ruins, gasping and struggling to stand. Their sickle arms rippled as they straightened, skin replacing metal. Both limbs were now covered in motor oil. Wiping their forehead, they turned to the clapping scientist.

"Marvellous!"

Within Cobblair, both Oswald and Ruby rolled their eyes.

Barker looked up from his notes. "Well, that's all I have for today."

Cobblair smirked. In that moment, they looked a bit more like Oswald in their arrogant smugness. "What, no more thugs wielding frying pans?"

"He was dumber than a sack of hammers," Barker admitted, "but hey, he worked cheap. Now, would you mind separating? There are a few things I would like to show you."

Cobblair sighed. Annoyed. "Fine." Their form suddenly began to glow, as if every atom that formed their body had burst aflame. Barker covered his eyes. Through his fingers he saw Cobblair, now only a figure of light, split down the middle like a piece of dry wood. The two broken pieces rapidly took form. All of this took place in...what? Three seconds? Four, tops. But it was such a mesmerizing display, done so casually, that it took Barker's breath away.

The light died. Cobblair was traded for their creators. They were both sweating and wavering, but seemed satisfied at their handiwork. Stretching and popping bones, they shambled towards their seats. How naturally they handled this, how calmly! Perhaps it had something to do with the trust each bestowed on the other? What if...

Barker shook his head. That would come later.

"Fascinating." He muttered. Grinning all the way. "Simply fascinating!" Ruby wiped her forehead with the damp towel she'd brought. Took a sip of her iced apple juice. Stealing a glance at her friend, who was gingerly massaging his knee, she held it out to him. Oswald smiled. With a nod of thanks he took a grateful swing. Once his parched throat was hydrated, he turned to Barker. "What, pray, is so 'fascinating' this time? It seems that you find something newly amazing with Cobblair with each schedueled appointment."

"That's because, with each schedueled appointment, their abilities - your abilities - improve!" Barker ended the sentence with a laugh. Drinking from his own glass, he quickly put some slides in place. With the push of a few buttons, the laboratory darkened. A few more buttons had a blank wall light up. The first slide displayed two X-rays, lying side by side. With the skins little more than dark blue outlines and black backgrounds, one's attention could only be drawn to the bodies' interiors. Namely, the multicolored organs, thread-like bloodstreams, and spotless bones.

"This," Barker pointed at the image, "is the result of the tests I had you do during our first appointment. Remember?"

"How could we not?" Ruby called out, "My head felt like an orange in a mechanical juicer!" Oswald cracked a smile at the comparison.

"For science!" Barker added defensively. "But, well, anyway, I had all of your vitals documented. When you two fluxed, I simply expected a combination of your various biological functions. For instance, the fusion-"

"For the umpteenth time," Oswald rolled his eyes, "they are called 'Cobblair'. A combination of our surnames."

"Yes, right, forgive me." At this point, Barker's irritation was beginning to appear. "Anyway, Cobblair's physical form did indeed prove my hypothesis true. Beyond the bone structure being almost exactly split in half, with Mr. Cobblepot's from the ribs up and Ruby's from the waist down, but many of the internal fuctions are bifercated as well. Their dental work, for instance, is divided between both of yours. Their fingerprints and tongue print, also! Split right down the middle."

"Yeesh," Ruby grimaced. "I pity the guy who'd find our hair on a crime scene."

"Indeed!" Barker pointed at her. "But this sort of division is limited to the body. Here," he slipped the next slide, "is Cobblair's gait." The two watched, transfixed, at the twelve seconds of their union walking across the room. It was so simple, so mundane, yet the movements caught their attention. They shared a glance just in time for Barker to speak up. "See? It holds characteristics of both! It has its shoulders hunched, much like Mr. Cobblepot, yet the arms swing and the hips sway, like Ruby."

Ruby rested her cheek on her fist. "And that means...?"

Barker grinned at her. In the light of the projector, it was both a pleasing and creepy sight. "It means that the mind and the body, in this case, are shared differently. You two maintain specific parts of your bodies when you become Cobblair. But by this walk, and other mannerisms, I can assume that your minds blend together." He raised his eyebrows. "Am I on the right track?"

Oswald and Ruby were silent for a moment. Ruby ran a hand through her curly hair, flashing a nervous smile. Barker stared at them. Feeling like he was talking to a junior high couple going to prom. "Hello?" He asked. "What's the dealio?"

That snapped them both out of their trance. Oswald gave him a look. "'Dealio'? Really?" Barker shrugged. Sighing, Oswald delicately dabbed at his red face with his silk handkerchief. "To be perfectly honest...and I speak of myself, by the way," he cast a look at Ruby, who was now watching him, "when the two of us fuse..." He stopped. Unable to find the words. Or, perhaps, simply unwilling to use them. "It feels as if we have always been Cobblair."

Ruby's eyes widened. Looked down.

Barker scratched his ear. "Do you, in that span of time, forget who you used to be?"

Oswald opened his mouth to answer, but Ruby's voice rang through. "You forget you were ever alone." He glanced back at her. Smiled.

"Amazing." Barker scratched his whiskered chin. At last, the buried quandry blossomed. "Though I wonder, is this exclusive to you two, or would this occur should amalgamation transpire between Ruby and someone else?"

Ruby straightened. Her jaw tightened. "Someone else?"

"Yes!" Barker suddenly barked with laughter. "This could be another branch in our research! If Ruby could fuse with someone else, if only for a moment-"

"No."

Barker blinked. Stared at Ruby. "But-"

"No." Ruby rose. Her fists were flexing at her sides. The skin on her shoulders was rippling like a sheet in the wind. "Oswald is the first and only person I've ever fused with, and I intend to keep it that way."

Oswald's eyes softened.

"If I ever were to fuse with someone else," she continued, "then it would be my own choice, on my own terms. End of story." She sat back down. Her posture was as stiff as a scarecrow's. Oswald quickly reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder. Ruby's tension lessened slightly. Her hand covered his. A slightly tense silence hung over the lab for a moment. Then, Barker scratched at a red rash on his neck. "Um, okay, er..." He swallowed. "I'd say that's a good point to stop, wouldn't you?"

"Yes, I would." Oswald rose. Reluctantly slipping his jacket over his sweaty shirt, he collected his cane. He turned to the videocamera sitting on one of the tables, its red light blinking steadily. Carefully, Oswald halted the recording and pocketed the camera. He held his hand out to Ruby, who gladly took it. "See you next week, Doc." Ruby called over her shoulder. Barker raised a hand in response, already distracted by another experiment. Oswald caught a whiff of himself as he moved, and winced. Ruby directed a lowered voice to him. "Why don't you just wear clothes like this?" She gestured to her baggy, ACDC shirt and gray sweatpants. "They're just gonna get all sweaty and gross anyway, so you might as well go casual."

Oswald snorted. "'Casual' is the type of adjective that must never be applied to the king of Gotham."

"Fine, you blockhead." Ruby playfully rolled her eyes. "But if one of your suits gets ruined, don't come crying to me."

Oswald squeezed her hand. "Yes, I will. You may soothe my soul with another silent movie marathon, if you wish."

"Definitely." Ruby brightened. "Oh! Forgot. They're showing Dracula on TV tonight. The one with Bela Lugosi. Interested?"

"It depends." Oswald replied. "Does it contain elegance, Gothic elements, and bloodshed?"

"Yes, yes, and very yes."

"Then yes, I am interested." Oswald winked at her as the laboratory's back entrance yawned open. Blinding, searing light spilled all over them. Humidity hit them like a wet slap. Grimacing, Ruby shadowed her eyes with her hand. Oswald opened his umbrella over his head. "Wonderful." He muttered. "The one moment Gotham recieves any sunlight, and it has to abuse us."

"Just wait a minute, it'll pass." Ruby assured him. She looked about as her eyes got used to the brightness. A road, balanced by dense cement pillars, rose above their heads. The conundrum of traffic was distant, but still deafening. Above it, Gotham's skyscrapers divided the sky into The ground on which the lab was situated was a desolate one. With the exception of a few abandoned building, which now housed dozens of homeless people, and a few shrubs, there was nothing but dirt down here. The perfect location in which to enact such unusual activities such as theirs. Footsteps entered Ruby's hearing range. She sighed. Then raised her voice as a large, hulking figure appeared. "Hey, Gabe. Thanks for the wait."

Gabe was relatively new. He'd worked for Oswald several times in the past, especially during the latter's first ascent to Gotham's dark throne. He was a tall, wide made with a deeply lined face. His hair was always combed back, and his heavily-lidded eyes constantly gave off an aura of sleepiness. The man had been there for Oswald when poor Mrs. Kapelput had died, and it was something that Oswald could never forget.

What Ruby couldn't forget was the man's former employer: Frankie Carbone.

Swallowing, she gave him a nod as his head blocked out the sun. Providing some much-appreciated shade. Gabe was chewing away at a corndog. Crumbs were stuck to his sweaty face. Nodding in return, he turned to Oswald. "Ya ready to go, boss?"

"Yes." Oswald nodded. With a quick glimpse at Ruby, he added, "And drive this time. Miss Sinclair is feeling a bit tired."

Ruby smiled softly at the gesture.

As clouds once again swallowed up the sun, Gabe nodded. He turned towards the awaiting limo. Ruby handed him the keys. With the push of a button and a chirpy beep, the doors unlocked. As Oswald climbed inside, the cool air tickling his damp flesh, he spoke. "And the chore I assigned you with?"

Gabe settled in the driver's seat. Cracked his knuckles. "All finished, boss."

Oswald wasn't satisfied. "Did he learn his place? Or will he continue insisting that his earnings are his own, and he need not share?"

Gabe sniggered. He reached into his pocket and held something up. Ruby grimaced when she realized what it was: it was a bloody Achilles' tendon.

Oswald, on the other hand, giggled. "I will take that as a yes." Leaning back in the leather seat, he made a dismissive motion. "Now, drive. I'm anxious to get home and clean myself up."

With a mere nod, Gabe put the car in gear. Gravel crunched beneath the tires. Then came the smoothness of a road beneath them. Above their heads, faint thunder rumbled. As the sky darkened, the scent of leather cut out the stench of open sewage that the street provided. The nausea already subsiding, Ruby mimicked Oswald's posture. Noticing his wince as he shifted, Ruby lay a hand on his knee. Just for a second, the veins beneath the skin glowed. Beneath the fabric of his fine trousers, there was a faint luminescence. Oswald sighed in relief and thanked her with his eyes. Ruby blushed and shrugged nonchalantly. He may have refused her offer to heal his knee, but that didn't mean she could ease his pain on occasion.

Yet there was more to it than mere physical discomfort. Ruby could tell. There was a darkness in those icy-blue eyes. Rippling across the brilliant irises like traces of black ink.

Ruby gently took Oswald's hand. It felt damp and clammy in her own. Oswald blinked at the contact and looked at her. "Oz," she said gently, "is something the matter?"

Oswald's eyes widened slightly. He quickly shook his head. Looked away. "No, not at all." He tried to force a smile. Ruby wondered if it felt as queasy as it looked. "I'm simply tired, as well as famished. Would you like to stop for lunch someplace?"

"I'd love to, as long as it's not Olive Garden." Ruby replied. "But, really. Please don't lie to me, Oz." She gave an ironic chortle. "I mean, my God. We literally just shared a body for an hour and a half. Don't you think we're past keeping secrets?"

Oswald's expression cracked like melting ice. Sighing, he nodded. Ran a hand across his coal-colored hair. "I'm sorry."

Ruby squeezed his hand in response. This seemed to encourage him. "Why didn't she kill me?" It didn't take a genuis to understand whom he was speaking of. "We were completely at her mercy. Fish Mooney is a vicious creature. She doesn't distinguish between her prey and the one that gets in her way. So why did she let us fuse? Why did she leave?" He rubbed his eyes. "I mean, I understand why. She could hardly have expected such an outcome. I know I didn't."

Ruby bit her lip.

"But why did she leave? Whatever shock that might have sprung forth myst have been easy enough for Fish to get over. So why?" Oswald shook his head. Turned to look out the window. Ruby stared at him, feeling the terror radiating from his every pore. Just as she had felt it, albeit dimly, within Cobblair. She squeezed Oswald's hand again, this time with both of his. Oswald turned back to her. His eyes glimmered with fearful tears. The sight pinched Ruby's heart, yet she forced a smile. "Well, I know this: whatever she tries, she'll have us to deal with." She scooted a little closer so that Oswald could see how serious she was. "I'll protect you, no matter what."

"Don't be foolish." Oswald cautioned. "Fish will kill you if you prove too stubborn an obstacle."

"I know." Ruby had peered into Oswald's memories over the last few months. Sometimes during their union, sometimes afterwards. She had seen enough to make the notion of confrontation worthy of goose-bumps. "But I'm willing to accept that outcome." Oswald stared at her, at a loss for words.

After a quick lunch at a lasagna joint, Oswald had a long, relaxing bath. Using the salts that Ruby had gotten him last month as a gift, and taking particular care in choosing his attire. After nearly ten minutes of sorting through his wardrobe, he at last settled for a black suit with a teal tie and spats. Then, as an afterthought, he tucked a white rose in the breast pocket. When Ruby saw it, her smile was warm enough to melt frost.

Freshly bathed, her hair was still damp around her face and ears. She had changed in an indigo, loose-collared turtleneck that reached her waist. Beneath it, she wore black pants patterned with bright blue flowers. Pinned to the loose collar was a white rose. It was like a shining star in the night sky. Ruby grinned at him as she quickly dog-eared her book. Rising from the armchair, she drank in his appearance with a whistle. "My, my, Cobblepot." She chuckled. "You look like a million bucks. Nygma's gonna be blown away."

"I hope so." Oswald chuckled. "Though hopefully nobody will attempt to steal my coat the moment I enter."

"Then just wear the cheap one. I tell you every time, but nooo, you've got to look your best 24/7." Ruby chuckled even as she 'complained'.

Oswald smirked. "Guilty."

Crossing her arms, Ruby kept walking until they were only a few feet apart. Sensing his nervousness, she was quick to distract him. "So. I've got three tasks to do in your stead, right?"

"Actually, two." Oswald corrected her. "I called Mr. Orosco before getting ready. He agreed to our offer, so those documents can go back in the vault."

Ruby rolled her eyes. "Really, the guy owns a friggin' coffee shop chain. Who would have thought he was actually buying that kind of pornography?" She shuddered. "I swear, if one of your men hadn't been caught seeing that stuff-"

"We would not be gaining nearly a million dollars in cash today." Oswald interrupted. "I told him my silence is for sale. He bought it, and I will give it. End of story."

Ruby smirked. "Speaking of which, you want me to punish our man? I mean, I know he's the reason we're getting the money, but..." She trailed off, looking unconvinced.

Oswald nodded. "Yes, go ahead. He may have led to this profit, but he did nothing but destroy whatever semblance of dignity he had. Honestly, he had no respect for this workplace, in particular the storage closet you found him in."

Ruby sniggered. "Goody." Rubbing her hands together, she continued ticking off the mental list. "And the money laundering?"

"Too slow." Oswald rolled his eyes. "We have been waiting for three weeks now."

"I know." Ruby replied. Raised her eyebrows. "You want me to give them some...motivation?"

Oswald grinned. "If you would be so kind. And finally-"

"I remember that one." Ruby chuckled. "The computer viruses. I know. Three discs of those, and anyone who tries to hack our security system will get a three-day blackout." She sniggered at the image. "I should know: I'm the one who thought of it."

"Indeed, I owe you dinner for that." Oswald straightened. "Okay, so I'm leaving my empire in good hands. While I go to the crazy farm." He sighed. "If Ed wasn't such a good friend..."

Ruby didn't speak. She never did, when it came to Edward Nygma's supposed friendship. Really, what had he ever done to deserve Oswald's attention? When Oswald had left Arkham Asylum, Edward had slammed the door in his face. Since then, he'd been too caught up in his pathetic vendetta against Jim Gordon to so much as call Oswald. In over a year and a half, Edward had made no attempt to contact Oswald. Not even when the kingpin had begun to visit him, always bringing a gift along.

If it had been up to Ruby, that murderous riddler could rot in Arkham. But of course, it was not up to her. And she didn't have the heart to make it so.

That was why Ruby turned to where she knew the present was: in the chimney. Logically, no one would think to look there. Not amongst the ashes and burnt logs. Elongated arms scavanged through the burnt debris until they found their prize. Once they returned to their owner, Ruby bent down and blew the dust away. She held the package out to Oswald. "Here ya go. Hopefully, it'll take him longer than a second to solve it."

"Oh, come now." Oswald gave her a look. "It's supposed to be one of the most difficult ever crafted."

"But from what you've told me, Nygma makes Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory look like a blithering idiot. So, yeah. I think he'll crack it quickly." Ruby winked. Oswald trapped her in a hug that she gladly returned. He rubbed her back. Smiling softly against her shoulder. "Thank you." He whispered. "Without you and Edward, I wouldn't know what to do."

Ruby squeezed her arms around his middle. "You'd be fine." She assured him. "A bit more nervous, probably. But you'd give everyone a run for their money." As they pulled away, she forced a smile despite her inner shell of worry. "Go on. If you're lucky, you two will be able to have the visiting room for yourselves."

"Yes." Oswald backed away, his cane thumping against the marble floor. "I do hate sharing." He gave her a little bow. "Farewell, my friend. I shall see you in a while."

"That you will!" Ruby called after him just as the door closed. But as his uneven footsteps faded, Ruby chewed on her lip. Dark thoughts of Fish Mooney and Edward Nygma churned within her skull. Who, she wondered, would prove to be the most deadly?