Hello !
Title : Misery Business
Genre : Drama, Romance.
Disclaimer : I don't own the characters unfortunately. They are the property of HBO and Charlaine Harris ! I only own my OC, Elizabeth Adams.
Chapter 34 : Just A Kiss
« We're going to hide, or at least you are going to hide yourself. » He shook his head. « After everything you've done, you shouldn't been seen in Shreveport or in Bon Temps. We're going to stay home until Eric gives a sign. It may not be the safest place here, but I don't really know where we could go. There's no human house we can use and I have to stay here for Eric.» Godric as he clenched his fists. This situation made him angry, I thought. He had every reason to be like that.
I nodded and was silent. I was afraid to talk… I was feeling just so guilty and I was remembering everything I had done to Godric. I think I needed time to think about everything, about me and about us. It felt so right to be here with him but I was now terrified to hurt him again and lose him. It was like I could only hurt people I loved, it was like I was heartless. Everyone who loved me died or ended up being hurt because of me.
I should start to think about the one I loved before myself. Oh yes, I was only thinking about myself if I was being honest. I had never really thought about my family's feelings when I was ill, I've never thought about Arthur's one during all those years. He had done everything for him, he had died for me and yet I was thinking about my pathetic life.
And Godric, I've always said that I would never hurt him anymore, that I would stop being selfish but I've never done it. I kept being selfish. I had to make everything right, I had to give him everything. I had to become someone's else. Someone who would never be stupid enough to hurt the only person who cared.
The only thing I was wondering was if I could really do this. Was I strong enough to do this ? That was a very good question. I was so blind sometimes.
« Elizabeth, are you listening ? » Godric asked as he waved his hand at me. I was definitely not listening, I hadn't even realized that he was talking. I had surely missed something important but it didn't matter anymore.
« I'm sorry. I was lost in my thoughts. » I said and frowned. Oh yes, I was lost…. More than lost if it was even possible.
He stared at me. « May I know about what you were thinking ? » Of course, he wanted to know and this time I wasn't going to lie again. I was tired of lying.
I bit my bottom lip. « I was thinking about how much I've been a bitch towards everyone. Maybe, I should just leave. » Leaving, that would be heartbreaking for me… « Honestly Godric, I promised you that I would never act like that again but I don't think I can keep my promise. I'm starting to think that… »
« Don't you dare saying this ! » He screamed as he interrupted me. his hands were now staying on my shoulders as he gently shook me. « You cannot leave me, you cannot leave Eric or even Pam. Once again, you're being selfish because you think that running from your problems will solve everything but you are so wrong. I can't believe you are so stupid sometimes, this is not how you can make it work. You need to stay here. »
I stared at the ground, I didn't want to look at him, to see how disappointed he was. Was I really selfish when I wanted to leave to make him happy and not worried about me ? I didn't know.
Why was he mentioning Eric ? His Child wasn't very fond of me. He tolerated me because of Godric, maybe he was caring about me but only because of Godric. Then my departure wouldn't bother him. And Pam, well she was great but I don't think she would be sad if I left. We were somehow friends but not best friends.
« I just want to make things right. » I shook my head and got away from his grip, turning my back towards him. « But I don't know how… » I admitted and it hurt.
If felt him behind him, his arms around my waist. and his head resting on my shoulder. « Close your eyes. »
« What ? » Godric was going crazy. Why did he want me to close my eyes ? That must have been the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
« Do it. » He ordered as his grip on my waist tightened. I could feel his all body in this position and it felt so great to be like that.
I sighed and did as he said. Closing my eyes wasn't going to hurt but what did he have in mind ?
« And now, what do you want me to do Godric ? » I asked. This was ridiculous, completely ridiculous. Why did I even accept to do this ?
« Do you remember when you told me you loved me ? Do you remember the time we spent in Shreveport before Arthur's death ? Do you remember when you were so carefree ? You weren't always so anxious, you were so happy. We were happy together, don't you want to be like that ? don't you want to feel that way again ? »
All of the sudden it seemed so strange to me… I understood what he was implying. I understood what he meant when he talked about Eric and Pam. It was so evident that it had never crossed my mind. I was stupid, I definitely was but Godric… He knew how to make me realize what was just in front of me. He had probably learnt that talent during his two thousand years of existence.
Godric was just trying to make me understand that we were all a family, a wicked family but we all cared about each other. We were not only friend, it was so much more. Even if Eric and I weren't close like Godric and him were, we were somehow starting to become like brothers and sisters maybe.
« I remember everything perfectly. » I admitted.
« No, you don't remember everything perfectly, I'm sure you need a reminder. » He said but was so wrong. Of course, I remembered everything and it made me understand what I was missing. Why did he think that he need to make me remember.
When I felt his lips on my neck, his fangs on my neck I gasped… I think I knew now what he was trying to make me remember. He didn't only want to make me understand that we were a family, no he wanted me to remember that together we were more than that. I was completely his and right now I was completely at the mercy of his kisses.
Before Arthur's death, Godric and I couldn't keep our hands off each other and it was just so perfect. There was no need to worry about anything, we were just enjoying each other company. We just couldn't control ourselves at the time and we couldn't get enough. We'd make out everywhere, we didn't really care if people were watching us. When we were at Fangtasia, that was a fabulous show, Pam had once told me. Of course she enjoyed the show and the customers too. It's hard to believe that we were like that, it seemed so far away from now.
« Godric… I… » I moaned and closed my eyes. This was too much for me, his lips and his hands on my body. I just couldn't think clearly while he was touching me everywhere. Why was I even trying to think ? I should just enjoy this moment but then I kept thinking about what was happening and all those issues.
And Godric, he shouldn't do this. His Child was going to be in danger and the only thing he wanted to do right was sleeping with me. That was not right.
« No, we shouldn't.. » I whispered and tensed when I felt his hand under my shirt. He was not making this easy, definitely not.
« Why shouldn't we ? Let yourself enjoy our little moments together just like before… » He answered as his kiss my cheek. « I need to feel that way again, I need to know that we are still the same, I just need you Elizabeth. Do you remember how it felt ?»
My only answer was a long moan when his fangs were grazing my shoulders. I wanted to feel that way again, when it was so evident that we were in love.. When every time we touched my body was on fire…
Why was I even resisting this feeling ? Why was I trying to lie to myself by thinking about our problems ? What I needed, what Godric needed, was just a way to forget and also a way to remember how it felt. Maybe that was what could really make me change, after that I would never want to mess up everything, after that I would never want to leave him again… Because leaving him meant being miserable, I was nothing without Godric. Maybe enjoying myself, maybe loving him was selfish but I just wanted this. I wanted this more than I wanted Russell Edgington's death.
My fangs were down seconds later because of how aroused I was starting to get and because I was having a hard time controlling myself now. And I was not the only one who was getting a little bit too aroused by this. I could feel Godric, I could feel his growing bulge. He was teasing me and loving every second of it… I just couldn't take it anymore, I had to do something.
I quickly turned around, facing Godric who was smirking. He had gotten me right where he wanted me. I wanted him more than anything and I was pretty sure he knew it perfectly.
« I know that look in your eyes, the one that I missed so much. » He whispered huskily but didn't move, in fact he didn't do anything. He was starting at me, waiting for me to make a move. And that was exactly what I was planning to do.
I was planning to do many things until dawn and now it was my time to tease Godric, or rather trying to do so. I didn't know if I could have enough self control to do this. My desire for him was growing as the minutes passed…And I just wanted to throw myself at him, begging him to do anything with me. It was hard to believe that I had so stupid to want to leave him while he was making me feel like that.
« What do you want Godric ? » I asked and ran my hand on his still covered chest. He raised his eyebrow but understood immediately that I was now playing a very dangerous game… Dangerous but very exciting.
He grabbed my hand, stopping me and bought me close to him. He was pressing his hard body against me as our face were slowly getting closer. If only I could feel his breath on my face, if only we were humans.. I could feel our heartbeat… I knew that if I was human, my heart would be beating in my chest…
And that was when I couldn't control myself anymore.. Of course, I wanted to tease him, to make this moment last forever but we had forever and there would be plenty of other moments like that in our future. So I kissed him, fiercely, gripping his nape in order to pull him closer to me.
I didn't know how it happened but soon I found myself on my back, on the ground. How did we fall ? I wasn't sure but I didn't really care because Godric was really good at distracting me. Our clothes had nearly disappeared.
Elizabeth was sleeping as Godric watched her. They got home just before dawn, laughing and kissing like they was no tomorrow, they had forgotten about everything for a few hours but now Godric was alone, awake during daylight. The bleeds had begun but he didn't really care. He couldn't sleep that day, there was no way he could no matter how much he needed to sleep. He could feel the need to lay down, close his eyes and rest.
He had dealt with many things during his two thousand years, he had always been sure that everything would be aright but now, he wasn't so sure. He acted like nothing was wrong, like he wasn't too worried but that was completely wrong. He knew that it wasn't going to end up very well, he could feel that something was going to happen and if he was being honest with himself, he was starting to get scared. He was afraid to lose everything, his Child, Pam and Elizabeth because of Russell Edgington and of Eric's mistakes… For the first time in his vampire life, his fear was starting to control him. For the very first time, he didn't know what to do, what he could do….
Why did everything become so messed up ? When they came back from Dallas, everything seemed so perfect and Godric was glad that Elizabeth had convinced him to stay alive. He had another chance to live, to make things right and maybe to forget what he had done in the past… But then, Russell Edgington came along and destroyed everything in a heartbeat.
When Godric first thought about Russell, Eric was the first one who came in his mind. His Child had finally found the vampire responsible for the death of his family. The older vampire was happy but he couldn't help but be afraid… Russell Edgington was one of the oldest vampire in the world, how could Eric find a way to take him down without being hurt or without meeting the true death ? Godric didn't know.
Of course, he knew Eric was clever and could find a way to get out of this mess safe and sound but there was still a huge risk. Godric wasn't ready to lose him bu he wouldn't let that happen because he would do everything to protect him. He just needed to be there on time, but then again Russell was older than him. Godric wasn't sure he could do something… However, he needed to trust Eric, he was going to be okay. He had to because his life depended on this but Pam's life too…
Pam who was being tortured by The Magister. Godric couldn't believe what had happened. What was Eric thinking when he was selling vampire blood for Sophie Ann ? He could have refused, he could have told him at least. Godric knew he could have done something to prevent everything. Now, he could only trust Eric and hope that he will save Pam. Even if, Eric couldn't save her, Godric would do something. He couldn't let her meet the true death and would fight The Magister if he needed to. He wasn't afraid of him, he wasn't afraid of The Authority…
Godric sighed as he leaned against the wall. His eyes fell on Elizabeth. She was resting and could never imagine what Godric was thinking. He loved her, she was the reason he stayed alive but she was making everything difficult. Of course, Godric could understand her desire to get revenge on Russell just like he did with Eric, but there was a huge difference between Eric and Lizzie. She didn't know what to do, she was reckless and didn't care that he loved her. She was doing what she wanted, when she wanted. She didn't realize what she was doing to him, she didn't realize that she was putting herself in danger every time… Eric on the other hand knew exactly what he was doing, he wasn't too blinded by his desire for revenge while Elizabeth was.
If only she could realize how much she was hurting him. He knew she didn't want to hurt him, he knew she had promised to change but he wasn't sure it was possible. She was going crazy, Godric could feel it and he was afraid to lose her. And a part of him was starting to get tired of fighting every time with her. He loved her, truly, with all his heart but he didn't know how much he could take. It was too much for him sometimes. Every time they fought, he was afraid of saying he would regret later, he was afraid to lose control. She was pushing him to his limits.
Actually, Elizabeth was uncontrollable and it killed him inside. Since Arthur's death, she had been crazy and something told Godric that it wasn't going to get better now. If only he could make her understand that he would always be here for her. He would do anything if that could make her be herself again, the one he fell in love with. It was great back then, of course she had tried to kill him but he had forgiven her. He had seen it in her eyes, he had seen how much she loved him. And now, he knew she still felt the same but something was different.
Godric was also pretty sure about one thing, he could feel deep inside of him, something was going to happen to her. He wished he could protect her even if he knew that she wouldn't like the fact that he wanted to protect her. She always thought that he was trying to control her, to prevent her from getting what she wanted but that wasn't what he was doing. She just didn't understand that she was putting herself in too much danger and that he was the only one who could protect her…
That made him wondering if she had been like that with her maker, Arthur… Godric didn't know what to think about that but he knew that Arthur had been a great maker. He had made mistakes but it wasn't like Godric had been perfect with Eric. At least he had kept Elizabeth safe for a while and Godric would only thank him for that because thanks to him, he had the chance to be with her, not matter how difficult she was… Of course, a small part of Godric still wished he could have been her maker. They could have shared so many things.
The old vampire came back next to Elizabeth and sat on the bed. His hand brushed her cheek, she was dead to the world and Godric smiled. At least, she wasn't in danger right now with him, she wasn't trying to do something. She was just sleeping peacefully.
« I love you, I wish you could just understand what you mean to me. » He whispered, knowing that she would never know.
I hope you liked this chapter and Godric's point of view.. It was really hard to write that part and I hope it wasn't too bad. I also hope you're not disappointed by this chapter...
The next chapter is going to be great I think. I'm very excited about it !
A huge thanks to Artemis Wolfe, Nicola, princess moon shadow, DarkAngel620, Carlypso and I'm Plotting Something Evil for their reviews ! I was really happy because of them. I really needed them during my awful exams !
Don't forget to leave me a little comment please ?