Chapters 134-136 of Nobody Sees Me Wishing

"This sucks," I said out loud, breaking the silence that had fell over the room. It was the last night in the dormitory – ever – and we were having a small party just for the guys which meant it was the last night to drink firewhisky and play Exploding Snap until our fingers were burned (followed by passing out on the floor).

Remus chuckled at my statement, shaking his head. "Eloquent."

"What are you going to do without us, Moony?" I asked, sitting back against the headboard of my four-poster.

"Yeah, how are we supposed to help you now?" James added, leaning forward and only stumbling slightly.

Remus just rolled his eyes, but I knew he was thinking the same thing. "It'll be just like it is during summer break-"

"But this is forever," Peter exclaimed, scrambling forward to the edge of his bed. "This isn't a couple months."

"I'll live," Remus said. He wasn't very convincing.

I shrugged and said, "I'm sure Dumbledore has thought of something. I think he knows anyway – he knows everything."

"He's not a seer-" James began saying but I waved him off.

"You never know," I continued, "There could be a potion made by then. After all, Slughorn had said something about a potion being tested at the beginning of the year. By now, it could definitely be ready."

"That'd be nice, but I doubt it," Remus replied.

"You're such a downer," James complained, turning to hang upside down off of his bed. "You are ruining the party." He tried to reach over to Remus but instead managed to fall off the bed with a loud thump.

"Wow, Prongs, had enough to drink?" Remus said, trying to hide his amusement and pretty much failing big time.

James rolled over to look at him. "Of course not," he exclaimed before bursting into a fit of laughter. Even I hadn't had that much to drink which was really surprising.

But I couldn't drink and try to forget this time. Even firewhisky couldn't stop me from thinking about tomorrow.

Tomorrow when I had no clue where I'd be going or what would happen. I was invited back to the Potter's but I wasn't planning on staying there for long. I had money from Uncle Alphard and wanted to use it to buy my own flat in London. But where would I find one? And what about Ivy? I had no clue what she was doing.

With a sigh, I managed a smile and watched as Remus tried to hold a bottle of firewhisky out of James's grasp.

"Here, Padfoot, catch!" I caught the bottle with one hand as James staggered to his feet and stomped like a little child.

"You guys are meeeean!" he exclaimed loudly.

He stared, confused at the immediate laughter and only noticed joined in when Peter fell off his own bed from laughing too hard.

After laughing and accidentally spilling a couple bottles of firewhisky, we finally lapsed into silence again. With a huge sigh, James leaned against the side of the bedpost and looked up at the ceiling. "Do you think the Order meetings will be at Hogwarts?" I was about to answer when he continued. "I love this castle – it's so big and sparkly and magical."

I muffled my snort. "Oh, really? A school of magic being magical-"

"Shut up!" James reached out to swat me and ended up flailing in the air. "We're gonna be leaving forever!" Suddenly, he began singing, "We're gonna be leavin' on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again, oh babe, I hate to gooooooo!"

I blinked, wincing at the singing I just heard. "What's a jet plane?"

Remus rolled his eyes (yet again) and said, "Prongs, have you been listening to muggle music again?"

James just shrugged with a grin and continued to belt, "There's so many times I've let you down blah blah something played around-"

"Moooooony!" I whined, dramatically covering my ears. "Make him stop!"

Remus mouthed some words of "no, I can't" to me as James continued the loud screeching, "So many times I've played around. I tell you now, they don't mean a thing!"

"TORTURE!" I yelled as loud as I could. "Prongs, your singing voice is bloody awful!"

Where was my wand to silence him? I didn't care if no magic was allowed after hours – this was a special case and I couldn't take the insult on my beautiful ears anymore. Of course my wand would be missing this one crucial time I needed it -

"Every place I go, I'll thi-"

I watched in relief as James's mouth kept moving but no awful croaking sounds continued to be heard.

"Thank god," I muttered.

Remus shook his head, putting his wand back away. "Hey, your drunk singing is even worse."

"HEY BABY," I sing-shouted, trying to hide my satisfied grin, "WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?!"

He didn't even hesitate to wave his stupid wand and silence me too. And when I made a motion to snap his wand in half, all I got was a shrug with a smile in return.

-x-

I had always imagine the ride back from Hogwarts to be a huge party with everyone celebrating that we were finally done with exams.

I never expected the silence, but thankfully, it wasn't awkward. It was almost a comforting silence, especially with Ivy next to me and her shoulder brushing mine. Her presence was enough.

The only conversation was Lily asking Ivy what she was doing for the summer. I looked over at her interestedly, not sure what her plans were yet. She replied that she was going to stay with her parents – who I was sure liked Remus more than me. Well, it was bound to be an interesting summer.

Quickly nudging James as the train rolled to a stop, I told him that I was going to say goodbye to Ivy. After a quick eye roll, he joked that he was going to leave without me. At least, it seemed like a joke – he still was still quite bitter about our singing jokes.

She was quiet (as usual) and I didn't say anything as she lead the way through the crowd and out onto the platform.

Goodbyes – I never could get the hang of these. Usually, I ended up breaking things off during the summer because I knew it was going to be difficult to work out. And I liked being single during the summer – more opportunities. But this time it was Ivy and I had to say goodbye to her the right way.

"Um," she suddenly said, turning to me and after brushing back pieces of her hair for a couple seconds, finally added, "You promise to write everyday?"

With a reassuring smile, I said, "Everyday. And since my Uncle Alphard left me money, I'm planning on buying a flat in London. You're invited over any time you want."

Anything to see her more.

"Okay," she agreed and I leaned forward to kiss her goodbye.

She lingered a bit and I grinned at her. "I'll see you soon."

"Soon," she repeated, with a smile.

Forcing myself to walk away, I found myself getting lost in the crowd. Where was James? Did he really leave without me? That basta-

"Hey, Padfoot, over here!"

Looking to the right, I caught sight of James and Mrs. Potter standing on the other side of the platform. Hurrying over to the train, I grabbed my things and then finally caught up with them.

"Sirius, dear, how was your last year?" Mrs. Potter asked as soon as I was in sight, walking forward to grab me into a hug.

"Great, as usual," I responded with a grin.

She pulled out of the hug, looking at me as if I was hiding something. I laughed as she let go, patting my shoulder to turn to James.

"You know, Sirius has a girlfriend this year, mum," he exclaimed with knowing grin. He knew exactly what he was getting me into.

Mrs. Potter had always lectured me about settling down with a great girl and now she was going to probably throw a party in celebration. I couldn't help with smile at the thought.

"Oh, really? Another one?"

We started to make our way out of the station, pushing our carts filled with our bags. I leaned forward against the handle of mine as James added, "A serious one, mum."

Her eyebrows raised and I groaned. Knowing that there was no way out of it (and even if there was, it was Mrs. Potter and she would probably know sooner or later), I said, "Her name is Ivy Bennett and she is – or was now – in our year. Gryffindor too."

Mrs. Potter smiled slightly and then James had to add, "She's also the quietest, shyest, most unlike Sirius girl in our year...ever." James's mum opened her mouth to say something but then James continued, "Oh, nicest, innocent-est, if that's a word, and all around totally not Sirius's type."

"Glad to know you approve, James," I muttered sarcastically.

"And I love that girl to death!" James exclaimed, and then quickly said, "But not in that way. Sirius has her in that way. I've got my Lily – did I tell you about Lily, mum?"

I was never more thankful for a rambling speech about how wonderful Lily Evans is.

-x-

According to Ivy's letters, her mum wouldn't stop talking about how she disapproved of me every time Ivy walked into the room. I could hear Ivy's frustration through her words and I offered to visit her and make everything better.

I was only an apparation away, but Ivy was still stalling, saying something about how her mum would kill me and she wouldn't want me to be in that danger.

Chuckling, I responded that I needed to see her – it had been two weeks.

And those two weeks included:

James proclaiming his love for Lily.

James's mum trying to ask me about Ivy in the most inconspicuous way possible.

More James proclaiming his love. Through letters and just randomly throughout the day such as "Oh, did I mention that Lily's hair is the same color has this rose. Isn't that ironic – they're both flowers." (I had stared at him blankly after that statement and then walked away without saying anything.)

James saying he was missing Lily terribly.

Remus and Peter only sending a couple letters to keep me sane.

So, in my new letter, I pleaded with Ivy, promising her that her mum wouldn't mind if I came over and I needed to see her.

But there was only a week until I had my flat and maybe I could survive until then.

"I heard post!" James came skidding into the kitchen. "Was it for me? Lily sent me something?"

Or maybe I couldn't.

The letter came about an hour later and with a thankful sigh, I took the letter from Ivy's owl. After a quick look around (James was probably hiding behind the corner, waiting for the sound of the post again). I slowly opened it.

Sirius,
Fine. I caved. You know I would, didn't you? Can you come over tonight? Try to make it a surprise – that way my mother won't think I planned this entire thing. Write back.
-I
P.S. It's a...long story. Maybe I'll tell you one day.

Thank merlin.

I'll be there, I scrawled on the back of her post and sent it off quickly.

"HE-" I stopped myself and quickly changed my mind.

Prongs,
I'll be back in a couple hours. Going to visit Ivy.
Padfoot
P.S. If you mention Lily again when I get back, I'm going to stun you – just warning you.

Apparating to the street address Ivy had given me, I looked around the unfamiliar part of town. It was a nice neighborhood with close, neat buildings.

After wandering around for a couple minutes, I finally found the right house. And that only took about an hour. Ivy was probably worried that I wasn't coming now.

Hurrying up the stairs, I reached out and rang the doorbell, hoping that her mum wouldn't answer the door. After a couple seconds, the door swung open and I was relieved to see Ivy standing there with a smile on her face.

Someone was standing next to her – a older woman - and she was staring at me too. I fidgeted nervously, wondering if Ivy's mum had called backup to fight against me or something.

But, no, that was stupid.

Ivy turned to the woman and said goodbye as she began making her way out of the door. Then she stopped in front of me and I knew I was in for it.

"You can invite him over any time you want," she said instead, clearly with a suggestion tone. My eyebrows raised as she smiled at me and walked down the steps.

Turning back toward Ivy, I saw her mother standing behind her with a look of disgust on her face.

Ivy grinned at the sight of it and turned to me with a soft hi.

"Hey," I responded, watching her mum out of the corner of my eye. She was still standing there, watching us. "How have you been?" I asked, trying to resist the urge to just kiss her. I doubt her mum would enjoy seeing that. She'd probably pry us apart.

"Pretty good. I have news," she exclaimed.

I cringed as her mother joined in. "I have to talk to both of you before any of this gets out of hands."

I raised my eyebrows at Ivy. She shrugged sympathetically back at me.

"Ivy's aunt just offered her a flat to live in," Ivy's mum began to explain.

Perfect. My immediate grin disappeared though as I caught sight of the look on her mum's face. She was going to kill me.

"Since Ivy's of age, I really can't stop her from going," Ivy's mum continued. Leaning over, I brushed Ivy's hand slightly and she glanced at me quickly before enclosing her hand in mine. At least we could have some sort of contact. "But I can have Ivy's father put some enchantments up, make sure you aren't doing anything you shouldn't be, especially any sort of-" Her eyes flickered down to our hands. "-inappropriate contact."

What else could I do? It was Ivy's mum – I had to agree with her. Nodding, I replied with "of course."

And Ivy's mum just rolled her eyes at me. "I'm dead serious, Mr. Black."

I stopped myself from stepping back. "I know," I responded.

I guess that was the wrong answer when she scowled at me before turning to go in the kitchen.

I immediately turned to Ivy and groaned. "She hates me," I said when her mum was out of range.

And Ivy just laughed at me, like my pain was bloody hilarious. "I told you," she said with a soft shrug. "You decided not to believe me."

"How can she hate me?" I said in disbelief. That could pose a potential problem – I wonder if her mum was going to try to separate us. What if she had a secret thing going on with Remus and his family to get them together? She obviously loved him. What did I do to make her hate me?

"I'm sorry," Ivy said. I looked at her to find her looking down at her shoes, as if she was embarrassed or ashamed.

I tugged on her hand in reassurance and said, "Do you want to get out of here? Go on a walk or something?"

A soft nod was all I needed to lead her outside. Immediately, I could breathe again. It was so stuffy and scary inside of Ivy's house. Out here, everything seemed...okay.

"I've never actually done anything that my parents didn't approve of," she said after a couple seconds of silence. "Should I feel this awful?"

"No, of course not." I shook my head. "It'll work out – promise." She turned to smile at me and I immediately felt better.

"I missed you," she suddenly said.

I couldn't help but grin at her. "You know James hasn't shut up about Lily since we've been home? He keeps repeating and repeating that he misses her over and over again. Though as adorable as he thinks it is, I think he has the wrong idea."

Her eyebrows rose at me and she mouths an "oh?"

"I think it's much better to just say it once and mean it," I said, watching her expression. She tilted her head at me and, resisting the urge to laugh, I said, "I missed you."

I was only slightly surprised when she didn't wait to turn to me and stand on her tip-toes, bringing me into a kiss.

Well worth the wait.

WHY IS THIS STORY SO HARD TO WRITE? If you are subscribed to me, you know that I've been writing one-shots. Lately, anything has been better than writing this story. I'm sorry about that.

Anyway, the song used in this chapter is Leavin' on a Jetplane by John Denver. Why did I use it? Because it just popped in my head while writing and time period appropriate so I decided to use it. There's another song used but it's only two lines and not as important. And it...isn't time period appropriate.

Thanks for reviewing everyone. I appreciate it so much. Thanks so much!